Why do some people not send....

[birdiesunshine]

thank you notes?

We were very generous to DH's cousin who recently graduated college and she never bothered to send a thank you note. We thought it was just us until we started asking other family members and they hadn't received one either. How tacky!!!! It takes 1 minute to write a thank you note. When people take time to get a gift for someone and attend a party the receiver should take the time to send a thank you.

 

[Stitchfans]

Seems like people don't pay any attention to simple manners any more. RSVing, thank you notes, returning phone calls, so on. Everyone is in a big hurry to get no where.

 

[kimisabella]

I always send thank you notes to people, I also make my dd5 send out thanks you's for all gifts she receives, even if it is $5. My dh's family doesn't send out any, for any occasion - I have just learned to accept it. I can only control what we do, and I know that I try to do the right thing .. (most of the time)

 

[lil mermaid]

I don't know why they don't. One time, I sent my cousin a card with a gift certificate in it when he and his wife had a baby (they live in a different state.) Several months had gone by, and I realized that I hadn't heard from them. Then a couple more months. I started thinking that maybe the gift card had been lost and was feeling bad because I didn't want them to think I didn't send them anything!

So...I asked his mother if they had received my card. I received a thank you note soon after that. I later found out that my cousin's wife thought that I was rude for asking because "doesn't she know that you have one year to send out thank you notes???"

Anyway, if nothing else, a thank you note lets the gift giver know that a gift was received!

 

[birdiesunshine]

I don't know why they don't. One time, I sent my cousin a card with a gift certificate in it when he and his wife had a baby (they live in a different state.) Several months had gone by, and I realized that I hadn't heard from them. Then a couple more months. I started thinking that maybe the gift card had been lost and was feeling bad because I didn't want them to think I didn't send them anything!

So...I asked his mother if they had received my card. I received a thank you note soon after that. I later found out that my cousin's wife thought that I was rude for asking because "doesn't she know that you have one year to send out thank you notes???"

Anyway, if nothing else, a thank you note lets the gift giver know that a gift was received!

I think you have a year for a wedding but not some random gift. You are also right that sometimes it's just nice to know that someone received something that was sent to them.

 

[princess pooh]

I was totally impressed when my six year old cousin wrote me a thank you note for the flowergirl basket I gave to her! I thought it was very classy and it inspired me to finish writing the ones for our wedding gifts.

If a six year old can do it...

 

[Traveller]

I"doesn't she know that you have one year to send out thank you notes???"

Actually the etiquette is that people have one year to send you a gift. Thank you notes are supposed to be written *promptly*. FWIW, i took waaayyyy too long to send out our wedding thank you notes.

 

[aprilgail2]

My daughters birthday party is this coming Saturday....I already had her start working on thank you cards by writing Love and her name...After her party she will fill in the To and the persons name and I will write the rest...I always like to say Thank you for and then whatever they gave her and maybe another line or so...she is 5 so its a bit much for her to write all that on 40 cards so for now as long as she addresses and signs them I will help her out with the rest. Her party is Saturday and on Monday morning those thank yous will be out in the mail.

 

[NCDisneyMom]

We are still waiting for thank-you notes from my cousin's wedding...11 years ago!!! Of course, she's divorced now, so I highly doubt we'll be seeing them.

 

[Tracey1974]

I went to my boss's wedding in 2003- I wrote a fairly large check (more than I would usually give) and haven't gotten a thank you yet. First their excuse was that they were waiting for the thank you pix from the photographer but I don't know what the latest excuse is. It has been over 2 years and it still bothers me.

 

[mommaU4]

It takes 1 minute to write a thank you note. When people take time to get a gift for someone and attend a party the receiver should take the time to send a thank you.

I could not agree more! It's such a simple thing to do and yet it means so much to the person who went out of their way for you. I was raised to write thank-you notes and am now raising my kids to do the same. Hopefully it is something that more people will start doing or remember to do more often.

 

[PixieDust32]

I know! I send presents to some of my friends on their birthdays, and their kids too, and nothing, not even a darn phone call.

 

[Pop Daddy]

I save all my stamps for bills

 

[barkley]

i've got an all time "tacky" to share. wedding thank-you notes that did not arrive until 3 years later. they came in an envelope with a photo copy of a note that said "sorry these are late but we accidently lost them and just came across them"; the kicker was that 2 days later the baby shower invites from this couple arrive in the mail. COINCIDENCE-i think NOT!

 

[minkydog]

I am a stickler for thank you notes. My kids hate it, but I make them write thank you notes within the week when they receive a gift. None of my nieces or nephews write thank-yous and two of my siblings act like writing thank-you notes gives them hives. It irks me terribly to not have a gift acknowleged--I know it's silly, but it's a courtesy thing.

On the other hand, my DS19 received money for his HS graduation and he has yet to write a thank you note. I have harrassed him enough;now the chips will fall where they may. I would serve him right if they never send him anything else.

 

[horseshowmom]

I'm also a stickler for thank you notes. Growing up, DD was expected to write a thank you note before using the gift, spending the money, or cashing the check (depending on what the gift was). She's had many positive comments made to her concerning her prompt thank you notes (usually followed by a negative remark about somebody who didn't do the same). It does matter, and people shouldn't think that others don't pay attention to it.

 

[barkley]

i have been sorely tempted to gift some neices and nephews (and thier parents) with gift baskets containing stationary, pens, stamps and BOXED THANK-YOU NOTES.

 

[PixieDust32]

i have been sorely tempted to gift some neices and nephews (and thier parents) with gift baskets containing stationary, pens, stamps and BOXED THANK-YOU NOTES.

There you go.
They might get the message.

 

[armywife]

You guys must have been reading my mind -- I was just thinking that the weddings I have attended the past several years I have only received a thank you from my best friend and my brother & SIL and a guy I grew up with (he wrote it himself--I was soooooo impressed)! In my gift basket to my cousin's bridal shower I put in a "how to write thank you notes" book and I still didn't get one.

I once received a pre-printed one with their picture. I was a little mad about that! All they had to do was address the envelope & stamp it -- they probably don't even know who got them what! Then a few years later I appreciated that she even sent one!

Now it's time for their baby showers, and I feel like my gift will go unappreciated or it's expected that I send something.

 

[Briarmom]

i have been sorely tempted to gift some neices and nephews (and thier parents) with gift baskets containing stationary, pens, stamps and BOXED THANK-YOU NOTES.

Me too! And you've just given me the final push to do it! Godson will be getting those (along with something else) for Christmas this year. His grandparents and aunts (and godmother) deserve it!