Who wants to discuss their long distance relationships?

[MagiKitty]

tmli....thanks so much for sharing your story! Its so true, its harder to find those LDR stories with happy endings. But I do know they're out there! You've given me strength in knowing what I'm doing isn't THAT crazy, and that never to take happiness for granted. If you find it, in whatever form, you hold on to it!

 

[MaryD73]

This is a great topic and very timely in my case.

I met someone from the Disboards a little over a year ago (hey sweetie ). He is from Buffalo and I am from Houston. After many WDW trips and visits later we got married a little over a week ago on May 3rd. In fact we just returned from our WDW honeymoon (which I highly recommend to everyone) just yesterday. Unfortunately we did not return to the same place. My DH cannot move until July due to many things. So I have gone from a LDR to a LDM.

It is hard but we are now in the home stretch and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. And after the initial "you met him on the internet?" shock wore off our families and friends have been nothing but supportive.

I guess my story ends with... everyone takes different roads to find their special someone and I could never have imagined the one I took until I was on it. I am so glad I took that chance.

My best wishes go out to all the LDRs.

 

[DisneydaveCT]

This is a great topic and very timely in my case.

I met someone from the Disboards a little over a year ago (hey sweetie ). He is from Buffalo and I am from Houston. After many WDW trips and visits later we got married a little over a week ago on May 3rd. In fact we just returned from our WDW honeymoon (which I highly recommend to everyone) just yesterday. Unfortunately we did not return to the same place. My DH cannot move until July due to many things. So I have gone from a LDR to a LDM.

It is hard but we are now in the home stretch and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. And after the initial "you met him on the internet?" shock wore off our families and friends have been nothing but supportive.

I guess my story ends with... everyone takes different roads to find their special someone and I could never have imagined the one I took until I was on it. I am so glad I took that chance.

My best wishes go out to all the LDRs.

That is a great post about true love. Congratulations on your marriage and good luck with your brief LDM.

 

[MagiKitty]

Congrats MaryD73! I hope you had a wonderful Disneymoon! Here's some ixiedust: for your marriage!

 

[fall08CP]

I'm in an LDR too! No one here seems to understand it
We've been dating for 5.5 years and still going strong. I'm in the US (moving to Lake Buena Vista on Sunday!!) and he's in Australia. But you know what? He's amazing. The distance is far, and it's been quite some time since we've been together, but I will not let any other woman take him from me That's right- he's all mine! haha. One day he'll make the big leap, but we're still young (20+22) and taking it slow.

 

[Clifton]

It would be nice to try out LDR's. Let's just say it could be less stressful then a local couterpart. Though i'm single, I'm afraid to be hurt if something bad happens in a local relationship. So being single makes me free of that part but wouldn't mind experiencing the "Long" type.

 

[sand2270]

Hmm...I think the easiest thing about it not working out would be that you wouldn't really have to worry about accidentally running into the person,etc. In my case that doesn't matter, since my BF travels here to do work for my company (which is how we met). Also I am already used to not having him around so it wouldn't be like a person is around all the time and than all of a sudden isn't.

As far as it being easier otherwise I personally have to say it wouldn't be. Even though this is the first time I have been in a long distance relationship, this is also the most intense, loving, amazing relationship I have even been in. If it were to end, I know I would personally feel a sadness and emptiness I have probably never felt before.

Let me put it this way. I am divorced. The ending to my divorce would be a cake walk compared to the feelings I would experience if my long distance relationship ended (granted I was the one who left the marriage). I guess that also helps explain why I am in this relationship. I never had feelings comparable in my marriage to my relationship with my boyfriend, which again is the reason I am willing to do a long distance relationship.

As far as being hurt, I really try to view everything as a learning experience. Getting hurt sucks. But I also always realize down the road that I learned something. A lot of those hurt experiences for me helped lead me to my boyfriend. There can also be positive results. My DD8 asked me the other night if I loved my BF more than her father. I told her I did, but I also told her that I have no regrets about being with her father (and believe me I could have a lot, it was not a good relationship). But the reason I have no regrets I told her was because it produced her and she is the best thing in my life and she is who she is because of me being with her father. So I wouldn't change a thing. That put a big, embarrassed smile on her face.

 

[sand2270]

Let me add one more thing. Different relationships have different types of stress. Believe me LDR's are hard and they are stressful. What I think makes them work is if the 2 people really love each other and are committed to make it work.

But it has it share of stresses. My BF went to Tokyo for 10 months last year. While I went out twice to see him that was 9 plus months of not seeing him. Of not touching him, kissing him, cuddling on the couch with him, etc, etc. I have to honestly say it sucked big time...but we got through it and it made us stronger. Now there have also been conversations about what are we doing, are we crazy to try and make this work, lots of tears, etc. However we always come of out of it knowing we want to be together and doing what we can to make it work.

Any relationship has stresses, whether it is local or LDR. What is important is how you communicate and manage those stresses.

 

[sand2270]

Thank you all for listening (reading) my Saturday morning lecture LOL.

