Who finds Mothers' Day really annoying?

[nuttylawprofessor]

I will be billing you for a monitor.

Have towel, will travel.

Alternatively, you can wait for the flames to begin. That will dry everything all up.

BTW- your kids say to pipe down, or you're gettin' nuttin' on Sunday.

 

[2Princes2Princesses]

Works for me. Usually I get to do laundry and clean. I could go for nothing for a change!!

 

[poohandwendy]

It doesn't sound like she's kidding to me, maties!!! She'll walk the plank for that remark!!! (or she'll suffer a gypsy curse - I haven't decided yet!!)

I feel I am being unjustly punished and discriminated against. My rights are being violated.

Where is MY special interest group?

 

[2Princes2Princesses]

I feel I am being unjustly punished and discriminated against. My rights are being violated.

Where is MY special interest group?

Didn't you know? May 21st is Unjustly Punished and Discriminated Against Pirate and Gypsy Haters Day. Cards are available at your local Hallmark store.

 

[poohandwendy]

Didn't you know? May 21st is Unjustly Punished and Discriminated Against Pirate and Gypsy Haters Day. Cards are available at your local Hallmark store.

Whew, now I feel better. Someone better inform my DH, cause I will be very very hurt if he forgets to celebrate with flowers, gifts, cards (Hallmark-because he cares enough to send the very best) and a lavish dinner.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

We don't do a whole lot for mom's day. This year we may very well be having a funeral. (Do they DO funerals on mother's day?) I love celebrating our anniversary, and birthdays, though. Those are milestones in my life!

my grandfather's funeral was on Christmas Eve....so i assure you they can do them on Mother's Day, too.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

Wow, how ... considerate of the OP. Getting a gift for her mom two months in a row.

As my teachers used to say, "you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

Arrrrr.

you know, that's funny. since we're talking about mothers.....i'll talk about what mine said about my birthday last year. i've mentioned this before in another thread, but i guess it'll make more sense since i said i don't really like mother's day.

last year on my birthday, no one wanted to celebrate my birthday besides
DH2B. my parents made plans to go out and my sister and her husband did the same. and neither of them invited me.

then, 2 weeks later, my mother came up to me and said "well....i guess we'll have to celebrate your birthday since we're doing something for your sister's" .....gee....thanks mom! so then she bought a cake that she liked(i didn't even like the type of cake she bought and when i asked her "can we get it from Tops?" she gave me a hard time, told me she hates tops cakes and wouldn't even bother eating it if we got one from there....so i gave in) and then told me that she spent enough money on the cake for me, that she didn't think i needed a gift or a card. but a $10 cake that i ate, even tho i didn't like, apparently made up for it. i didn't say anything to her about it, because i knew it wouldn't do any good.

and then this year when i mentioned "we don't really have to celebrate my birthday anymore, it's not a big deal" she accused me of being selfish.

so yeah....just wanted to throw that in there. i know a lot of people have wonderful mom's, and i've always wondered what it would be like to have one. but i don't have one, and when someone posts a thread like this, and a few people have an opposite opinion, you really should sit back and think why. maybe not everyone has it as good as you do. cherish your mom's, because not all of them are that great.

 

[Cindy B]

so yeah....just wanted to throw that in there. i know a lot of people have wonderful mom's, and i've always wondered what it would be like to have one. but i don't have one, and when someone posts a thread like this, and a few people have an opposite opinion, you really should sit back and think why. maybe not everyone has it as good as you do. cherish your mom's, because not all of them are that great.

I agree completely with what you said. I've also wondered about a wonderful mom as well, since I sure as heck don't have one either. My mom and dad retired a few years ago and moved to another state. I see them maybe 3x a year.

Thats a shame about the cake. Before my parents moved away, we had similiar issues.

For Mothers Day, I will send a generic card because well, there isn't a "Why bother with the word love in the card because you have never said that to me in my life card". I wish in a way Hallmark would create "honest" Mothers Day cards.

My MIL passed away a few years ago. Unlike many MIL's she was kind, sweet, generous and considerate.

 

[meandtheguys2]

my grandfather's funeral was on Christmas Eve....so i assure you they can do them on Mother's Day, too.

I was afraid of the that. My grandma is passing.

 

[JunieJay]

Oh come on. we all know search doesn't work and I have been around long enough to know you HAVE stated you hate children (in your defense, you usually add a 'but not all children' disclaimer just to get people off your back). And this isn't the first Mothers Day you complained about it. This thread is an annual event. Almost worthy of it's own holiday.

I don't even recall a disclaimer. Anyone who has been around the DIS long enough knows GG is infamous for hating kids. Another thing she is famous for is playing the "child free" card - she is insistent anyone with children hates the "child free". What she doesn't get is most of us have people in our lives who chose for themselves not to have children but still have the ability to have an active role in our children's lives. That not everyone who does not have children of their own hates children.

