Where do you draw the line at being too cheap?

[Lady V]

I think being too cheap is like so many other things-I know it when I see it. I'm probably labelled cheap for using a reusable menstrual cup, but I wouldn't cook in a resort room.

I can't function if I am too cold. So, that is where the line is drawn here. My in-laws don't believe in paying for what you can't see...I hate going there in the winter, or the heat of the summer.

I don't wash baggies, because it takes too much space. My boys demolish all shoes we buy. OTOH, we alsway buy good clothes, because they last thru more than one boy. All things are then passed down to my nephew, and a little boy at the farmer's market.

I see "too cheap" as being behaviors that affect other's. Giving a 10% tip on excellent service, using unsanitary items, keeping food after it is way gone. (Not a day or so, but gone.)

I made my own diapers, but can't remember where I got the pattern. Loved them. Still using most of them for cleaning rags, etc., 12 years later!

You know, I think cheap and frugal are relative terms. Frugal is saving money for ourselves, whatever our comfort level is, even if it means not flushing the toilet for #1, just #2. If you're comforatble with that, do it!

But cheap is when you insult, demean, or take advantage of someone else. Like stiffing someone for the tab at a restaurant or bar. Sending your kids to someone else's house so they can get snacks there. Showing up at your relative's just in time for dinner. That sort of thing.

Here's another example of what I think is too cheap--eating off someone else. Sadly, I know several people (try to avoid them) who, if invited to an event that involves food in any form, be it a buffett dinner or snacks at a scouts meeting, will literally not eat anything all day, because they will "get fed" at that event. Then they scarf up everything in sight, leaving nothing for those at the end of the line That's cheap! Or going out to dinner with another couple, agreeing to split the bill, then they order steak and lobster while the other couple orders hamburgers, then think its justified to split the bill 50/50. I've lost a few friends (who weren't worth keeping!) over just such issues!

Just rambling here, here's another dilly--asking for the leftovers at someone else's home! We had an Easter dinner several years ago and my sil actually wanted to take the leftover ham home with her--all of it! She said we probably wouldn't eat it, anyways! Well, considering she's a 200# wonder, she probably could do justice to it!:rotfl2:

wow-that was kinda harsh especially considering how many people read this board. Bet there are a lot of people who might have been insulted.

 

[Lady V]

I totally agree. I also think too cheap is when people order a water and extra lemons to make their own lemonade at the table. It's one thing if you take the lemon that comes with your drink- it's another when you actually ask for more lemons knowing they're free and make your own drink.

QUOTE]

I'm not sure how this makes you cheap. Do you understand that you technically have paid for the water/lemons from the margins they make on your food?

Question: Do you think ordering ice water at Disney concession stands is cheap? We ask for ice water and we add koolaid to the water they give. If that's wrong then I don't want to be right! The margin retailers make on soda is 80-90%!

I work for these companies.... so I don't want fall trap to my own marketing techniques

it makes you cheap because you did not pay for a side of lemons. you paid for your meal. If you want to pay for a side order of fruit then go for it and get a big bowl of lemons for your fruit.

 

[DMRick]

sometimes I iron gift tissue paper and re-use it.

How could I have never thought to iron it. Thanks for the great tip!

 

[Lady V]

I totally agree. I also think too cheap is when people order a water and extra lemons to make their own lemonade at the table. It's one thing if you take the lemon that comes with your drink- it's another when you actually ask for more lemons knowing they're free and make your own drink.

QUOTE]

I'm not sure how this makes you cheap. Do you understand that you technically have paid for the water/lemons from the margins they make on your food?

Question: Do you think ordering ice water at Disney concession stands is cheap? We ask for ice water and we add koolaid to the water they give. If that's wrong then I don't want to be right! The margin retailers make on soda is 80-90%!

I work for these companies.... so I don't want fall trap to my own marketing techniques

Ok now here's the lowest I ever heard of. From SIL, the ham-a-month, we want it warm in your house at your expense one.

