When Did I Get Voted Off of Skinny Island & Why is This Fat Shadow Stalking Me?

[PixiePlanner]

Disney Quote of the Day:

"It is not what is outside but what is inside that counts."

Agrabah Salesman, Aladdin

Above all else, remember this. If you are skinny and a jerk, what's the point?

This reminds me of my favorite Natalie Green quote from the first season of "Facts of Life".... Yes, I am completely giving my age away...

"Who wants to be a skinny pencil? I'm happy being a magic marker!"

I have always thought my goal is to be happy and healthy: not skinny and miserable.

Yep, totally dating myself.

 

[Dizneydawn]

I took today off from work to spend some time outside with the kids. They're on spring break and have been with grandma for two days. It was fun - what a beautiful day! Plus I knew my work didn't have anything going on that I was missing!

76 2 das in a row in Minnesota. It is an awesome day!!!!

DH made dinner tonight. He grilled out chicken fajita breast meat we had in the freezer but instead of eating them as tacos with sour cream and cheese etc, we had the chicken meat with grilled peppers and pineapple with some rice. I measured the rice. It was yummy and I am only at 1500 cals today.

That is sooo great!!!
I also bought a new calendar/planner that I love. It's called Organizher and it's new at Target. It has a meal planning section for lunch and dinner for each day and then a weekly meal planning list in the back that you can turn over and write your corresponding grocery list on the back of and then tear it out (the pages are perfed into four sections) and take your list with you. I know there are some grocery shopping aps out there but I still like pen and paper for list making. I'm weird I know! So my new calendar fits nicely into my new lifestyle!!

K - now I need to go look for that!!!!


Eat This Instead!
Prime Minister's Prime Rib (8 ounces)
350 calories

I am not a huge steak eater but prime rib just grosses me out...seriously gives me the eebie jeebies!




** PS If these pictures are torturing you guys, please let me know and I'll quit adding them!! Don't want to make things worse on you guys! **

I loove it!!!

Problem solved! The weather finally broke around here. It stopped raining and is supposed to be in the 60s today. It was 45 this morning. So instead of going to the gym and freaking people out with my coughing, I decided to go walking outside. I did about 3 miles in less than an hour.
Great job and I am soo very proud of you!!

This reminds me of my favorite Natalie Green quote from the first season of "Facts of Life".... Yes, I am completely giving my age away...

"Who wants to be a skinny pencil? I'm happy being a magic marker!"

I have always thought my goal is to be happy and healthy: not skinny and miserable.

Yep, totally dating myself.

I remember that one too except I was the skinny pencil at the time and did not appreciate it as much!

Tracked well yesterday and scale down again today! Finished my TR so I am really proud of that!!!

Now to start the new one!

Get my niece today and tonight! Zoo tom morning!!! Good days ahead!!!

 

[Dizneydawn]

Disney QOTD:

"Keep your chin up. Someday there will be happiness again."

Robin Hood, Robin Hood

Ya know what? I have tied too much of my happiness to my weight. I have hated too much of my life because of the reflection in the mirror. Time to do something and start being happy. No matter what the scale says - I deserve to love myself!

No matter if the scale does not move down one week - I have had a ton to be glad for that week anyway!

So keep your chin up my friends. Happiness is there. We can choose to find it or we can wallow. I am going for the first.

What ARE YOU happy about today?

For me - it is that I still have 2 legs to walk on and the ability to change my future. I don't have to be an amputee.

There is a whole lot of happiness in that!

 

[Stacybaeasm]

To answer Dawn's question - I can honestly say for the first time in a long time - I am happy with my life. it's been a struggle for a year for me - going through some kind of midlife crisis, wondering if I have made the right decisions in my life, etc. BUT, I have turned that around. I found all of you. I am changing my life in some very positive ways. And it doesn't hurt that it is in the 80's today!! So, thank you to all of you. You have helped me fiind the new person I am becoming (or returning to the old person. I haven't quite figured that out yet and I am happy and grateful for all of you!

