Why did Arnold confess?

[Disney Doll]

I will never understand why men who are MARRIED and made a COMMITMENT to THEIR WIVES would CHEAT Stay single if you can't remain faithful. I'm sure some of us WOMEN are also capable of being the next catch too, we just CHOOSE not to because we took a vow. I think it's pretty sad that if a man strays, the wife is expected to stay and take it but if the shoe was on the other foot, he would be gone in a instant.

I'll never understand why people who are married cheat. I, unfortunately, have known jsut as many cheating wives as I have husbands.

Frankly, I never expect anyone to stay with a cheating spouse. If the person chooses to stay with a cheating spouse, well, then that's their decision. My advice would generally be to leave. A leopard doesn't change its spots.

 

[SaraJayne]

I heard that Arnold was financially supporting the mom and the child all these years. He and Maria had separate financial accounts, so he was pulling money out of his accounts, and Maria would not have seen/known that.

Again, why are you trying to put this on Maria? Arnold is the one who had the affair, NOT Maria. I seriously doubt that you know what kind of person she is, unless you know her personally.

It's been said he's worth $300 million and Maria $100 million. When he's dealing with that amount of money (well, his managers are, I guess ) no one would notice the "crumbs" he'd be throwing to the mother of his illegitimate child.

 

[NaLisa]

I don't get this line of thinking either. Maria probably made a decision based on the information that she was provided at that time.

If I choose to cheat tonight, that is my choice, and in no way, shape or form, will I blame my husband. That decision rests with me.

It really bothers me that people are trying to analyze what kind of woman she is. Clearly, she is a strong woman who believes in her family, since she has uprooted a 25 year marriage and 4 children, all because her husband has personal issues.

No one can ever truly know about a marital relationship, except the 2 people who are in that relationship, Tiger

Arnold had been sexually inappropriate with women in the past. He admitted it, and Maria still denied it (to herself and the world). Doesn't mean she deserves this upheaval in her life or to be cheated on, but she can't truthfully say that she was blindsided when the man she married turned out to lack sexual boundaries.

 

[bumbershoot]

I hope that little boy gets what is due to him now: A nice hefty child support check and perhaps some quality time with dad.

I imagine that there's been money for a long time.

I've heard many times that courts will make sure a minor child is provided for when there's a divorce, even if the ex-husband is not the bio-dad. So the husband will be responsible for child support. However, in articles I've seen that her husband was NOT made responsible for child support.

That makes me think *someone else* was paying helping to support the boy and there was some way to prove it, because otherwise from what I've heard the courts would have made sure there was support from the ex-husband.

(note: most of "what I've heard" about the CA courts has come from Tom Leykus, LOL, and he's generally erring on the side of not having a chance of being tapped for child support...I choose to believe what he says about that...others might not...but it makes sense to me that a court would want the child to have support and not leave the child high and dry)

 

[ols386]

Not putting in on Maria at all. Arnold is the trash here (although I do not know him personally). He is the one that cheated.

Patty, well, I don’t know. She could have been sexually assaulted like the other women in the story I linked. Maybe she was poor and didn’t have the nerve (or the money) to leave. Maybe she is a genuine prostitute that did this all for the money. Who knows.

I put 100% of it onto Arnold.

As far as the “Poor Maria” angle. Bleh. I really don’t have sympathy for Maria. She rolled her eyes at the women in the stories that I linked. That’s the kind of person she is She has enabled and supported her hubby’s bad behavior for years.

I feel sorry for all of the children involved. Nobody else.

I still feel that Maria could have just plain been in denial about the other women in the stories, so I don't necessarily see her as "that kind of person", but of course, I don't know her either.

 

[ols386]

It's been said he's worth $300 million and Maria $100 million. When he's dealing with that amount of money (well, his managers are, I guess ) no one would notice the "crumbs" he'd be throwing to the mother of his illegitimate child.

Yep, I agree. Would be hard to notice, when you're talking about that kind of money.

 

[Tiger926]

Arnold had been sexually inappropriate with women in the past. He admitted it, and Maria still denied it (to herself and the world). Doesn't mean she deserves this upheaval in her life or to be cheated on, but she can't truthfully say that she was blindsided when the man she married turned out to lack sexual boundaries.

Been sick for days, so all info is starting to blend together. Was he found criminally guilty of inappropriate behaviour? Was it befoore or during their marriage? Did he admit that he did grope those women? I can't read the entire article link, as my sinus headache is permitting me from doing that. Sorry if it's already been mentioned.

No one will really know what Maria felt or what negotiations her and Arnold worked out. If she did support him and he was guilty through a court, then that is not cool, as it does show a pattern, that she would not be able to ignore. Some women do stay in the hopes that hubby won't do it again. None of us know what stipulations they had within their marriage.

