When going to a party/cookout, do you.....

[Disney Doll]

If I am told not to bring something for the event itself, I always bring something that the hosts can enjoy later...ie-a bottle of wine, a flower arrangement, a plant, a cute decoration.

 

[marcyinPA]

I always bring something, even when not asked. We are headed to a party today, and the hostess asked me to bring the s'mores fixings. I am also bringing some adult beverages

 

[lizbaby007]

Add me to the list. I always bring something to a gathering. It is always appreciated and the more food & drink the better imo!

 

[Art 1]

We always bring something but do not want guests to bring anything when we host a party.

 

[tluvstink]

I always bring something. Even back in the day when I was so broke I couldn't pay attention I would at least have a bag of ice or chips.

Terri

 

[minkydog]

Just curious. When going to a party/cookout, do you bring food or drink, even if it wasn't specifically asked for?

Friends of ours recently had a large pool put in, and they've had 3 pool parties so far this summer. The hostess never asks us to bring anything, but I always do. For example, this weekend I brought a 30 pack of cupcakes, a 12 pack of beer, and a 12 pack of bottled water. Even though she doesn't ask for contributions, she always thanks those that bring something.

We were some of the first to arrive, and out of the 15 or so families that attended, I noticed that only 4 (including us) brought anything at all with them. Of course, they were all eating and drinking beer.

Maybe it's just my upbringing, but I'd feel really odd if I showed up to a party/cookout empty handed. How about you?

That's my upbringing too. Never go anywhere without a coffeepot and a pound cake. Or a 6 pack and chips & dip, at the least.

 

[minkydog]

I always bring something if it's family or friends. But I've also learned to ask if I don't know the host/hostess that well & follow their requests

Here is what I recently learned in one ex.. DS 8's soccer team ended their season before school let out. One of the mom's invited the whole team for a pool party/end of season party at her home.

I really didn't know this mom other than "hi etc". I offered to bring something & she politely told me that they were providing all the snacks & drinks including planned activities & did not want anything "outside" brought, just our company.

I felt weird not bringing anything but since we were e-mailing & I wasn't the only one who asked & was politely told not to, I decided just to bring DS to the party.

Day of pool party, a few of the other mom's brought snacks & juices & one a pool toy (they also got the same message I did) & these were politely returned/refused on arrival by the host mom. Turns out the mom is very big on organic, no preservatives , no violent play etc. So the Capri Suns, cupcakes & water cannon toys were promptly rejected. I felt bad for these moms because they were embarrassed.

But from now on if I don't know you, I ask & listen

The first rule of etiquette is Never Embarrass Your Guests.

 

[pixiewings71]

Usually, but a couple weeks ago I was told more than once to NOT bring ANYthing...and since I'd worked that day for 10 hours with about a 15 minute break I just didn't...and it was OK, she had plenty of food. But yes, usually I do bring something. Today I am bringing a cole slaw dish and a cake.

 

[NeverlandClub23]

I always bring something and if the host/hostess is someone I'm close to that INSISTS that I don't bring anything, sometimes I'll bring them some fresh flowers or a gift card to somewhere I know they like.

 

[prncess674]

If they are good friends then you should probably know wht would be appreciated. Last 4Th oF July I knew my friends would already have plenty of adult bevies (hey my friends are big drinkers) so instead of the usual liquor I brought a large pack Of
sparklers since i knew there would be a huge gaggle of kids. My $10 investment was the hit of the party and cost less than beer or wine.

 

[Family Fun Mom]

I always bring something if it's family or friends. But I've also learned to ask if I don't know the host/hostess that well & follow their requests

Here is what I recently learned in one ex.. DS 8's soccer team ended their season before school let out. One of the mom's invited the whole team for a pool party/end of season party at her home.

I really didn't know this mom other than "hi etc". I offered to bring something & she politely told me that they were providing all the snacks & drinks including planned activities & did not want anything "outside" brought, just our company.

