Why did you get a divorce?

[TLC371]

My BF is divorced. His ex-wife had a baby at 14, then met him and got pregnant when she was 16. They got married, he adopted her first child, they had the baby when she was 16 and another when she was 20. She felt like she missed out on her childhood by having babies, started partying and running around. She was cheating on him found someone she liked better and married that guy a day after their divorce was final....she's a real piece of work....

 

[Ranatra]

We married too young and too quick. Dating 4 months isn't long enough to make that kind of life decision. 8 years and 3 kids later we divorced. It ended up being a pretty civil divorce. He was a great Father and continued to be so. I remarried 8 years ago (after dating him for 7 years!) my high school crush and we are very happy. My children's father has always been welcome in our home and we've been known to have him and his father to Christmas dinner.

 

[nottatroll]

To the OP... can you explain more about whats going on that would make you consider divorce?

For one he's a drinker, started drinking heavy a few years ago after not drinking much for our first years together. He accuses me of things i haven't done. He wrote me a letter recently saying he knew I was in love with someone else ( a doctor I was going to at the time )so he began to tell me about a person he was in love with.

So our life together has been going downhill fast and finally I woke up one morning deciding our marriage couldnt be saved.

He lies constantly over even the littlest things.

to you DISers for sharing some of your most hurtful moments

 

[MickeysMommy]

to everyone here.

My Ex-Husband was controlling, verbally and emotionally abusive. And, as they all do, they do it so everyone laughs like they are making a joke but slowly its ripping you apart. Sometimes, I wish he had just hit me so everyone could see how it really was. I was 19 when we started dating, 22 when we were married and 27 when we divorced. He moved his girlfriend into MY house 3 months after I moved out without us seeing lawyers etc. Now, looking back on all this, I realized that I was never really in love with him, it was just the next step in our relationship.

My mother once told me that she heard a therapist telling someone on a show that divorces are worse that when the spouse dies. With a divorce you have the chance of seeing the other person all the time (in my case we work 1 mile apart and I am constantly hearing about him) where when your spouse dies, however horrific it may be for you, you can move on at some point. My jerk or ******* as I like to call him still has a hold on me in certain aspects.

He's getting married in December, I hope they have a wonderful honeymoon in hell.

 

[jx3smom]

Lots of reasons! He lied constantly, always put everyone down especially me. We were married almost 5 years when DS was born and I got pregnant 6 months later. He was cheating and moved his girl friend in the house while I was in the hospital having a 9 weeks premature baby. That was over 24 years ago and the best thing that ever happened to me (not the premature birth). My boys and I were fine and when they were 3 and 4 I met my DH and he has been the best dad and husband anyone could ask for. We have a DS together but all three are his sons.

 

[Disney Doll]

Wow!!! I am amazed at some of these stories.

And Conversationalist, it so happens that most of the folks who have replied to this thread have been women, which is why it seems like more ex-H's are being bashed than ex-W's. However, we all know that sometimes it is the wife that is no good.

A friend's brother has a wife who is lazy, doesn't work, doesn't care for her family etc. They have a child with some disabilities, so he is biding his time until he can take his son and leave. Unfortunately, good dads usually don't get custody.Our court system is such that custody usually still goes to the mother, even if she is not the better parent.

Feel better now that I told you a story about a lousy wife?

 

[vettechick99]

Never should have married him in the first place...I stupidly "settled", didn't wait for the right person.

Same here. He was my best friend and it shoud have stayed that way.

 

[totalia]

I'm so sorry to hear that. Drinking ruins lives. I don't know why it gets treated so lightly with most of the population.

I really do wish you the best of luck. I know this is going to be a painful time for you but in the end, whichever route you take, you will be ok.

 

[Catzeyes]

I have watched this thread since yesterday not sure if I would post or not. My expierence is very different from all who have posted so far. I married my ex when he was 24 and I was 31. It started off fine for the first few years. However as time passed we started to realize a bunch of weird things. We grew very close as friends and further apart as lovers. All the intimacy in our marrige ended up being holding hands and deep talks. As we grew farther apart in the ways a husband and wife should be we grew closer as friends. In fall of 2001 I had to have some pretty major heart surgery. Recovering from that was really hard on me and I had to take a really hard look at my life. We talked long and hard and realized that while he was my best friend we had ceased being husband a wife a long time ago so we divorced. He is still one of my best friends and always will be. He came to my wedding and handed me off to my son for the walk down the aisle. Actually my current husband and he have become close friends. He will always have a very special place in my heart, we tried and realized that in our case the friendship worked far better then being married.

 

[lil mermaid]

Same here. He was my best friend and it shoud have stayed that way.

You and LuvWinnie took the words right out of my mouth!!

 

[goofygirl]

I have never been married, but I can relay some stories of people around me:

Friends that married at 21: She grew up, he didn't (still liked to party), spilt after 10 years.

my uncle found his first wife in bed with a woman after 5 years of marriage.

Friends of mine: couldn't agree on kids. He wanted them, she didn't. Split after 7 years.

A neighbor of mine was a tall, thin model. Her husband left her for an older, heavy woman! I think they were married at least 10-15 years.

Cousin- marriage ended after 7 years because "the spark was never there."

 

[mommystieg]

I realized one day at dinner with the ex in-laws that I was going to end up just like them. The ex was kinda controlling and could be verbally abusive. The straw that broke the camel's back was his insensitivity to our attempts to conceive. He once told me that I hated everyone because I couldn't get pregnant. Guess he was wrong (see photo below)
Like some other posters have said -- I am stronger, better person now and have a wonderful husband

 

[GillieRose]

I'm not divorced but my brother just got divorced. The reason was she left him and his 2 daughters because she felt trapped. (well that what she said) But a week later she moved in with another man that she had already renting a house with. There is much more to the story that's the short version.