I just learned this from talking with her yesterday. We invited her and her family to go to church with us. They seemed hesitant to attend because they didn't know anyone, so we felt it would be nice to attend with someone to help ease them in, which seemed to be working. Then she tells me this gem--

When they pass around the collection plate, she just puts one of those donation envelopes in, without anything in it! She doesn't fill it out, just folds it over, and drops it in the plate. She says no one knows who didn't "pay" and it looks to everyone like she put something in the plate! Oh, how low! We always put $5 in, and the kids put $1 each in for Sunday school, so $7 a week out of our limited finances (we're currently unemployed). DH and I were discussing dropping back to $1 in the plate and a quarter each for the kids (the kid say that's what most people give, anyways). We figure God will understand. How to justify cheating the collection plate, though! I wish our pastor would preach about the woman who gave the two coppers--would hit sil right where she sits!

BTW, we won't invite sil to go to church with us anymore--she knows how to get there if she wants to!

ok-not to sound preachy-but when you aren't titheing you are cheating the collection plate in my opinion. I heard a great speaker last week who said that when people wont give happily (even when they are poor) that they are hurting themselves because if God sees you can't handle your limited finances correctly (like titheing) then why would he give you a fortune that he knows you couldn't handle correctly?
I hope this wasn't rude it is just really personal to me and means a lot to me because I used to be so scared to really give the full amount being a single mom and all and when i finally had the faith and just did it I was amazed. I was free and the blessings that come from that feeling are priceless to me.

 

[Lady V]

I think it's incredibly cheap to go into a restaurant, order water, and add your own Koolaid mix. And I think it's cheap to make your own lemonade out of ice water, sugar, and lemons. I think it borders on stealing if they offer lemonade on the menu.

Margins aside, a restaurant is in the business to make a profit, and by eating there, you are agreeing to contributing to the profit. If you don't like their prices or profit margins, then bring a lunch and eat on a bench in a park. Restaurants are not soup kitchens.

The same thign for people who don't want to tip solely to save money. It ends up COSTING the server to serve those people! A server makes $2.35 an hour, and is taxed for an 8% on every bill, whether they got a tip or not. That's $8 on a $100 bill that they ahve to pay taxes on. At a 25% tax rate, they pay $2 in taxes in money they never got, which is more than their take home pay on thier minimum wage after that is taxed!

Anne

 

[taximomfor4]

ok-not to sound preachy-but when you aren't titheing you are cheating the collection plate in my opinion. I heard a great speaker last week who said that when people wont give happily (even when they are poor) that they are hurting themselves because if God sees you can't handle your limited finances correctly (like titheing) then why would he give you a fortune that he knows you couldn't handle correctly?
I hope this wasn't rude it is just really personal to me and means a lot to me because I used to be so scared to really give the full amount being a single mom and all and when i finally had the faith and just did it I was amazed. I was free and the blessings that come from that feeling are priceless to me.

In practice this is not done, or even recommended, in many churches. I had some very in-depth conversations with my priest about this last year. He spoke of tithing, but requested more in the way of good works.

Beth

 

[Lady V]

Anne[/QUOTE]

My thinking is that when I get a gift card to go out and eat, i take it as a free meal for us paid for by someone else. If my meal comes to less than the gift card and the amount left on the gift card is adequate for a tip, then that is what we do. That's not being cheap. I am leaving enough on the card for the tip. If we happen to go over the card amount then we will pay for a tip out of pocket. A gift card is the same as money to the consumer. If you're not part of the waitstaff, then the consumer would not know this otherwise.

I personally do not feel that if i ordered a $10.00 meal or a $25.00 meal that my service would be any different. Why would i have to tip higher just because the bill is higher? At least I am not as bad as DH grandmother, she takes straws, napkins, ketchup, salt packets and the spork with the napkin packages. She even gives them to me for my birthday and XMAS. What kind of response should one give to those precious gifts? DH ran out of straws and put them on the groxcery list. I told him that he should mention that to his grandmother and then maybe he will get some for his birthday.