I also find it amusing she is telling people to stay off the "child free" thread when she's been haunting the "breeder" thread for years just to tell us how superior she is to us because she's "cheerfully child free". I've always thought its been a case of she doth protest too much.

 

[believe]

For me, Mother's Day is also about honoring the women who played an important part in your life. My friend does not have children, but was a Mom to me. This will be a day that she is also honored.
While I love my Mom, who has passed away, and spent time with her every week...this day reminded me to not take her for granted. Life gets busy and sometimes we need days like this to slow us down and reflect. We typically have a Mother's Day weekend, I typically get Saturday and my MIL gets Sunday. We do the same for Father's Day.

 

[grlpwrd]

Oh boy, I see certian people have me pegged as hating children, AND my mother! Wow!!

I guess they didn't read the part where it says I bought my mom a birthday gift, and I'm buying her a Mothers' Day gift, and I will be with her on Mothers' Day and that's fine. If I hated my mother, would I be doing any of that?

But, I DO still find Mothers' Day annoying.

And for those who say things like "You should appreciate the Day and your mom, because my mom is dead, blah, blah, blah...." I say, I DO appreciate her and I do not need a specific day in May to show that. And by the way, my mother also thinks it's a dumb holiday and commercialized! Yes, I am aware that she will die one day and I won't have her for Mothers Day, but I can tell you right now- I will not be feeling sorry for myself because she's not here on a certain day in May. I'll probably find it still annoying just like I do now. She would not want me to stay in and cry the blues because of a day on the calendar. She'd want me to go out and have fun.

So now you have an issue with those who lost their mothers?

You make it seem so trivial for them and that it will be no big deal for you ...

 

[Galahad]

I don't even recall a disclaimer. Anyone who has been around the DIS long enough knows GG is infamous for hating kids.

 

[Fitswimmer]

Really? Because when I read through it, it seemed to be all about horribly behaved children and the stupid breeders who brought them into the world.



And so...what? It should be abolished? Celebrated at home, alone, with the lights out? Some people don't celebrate Christmas, some people don't celebrate Easter, some people don't have fathers, some people dislike Halloween. Personally, I can't stand Thanksgiving, but I don't care if other people enjoy it.

If other people view you as less worthy it's their problem, and you know that. It isn't anyone else's repsonsibility to make you feel better by ignoring a holiday that they enjoy.

I guess my point is what exactly would you like people to do? I am not about to call up my own mother and say "out of respect for those who have lost their mothers, have abusive mothers, cannot become mothers or do not wish to become mothers, I'm blowing you off today, mom."

I don't care what anyone does or doesn't do, all I did was agree that the holiday advertising was annoying and in light of all the posts I had read, I mentioned that maybe Mother's day isn't a big shiny joyful day for everyone.

My best friend lost her mother 4 years ago, and I don't mention Mother's Day in her presence. I don't talk about what I'm doing for my Mom or anything like that. She stays home from Church that day because it makes her sad and I know all the Kay jeweler ads are a bit much.

I have another friend who grew up with an abusive father, so I try to keep my cool stories about my Dad to a minimum around her. Not that she would begrudge me the relationship I have with him, but because it would rub salt into the wound about her own childhood.

I try to remember that not everyone had the kind of wonderful parents that I was blessed with and not everyone is lucky enough to still have their parents with them.

As for the other holidays, yes, I try to remember that not everyone celebrates the same holidays as I do. I still celebrate, but I don't rub it in other people's faces or belittle them for not feeling the same way about the holiday as I do.

 

[auntpolly]

Since my middle of the night pirate raid didn't work can I make an actual comment? I think we all have things that everyone else loves that we find annoying, offensive or disturbing. I certainly do - I'm not going to mention them right this minute, but they come up in threads from time to time. I don't know what is behind this mother's day tirade, but .

I think it might have been a little insensitive to start a thread bashing mothers' day when so many of us are emotional about it in one way or another, but you know, again, , the OP has no power over mother's day. She's not in charge of legislation to abolish it. She can't stop us from enjoying it. She can't even stop us from making 100 threads about the joys of mothers day if that's what we felt like doing, so again, . If we did and she started posting about how she hated mother's day, which she probably would, everyone would be angry that she was trying to ruin the threads. So IMO I say let her have her tirade party. I bet it would be alot less fun if nobody showed up. Just a thought.

I think she is probably enjoying getting a rise out of people.

 

[JunieJay]

I don't care what anyone does or doesn't do, all I did was agree that the holiday advertising was annoying and in light of all the posts I had read, I mentioned that maybe Mother's day isn't a big shiny joyful day for everyone.

My best friend lost her mother 4 years ago, and I don't mention Mother's Day in her presence. I don't talk about what I'm doing for my Mom or anything like that. She stays home from Church that day because it makes her sad and I know all the Kay jeweler ads are a bit much.

I have another friend who grew up with an abusive father, so I try to keep my cool stories about my Dad to a minimum around her. Not that she would begrudge me the relationship I have with him, but because it would rub salt into the wound about her own childhood.