 

[Anna114]

Is anyone else in a bad psychological dieting place? I have been having to fight the desire to just call it a day for days. I feel better 45 pounds later and for some reason am just sick to death of dieting. Oddly, I've been doing well so that should be a motivator. 10 more pounds and I will be my wedding day weight but I just don't feel it like I did. I'm in 14 jeans and even that is not enough. God willing this is just a rut. My good news the only bad thing I've had in weeks was 2 pieces of pizza Monday, hadn't had pizza in over 4 months. I felt so guilty afterwards I walked 3 miles Mon night and 2 miles Tues. I haven't been cheating so at least I'm rising above my doldrums. I haven't gained any weight either. Anyone have any suggestions?? I really want to lose these last 30 pounds but I'm really tired of thinking about everything going into my stomach.

 

[Mndisneygirl]

I still love the pictures of eat this, not that! Now I can associate that food with the fact that it's bad for me.

I walked another 35 minutes at lunch today in the WARM SUN!!! It was so hard to come back into work.

I often feel like I just don't want to eat healthy after doing well for a while. I am not sure what to do other than allow myself a treat/junk food as long as I limit the amount. Then you get something you want, but it's not as harmful. I guess then you just have to remind yourself of the "prize" you're going for. It is not just a certain time frame we're looking at, we're just changing our lives so we can live them better and longer!
(I got to try to remember this myself!)

I'm going to have another test of my will tomorrow. I have to take DH to the dr. for his colonoscopy and sit there for a few hours. I'm bringing healthy snacks and reading material. Might DIS from my iphone. Then tomorrow night we have DD7's b-day party with friends, bowling, pizza and cake (which I am making!) I believe the parents can order other food from the restaurant, so I might try to find a salad or something to eat. Wish me luck!

 

[2_Eagle_Mom]

This weekend is gonna be a challenge. I love Easter candy!! I purposefully didn't buy the candies I love for the kids. I mean there aren't many candies I don't like but at least I avoided my faves. The traditional Easter meal is pretty healthy, at least for my family, so that'll be a plus. What does everyone else do for Easter dinner, if you celebrate it?

** PS If these pictures are torturing you guys, please let me know and I'll quit adding them!! Don't want to make things worse on you guys! **

I'm dreading the Easter Candy as well. We haven't bought anything yet, but I think I'm just going to get each "kid" one candy bar and then give them some cash (they are all over 18 and could use the cash instead of the candy anyways). We're going to have a bunch of people over to our house so I'll be in charge of a majority of the meal. Roast Beef, Mashed Potatoes (made low-fat) a Salad with a bunch of toppings to make your own salad and a couple of jellos, then Apple Pie and Berry Cobbler (with light ice cream). If I can stay away from the jello dishes and only have a small portion of the desserts I'll consider it a good day.

Problem solved! The weather finally broke around here. It stopped raining and is supposed to be in the 60s today. It was 45 this morning. So instead of going to the gym and freaking people out with my coughing, I decided to go walking outside. I did about 3 miles in less than an hour.

It is supposed to be nice through the weekend so I'm going to stick to just walking and maybe using some free weights at home. Hopefully the coughing will improve enough for me to head back to the gym by Monday.

I'm glad you are feeling better and were able to get out of the house. I'm in CA so I haven't ever had to deal with snowy winters, I'd probably go completely bonkers.

This reminds me of my favorite Natalie Green quote from the first season of "Facts of Life".... Yes, I am completely giving my age away...

"Who wants to be a skinny pencil? I'm happy being a magic marker!"

I have always thought my goal is to be happy and healthy: not skinny and miserable.

Yep, totally dating myself.

I'm right there with you!!! Natalie was one of my favs from that show. Wanted to be like Jo, but was a Natalie all the way (size-wise).