I felt weird not bringing anything but since we were e-mailing & I wasn't the only one who asked & was politely told not to, I decided just to bring DS to the party.

Day of pool party, a few of the other mom's brought snacks & juices & one a pool toy (they also got the same message I did) & these were politely returned/refused on arrival by the host mom. Turns out the mom is very big on organic, no preservatives , no violent play etc. So the Capri Suns, cupcakes & water cannon toys were promptly rejected. I felt bad for these moms because they were embarrassed.

But from now on if I don't know you, I ask & listen

How incredibly rude. Nothing kills a good time at a party quicker than a Food Nazi. I wouldn't be going back to any party there.

 

[POPCITY]

I do unless I'm told not to. I have a good friend who always brings way too much. I tell her I have everything covered, so she doesnt have to bring anything. When she insists, and she always does, I say maybe just a dessert. She always brings at least half a dozen things. I'll make beans, she brings beans. I'll make potato salad, she brings potato salad. I love her to death, but it's very annoying. Bless her heart.

 

[rabyoga]

I always bring some type of treat. Plus I bring "my" food- Coke Zero, Sugar Snap Peas, Carrots

 

[worm761]

While I always ask, I always do what the host/hostess wants me to do.

I am of the opposite camp of everyone else. I find it rude that you want to come to my party but don't feel that I either am providing good food or enough food. You can't really say no if someone is already handing it to you. It is just rude to do so. When we have a gathering I always buy entirely too much food and end up sending some on. I always ask about allergies or food restrictions so that everyone is covered. Sometimes someone shows up with something and it just doesn't work with the other foods I have planned. I don't want you to buy me wine because, well..not to be rude or anything, I am really picky about my wine. Boyfriend not so much. LOL I don't want flowers in my house. I have them outside because they look pretty but I am allergic to them. I can handle them in the yard but confined in my home my eyes will swell shut. Yep, Boyfriend gets out of buying me flowers too!
I do understand wanting to bring something though.

 

[design_mom]

I always *offer* to bring something. Most of the parties I'm invited to are group get togethers and my offer is accepted, but there are a few exceptions.

My next door neighbor throws a summer party every year. She's a "foodie" and plans out her menu and does not want additional items. In addition, she always decorates beautifully for her parties. (She does borrow my folding chairs though.)

If I do not know the hostess and won't have a proper chance to reciprocate, then I will usually take some sort of hostess gift (flowers, chocolate, etc). But if I know the host well, I don't always. In the case of my neighbor, I think some sort of token gift would be seen more of a nuisance than a help (have to find a vase, do something with the wine, etc.) but I do nice things for her throughout the year.

 

[jrmasm]

Most likely but there are a some scenarios that miight change my answer.

That said, if it is a gift giving event (birthday party, shower etc.) my answer would almost always be no.

 

[Michelle67]

I always ask. If they said no, I'd probably still bring some drinks unless it was a formal affair. Here, it's pretty much a given that casual parties are a pitch in affair.

Today I'm taking potato salad, a dessert, and some soda for the cooler.

I agree. I'm in the same state as you, and around here it's definitely assumed that everyone will pitch in on a casual get-together. The host/hostess will most often ask what you'd like to bring so that you don't end up with five desserts and no side dishes (or five different versions of pasta salad and no desserts), but even if they don't ask I assume I need to bring something.

 

[Michelle67]

I do unless I'm told not to. I have a good friend who always brings way too much. I tell her I have everything covered, so she doesnt have to bring anything. When she insists, and she always does, I say maybe just a dessert. She always brings at least half a dozen things. I'll make beans, she brings beans. I'll make potato salad, she brings potato salad. I love her to death, but it's very annoying. Bless her heart.

My best friend is exactly like this. I adore her beyond words, but if I ask her to bring one thing she'll bring five. I always end up either sending things back home with her, or at least trying to. Most of the time she insists on leaving it here. Fortunately I have ravenous children around here that take care of unguarded food.