I try to remember that not everyone had the kind of wonderful parents that I was blessed with and not everyone is lucky enough to still have their parents with them.

As for the other holidays, yes, I try to remember that not everyone celebrates the same holidays as I do. I still celebrate, but I don't rub it in other people's faces or belittle them for not feeling the same way about the holiday as I do.

I lost both my mother and my father relatively early in my life - my Dad died when I was 23 and my mom when I was 32. I'm almost 44 so I've had many Mothers and Fathers Days without them. I can tell you for sure that I never begrudged my friends their days with their Moms, in fact, many of their Moms became "mom" figures to me. I've always thought family is what you make of it - sometimes when our blood kin has passed away or for whatever reason emotionally unavailable, we bend the rules of what constitutes a family. Mothers Day has always included those women in my life who have filled that role for me, particularly in light of the fact I lost my mother. While they could never replace my Mom, they filled that maternal void. That is the way I see Mothers Day - just a day to acknowledge those who have that impact on me. It does make me miss my Mom but my sorrows wouldn't be lifted if it was decided tomorrow there would be no more Mother's Day. I'd still miss her, and I'd not have a designated day to remind me to reach out to all the people that have been there for me since she died.

 

[Bob Slydell]

Maybe you need to talk to Bob then, cause he is the one who said that you hate children.

Whoever wants to live child free that is their choice and they have that right. There are alot of people in the world that should have made that choice.

No, I didn't. All I did was answer your question as to whether or not goofygirl is like you and desperately wanted children.

I made no judgements, I made no claims of her hating anyone, nor did I say anything about her choice to be childfree. I simply answered your question. I highly doubt goofygirl would disagree with what I said back on Page 2.

 

[Fitswimmer]

I lost both my mother and my father relatively early in my life - my Dad died when I was 23 and my mom when I was 32. I'm almost 44 so I've had many Mothers and Fathers Days without them. I can tell you for sure that I never begrudged my friends their days with their Moms, in fact, many of their Moms became "mom" figures to me. I've always thought family is what you make of it - sometimes when our blood kin has passed away or for whatever reason emotionally unavailable, we bend the rules of what constitutes a family. Mothers Day has always included those women in my life who have filled that role for me, particularly in light of the fact I lost my mother. While they could never replace my Mom, they filled that maternal void. That is the way I see Mothers Day - just a day to acknowledge those who have that impact on me. It does make me miss my Mom but my sorrows wouldn't be lifted if it was decided tomorrow there would be no more Mother's Day. I'd still miss her, and I'd not have a designated day to remind me to reach out to all the people that have been there for me since she died.

I'm hoping that my friend who lost her mother will come to feel the way you do at some point. I guess right now it's still too raw, so I try to be sensitive to that.

 

[Jennifer S]

I'm the one that said she hates children - because she DOES! so Please don't say you don't now. Have some balls and admit it! All you have to do is read the Child free by choice thread or even be a member here for more than 5 minutes and read some of GG's posts.

 

[JunieJay]

I'm hoping that my friend who lost her mother will come to feel the way you do at some point. I guess right now it's still too raw, so I try to be sensitive to that.

You'd be surprised at how receptive she might be though.

I've told this story on the DIS before, but at the risk of sounding maudlin, I'll repeat it because I think it applies here.

After my mother died, the task of packing up her things fell on my sister and I. We were distraught, naturally. My best friend since childhood, Debi, and her Mom Betty came over that day to help out. In going through her things, my sister found an afghan my mother had started crocheting for my son, who was 1 at the time. My mother was only in her 50s when she died, I'm sure she fully expected to complete the afghan. It was a bitter reminder to how quickly she was taken from us. We put it aside and went on with going through her things.

That Christmas, I was in a funk and didn't feel I could celebrate without my mother. My mother had traditionally done an open house where people celebrated with her over the course of several weekends. Everyone would come to these parties - neighbors, co-workers of my Dads, family, friends, just anyone who wanted to come came. She was big on Christmas and celebrations. I didn't feel I could carry on that tradition, even though several members of my family expected me to. It was just "too raw" as you said.

A few days before Christmas Debi and Betty showed up at my house with a present, one for me, and one for my sister. When I opened up the present I cried with joy....Betty had taken the time to finish the afghan my mother started, and not only that, but she made it into two blankets - one for me, and one for my sister.

At that point it really resonated with me that family is what you make it, and life is for the living. From that day forward I decided to honor my mother I needed to continue on with my life, and carry on the traditions she set forth. From that day forward I realized I needed to get on with my life, and I did. I never have forgotten what Betty did for me, and I really learned the meaning of true friendship. They reached out to me in a way and made me feel not so alone. I'm so fortunate in that Betty and Debi are not the only ones who have done that for me over the years, and I always honor them at Mother's Day.

You might find your friend wants to talk about Mothers Day and doesn't need for you to tiptoe around the subject. I think its sweet you are so caring of her. It sounds as though she really has "family" in you, the kind of family I refer to above.