Where do you draw the line at being too cheap?

[Mari annie]

My inlaws have like 2 towels and make a tube of toothpaste last a year and they rarely buy toliet paper, (we never go there less than 1.5 hour a way)
They always remind the bathroom patrons not too use more than a couple sheets..........nice hugh?!

GROSS!

*********************************

7 more days until WARM FL SUNSHINE!!!!

Where's the parade..........?

 

[CF'er]

Is sewing DH's cut hand at home instead of an ER trip cheap or frugal? (Just kidding he went to the ER.)

B-day party invitations: I usually invite the whole class and I have to send them with the kids. Our school doesn't put out a directory and I don't personally know everyone in their classes.

I will put a sponge in the dishwasher but I also bleach them too on occasion. I have to bleach the tea pitcher and will use some of that water for the sponges and then it's to the toilets to give them a good cleaning. The water that is not the sponge.

As for the menstrual cups..... if they're good unless you're laying down.... how do you sleep? What do you do/use then? I'm not sleeping in a chair for a week for the sake of the environment.

As for cheap (not good buys just cheap dollar store junk) gifts.... I won't do it. I give in the manner that I'd like to receive. My DSil gets my kids cheap gifts that barely last a day. She gets several things. I usually buy DN one expensive'ish gift.

House temp.... I will be warm in the winter and cold in the summer. DSil keeps her house cold in the winter and HOT in the summer. BUT it's her house. I have central heat and air and am going to use them. Now in the winter I will put on a sweatshirt if I am cold but the rest of the family is warm enough. I know that I am cold natured. Luckily DH feels the same way.

I also went to the movies with my kids a couple of weeks ago. It cost us $16.50 just to get in for the matinee. I brought our candy but did buy a drink. If I were to buy food at the concession stand it would have been outrageous.

We also take snacks to the ballfield if we are going to be there for an extended period of time. That can add up fast.

I liked the shampoo idea. I think my kids use theirs as bubble bath. They can use more body wash/shampoo than an entire army. They aren't that big. How much soap do you need for that little body? I think I will be using smaller bottles and refilling them.

 

[Genieklone]

I guess it's all what your culture/norms are. I provide food generously for all of my guests and invite them to eat and drink their fill. However, I view the leftovers as mine and I may have plans to use them for lunches or another meal. I was the one who bought, paid for, cooked, and served the food.

I almost always offer guests food to take home and I wouldn't be offended if someone politely asked for some to take with, but I would definitely take exception if someone demanded the leftover food or automatically assumed they were entitled to it!

I'm providing you dinner, not dinner and free groceries for the rest of the week.

I agree with you that it may be a culture/norm difference. At out parties, we assume folks will take food....even if this is an informal get together. I guess this is where I would someone is being cheap. I never ask nor do I expect someone in my family to ask whether they should take food home. I take and they take because it was part of the bounty. If this is a problem...here's where I say you can't afford a party and shouldn't invite so many people. But then again, this may be a culture/norm difference.

 

[ducklite]

I agree with you that it may be a culture/norm difference. At out parties, we assume folks will take food....even if this is an informal get together. I guess this is where I would someone is being cheap. I never ask nor do I expect someone in my family to ask whether they should take food home. I take and they take because it was part of the bounty. If this is a problem...here's where I say you can't afford a party and shouldn't invite so many people. But then again, this may be a culture/norm difference.

IMHO, if it's a pot luck, I'd expect that people would either take home the leftovers of what they brought, or that each family who brought something would bring a bit of everything home.

But if I throw a party where I provide everything, I'd be upset if people just started to wrap things up to take home with them! If there's a lot left over, I'd offer things to people, but to just help yourself to a doggie bag at someone elses home without being invited to is beyond tacky, and waaaayyyy beyond cheap.

It has nothing to do with not being able to afford to throw the party, it has to do with manners in polite society.

