Good Afternoon!
Yea, I'm back I was starting to feel like I was going into withdraws!! I spent the entire day at my inlaws yesterday. As you all know my niece (going to be 23) had been staying with me all last week. Boy, was that an eyeopener! She came up with her entire family which is composed of DSiL, her husband (DBiL) and DNiece 23, DNep. 20, DNie. 14, DNep. 12, DNiec. 10. Everyone still lives at home. There are many problems between DNiece and her mom. And now DNiece, her mom and now her dad. I was not aware of all the problems before they came up. I offered to let DNiece stay with me because my inlaws home only has one spare bedroom so there were people out in the camper and spare bedroom. Apparently, that was a problem.

I can't even go into it here. Needless to say she didn't want to be up at my in-laws where her mom and dad were so I hardly got to see my other nieces and nephews AT ALL and it really felt strained between me and DSiL. Although, I don't feel like DSiL was upset with me but I just felt like I was in the middle.

Such a horrible feeling!! Finally, on Thursday night my DNiece (did I say she was 23??? Oh, I'm sorry 22 going to be 23????
) decides (for herself because she is
22 that she is going to go spend the night with my brother-in-law and his life-partner/boyfriend. She asked if I would be offended by her not staying at my home? I said no. Because quite frankly, DH and I were ready for some alone time and to have our home back! The next morning I go up to my mother-in-laws not thinking anything of the niece going to my DBiL's. Instead I was quite thankful that I was finally able to go visit everyone w/out the stress of feeling in the middle. I walked through the door and my DSiL asks, "Where's DNiece?" And I say, "With DBiL." (her brother!!) Not thinking anything about it. I was completely caught off guard when she contorted her face and said something like, "This is the last straw! She's going to hear about this one!

" Then she got quiet (like the silent treatment) and even though I'm 31 and married I felt like I was 16 again and just got a "friend" in trouble with their mother.

Well finally, DSiL calmed down she was fine and I was able to feel like she hadn't blamed me for doing a bad job at watching her child. Then, DNiece calls me. Wants to know where I am. I say at MiL's. I can hear panic in her voice when she asks me, "What are you doing up there? Is my mom upset?" I'm honest and say yes. ~And then I think to myself, "If you have to ask this question then you obviously knew she would be!!!"~
So then she wants to know exactly what she said and I'm feeling like I am in highschool. I tell her exactly what happens because I don't know what else to do. She wants to know if I'll say something to her mom? I say, "No. I'm not comfortable with that and I'm not getting into the middle of this." To which she replies, "That's great. Just great." ~WTH???

~ So then she starts making something up on the phone (again like we're in highschool) I'll just tell my mom blah, blah, blah. . . which involved me and a huge exageration of the truth!!!
Immediately I hang up and go and talk to DSiL. I say something like, "Look, DNiece just called and I'm not going to get into the middle of it but this is what happened. . . 'blah, blah, blah'. She's 22 and I'm not going to tell her what to do. She asked me if I'd be offened if she left and I honestly told her no. That was not me giving a 22 year old permission to come or go. I just want to be clear with you." And she said something to the effect of she didn't blame me and DNiece knew what she was doing and DNiece just doesn't care and she (DSiL) is sure that I can't understand what the problem is regarding her being w/ DBiL.
Well whether I do or don't I'm not getting in the middle of this!!!
My Sister feels like I got in the middle of this when I let her come and stay with us but I truly did not know they were having such serious problems!! I just offered the girl a place to stay. That's it!
Now, I have my own opinions here. One being that at 23 I got married. Really,

I was 23 when I married my sweetie

! At 21 I was out on my own for sure. Sure, I can feel at 22 you should be able to decide where and when you go and what you do when you get there. I can also feel that at 22 you get to make those decisions
only when you are paying your own way. These 20 somethings (both of them) live at home for free. They pay no rent, buy no groceries, pay for no school, pay for no insurance and when the cars are broke (and there isn't enough of
their money to fix them) mom and dad work their schedules around them so they can have their cars. So, when you're still living at home like children do, then expect to be treated like a child, i.e. obeying your parents and whatever that entails. If you don't like the "house rules" move out, pay your own way and make your own rules!! Or at least pay rent and be a boarder adult! ~Sidenote, I'm not talking about anyone who has been out on their own and for reasons have had to move back in w/ their parents on an adult/adult field. I'm talking about kids who have just stayed kids. Nothing has changed. Mom and dad paid when they were kids and are still doing everything the same. Does this make sense?~
Anyway, it was tense last night. And then she wanted me to take her out of there because it was uncomfortable but I was done.
They left this morning. I'm exhausted. I've run errands all morning. Had a lovely run in w/ a
horrible clerk at the post office and now I have to go to confession.
I'll catch up on all the posts when I get back and decompress!! Of course, confession always makes me uptight!!! But I haven't been in awhile and I need to go and I always feel better afterwards.
Thanks for letting vent that all out.
I wish you all lived closer and then we could get together and do something fun and pampering for ourselves like 2xcited2slp suggested.
By the way, 2xcited2slp, I'll be glad to post the multi quote technique a little later.
Talk to you all in a bit.
