Who has a "friend" like this? Warning..vent ahead**Update post 27**

[Froggyswife]

My advice is to draw a big red X on the back of your pants and tell your "friend" to kiss it.

 

[Stacerita]

In answer to your question, "who has a friend like this?", I don't. Friends don't do that. If they did, then they aren't friends by any stretch, hence I wouldn't care what they think whatsoever. Sounds to me like you need to take your vacation and enjoy the time away from her.

I couldn't agree more with this.

 

[irisbud]

People who critique other people's lives are really just showing how unhappy they are with their own lives. They tear you down so they can feel better. QUOTE]

 

[PrincessKitty1]

I do have an EX-friend like that. We had been friends for a long time and her behavior had really deteriorated due to her addictions. I held on to that friendship a good three years after I should have let it go!

Now if I catch any sense of "mean girl" from another woman, I give a wide berth! I worked with a hypercritical woman who kept inviting me to parties, to play golf, to go out to lunch, etc. and I don't think she ever figured out why I was pleasant to her but stopped accepting any invitations. People who constantly criticize are just plain mean and don't need to be in our lives.

 

[mercydisney]

Can you imagine how she would react if you would talk to her the same way she does to you? She would probably never talk to you, So see what happens. Let her know how you feel. If she doesn't understand why you feel the way you do about her then she not a true friend and she has "issues". You will find true friends when you least expect it.

 

[HappyLawyer]

She moved to FL last year, just bought a house. We do WDW annually, and will be going in Sept. She has already reviewed our itinerary (I keep a spreadsheet with our ADRs, etc), to find out when we can get together, and has given me a mouthful. Why do I need so many ADRs (we are on free dining), why do I need an itinerary, haven't I already seen Spectro, why do I need to see it again, if the food at CM is not great, why do I go there, it can't possibly just be for the characters, why do I need to spend 10 days in the park, how can I just do WDW, and deny my children Sea World, yada yada yada.
At home, I get a lecture about how my house should be cleaner & neater (I work FT, have 2 teenagers and a toddler (all with issues), and a DH who is a cop and spends his free time as a volunteer firefighter...need I say more), DH should not be spending so much time at firehouse, everyone should help more, my kids are doing this wrong, and that wrong, I am raising children wrong, yada yada yada.
Needless to say, my oldest is 17, her only child is 4. She does not work, and just bought a newly constructed house. She orders her DH around like a migrant worker, and he works 6 days a week to allow her to stay home with DD. Yet, she thinks she is more knowledgeable then me about all aspects of life. I realize I am far from perfect, and seek advice from those I believe are qualified to give it when necessary. I wish I had the time/energy to join something to make new friends, but I don't at this point, plus I work from home, so I don't get the opportunity to meet new people often. I know part of my tolerance of this "friend" is due to the fact that my dad and ex were very controlling and berating as well. I am now wondering whether no friend at all is better than a bad friend.

hey, if you want to dump her go ahead, you have all of us and we out number her.ps a true friend is a non judgemental listner-pass that on

 

[frannn]

she took it very badly. She just didn't get it. I responded to her email- here is the gist of it:
"...The problem is, I am really getting very upset by your put downs to XXX and myself. Regardless of what everyone is telling you, everyone here is asking me why I have a friend who constantly berates my family and myself. The answer is, I know you well enough to know you are really just trying to help. Sometimes the way you say things just is mean, although I know you are trying to be a good friend in your own way...." and "... A friendship is supposed to be two people supporting each other no matter what, not constantly judging and finding fault. This really doesn't need to be a chore. Can't we just find the time to get together and both bend a little bit so we can enjoy the short opportunity we have to get together? Let's both be mature and considerate to one another."
She called me and gave me a lecture about how she refuses to sugar coat things, and that being a real friend means telling the truth, yada yada, without letting me get one word in or taking a breath. I tried to explain that if that's the way she feels, no problem, just think before she speaks and find a gentler way to voice her opinions. I even gave her examples, like instead of her saying that my she can't understand what my 3 year is saying, all she does is babble, and her 3 year old calls my DD a "baby" because she is so behind, she could maybe say that a friend of her's has a child in a program that might benefit my daughter, or something a little less scathing. Calling my house a pigsty (which it's not, just cluttered and 3 kids doing their best to dirty it) is just not necessary in any language. She honestly didn't get it, and said that she and her DH actually sat & laughed reading something in my email. Huh? Her voice was quivering & she said a few nice things, but when I wanted to speak, told me she had to go, no time for this....
So, I guess I'll see her the one time in FL, but I won't persue the relationship.
Anybody want a friend who is a bit messy, verrrrrry busy all the time, sometimes can be a little eccentric, but has a really big, loving heart? I'm available!