I have two girlfriends who come over for dinner a couple times a year and they usually bring a side dish and dessert--they always want to leave the leftovers, I make them take things home with them--often we divvy it up between us. But the last "big" party I had with about 35 people, I provided everything, and would have been peeved if people had just decided to take whatever they wanted home without being invited to.

Anne

 

[pearlieq]

If this is a problem...here's where I say you can't afford a party and shouldn't invite so many people. But then again, this may be a culture/norm difference.

It's not about whether you can afford to entertain, it's about people taking things to which they aren't entitled.

The "rules" in my circles are that if it's a potluck you're entitled to whatever's leftover of whatever you brought and anything else someone offered you or said it was OK to take.

At a hosted dinner leftovers are at the sole discretion of the host. Many times a host will offer you something to take home, but you aren't automatically entitled and you would be viewed as rude, greedy, and presumptuous if you just started collecting up leftovers without an invitation to do so. Heck, why not gather up some of the extra TP while you're at it?

Maybe it's a Midwestern thing? It kind of reminds me of a line from a song in The Music Man..."You can eat your fill of all food you bring yourself"

 

[Genieklone]

Ducklite,
Like I said in my previous post this comes down to cultural differences. Like you may have observed, we can be very thrifty if need be for ourselves, but for our guests and our families we would offer the clothes off of our backs...literally. If my MIL, or my father were to visit we would have them be in the master suite and we would sleep on the floor if need be. This is our culture (the norm for us). When we have parties, we invite everyone in the family (I mean everyone) and we ensure we always cook too much so no one goes unfed (there are always uninvited guests). If we cannot afford to do a large scale party, we don't. Food can be obtained very cheaply and we see this is an opportunity to break bread with family. At the end of the party (and during) people take food to go. No questions asked...this is a custom. It's not being cheap for them to take, it would be considered 'cheap' of me to not give.

There is no rule of 'polite society' (who is this society you're talking about btw), just individual POV.

Does that make any sense?

 

[ducklite]

Ducklite,
Like I said in my previous post this comes down to cultural differences. Like you may have observed, we can be very thrifty if need be for ourselves, but for our guests and our families we would offer the clothes off of our backs...literally. If my MIL, or my father were to visit we would have them be in the master suite and we would sleep on the floor if need be. This is our culture (the norm for us). When we have parties, we invite everyone in the family (I mean everyone) and we ensure we always cook too much so no one goes unfed (there are always uninvited guests). If we cannot afford to do a large scale party, we don't. Food can be obtained very cheaply and we see this is an opportunity to break bread with family. At the end of the party (and during) people take food to go. No questions asked...this is a custom. It's not being cheap for them to take, it would be considered 'cheap' of me to not give.

There is no rule of 'polite society' (who is this society you're talking about btw), just individual POV.

Does that make any sense?

If that is your custom, so be it. But I think *most* people in the US and Canada would be appalled if thier guests started to pack up a doggie bag during a party that wasn't a pot luck type of event. And it absolutely nothing to do with no being able to afford to entertain.

If you ask Miss Manners, I think she would wholeheartedly agree with me.

Anne

 

[phillybeth]

We are the same way in my family- most times the host/hostess is begging people to take food home! It probably is a cultural/regional thing, although I would never go to a party and assume that I could start packing up food. It's just in my family we show our hospitality with food- lots of it. A party for 20 has enough food to feed 40! Even for a 'simple' cookout my dad will do burgers, dogs, sausage, chicken and sometimes ribs. Plus a green salad, potato salad, pasta salad, deviled eggs, chips, pretzels, baked beans, etc. All that for 6-8 people! Entertaining is a competitive sport for us

But this is for at-home parties/barbeques/get-togethers only. We would never do it at a formal function, or a catered party in a hall like a First Communion or wedding shower.

 

[Genieklone]

If that is your custom, so be it. But I think *most* people in the US and Canada would be appalled if thier guests started to pack up a doggie bag during a party that wasn't a pot luck type of event. And it absolutely nothing to do with no being able to afford to entertain.