Is this a joke?? why?? I will tell you why--- Because servers work on tips and are taxed on your total. They can't tell the IRS "hey! just tax me for a hamburger because that lady said it's the same thing." sure-that will work.

 

[vhoffman]

ok-not to sound preachy-but when you aren't titheing you are cheating the collection plate in my opinion. I heard a great speaker last week who said that when people wont give happily (even when they are poor) that they are hurting themselves because if God sees you can't handle your limited finances correctly (like titheing) then why would he give you a fortune that he knows you couldn't handle correctly?
I hope this wasn't rude it is just really personal to me and means a lot to me because I used to be so scared to really give the full amount being a single mom and all and when i finally had the faith and just did it I was amazed. I was free and the blessings that come from that feeling are priceless to me.

Well, first of all, I'm not sure which of the above posts you're responding to, but I don't see where its being "cheap" to cut back our contributions to the church when our income is drastically cut back, at least we're giving something. Or were you referring to my sil, who tosses an empty envelope in the collection plate just to look like she gave something? And she and bil are working!

Hmmm....or were you responding to any of my posts or just an opinion in general? I do see your point!

 

[Mono~rail]

This page (13) is a big confusing mess! It doesn't make any sense. There are tons of quotes and it is hard to tell which quote the response is resonding to.

 

[vhoffman]

This page (13) is a big confusing mess! It doesn't make any sense. There are tons of quotes and it is hard to tell which quote the response is resonding to.

I agree Lets start all over again! one confusing mess!

 

[disneyfreakk]

"Judge not lest ye be judged" ( isnt that how it goes? ) I dont see how dontating any amount to your church/faith is being cheap. Thats why its called a donation! Give what you can if that is what you chose to do.

I agree with Anne on tipping the server. I used to be a waitress back in the day, and so now I usually over tip because I can. Trying to pay it foward, KWIM? There was nothing worse than to work my butt off and be stiffed a tip. And I was a DARN good waitress! Back then I made $2.15 an hour plus tip. There is more to being a server than bringing you your food. Its very hard work. On the rare occasion that I do not leave a tip, I tell the server WHY they didnt get a tip. I have to get horrible service to not leave anything. And I figure that if they arent aware of what they are doing wrong, they cant correct it.

 

[vhoffman]

Funny, no one's responded to my sil putting an empty envelope in the church collection plate to appear to give something, but I feel I'm being taken to task for cutting down on our donations when our income is severly limited?

Perhaps those of you who think I'm being "cheap" by cutting back on church donations should re-read the Bible story of the woman who gave 2 coppers to the temple? Well, re-read it, that is, if you haven't read it already!

 

[sk!mom]

ok-not to sound preachy-but when you aren't titheing you are cheating the collection plate in my opinion. I heard a great speaker last week who said that when people wont give happily (even when they are poor) that they are hurting themselves because if God sees you can't handle your limited finances correctly (like titheing) then why would he give you a fortune that he knows you couldn't handle correctly?
I hope this wasn't rude it is just really personal to me and means a lot to me because I used to be so scared to really give the full amount being a single mom and all and when i finally had the faith and just did it I was amazed. I was free and the blessings that come from that feeling are priceless to me.

Actually this does sound preachy. This is not a religious board and even if it were I'm sure that there are many belief systems represented here. I don't know what you consider to be a tithe (I know that some religions consider it to be 10%) but to say that someone is "cheating" because they don't drop it in the plate is pretty "preachy" in my view.

I'm glad that you feel so blessed in your faith but please realize that those who believe differently are not wrong or cheating- just different.

 

[macfamily]

Funny, no one's responded to my sil putting an empty envelope in the church collection plate to appear to give something, but I feel I'm being taken to task for cutting down on our donations when our income is severly limited?

Frankly, I stopped paying attention to the sister in law posts after that rotten remark about her weight.

