Why do people do this--sending "illness" info

[piglet too]

I have to go for an ultrasound today. I am trying not to worry too much, but it is kinda hard. A friend of mine knows I am going and sent me info on ovarian cancer. Why?????? I was/am already worried about it without seeing the signs/symptoms of which I had 9 of 11. Possibly 10 of 11, depending on how the doctor would see it. I am greatful for her concern, but was the info needed? I did not ask for it, I did not ponder what could be wrong. Heck, I had not even told my husband how nervous I am.
How would you deal with this? I do have other tests coming up, normally would tell her, but now don't know. I hate to keep things from her, but I don't need anymore "wood for the worry fire" I have going on my own. She is the type of person who will be offeneded if I don't tell her I am going in, she does watch my kids usually when my Mom can't.

 

[Pembo]

I'm not sure what to say other than Good Luck today.

 

[Ella2]

Good luck with your tests today!

I would simply tell her thank you for the information, but that you would prefer that she not send anything in the future as it upsets you. I'm sure she was trying to be helpful, and hopefully she will understand that if you WANT her to help with more information you'll let her know. If she's a good friend she should want to do what is best for you.

I hope all goes well for you.

 

[mickeyboat]

There are a lot of people (myself included) who, when faced with a problem, gather information as a way to make ourselves feel better. I like to be informed as a way to deal with the situation in an intelligent manner and to keep myself busy. When faced with infertility issues, I spent hours in the internet talking to people, checking out websites, etc. Maybe your friend is that type of person too and she thinks that by giving you this information, she is helping you. You should tell her for future reference that you would rather rely on your doctor and that the information stresses you out. She will invariably find another way to help you.

Good luck to you today. Let us know how we can help.

Denae

 

[Stepharoonie!]

Good luck! Everything will turn out fine today, don't worry

 

[C.Ann]

Sigh....

After my DH was diagnosed with cancer and it returned after all available treatments were exhausted, the same day we learned there was nothing more they could do, my sister-in-law (who I have never liked to begin with) called me on the phone and just started babbling on and on and on about what a "horrible" death my DH was going to suffer - how much "excruciating pain" he would have to endure - how emotionally and financially "devastating" this would be to me personally - etc., etc..

Well - there's no nice way to put it.. I ripped her a new one!!!!

By no means was she trying to be "helpful" - she just thrives on this stuff and I also believe a good part of it was "spite" - which she tried to disguise as "concern"..

Tell your friend "Thanks, but no thanks.. I already have enough to worry about..

Sometimes you REALLY have to wonder - "What were they thinking??"

 

[floridafam]

Even if I had all of that information, I would be pretty bent out of shape if someone sent it to me. Sorry.

Good luck with your tests. I have to have an ultrasound on the 27th for much the same thing.

Let us know how it goes, okay?

Hugs to you

 

[EmmasGrammy]

I would only hope that she was trying to be helpful. My advise is to tell her your aren't intrested in any information except for the information that you will get from the doctor.

It seems when you facing any type of testing, all these friend who like to think they are doctors or experts are much too willing to add their diagnosis or experiences whether asked or not. Ask them to stop and refuse to listen to anything they have to say. Do not let them upset you!! Your doctor or a second opinion doctor are the only ones who know your case. Seek their advice!

Good luck to you with the tests. I will put you on my prayer list. Let us know how it goes!

 

[Serena]

Good luck today Kirsten.

As for your friend. Tell her you know she's trying to help, but it scares you to death when you read all that, and you have enough on your mind. Tell her to please wait until you ask, and then find something in the future to ask her about. Just to make her feel useful.

 

[daughter_of_amid_chaos]

Don't know what to say but just wanted to wish you good luck today!

 

[phamton]

We call that the "Uncle Fred" syndrome on another board I frequent.

Your mother has a stroke, Jane posts about her Uncle Fred who had a stroke and never recovered, drooling and staring until the day he died.

You are pregnant. Kathy's Aunt Freda was in labor 2 weeks and died from complications after giving birth to a baby with severe deformities.

You are getting your wisdom teeth out. Jim's Uncle Fred had his out and couldn't eat solid foods for 6 months and became addicted to the pain medication.

We all have our "Uncle Freds" with horrible stories. Most people do not need or want to hear the horror stories but would rather you give them a hug, wish them luck and prayers, and offer to be there for them if they ever need someone to talk to.

Bev "my Uncle Fred lived to be 98 and died peacefully while he slept" Hamilton

 

[TEENEE]

You could politely take the info from her and tell her you will read it later. Tell her you don't feel like talking about it at that moment and change the subject. She can't make you read it. Deep down I'm sure she is trying to help.

 

[CookieGVB]

Good luck with your test, and with deflecting any more unwanted doomsday information.