 

[MagiKitty]

Sand, I totally agree with you. A relationship depends on each other's commitment to making it work and to communication. I hadn't completely ruled out an ADR before, but it definitely had some getting used to. And of course, there was the panic of what am I doing? This is crazy! But honestly, I haven't been happier in my life and am so looking forward to that day when we're no longer LD. But until then, I'm as happy as a clam with my far away sweetie. You really don't know what you're capable of until you try.

 

[wdwtheplacetobe]

Like tmli....we met on the dis and got to know each other as friends on dismates.

Between IL and TX..."you can't get there from here" ....not very easily anyway. It was 5 hours and 2 plane rides at least, so we met in WDW for dates, too.

We had (and still do sometimes) the "you met online???"

Went thru all the times that the most important number is the countdown to the next time you touch each other, but it forced us to get to know each other REALLY well.

We met in person for the first time at the Magical Express desk at MCO.

We were married on 10/10/07 at the Wedding Pavilion in WDW.

Because of our job situations, I moved to IL.

We just returned from yet ANOTHER dis couple's wedding this past weekend....she can tell her story after their Disneymoon.

 

[SweetAmy31]

Hi! Mind if i join your convo?
I am currently in a long distance relationship for almost a year with a great guy i have tons in common with that i met on myspace. Its only an hour away from each other, but as both being single parents its hard. I thought it would all work out eventually but right before i left for my first trip to Disney, 2 weeks ago, he dropped the bomb. He told me we have no future. He'll never move here and even thou we originally agreed I'd move 3/4 the way there, and he'd meet me the last 4th, hes now decided since his daughter starts kindergarten in September he'll never move. So its ok for my kids to move 45 min but her not move 15 min? I was pissed but let it slide, cause nothing was going to ruin my trip.

We chatted a little via txt while i was away and talked a couple of times but now that I'm home, i dont know what to do. Should i bring it up? Should i just dump him and move on? Is he just freaking out cause of his own issues?

Please a little advice here would be great!

 

[MagiKitty]

wdwtheplacetobe...what a wonderfully inspiring story! Thank you for sharing with us. I'm so happy for you both!

Sweetamy....I am so sorry for what happened to you these last few weeks. Let me just say I would KILL to have my BF only an hour away. In my opinion, an hour really is not that big of a commute for either of you. For your BF to say that he won't move 15 minutes is just crazy, an excuse. I don't have children, so I can't judge how difficult it must be. You should bring it up, you have every right to as part of the relationship. I would try to find out if the distance is really at issue here. You have a year invested with this person, if you are going to break up, the reasons should be clear to both of you. You both deserve that respect.

And yes, moving 15 minutes is definitely not too much to ask. It may take some juggling on both your parts, but the assumption is that the moving is for a better future for everyone involved. September is months away, if you truly want to work out the best scenario, there's no reason to make rash judgements on either behalf.

I also think he is a pooty-head for springing it up on you while you're on vacation. Sorry, but it wasn't fair to you.

 

[CoMickey]

Hi all -

Glad to see all of you here and to hear about your LDR and know there are others like me going through the same feelings and adventures!

I am in CA now for two weeks with my DBF...so happy to be with him! We spent the weekend in PHX for my DD's BD and they finally met. Went really well!

I agree that although the distance makes it challanging I have never been happier in a relationship. We are perfect for each other...not perfect by any means but perfect for each other! I have dated locally (and was almost involved in one other LDR) over the past 5 years since my divorce and I never knew I could be this happy...long distance or otherwise!

We'll be celebrating our 1 year anniversary in WDW in July! (For those of you who do not know our story, we met at WDW during July 4th weekend last year...totally unexpectedly and if anyone would like to know the whole story please PM me and I'd be happy to share!!)

I am looking forward to the end of the distance which it looks like will be this Sept!! It is a big decision to move from a state that I have lived all of my life but to be with the love of my life I am willing to move anywhere and hey...who can complain...no more shoveling snow!

Hello to WDW and tmli - who I have 'known' and followed their wonderful stories from the beginning on the Singles Thread...so happy for all of you and your happy endings!

Pixie dust for those who needs it!

 

[sand2270]

wdwtheplacetobe...what a wonderfully inspiring story! Thank you for sharing with us. I'm so happy for you both!

Sweetamy....I am so sorry for what happened to you these last few weeks. Let me just say I would KILL to have my BF only an hour away. In my opinion, an hour really is not that big of a commute for either of you. For your BF to say that he won't move 15 minutes is just crazy, an excuse. I don't have children, so I can't judge how difficult it must be. You should bring it up, you have every right to as part of the relationship. I would try to find out if the distance is really at issue here. You have a year invested with this person, if you are going to break up, the reasons should be clear to both of you. You both deserve that respect.

And yes, moving 15 minutes is definitely not too much to ask. It may take some juggling on both your parts, but the assumption is that the moving is for a better future for everyone involved. September is months away, if you truly want to work out the best scenario, there's no reason to make rash judgements on either behalf.

I agree, I would also kill for an hour. I am a little confused though, is it that he doesn't want to change her school? I am trying to understand what would keep someone from moving, what it sounds like in this case, across town?