Is anyone else in a bad psychological dieting place? I have been having to fight the desire to just call it a day for days. I feel better 45 pounds later and for some reason am just sick to death of dieting. Oddly, I've been doing well so that should be a motivator. 10 more pounds and I will be my wedding day weight but I just don't feel it like I did. I'm in 14 jeans and even that is not enough. God willing this is just a rut. My good news the only bad thing I've had in weeks was 2 pieces of pizza Monday, hadn't had pizza in over 4 months. I felt so guilty afterwards I walked 3 miles Mon night and 2 miles Tues. I haven't been cheating so at least I'm rising above my doldrums. I haven't gained any weight either. Anyone have any suggestions?? I really want to lose these last 30 pounds but I'm really tired of thinking about everything going into my stomach.

Anna - I've been there. I was actually there for a couple of years. I had lost over 50lbs and then the thought of how long it was going to take me to lose the rest of the weight was daunting and I pretty much stayed in a rut till I found this board and sparkpeople. My suggestion to you would be to change up your program. I got tired of trying to figure out WW points so counting calories is much easier. The weekly meetings just wasn' doing it to motivate me for more than the day of the meeting - checking in daily here has been really helpful. Exercise - I HATE IT!!! I like taking walks with the hubby and dog, but that doesn't always work into the schedule. Maybe try something new. I was watching "Ruby" on TV (she was over 700lbs and through diet and exercise has dropped to 330) her therapist was telling her to change 5 things that she does that is hurting her weight loss efforts. She gave up diet soda, decided to take the stairs if possible, got rid of her BIG recliner, changed her workout program every day and tried roller skating. I'm still trying to decide what my 5 things should be. Drinking 1/2 my body weight in water is #1.

Don't give up now!!! When you have a bad day, wake up the next morning with the "Today's slate is bright and shiny" attitude and start fresh. You can do it!!!

Today is going pretty well. I really wish our weigh in day was Thursday. I swear the scale just drops on Thursday and then by Monday it jumps back up. I'm going to try and maintain the weight I am right now till Monday. I think its because I do so well with the food I bring in to work, but on the weekends there is just too many things available. Not going to give up though!!

 

[2_Eagle_Mom]

Dawn - I forgot to say thanks for the comments! I'm trying to be better about not gulping my beverages during meals. I keep meaning to bring in some gum to try and see if that works to curb my need to chew. Guess I'd never be able to do a liquid diet.

Love the quotes!!

 

[Mndisneygirl]

I really wish our weigh in day was Thursday. I swear the scale just drops on Thursday and then by Monday it jumps back up. I'm going to try and maintain the weight I am right now till Monday. I think its because I do so well with the food I bring in to work, but on the weekends there is just too many things available. Not going to give up though!!

I am the exact same way!! Starting tomorrow I have to really be careful and try harder, get more exercise during the weekend. I forgot to mention earlier, that we have not only the b-day party and Easter, but we are going to the Twins exhibition game on Saturday. Hot dogs, ice cream, pretzels, Oh MY!!!

 

[Dizneydawn]

We are going to the Twins exhibition game on Saturday. Hot dogs, ice cream, pretzels, Oh MY!!!

Jealous! Can't wait to see that place. The kids Dad has been working on it almost all winter and says he is sick of seeing it!

 

[Dizneydawn]

Good Friday Morning.

No literally!

So I have been totally on the last few days and yesterday - met my sister at a MC'D's playland to get my niece. Planned to eat there. All 4 of us studied the nutrition guideline. Literally, took it and went and sat down.

Gross and depressing is all I have to say.

An order of chicken selects is higher calories than a Big Mac.

Dan ordered a bacon ranch grilled chicken wrap and a yougurt/granola parfait.

I ordered a cheeseburger and a small fry. We both had water.

I will never, ever eat Mc'ds again if I can help it.

The calories for what I ate were high for the satisfaction I got and fullness I felt.

I felt cheated.

That is a good thing.


Will post food later today - tracked the past two days but no time to post. If I can I will later.

Have my niece and heading to a zoo to walk around and enjoy a picnic.

BE mindful and great to yourselves today!

Oh yeah - go find NBC's today show this morning on line.

They had a eat this not that special with chicken dishes - GROOOOOSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! It was in the first hour.

