Ok, so remember I said yesterday I became an ordained minister? Well, here is the rough draft I have for my uncle's wedding. Give me feedback PLEASE!! Yes, its supposed to have a bit of smart alec-y-ness to it...
Welcome friends and loved ones. We are gathered here today to witness the joining of lives and the families of Renate Lynn and Joseph Mark.
Marriage is not something to be taken lightly. It is a very serious and life altering course. If any one can show just cause why they may not be lawfully joined together here today, let them speak now or forever hold their peace. Anyone? ANYBODY?? No one? Sorry Renate, I tried!
Fate has brought you full circle, from kids young and in love, to right here this very day, back to where you belong, hanging yourselves. I mean joining your lives together. What a wonder love is.
Love is patient,
love is kind.
It does not envy,
it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects,
always trusts, always hopes,
always perseveres.
Love never fails.
But where there are prophecies,
they will cease;
where there are tongues,
they will be stilled;
where there is knowledge,
it will pass away
You will find days where your love and strength are tested. Your patience will fray, and your strength will waver. But remember to look to one another and know, that now as always, there remains faith, hope and love, these three wondrous gifts; but the greatest of these is love.
Tricia to Joey:
Joseph,do you take Renate for your lawful wedded wife, to live in a state of matrimony? Will you love, honor, comfort, and cherish her from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto her for as long as you both shall live?
Joey: I do.
Will you put up with her changing moods, rub her feet when sore, help clean the house and obey her every command?
Tricia to Renate:
Renate, do you take Joseph for your lawful wedded husband, to live in the state of matrimony? Will you love, honor, comfort, and cherish him from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto him for as long as you both shall live?
Renate:
I do.
Tricia: Are you SURE?? This is the last chance... Ok, onward then...
Will you bring him beers, NOT have a headache every night(wink wink), pack his lunches and say please when you issue your commands?
Tricia to Joey: I, Joseph, take you Renate to be my wedded wife. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honor and cherish, til death us do part.
Tricia to Renate: I, Renate, take you Joseph to be my wedded husband. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honor and cherish, til death us do part.
Joseph, what token do you offer to Renate as a symbol of your commitment today?
Repeat after me: With this ring I thee wed. Let this ring stand as a symbol of our love and commitment.
Renate, What token do you offer to Joseph as a symbol of your commitment today?
Repeat after me: With this ring I thee wed. Let this ring stand as a symbol of our love and commitment.
May you be prepared to continue to give, forgive and experience more joy with every passing day and year. May you be able to stand living with each other with minimal damage when things are thrown. We hope you have loving assistance from family, the constant support of friends, and a long life with good health, lasting love, many good time drunks and more children!
Joseph and Renate, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Joey, you may kiss your bride!