I think him saying you have no future is a pretty clear signal that he is not vested in this relationship, but I agree you need to have a serious, honest conversation. I don't mean to be harsh, but do you really want to be with someone who isn't willing to make a relationship with minimal distance work?

After my divorce and my many bad attempts at relationships I finally realized one thing. I was done playing games. If a man was not going to show me he wanted to be with me than why was I wasting my time. No sooner had I adopted this philosophy than I met my BF and he asked me out...and I did something I rarely do with someone I think I might be interested...I said no.

We met when we were out with my friends, he was working with one of my friends and she invited him. We instantly hit it off and chatted the whole night and he asked me to go to dinner the next day. I said we had been drinking and said no. He asked again so I said if you remember to contact me tomorrow maybe. Well 10am the next day there is an email in my inbox that says "I remembered...what are you doing for dinner?". We have been together since. And you know what, he says my saying no is what intrigued him even more...funny how that works. But I want to caution, I was not playing games, I really was in a state of mind where I did not feel like bothering (I had played the "meet the guy he asks you out and than never calls" game too many times) and I meant it when I said no. I also said I wasn't wasting my time on anyone who did not really show they wanted to be with me. He showed he wanted to be with me.

Men on this string, please don't take this as man-bashing, I am simply giving my story. I am so worried that people will take something wrong and start yelling at me Don't waste your time on someone who doesn't really want to be with you because there is probably someone out there who does. It is worth waiting.

 

[sand2270]

boy I really tend to ramble on don't I? Please let me know if you are getting sick of me.

 

[SweetAmy31]

Thanks for the advice and your own stories.
Yes, i guess he and I should have a serious talk.
The weird thing is when we are together every things great , its just when we're apart, its like a fell off the face of the planet to him . I get a txt msg every morning and thats the end of it. If i dont call, I dont get to talk to him, he wont call me, he wont make any effort. It wasnt always like this. Its only been the last few weeks which is why im so puzzled and not getting any answers. He avoids answering me or just says i dont wanna talk about it right now.
And I completely agree, an hour isnt that bad. With the cost of gas these days its hard for week day visits but we see each other almost every weekend. Its actually quite comfy for me since I'm a very independent single mom who thinks she can do it all on her own. I like not having to worry about someone else, after all i have enough to do.
If we break-up thou, my kids and I will take it badly. This will be the second time we've had a man come into our lives and then just walk away with no answers. Its not fair to put them through this again. And I really will miss his daughter. I love her and I loved finally having a girl to do girl things with. My boys dont like to play dress up.
Thanks again for the advice, I'll keep you all updated.

Oh and congrats to WDWtheplacetobe and MaryD73! I'm happy to know there are happy endings out there! I love hearing stories like yours, they inspire me to keep being strong and not give up.

 

[onecutemoocow]

New to this thread. I just saw singles and never went into it. But tonight I wanted to look and see what was here. So I am in a LDR with DBF of almost 2 years. We live 120 miles (2hours) apart. Plus there is also a huge age difference between us, HUGE, lol. I have two little boys and he doesnt have any. There have been a few times we talked about moving closer to each other. He has a good city job and I am so family oriented I dont think I could move there, not knowing anyone. The distance has caused some problems in the past and in January we acutally broke up and in the middle of feb got back together cause we missed each other so much. He comes here just about every weekend (I know I am lucky compared to some of you) but with gas the way it is, I dont know if he will be able to keep coming every weekend . LDR are hard. I was married for almost 5 years and have 2 kids to that marrige. My ex husband has seen them once since Christmas Day, ONCE. The man I am with now does so much with them, teaches the boy/man stuff like playing sports, farting (lol), camping, just guy stuff that men are supose to do with their kids. And my boys love him so much. If I ask them who they want to go with...me or DBF they will say DBF not me . Sometimes I get upset but then I realize its ok. Got a little off track here. Sorry about that! Anyhow, us 4 will be making a trip to WDW again the Sept. for our 2nd "family" trip.

 

[wdwtheplacetobe]

Hello to WDW and tmli - who I have 'known' and followed their wonderful stories from the beginning on the Singles Thread...so happy for all of you and your happy endings!

Pixie dust for those who needs it!

Good to hear that your LDR has been progressing and getting to the point that you will no longer have to leave to go home. One of the newbies to this asked me if leaving gets any easier....not until you don't have to leave anymore.

Hugs and

You will Love California....HE is there!!!!

wdw

 

[Keneke]

I broke up with my ex, who was an LDR, back in December. It was difficult driving 3 hours to see each other, but at least it wasn't as bad as being undriveable. We'd see each other 3-4 times a month, taking turns to visit on weekends. In the end, neither one of us wanted to move (we're both very career) and she never, ever wanted kids (I mean, at some point I thought I might want to, so knowing that I'd never get them with her was a bit of a red flag), so we broke it off. It was a shame - we both loved Disney and had made a trip to WDW in 2005.

I guess what I'd say about LDR's is that you really have to look at what you want in a relationship that has come to full fruition. Is the LDR a temporary stage until one of you moves? Do you have a game plan for reaching the next step of your relationship? You just have to think hard about what you are attempting to accomplish with an LDR.