 

[Jeanny]

nah, you don't need that stress in your life. At least she's not living next door to you and you can't escape her. She's definitely NOT a friend.

 

[HomeSweetDisney]

Yikes. Definitely not someone you need in your life. And they sat and laughed at your e-mail? That just proves right there that not only do these people not posess tack, but they are incredibly immature. If she could not at least TRY to understand where you're coming from and compromise, then she is not a friend. Not even close. I wouldn't even waste my time on her in FL. But if that's just me. After that, I certainly wouldn't bother trying to keep in touch with this woman.

to you!

 

[cinmell]

Sounds like you would be doing yourself a favor by not keeping in touch with this "friend." Personally, I wouldn't even bother to meet up with her in Florida.

 

[Kewz1]

Sounds like this friend may be a bit envious of your life. Maybe things aren't as "perfect" as she would want you to believe.

Are you sure you have to see her in Septmeber? That might be a little stressful. You could always wait until the trip is closer and see how things are going. I wouldn't hesitate to cancel the get-together though if the situation hasn't gotten any better.

Hang in there and have fun planning your upcoming trip!!

Kristen

 

[ericamanda01]

OMG she is miserable! Who would say to their friend, "that she and her DH actually sat & laughed reading something in my email". You are better off without her. As for your vacation, I would plan alot of side activites that don't include her. That way when she complains, because we all know she will, you can jump up and say, cool you don't have to go. And then you can do your own thing. I hope you have a great vacation.

PS when are you going in Sept?

 

[Mom2Ashli]

Honestly doesn't sound like you are going to miss out on much by not having her for a friend. She doesn't sound like much of friend in my book.

 

[karebear1]

Quite honestly, I'm not even sure I'd meet with her in Florida! The fact that she would even say that she and her DH laughed at what you wrote??? She is really mean spirited- and she doesn't respect or value you as a friend. I say cancel meeting her and go have fun without her!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Friendship's are based on "give & take". Apparently she is just a taker. When she uses you up, you will be empty.

I wouldn't waste my time with her...geesh.

 

[hentob]

So, I guess I'll see her the one time in FL.....

Why

She and her husband actually sat and laughed at your email. An email that you wrote expressing your concerns and how she upsets you. And she tells you that they sat and LAUGHED at it

To be honest, I think it would be foolish to invest one more minute with this person.

Good Luck!

 

[lindakmonty]

I agree... don't even give her the time of day in FL...why give her that. Tell her you don't have time for HER foolishness! Like I said before, WE'LL be your friend!! There are a lot of DISers that would love to meet your family while you're at Disney! Don't let her get to you anymore. It is clear she's NOT worth it!!

 

[SC Minnie]

I'm with everyone else. I would not be spending my family vacation time to meet her. You know she will treat like usual if not worse.

 

[AprilShowers]

I agree with the above posters.....DO NOT go see her in Florida. She is the one losing a good friend, not you. Do you really want to taint your vacation with her poisonous "friendship"? I wouldn't do it.
It's time to end this friendship. By her reaction to your concerns she has shown her true colors.

I once had a friend who was hurt by some things I said. I had NO IDEA, really. I am a very sarcastic person. Well, she called me on it, and I was crushed that I would hurt my friend like that! I apologised profusely and was more careful around her. We get along great now. Your "friend's" response to your concerns is deplorable. True friends care about one another and their feelings.

Anybody want a friend who is a bit messy, verrrrrry busy all the time, sometimes can be a little eccentric, but has a really big, loving heart? I'm available!

Sign me up! Sounds like we have ALOT in common!

 

[chyam]

Sounds like you would be doing yourself a favor by not keeping in touch with this "friend." Personally, I wouldn't even bother to meet up with her in Florida.

I wouldn't meet up with her either! Don't ruin your vacation for even one day to subject yourself to your negativity, besides I don't think she should have shared the email with anyone, she should have read and reread it and try to see that she herself is to negative.
I try not to judge how others live or how messy their house is, as long as it is not mine, and that they have a good heart.
Move on from this friendship, in fact I would even block her emails and avoid as much contact as possible.....you don't need to bring yourself down just because she is so unhappy(whether she thinks so or not!) she sounds like a just plain miserable person..
Remember you always have a lot of friends her on the dis!