Why did you NOT want a c section?

[tripletsmama]

I have a friend who just had a c section and she is devastated. I'm trying to be sympathetic, but I just don't get it. Looking for some insight from others who might have been upset to end up with a c section.

I have triplet daughters. They were a scheduled c section. I had no problems with recovery, never had a contraction, very little pain, just a good experience overall. I also have a 7 month old son. My doctor gave me the option to try delivering him naturally. I did it. I had to have an episiotomy and the pain from that alone was far worse than any c section recovery pain. Not to mention the contractions and the hours and hours of labor! We're not planning on more kids, but if I was going to do it again, I would hands down without a doubt go the c section route.

What am I missing here?

 

[happygirl]

I have a friend who just had a c section and she is devastated. I'm trying to be sympathetic, but I just don't get it. Looking for some insight from others who might have been upset to end up with a c section.

I have triplet daughters. They were a scheduled c section. I had no problems with recovery, never had a contraction, very little pain, just a good experience overall. I also have a 7 month old son. My doctor gave me the option to try delivering him naturally. I did it. I had to have an episiotomy and the pain from that alone was far worse than any c section recovery pain. Not to mention the contractions and the hours and hours of labor! We're not planning on more kids, but if I was going to do it again, I would hands down without a doubt go the c section route.

What am I missing here?

both of my kids were C-section. With my first one I was just scared of surgery in general, second one I wanted a C-section.

 

[LuvinLucifer]

An uncomplicated ******l delivery without interventions typically is easier to recover from. However, I'd take a c-section any day over an induction, episiotomy, or forceps. My mother took years to recover from or assisted "natural" delivery.

I want a waterbirth personally.

 

[robinb]

I did not want to have unnecessary surgery. I think that some hospitals tend to turn toward a C-Section more readily than others so I did use C-Section rate as a criteria for choosing where I gave birth. OF COURSE if I needed to have a C-Section I would have had one. I think that some women get all caught up in how they think things are going to be and then are disappointed when that doesn't happen. IMO, a live healthy baby (or even 3 in your case ) is always a good birth.

 

[RachaelA]

Because many woman do not want to have major abdominal surgery if it can be avoided.

Also emergency c-sections following a long labor (was that what your friend had or was it scheduled?) are completely different then a planned c-section.

An uncomplicated ******l delivery without interventions typically is easier to recover from. However, I'd take a c-section any day over an induction, episiotomy, or forceps. My mother took years to recover from or assisted "natural" delivery.

My induction was seriously the easiest thing ever. Not all inductions are bad like a lot of people make them out to be.

 

[Christine]

I didn't have a C-section but I was terrified of being made to have one if it was unnecessary. If I had a C-section, I don't know if I would have been devastated but I would not have been thrilled with having abdominal surgery.

That said, my coworker's wife had two C-sections and it bothered her for years. She felt like a "failure" when it came to childbirth. Not sure why but I also felt like a "failure" when I could not successfully breastfeed. I don't know where those feelings come from.

 

[maxaroni]

For me it as the fact that we had years of infertility, everything was always so calculated with when, how etc. we had artificial inseminations and all sorts of stuff. When it came time for delivery, if at all possible, I wanted a v delivery. Obviously, if either of us were in distress I'd háček a c section. When I was in labor, the doctor had the room ready in case as he though DS was too big for me to deliver but it all worked out fine

 

[momof1princess]

personally, i just didn't want to have surgery. however, DD15 was stuck in the birth canal-she tried to come out face first, and neither forceps nor suction would remove her, so i had no choice; i had a c-section. full recovery took several weeks, and my incision oozed smelly fluid for a while (which my ob said was normal...not so sure about that! didn't seem normal to me!), but i was just grateful DD and i were both okay.

 

[maxaroni]

I didn't have a C-section but I was terrified of being made to have one if it was unnecessary. If I had a C-section, I don't know if I would have been devastated but I would not have been thrilled with having abdominal surgery.

That said, my coworker's wife had two C-sections and it bothered her for years. She felt like a "failure" when it came to childbirth. Not sure why but I also felt like a "failure" when I could not successfully breastfeed. I don't know where those feelings come from.

I could not suceesfully breast feed either. Felt like a failure. I suppose much of it comes from childbirth classes and no one ever states some women can't. It is always everyone can

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Some people feel robbed of their birthing experience.

There are a lot of slideshows on Youtube dedicated to vbacs that explain how these women feel. I was surprised so many women feel the way your friend does, but I also kind of get it.

A lot of them feel pressured into the surgery. They feel like(and it may be true) that the Dr. didn't take every avenue possible for the baby to be born "naturally". I think I read somewhere that the US has the highest number of c-sections.

 

[susanv]

If we ever have number five I would want a natural (probably induced, I don't seem to go into labour on my own) delivery. Have had two epidurals, one emergency c section, and one natural delivery with laughing gas. The last was by far the easiest. I don't feel like a failure because of the c section. We could have both died otherwise, however I don't take anaesthetic well and the morphine didn't work so I wasn't able to hold my daughter for 24 hours. That really sucked!!!!!!! The recovery from the c section took weeks where with the laughing gas I was up and about the same day. Ever so much better.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

OK, I'm a man, so I obviously don't have any real opinion that matters, but to me, shouldn't the question be:

Why would you WANT a C-section? Birth, after all, is NOT a medical procedure.