I am sure some of that will come out now though, as she has hired a divorce attorney, and when you are talking about hundreds of millions of dollars and multiple properties, cars, etc., if this does end in divorce, it will be a biggie.

Tiger

 

[NaLisa]

Been sick for days, so all info is starting to blend together. Was he found criminally guilty of inappropriate behaviour? Was it befoore or during their marriage? Did he admit that he did grope those women? I can't read the entire article link, as my sinus headache is permitting me from doing that. Sorry if it's already been mentioned.

No one will really know what Maria felt or what negotiations her and Arnold worked out. If she did support him and he was guilty through a court, then that is not cool, as it does show a pattern, that she would not be able to ignore. Some women do stay in the hopes that hubby won't do it again. None of us know what stipulations they had within their marriage.

I am sure some of that will come out now though, as she has hired a divorce attorney, and when you are talking about hundreds of millions of dollars and multiple properties, cars, etc., if this does end in divorce, it will be a biggie.

Tiger

Before being elected governor, several women came forth and said Arnold had groped them on movie sets, in business offices, etc. He vehemently denied it for a long time (saying his political opponents fabrciated the charges in a smear campaign), but when more and more women came forward (about 15 total, I think), he finally admitted that he had "behaved badly" in the past. I think everyone gave him a pass because they felt like eh, he was a movie actor, living a movie star life and it was long ago. But he was married to Maria when he was groping those some of those women, and I believe the last case was in 2000, so it wasn't that far in his past in 2003.

Maria defended him, said he wasn't a bad person, that she knew her husband, and so on. After first calling all those women liars, they just discounted the seriousness of Arnold grabbing women's breasts and buttocks without the consent of those women. So he basically admitted that he groped women, and Maria didn't think it was indicative of his "character."

I wonder if she's changed her mind.

ETA: I don't believe any of the women who were groped filed civil or criminal cases against Arnold, so they weren't after his money.

 

[ols386]

I imagine that there's been money for a long time.

I've heard many times that courts will make sure a minor child is provided for when there's a divorce, even if the ex-husband is not the bio-dad. So the husband will be responsible for child support. However, in articles I've seen that her husband was NOT made responsible for child support.

That makes me think *someone else* was paying helping to support the boy and there was some way to prove it, because otherwise from what I've heard the courts would have made sure there was support from the ex-husband.

(note: most of "what I've heard" about the CA courts has come from Tom Leykus, LOL, and he's generally erring on the side of not having a chance of being tapped for child support...I choose to believe what he says about that...others might not...but it makes sense to me that a court would want the child to have support and not leave the child high and dry)

They've already said on the news reports that Arnold was taking care of the mother and son financially.

 

[ols386]

Arnold had been sexually inappropriate with women in the past. He admitted it, and Maria still denied it (to herself and the world). Doesn't mean she deserves this upheaval in her life or to be cheated on, but she can't truthfully say that she was blindsided when the man she married turned out to lack sexual boundaries.

Has she stated that she was blindsided?

 

[NaLisa]

Has she stated that she was blindsided?

That was in reference to this quote from a PP: "I don't get this line of thinking either. Maria probably made a decision based on the information that she was provided at that time."

The information that she was provided was that 15 different women had accused her husband of inappropriate and unwanted sexual behavior. Maybe she believed all 15 of those women lied, or she didn't think it was that big of a deal that her husband treated women that way.

I'm not saying that it's Maria's fault her husband cheated on her, just that there were plenty of prior indications that her husband wasn't the upstanding, moral person she and he led people to believe.

 

[ols386]

That was in reference to this quote from a PP: "I don't get this line of thinking either. Maria probably made a decision based on the information that she was provided at that time."

The information that she was provided was that 15 different women had accused her husband of inappropriate and unwanted sexual behavior. Maybe she believed all 15 of those women lied, or she didn't think it was that big of a deal that her husband treated women that way.

I'm not saying that it's Maria's fault her husband cheated on her, just that there were plenty of prior indications that her husband wasn't the upstanding, moral person she and he led people to believe.

Well, hopefully, she has now seen the light. I would hope that she will not reconcile with him. She needs to move on with her own life. I think that's what she will do. And I do believe that she will be as supportive as possible of her children and what they are going through now, and will continue to go through for awhile.

 

[Tiger926]

Before being elected governor, several women came forth and said Arnold had groped them on movie sets, in business offices, etc. He vehemently denied it for a long time (saying his political opponents fabrciated the charges in a smear campaign), but when more and more women came forward (about 15 total, I think), he finally admitted that he had "behaved badly" in the past. I think everyone gave him a pass because they felt like eh, he was a movie actor, living a movie star life and it was long ago. But he was married to Maria when he was groping those some of those women, and I believe the last case was in 2000, so it wasn't that far in his past in 2003.

