Hi all.
Feeling a bit better today on some fronts and then there is the fact I have no voice so in other arenas - kids happy!
A few things:
Patrick: Awesome achievement and you are a huge motivator to young and old around here!
Lizzy - Here is my take - Sometimes life just sucks. That's it. There is no rah rah cheerleader motivational speech that can get all of us out of the funk called reality when your plate is spilling on the ground. I believe we as human beings can handle a lot and those with belief in God have better coping skills but it does not make the load lighter easier when it is just so heavy with heartache.
Take a look at your life and figure out what you can do for yourself to make things easier right now. Lighten up loads that you place on yourself but are not an absolute necessity. Ease up on the cooking and a perfect house will not make your husbands grandmother spend extra hours on this earth. Look at what is the most important for you and let the rest sit on a shelf.
Schedule times that are just for you to be alone, read, take a long shower, roll along a path and then...just let it all out. Do not be afraid to let yourself feel and you are not weak for being in tune with your emotions. Sometimes the healthiest I have felt is after a long, hard cry in the shower with nobody around, letting the water wash away the snot and the tears and the gut wrenching sobs that have no purpose but to give you the release you deserve. It's o.k. to feel.
I can't tell you how many of those moments I had when Baylor got hurt.
So take care of yourself. Please.
Julie - The bench store was flippin hysterical!
Everybody else - I will have to go back and re-read again. There was more to cheer about and more to lend a hug to and now my foggy brain has forgot!
I will weigh in tom early afternoon and post our results tom afternoon!
As a final note:
I stumbled upon a story that somehow my head was up my hiney and never saw before. It is about a wonderful husband and father who died of cancer a few years ago and was moved by Disney as a child and Disney and the rest of the world was moved by him. In fact a plaque to honor him is erected by the teacups at MK.
His name was Randy Pausch and if you have not been to his website I will put the link below. He gave a speech like other professors had at the college he was a part of called, "The Last Lecture." It was about the theory that if you were dying, what would be the last things you would want your students to know.
For him it was not a trial run, it was the real deal and he knew that and it is his legacy for his widow, his children and this world and it puts into perspective again, what is important and for me, another reason I need to take advantage of my life while I am blessed to have it to get myself to living it to the fullest and I know that at this weight, I can not honestly say I am. How a man who exercised daily, never drank and never smoked and lived a great life can get a cancer that isolates nobody can die so young is sad.
Really, it is heartbreaking.
To live my life not doing what is within my power to change what I can, is just as sad.
And so today, when I want to eat something I do not have points for, I will think of Randy, his widow and his three kids. I will put down the stupid piece of cake or chip or chocolate and think is it really worth it? And that motivation I will use tomorrow again.
http://download.srv.cs.cmu.edu/~pausch/
One day at a time until I get to the best I can be for me and for my family.