I can't imagine, myself, the guilty feeling I'd have if I put an empty envelope in the collection plate. If I can't donate, I can't donate, and that's that. I certainly would never judge other people for not donating, nor would I expect anyone to judge me for the same.

Regarding tipping; I'll never forget the time I went to Friendly's with my DD, and TOTALLY FORGOT to leave a tip. (When I got the bill I thought "I'll pay the tip with the change"; then paid and walked out)I was almost home when it hit me, and I went back and found my waitress and gave her a fairly large tip and an apology. I certainly know how waitressing is and couldn't not go back...

 

[meandtheguys2]

It seems to me someone is mucking with the quotes. Lady V was the preachy one, not genieklone.

And, I've no idea why I was quoted by Lady V and told I was harsh...this is a mess!

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

We went out with friends last week and they had their own drink mix..and it was the red one, not the lemonade, so it was very obvious. I wanted to shrink under the table.

We also went out to dinner with other friends, and our share before tip and tax was $15, because we were using the entertainment book. We had asked for and was told separate checks were fine. When the waiter came to clear plates, one of the other couples (who were drinking heavily and expensively) told the waiter not to worry about it, we would just split the bill (in this case, they were being the cheap ones). Our share then came to $75. I really was stunned and didn't say anything, as we didn't know them well..but the next day, when we met for breakfast, you bet I asked for my separate bill as soon as I was served. We each got the special for $2.95..they each got the steak and eggs $11.95. Whew...that was close.

I wold have said something to them, that is a $60.00 unexpected bill. My DH would have never let that go.

 

[ducklite]

Funny, no one's responded to my sil putting an empty envelope in the church collection plate to appear to give something, but I feel I'm being taken to task for cutting down on our donations when our income is severly limited?

I do'nt see a problem with it. I have an issue with the whole concept of mandatory "donations" to any religious establishment. I don't give a lot to my church--it's a wealthy parish and frankly they do'nt need it. In stead I redirect my donations to other more grass roots causes that I truly believe make a difference in people's lives and do so with less overhead. And as far as those who say your life will be terrible without tithing, I've never tithed, never will, and think I've got a pretty darn blessed life. Is it perfect? No, but show me someone's who is.

And I think your SIL is beyond cheap, she's pathetic for putting an empty envelope in the plate. IMHO she'd be better putting in nothing than wasting the paper and someone's effort to open the empty.

Anne

 

[imsayin]

ok-not to sound preachy-but when you aren't titheing you are cheating the collection plate in my opinion.

If I were to tithe, which I don't, I wouldn't put any cash in a collection plate since I wouldn't be able to take a tax deduction for that donation. I would write checks to the church and not put anything in the plate. Since "cash" contributions are no longer tax deductible (you need your check as a receipt) I think you will see fewer people putting anything in the plate, so don't be judgemental.

 

[mjantz]

We went out with friends last week and they had their own drink mix..and it was the red one, not the lemonade, so it was very obvious. I wanted to shrink under the table.

One of our budget cuts for the year was to only order water when we went out to eat. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't semi-tempted, at times, to do what your friends did, but I would never, ever do it. I just remind myself that a 12pk of soda costs just a little more than your average restaurant soft drink & I can have one when I get home.

I am personally not willing to give up eating out but I don't mind using coupons & ordering water to make it cheaper. So far, every time we've gone out this year we've had a coupon or its been kids-eat-free night (I keep a list on my computer of where kids eat free). My goal is to keep it under $20 when we eat out. So far, so good.

 

[allison443]

If I were to tithe, which I don't, I wouldn't put any cash in a collection plate since I wouldn't be able to take a tax deduction for that donation. I would write checks to the church and not put anything in the plate. Since "cash" contributions are no longer tax deductible (you need your check as a receipt) I think you will see fewer people putting anything in the plate, so don't be judgemental.

We write a check, put it in our weekly collection envelope, and drop it in the collection basket.