Maria defended him, said he wasn't a bad person, that she knew her husband, and so on. After first calling all those women liars, they just discounted the seriousness of Arnold grabbing women's breasts and buttocks without the consent of those women. So he basically admitted that he groped women, and Maria didn't think it was indicative of his "character."

I wonder if she's changed her mind.

ETA: I don't believe any of the women who were groped filed civil or criminal cases against Arnold, so they weren't after his money.

Thanks for explantion. I do remember reading about such things, but could not for the life of me remember what happened with it. Not sure why none of them filed suit against him? Perhaps he paid them off?

If this is indeed true, then Maria had to know something was amiss. I still stand by the ascertation that no one can truly know what is going on inside of a relationship except the two people who are in it.

Not sure what is going to come of this, but after 35 years together, she has been with him more than half of her life. I have to imagine there is a huge grieving process that comes with ending a 25 year marriage, if indeed she goes that route.

My thoughts are with those kids, who didn't ask for any of it, including the out of wedlock son.

Tiger

 

[Imzadi]

ETA: I don't believe any of the women who were groped filed civil or criminal cases against Arnold, so they weren't after his money.

Thanks for explantion. I do remember reading about such things, but could not for the life of me remember what happened with it. Not sure why none of them filed suit against him? Perhaps he paid them off?

Probably none of them filed suit because there wasn't enough evidence. How does one prove a grope, unless the guy left a slimy, muddy hand print with DNA or fingerprints?

Also, they probably didn't file suit or go after money purposely to show credibility to their cause, that he didn't have the ethics to become governor.

Decades ago, Anita Hill came forward with sexual harassment allegations against Clarence Thomas, who was up for Supreme Court Nominations. As far as I know, she never sued for money. Her coming forward wasn't about that. Unfortunately, back then, as in Arnold's case, not enough people believed her. In fact, back then, SHE was the one slandered & dragged through the media in a bad light. It's hard to prove sexual harassment, and harder to get people who want to believe it.



People keep saying Why didn't Maria know or see it? Some psychologist on a TV interview said she grew up with brothers & cousins & uncles who were the "bad boys,", philanderers, and a bit wild & dangerous, and probably a little disrespectful in how they treat women overall. That was her environment, what she was used to, what she had known. She never really would have been attracted to a mundane, safe, bookworm type. Arnold, in a lot of ways fit into the kind of men she was used to. Unfortunately, he turned out to be a sexual cheat, too. She didn't escape it after all.

I think Arnold married her for one overriding reason: She is a Kennedy. They are our American "royalty." (Whether you like them or not.) That is what that family symbolizes. He has wanted for decades to be an American, go after many of the American dreams, win and be #1 in the world at stuff. He was the #1 bodybuilder, then #1 at the box office for movies. No WAY he didn't have political ambitions when he first met her. He's too egotistical and narcissistic. he is all about ambition. He wants to take over the WORLD. He's joked and admitted many times, he'd wish the U.S. would change the laws and allow people not born here be allowed to run for president. He'd do that in a heartbeat, no regard for Maria's wishes.

Since that couldn't happen, what better topper to his life's ambitions than to be a part of THAT particular family America's #1 "royal family." Since it was unlikely he could ever be governor back then, marrying a Kennedy was the closest he could get to Camelot and that family. As much as he loved Maria, he loved what she was a part of.

(Likewise, Lisa Marie Presley, in an interview with Oprah, realized in hindsight, that Michael Jackson, had always had an obsession with Elvis. If he could have, he would have had kids with her, to seal that obsession, of having the off-spring of Elvis. Marrying her was the closest he could get to Elvis.

Also, as much as Princess Diana loved Charles at the beginning, she loved Charles because he was a prince.)

Maria has always said she never wanted a man in politics. He didn't listen or respect her wishes on that. That was never part of Arnold's goals. Arnold is a long time planner and goal-setter. He sets his goals far into the future. He got to marry into the Kennedy family and what that symbolized for him, and when he had the chance, of course, he went for the governorship. Maria being a Kennedy and standing by her man through the groping allegations helped him win.

Am I the only one who can see this through line in all of this?

 

[jp24]

My experience has been that a guy only confesses when someone's about to blow the whistle on him.

 

[ols386]

Probably none of them filed suit because there wasn't enough evidence.

That's probably true.

 

[LuvOrlando]

post 18

Well, reportedly his wife and baby mama were pregnant at the same time so he didn't exactly have time to get snipped.

I suppose this is true, still to think he didn't even think to take preventative measures is beyond me.

post 19

So you condone cheating ?