If you ask Miss Manners, I think she would wholeheartedly agree with me.

Anne

I doubt I'll be inviting Miss Manners to any of my soirees. I don't think they would suit her fancy.

 

[SaraMc]

My sister's words of advice when I moved out on my own was this, no matter how you scrimp and save, never cheap out on toilet paper. So that's where I draw the line on being cheap.

 

[grlpwrd]

It seems to me someone is mucking with the quotes. Lady V was the preachy one, not genieklone.

And, I've no idea why I was quoted by Lady V and told I was harsh...this is a mess!

Well, does it matter that the quotes are messed up... the condescending, judgmental attitudes (with religion and other topics discussed) are still here so it doesn't make a difference... to me anyway.

Genieklone, our family does the same with leftovers. It's expected and the norm and I don't understand why you're catching a lot of flack for it. It's definitely cultural for us. I wouldn't do that with non-relatives, though.

My kids have always used cloth diapers as little one's. The designs are much better now and easy to use and wash. You can even sew your own.

Besides the menstrual cup, there are menstrual pads that you can make or buy. It's just a homemade pad of cotton or other absorbable material that you can use and reuse. Some folks also use homemade cloth wipes for toileting. That's not for me, though. lol... That is where I draw the line.

 

[meandtheguys2]

Well, does it matter that the quotes are messed up... the condescending, judgmental attitudes (with religion and other topics discussed) are still here so it doesn't make a difference... to me anyway.

I guess it would to me. If someone were misquoting a rude preachy statement, and attributing to me, I would care.

How would you feel if someone had attributed that quote to you?

originally posted by grlpwrd
ok-not to sound preachy-but when you aren't titheing you are cheating the collection plate in my opinion. I heard a great speaker last week who said that when people wont give happily (even when they are poor) that they are hurting themselves because if God sees you can't handle your limited finances correctly (like titheing) then why would he give you a fortune that he knows you couldn't handle correctly?
I hope this wasn't rude it is just really personal to me and means a lot to me because I used to be so scared to really give the full amount being a single mom and all and when i finally had the faith and just did it I was amazed. I was free and the blessings that come from that feeling are priceless to me.

 

[abeyst]

I don't know if anyone said this yet or not, but my mom reuses paper/styrofoam plates. Yep, she wipes/washes them off and stacks them in the strainer in the sink to dry! It's embarassing.

I try to tell her I'll buy her a new package whenever she needs them, but she never tells me. I mean, what's the difference in washing a paper plate or using a regular plate?

Me, I won't skimp on cheese or chocolate chip morsels. Or kitchen appliances. No-name cheese tastes terrible, as do choc. chip morsels. And kitchen appliances, I've learned you get what you pay for.

As for drawing the line at being too cheap, I refuse to turn my heat any lower than 61 degrees. That's as low as I'll keep it to try and save my gas bill!!

 

[mrsltg]

ok-not to sound preachy-but when you aren't titheing you are cheating the collection plate in my opinion. I heard a great speaker last week who said that when people wont give happily (even when they are poor) that they are hurting themselves because if God sees you can't handle your limited finances correctly (like titheing) then why would he give you a fortune that he knows you couldn't handle correctly?
I hope this wasn't rude it is just really personal to me and means a lot to me because I used to be so scared to really give the full amount being a single mom and all and when i finally had the faith and just did it I was amazed. I was free and the blessings that come from that feeling are priceless to me.

WOW.... The speaker sounds like a sleaze. How dare he (or she) imply something so idiotic - WORSE - how lacking do you have to be to believe it? God gives out money? Really? So the poor people who starve to death - they don't know how to handle money? And starvation is what? Their punishment? Oh. My. God. Lastly, did you notice what kind of car the speaker drove? I would wager it wasn't a Kia...