 

[Stacybaeasm]

The last couple of days have not been good for me. I realized this morning I have not tracked my food since Tuesday. My stomach issue has been acting up since Wednesday. Last night, it hurt so badly I couldn't eat AND I couldn't drink water. In fact, I think I only managed to get in about 12 ounces of water yesterday. I did go for a long walk but things are not looking good for me right now. On top of that, when my stomach hurts like this, I get depressed and just don't care. ARGGGGG. I need to find my motivation and force myself to drink water regardless of how it feels and eat the good foods my body needs and not the snacks I think make my stomach feel better. I clearly need to get my head back on straight.

 

[ancestry]

Slightly off topic question....Our trip to Disney is coming up in the middle of next month. We have ADRs at several of the signature restaurants. I have been looking for a light weight casual summer dress that I could wear with sandals to the restaurants that would also be comfortable to wear into a theme park if we headed straight to one of the parks after dinner. I haven't been able to find anything. I live in the middle of nowhere Maine so online is usually a better bet than in-store.

Even though I have lost weight I am still plus-sized. I don't want to spend much money because Disney is probably the only place that I will wear the dress. One I don't normally wear dresses and two hopefully I will continue to lose weight which will make the dress be too big in short order.

I did check a couple of second hand stores and haven't had much luck there either.

Does any one know of an online store that has sometime like this?

 

[Stacybaeasm]

Slightly off topic question....Our trip to Disney is coming up in the middle of next month. We have ADRs at several of the signature restaurants. I have been looking for a light weight casual summer dress that I could wear with sandals to the restaurants that would also be comfortable to wear into a theme park if we headed straight to one of the parks after dinner. I haven't been able to find anything. I live in the middle of nowhere Maine so online is usually a better bet than in-store.

Even though I have lost weight I am still plus-sized. I don't want to spend much money because Disney is probably the only place that I will wear the dress. One I don't normally wear dresses and two hopefully I will continue to lose weight which will make the dress be too big in short order.

I did check a couple of second hand stores and haven't had much luck there either.

Does any one know of an online store that has sometime like this?

I haven't been looking specifically for dresses, but try catherines.com, womanwithin.com, and jms.com. They all have really cute, fairly inexpensive plus size clothes.

 

[Anna114]

As for a dress I purchased a really nice dress in 2x from Disney. It had a Hawaiian theme with Mickey Minnie and the like. Sadly I had is sized, length wise, and now it doesn't fit. It was really pretty and a nice light weight. I'm not sure they sell it anymore but it really was lovely.

My frame of mind hasn't change, sadly. I truly appreciate all of the support. All of you were the first I turned to. I know that many of you know how I feel. I got on the scale today. Didn't gain an ounce, which is good news. I can't bring myself to cheat, I don't want to undo any of the good. My husband said to me, I would be sorry if I cheat at this point and I know he is right. Sunday will be a bad day but I'm OK with that LOL. I WILL be having a sunflower bagel and I WILL be having a jelly doughnut I have been better then good so I could. By the way, I vote no weigh in this Monday Don't want to get on the scale. Anywho, I'll stop the doggy downer thing. Thanks for listening. Come Monday those of us will cry together. LOL

 

[Mndisneygirl]

Jealous! Can't wait to see that place. The kids Dad has been working on it almost all winter and says he is sick of seeing it!

It is WAY COOL!! We got a tour/open house last weekend and got to wander around. Nicely done - doesn't feel big! We have a 20 game ticket package, so we'll be there at least 10 times this summer!

I hope the rain didn't hit before your picnic with your niece, I got soaked coming out of Target today!

Been eating crap - candy and frosting (from DD7's cake I made). Then I felt bad and ate some broccoli and tuna.

 

[luvsJack]

OMG!! Work yesterday was CRAZY!! We are off today and every student we have ever had (or so it seemed) decided they needed a transcript yesterday. I guess every college in our state is getting ready to register for summer and fall semesters. Didn't have breakfast or lunch and didn't track the 100 calorie snack packs that I did eat.