Marveling at stupidity is not the same as condoning a behavior... at least not in my head.

post 20

Or put a "sock" on it. Like Mel Gibson has that kid with his ex-GF who he now claims is squeezing him for money. Well, DUH! He's rich and her child will now be paid for till 18.




That is not what she said. Men who decide to cheat will do it whether anyone condones it or not. It doesn't matter what LuvOrlando's opinion is. Since they ARE cheating, they should really have more brains about it. Too many people got hurt in Arnold's case.

Thanks, I agree, he also risked HIV to his wife so after the snipping a sock as a second measure would be a good decision, especially since a woman having his child is like a lotto ticket.

Thanks for the second comment too, what ferris198 said was light years from what I was thinking, and what I believe.

post 23

I will never understand why men who are MARRIED and made a COMMITMENT to THEIR WIVES would CHEAT Stay single if you can't remain faithful. I'm sure some of us WOMEN are also capable of being the next catch too, we just CHOOSE not to because we took a vow. I think it's pretty sad that if a man strays, the wife is expected to stay and take it but if the shoe was on the other foot, he would be gone in a instant.

Frankly, I don't think it's ok to cheat in any kind of monogamous relationship, whether married or in some other variation. Some couples decide to be life partners who never actually have a legally binding relationship but there should be moral constraints. Even if they are in temporary situations it's a vile thing to do.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Probably none of them filed suit because there wasn't enough evidence. How does one prove a grope, unless the guy left a slimy, muddy hand print with DNA or fingerprints?

Also, they probably didn't file suit or go after money purposely to show credibility to their cause, that he didn't have the ethics to become governor.

Decades ago, Anita Hill came forward with sexual harassment allegations against Clarence Thomas, who was up for Supreme Court Nominations. As far as I know, she never sued for money. Her coming forward wasn't about that. Unfortunately, back then, as in Arnold's case, not enough people believed her. In fact, back then, SHE was the one slandered & dragged through the media in a bad light. It's hard to prove sexual harassment, and harder to get people who want to believe it.



People keep saying Why didn't Maria know or see it? Some psychologist on a TV interview said she grew up with brothers & cousins & uncles who were the "bad boys,", philanderers, and a bit wild & dangerous, and probably a little disrespectful in how they treat women overall. That was her environment, what she was used to, what she had known. She never really would have been attracted to a mundane, safe, bookworm type. Arnold, in a lot of ways fit into the kind of men she was used to. Unfortunately, he turned out to be a sexual cheat, too. She didn't escape it after all.

I think Arnold married her for one overriding reason: She is a Kennedy. They are our American "royalty." (Whether you like them or not.) That is what that family symbolizes. He has wanted for decades to be an American, go after many of the American dreams, win and be #1 in the world at stuff. He was the #1 bodybuilder, then #1 at the box office for movies. No WAY he didn't have political ambitions when he first met her. He's too egotistical and narcissistic. he is all about ambition. He wants to take over the WORLD. He's joked and admitted many times, he'd wish the U.S. would change the laws and allow people not born here be allowed to run for president. He'd do that in a heartbeat, no regard for Maria's wishes.

Since that couldn't happen, what better topper to his life's ambitions than to be a part of THAT particular family America's #1 "royal family." Since it was unlikely he could ever be governor back then, marrying a Kennedy was the closest he could get to Camelot and that family. As much as he loved Maria, he loved what she was a part of.

(Likewise, Lisa Marie Presley, in an interview with Oprah, realized in hindsight, that Michael Jackson, had always had an obsession with Elvis. If he could have, he would have had kids with her, to seal that obsession, of having the off-spring of Elvis. Marrying her was the closest he could get to Elvis.

Also, as much as Princess Diana loved Charles at the beginning, she loved Charles because he was a prince.)

Maria has always said she never wanted a man in politics. He didn't listen or respect her wishes on that. That was never part of Arnold's goals. Arnold is a long time planner and goal-setter. He sets his goals far into the future. He got to marry into the Kennedy family and what that symbolized for him, and when he had the chance, of course, he went for the governorship. Maria being a Kennedy and standing by her man through the groping allegations helped him win.

Am I the only one who can see this through line in all of this?

We all do it actually. We have this "image" or perception of how "it" is supposed to be whether it is good or bad or boring as heck.

Some people have a laundry list of what they want with politics, religion, appearance, etc....

 

[ols386]

I suppose this is true, still to think he didn't even think to take preventative measures is beyond me.

Yes. It's incredibly irresponsible.

 

[Cat0727]

My experience has been that a guy only confesses when someone's about to blow the whistle on him.

I think so, too. The lady was probably about to come out with the story since his governer's term is ending.