 

[HelenePA]

I've had 4 inductions that were nothing less then awesome! There is no way I want to be cut open.. The only way I'd agree to it is if our lives were in danger... thank god it never came to that. *shudder* I was up dancing around my room less than 10 minutes after having my babies and eating normal food as soon as I was back in my room. I went shopping at walmart on the way home from the hospital with #3. There really was no recovery time for me after having a baby I'm darn sure I wouldn't have been able to say that having a c-section. No thank you..

 

[bigbabyblues]

I didn't want one, but I had two of them. Fear of being awake and feeling what was going on was my biggest issue beforehand, but it didn't matter when they lost DS' heartbeat. they couldn't get me numb due to mild scoliosis so they put me under general anesthesia. The second time, it wasn't a scheduled section but not an emergency, and they still couldn't get me numb, although they tried longer.

 

[tripletsmama]

I understand the experience of everything being calculated. I spent years trying to conceive and being told I would never have children. My triplets were not conceived "naturally" and everything during the pregnancy was highly monitored and planned. DS was an absolute surprise! Completely blew us out of the water!!

Anyway, yes, she was in labor for 18 hours before the section. It wasn't scheduled. I know she says she feels like a failure.

Thanks for all the perspectives.

 

[Tinijocaro]

OK, I'm a man, so I obviously don't have any real opinion that matters, but to me, shouldn't the questino be:

Why would you WANT a C-section? Birth, after all, is NOT a medical procedure.

Most sensible post yet.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

If she is devastated, is it more because she feels like her wishes weren't honored? Or that she is a failure as a mother?

I personally am hoping for a c-section. I've had abdominal surgery twice and have known issues with the natural birth equipment (if you know what I'm saying). For me recovering from the abdominal parts have been easier that the other parts.

I KNOW c-sections are major surgeries with risks. But I also know that the women on both sides of my family have had serious damage from natural births and their children have had defects from it to. So since I inherited the same plumbing issues, I think baby and I will be healthier sooner if we don't have to go through natural delivery. But I'm going to try it, and trust that my doctor understand that I want a c-section at the first sign of difficulty.

But I also understand that most women don't feel like I do. They don't do well with surgery. They dont want to risk the recovery time. I respect those reasons and that decision. I even know a woman who has been trying a few home remedies that are risky to the baby she is carrying, because she is so adamant that she will not have a c-section and be away from her other child or unable to chase after her other child while she heals.

there is a lot of pressure to have a natural delivery because "our bodies were designed for it" and "women used to give birth squatting in a field, pick the baby up, and go back to work." I agree to a point. But back when women were giving birth in fields, they didnt have all of the medical intervention we have today, allowing people to get and stay pregnant that otherwise would be unable to. Women like me would have stayed childless or died in childbirth because their individual bodies were not designed for it. So since I'm alive in a time when there is medical intervention available to me, I'm going to take advantage of it.

 

[Bearybear]

For us, my water broke and after 12 hours, I still didn't go into labor. I was finally induced, and with the first contraction, DS's heart rate plummeted. I was minutes from a c-section when it came back up. I was able to deliver ******lly. But if I had to have a c-section to make sure he was born alive, I know I wouldn't have felt anything but relief. My SIL had pre-eclampsia and had an emergency c-section with 15 minutes notice when her BP got dangerously high, and she was so happy to have survived (think Sybil on Downton Abbey) she didn't care.

 

[joviroxx]

Both of mine were C-sections. I will never forget my doctor telling me that you don't get a medal for having a natural birth. Your kids aren't special, it doesn't make you a better mother and both ways create beautiful, healthy children. He told me I did a wonderful job of carrying the child, now its the way of making sure they come into this word in the best way. He also told me that having the child is the easy part, the success of being a mother comes later.

I will never forget that speech and I have repeated it often. Giving birth is about having a successful delivery, succcess isn't in the manner.

 

[dogluva]

I have a friend who just had a c section and she is devastated. I'm trying to be sympathetic, but I just don't get it. Looking for some insight from others who might have been upset to end up with a c section.

I have triplet daughters. They were a scheduled c section. I had no problems with recovery, never had a contraction, very little pain, just a good experience overall. I also have a 7 month old son. My doctor gave me the option to try delivering him naturally. I did it. I had to have an episiotomy and the pain from that alone was far worse than any c section recovery pain. Not to mention the contractions and the hours and hours of labor! We're not planning on more kids, but if I was going to do it again, I would hands down without a doubt go the c section route.

What am I missing here?

I have had two natural and four c sections. The recovery for the sections was so much longer-I don't even think its comparable. However, they did get easier. My first was an emergency and I had back labor for three hours. It was tough. The next was going to be a v back but my son was 10 days late and they would not induce me. The last two were planned and much easier. In fact, I walked the night I had my last one . With my first they had to drag me out of bed 24 hours later screaming and crying. I thought my insides were falling out. Anyway, they all ended up healthy so that is all that matters.

Funny, I don't remember the labor pains as much as I remember the gas pains after my c- sections. The gas pain is the worst.