After work, took dd shopping for a phone (her german shepherd chewed hers up), looking for centerpiece ideas for ds's wedding reception and for dgd's easter gifts. Very tired and starving, we stopped at McD's.

Dawn, I know just what you mean about the "nutrition" facts of their food!! I ended up with a hamburger and fries because I was too tired and too hungry to think about it too much. So yesterday was a bust.

But, I got up this morning and worked out and have done very good so far food wise. Planning on cooking steaks on the grill tonight. (YUMMMY!) DD and I went back to town and shopped for the garden. Dh will be tilling it for me tomorrow and we will be planting tomatoes, bell pepper, lima beans, snap beans, cucumbers, yellow squash, radishes, english peas, and potatoes.

Not too worried about Easter dinner or the candy. We are all going to New Orleans. We'll be doing a lot of walking at the aquarium and then around the French Quarter. Not sure where we will end up eating, but I am determined to be careful about what I order.

 

[Dizneydawn]

Disney QOTD:

"Just do your best."

Flora, Sleeping Beauty


Stacy & Allison, Anna & all -

if we were perfect we would be rich and supermodel material.

We are human and that means learning to accept and love and thrive in the many forms our bodies take. And indulgences we sometimes cave into and sometimes walk away from.

I think that for me - when I hit my lowest in many years a few years ago and put back the 54 pounds I lost - I got scared at some level. People were paying attention to me. I was being noticed. That scared the hell out of me.

In fat there is anonymity.

It was a comfort zone to some extent. I knew fat Dawn.

Who was thinner Dawn?

I know Dawn the Mom.

I know Dawn the sister.

I know Dawn the friend.

I had no idea who I was - me.

The person who could go do what I always put off under the guise of - "When I am thin..."

Would I actually look good in the clothes I imagined myself in?

What if I took tennis and sucked at it?

I think when you doubt yourself it haunts you as a thin person or a fat person.

What if I still feel I don't fit in when I am thin?

I can use the excuse - "Well Dawn you are fat so that's why...doesn't work out."

You can fill in the blank any way you want.

A WW leader I saw lost 120 pounds.

Then gained it back.

Then 5 years later lost 140 and is now a leader.

She said for her - when she lost it all - she loved the attention from being recognized as a "big loser." Pretty soon - she was skinny and as the first year of skinny went by - nobody paid much attention to her anymore cause skinny was the norm they knew her.

Her friends got used to it.

Her family expected it.

She though, didn't feel like she was happy thin.

Reason: She had still lost if for everybody else. Nobody specifically asked her to - she just did it for the attention - not herself.

So in the end - figure out about you. Why you want it for you.

Commit to something for you that you have wanted to do thin.

I want to go to Italy.

Italy fat does not sound like a good time.

Italy with my thighs rubbing as I walk up and down stairs in towns that are old as dirt and worrying about squeezing between chairs at a quaint restaurant looking over the sea does not sound fun.

Hate to say it but at least Disney now has 2-4x clothes. It's fat friendly now. If I want a shirt I can get one.

In Italy - fashionable attire in a store I just bop into is my goal.

Something that fits in the regular people size.


For me.

Just cause I could say I can.

Even if I do not buy anything - to know I did not buy anything because I did not find anything I like - would be incredible vs I did not find anything that fit.



Ok - so I just spewed a lot out there and maybe none of it helped - just random thoughts - I need sleep!

Have a good night guys!!!

Monday will be okay as long as we are all breathing - life is good and we are blessed if we get the chance to enjoy a special meal or treat!!!

 

[2_Eagle_Mom]

Slightly off topic question....Our trip to Disney is coming up in the middle of next month. We have ADRs at several of the signature restaurants. I have been looking for a light weight casual summer dress that I could wear with sandals to the restaurants that would also be comfortable to wear into a theme park if we headed straight to one of the parks after dinner. I haven't been able to find anything. I live in the middle of nowhere Maine so online is usually a better bet than in-store.