 

[meandtheguys2]

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1342354&page=13

ok-not to sound preachy-but when you aren't titheing you are cheating the collection plate in my opinion. I heard a great speaker last week who said that when people wont give happily (even when they are poor) that they are hurting themselves because if God sees you can't handle your limited finances correctly (like titheing) then why would he give you a fortune that he knows you couldn't handle correctly?
I hope this wasn't rude it is just really personal to me and means a lot to me because I used to be so scared to really give the full amount being a single mom and all and when i finally had the faith and just did it I was amazed. I was free and the blessings that come from that feeling are priceless to me.

Funny, MRSTLG

 

[swilshire]

I don't know if anyone said this yet or not, but my mom reuses paper/styrofoam plates. Yep, she wipes/washes them off and stacks them in the strainer in the sink to dry! It's embarassing.

I throw them in the dishwasher, top rack.

It's not the money so much as hating to contribute to the mountain of trash in the local landfill. I don't usually buy anything styrofoam, but if I happen into it for some reason, I'll reuse it until it's damaged before throwing it away.

It drives DH nuts when I save various containers, but they are great for reusing when you want to take things places and not worry about getting your container back. Or send leftovers home after the pot luck.

Sheila

 

[Mono~rail]

I'm getting confused again with all these mucked up quotes!

 

[jsmla]

Me, I won't skimp on cheese or chocolate chip morsels. Or kitchen appliances. No-name cheese tastes terrible, as do choc. chip morsels.

I don't skimp on ingredients either. I do try to make a few veggie meals each week but if I'm using cheese, chocolate or beef I go for the good stuff. I hate that cheese product stuff. If I'm going to go to all the trouble of making home-made mac-n-cheese there's no way I'm not using the real thing.

Jennifer

 

[Lady V]

Hello! I wanted to say I am sorry if anything I said about titheing offended anyone. In no way did I want to do that. I meant to just put how it has helped me and not at all to make it sound like it was my way or the highway, and I know it came out very preachy. When I re-read it I could see how people could take it that way. I know we all have our own opinions on church and stuff and I am again truely sorry if I came across rude or preachy.

 

[kimsuenew]

We do "cheap things" that may not seem normal to others...

DS & DH walk our rural road (and side roads) and collect tin cans.

DS & DH "scrap" various types of metal, most of which were taken in on my FIL's "refuse route".

We have tent camped many, many times at Myrtle Beach State Park! We cook on electric skillets, eat out of a cooler, sleep on air mattresses, but stay very cheaply at a beautiful campground with ocean front access!

DH does all mecahnical work (except electrical) on our vehicles.

Our "newest car" is a 1997 with 140,000 miles on it. The newest car we ever bought was 3 & 1/2 years old.

We wash and re-use "plasticware" (forks/spoons/knives).

We have received free DDP two years in a row now at WDW!

We buy clearanced/returned items from Sam's - this is how we got our last two desktop PC's, our TV, camcorder, walkie talkies, CD player, ect...

We buy in bulk IF it is cheaper.

We shop Aldi's.

We price match at Walmart.

We "container garden" our veggies.

We only use Scott's regular toilet tissue (paper).

We keep the thermostat set (heat) at about 54 - 56 most of the time (and off at night and when we are gone).

We do not have central air, we do have a window AC but only use it if humidity is really high, pollen count is high, or farmers are working in nearby fields.

We keep plastic grocery bags and use them to carry DH lunch to work and also to line smaller trashcans.

I go to the local "beauty school" to get my hair highlighted/colored and often, cut!

We do not...

Wash and reuse baggies.

Garage sale (go to - I have an extreme cat/cat dander allergy and have ended up in the ER before, same goes for thrift store shopping, it is to "chancey" for me).

Buy our use expired grocery items or meat that has changed color a bit.

Buy generic dog food.

Pay for any lawn care to be done.

Buy cheap trashbags... you get what you pay for!