Even though I have lost weight I am still plus-sized. I don't want to spend much money because Disney is probably the only place that I will wear the dress. One I don't normally wear dresses and two hopefully I will continue to lose weight which will make the dress be too big in short order.

I did check a couple of second hand stores and haven't had much luck there either.

Does any one know of an online store that has sometime like this?

Try junonia.com or overstock.com I'm with you on not wanting to spend a lot of $$ on clothes when I know I won't be using them again for whatever reason. Maybe we could start a little clothes exchange program. I'll bet we all have a bunch of different sizes I'd have to go up and check what I have but if you don't mind posting what size you are I could post some pictures of some thing. Sort of a virtual shopping mall. I'd be happy to send you something if it works out great! If not, at least we tried.

DD and I went back to town and shopped for the garden. Dh will be tilling it for me tomorrow and we will be planting tomatoes, bell pepper, lima beans, snap beans, cucumbers, yellow squash, radishes, english peas, and potatoes.

I've been wishing we could plant a garden this year our yard just isn't positioned so that it would work, the area that gets the sun is cement and the part that we could dig up is always in the shade. We may try and do some container gardening.

Disney QOTD:
I think that for me - when I hit my lowest in many years a few years ago and put back the 54 pounds I lost - I got scared at some level. People were paying attention to me. I was being noticed. That scared the hell out of me.

In fat there is anonymity.

It was a comfort zone to some extent. I knew fat Dawn.

Who was thinner Dawn?

I know Dawn the Mom.

I know Dawn the sister.

I know Dawn the friend.

I had no idea who I was - me.

The person who could go do what I always put off under the guise of - "When I am thin..."

Would I actually look good in the clothes I imagined myself in?

What if I took tennis and sucked at it?

I think when you doubt yourself it haunts you as a thin person or a fat person.

What if I still feel I don't fit in when I am thin?

I can use the excuse - "Well Dawn you are fat so that's why...doesn't work out."

You can fill in the blank any way you want.

Ok - so I just spewed a lot out there and maybe none of it helped - just random thoughts - I need sleep!

Have a good night guys!!!

Monday will be okay as long as we are all breathing - life is good and we are blessed if we get the chance to enjoy a special meal or treat!!!

Dawn - I can really relate to a lot of what you are saying. I think a lot of the reason that I was on my platau for such a long time. It was great to lose the weight but if I wasn't the "fat girl" then who am I? I'm finally getting to know myself and like myself a lot more. I guess for such a long time I really didn't like myself and I could always blame it on being overweight, if that goes away then what would the reason be???

I didn't track at all today and there really isn't any reason. Except for the the two mini-Reeses eggs and the 5 Cadbury solid milk chocolate mini eggs I've eaten the same calorie count as last Friday, so pretty good. I think I may be about 8oz away from my water count. Oh well. My goal tomorrow is to track my food and make good choices while I prep for Sunday dinner. I'm going to try my best to make good choices, but if I start the day saying I won't eat anything and I do then I'll just start down that slippery slope and just give up for the day. I'm WILL have a small sliver of apple pie and berry cobbler. I think I'm going to try making a small sugar free cobbler for me and my Mom (she's diabetic) so I'll get the flavor with a smaller amount of calories. Its a small thing but at least I'm not planning on going whole hog (pun intended).

 

[luvsJack]

Well, I went back to Friday on sparkpeople and tracked in what I ate. That one meal at McD's put me over for the entire day!!!!

I really thought that since I didn't actually eat a meal all day and only ate a couple of 100 cal snack packs and a muffin, I would be ok. NO! That one meal was 1200 calories! My range is 1200-1550 and that meal put me at 1770!! That really brought it to the fore front for me. NO more fast food. No matter how tired and hungry (and that is the first thing, not to allow myself to get that hungry--eat a meal not snacks all day) I am; I will not stop at McD's!



Dawn, I know exactly what you are talking about. I lost quiet a bit of weight a few years ago and gained it back and I had done the same thing after the end of my first marriage. My problem is that I have a hard time seeing myself as a "thin" person.