When a nervous test taker can't pass the driver's test...

[Briarmom]

This is our second testing site. He has driven all over the routes where they go, and practiced parallel parking in the spot at the DMV. The way it works here is that you do the parallel parking first. If you don't pass that, you don't go any further. They have a 3 strikes and your done rule.

I think I would fail if you gave me that test today!

 

[DL55]

My mom knew I'd be a nervous wreck for my driving test. She told me we were going to just renew my learner's permit. When we got there she said I might as well take the test since we were there. I passed the test.

 

[mamasuf]

My 17 year old DD just got her license. She flunked the first try too and was very upset. Like your DS, she's a great driver but made a stupid mistake (forgot turn signal in the parallel parking part) and it threw her off completely. Luckily she passed the second time.

I feel you with the 6 week thing. We are in PA too and it's a nightmare to get a test time. Try checking every day for cancellations at several locations (that are convenient). She ended up taking her second test 10 days after her first because my husband checked daily for cancellations.

Here in the Philly area, you can hire a driving instructor to just take you to the test. My friend did that and it was significantly less than $500. I don't know how true it is but my DD's friends claim that you will always pass if you have a driver's instructor take you.

 

[sonnyjane]

I also got my license in PA... What...15 years ago? My mom hired a private driving instructor for me, which is better than Drivers Ed. He came once a week for the month leading up to my driving test. We practiced around my area and then for the final lesson before my test, we drove all the way to the test site from my house (about 30 minutes), ran through the test exactly as the instructors give it, then went home.

P.S. many states do NOT require parallel parking skills to grant licenses, but I'm happy that I had to learn it in PA! I'm one of the only gals in my group of friends that can parallel park comfortably!

 

[jodifla]

What kind of car is he taking the test in? Parallel parking is far easier in a small car. My cousin failed the test several times with my huge car, then passed the first time with a compact car.

 

[Jennasis]

Xanax!

Seriously, you should be working on the anxiety if he is as good a driver as you say. His skills aren't the problem. His nerves are sabotaging him. How is he at taking tests at school? Is there a counselor at school he could talk to about learning some anxiety coping skills?

 

[Deb & Bill]

Xanax!

Seriously, you should be working on the anxiety if he is as good a driver as you say. His skills aren't the problem. His nerves are sabotaging him. How is he at taking tests at school? Is there a counselor at school he could talk to about learning some anxiety coping skills?

I was going to say a little drinky poo might help. Kind of like Raj trying to talk to a girl on Big Bang Theory.

(not serious, you know).

 

[Cinderella94]

I failed my test twice. I was so upset and I swore up and down that if I didn't pass the third time, I would never have a license because I wasn't taking that test again . I passed the third time. We, too, do parallel parking first and then if you fail that, you're done. It can really throw you off your game for the rest of it. I don't really have any advice but wanted to say that I can empathize and good luck!!! He'll obviously get it eventually.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

What kind of car is he taking the test in? Parallel parking is far easier in a small car. My cousin failed the test several times with my huge car, then passed the first time with a compact car.

I actually failed that portion in a Chevette for parking too far from the curb. A bigger car all the way against the curb would have stuck out a foot further than where I was

Still passed though

 

[elgerber]

This is sooooo timely, my dd 17 just failed her first test this morning. We also have to schedule weeks and weeks or even months in advance. We have the parallel requirement. There is also one way street on the test. 4 lanes wide, and half a regular block long. I can assure you there is nowhere in this state where you would ever find that on a real road! We have some actual street test locations but they book out even further in advance. I am dreading the next test already, in 3 weeks, I hate seeing her so upset.

 

[clh2]

Poor kid My now 19yo was a sort of reluctant driver. He wasn't down at the DMV like all his friends were getting his license when he turned 16. He got his permit but was in no hurry to get his license at first. When his senior year was lurking he finally though he was ready. He failed his test twice. It left him feeling SO down after the second test.

We got him some additional private lessons so he'd get used to having someone else in the car judging him that wasn't a parent He thought it was great, calmed his nerves and he passed no problem that 3rd time. Maybe that would work for your son too. Best of luck, and tell him to hang in there!

I would totally agree with getting him an additional driving lesson. It will get him in the car with someone else. Well worth the money. Also - make sure that he "knows" the area where he will specifically be taking the test.

Good Luck!!!

 

[It'sWDW4me]

If he's driven on 78 and 22 then I agree - he's got test anxiety.

The company I work for gets international workers all the time. We use ABE Driving School. They're in Bethlehem off of Freemansburg around the 33 interchange. I think it's about $55 per hour (may be a corporate discount so maybe $75/hour regular?) and I'm pretty sure you can schedule a Saturday appointment - yep, I just checked the yellow pages... they have Saturday 7am-7pm hours and I think it can be set up that they come to you.

Having a professional instructor in the car with him for a bit could be just the thing to help get him over his anxiety.

And thank you for posting about this! DS STILL doesn't even have his permit. He took the permit test once and bombed it (he assured me ALL his friends told him how EASY it was - he didn't need to study the book! ) He's already nervous about the actual learning how to drive bit so I just might use ABE DS myself.

 

[sbtrfly74]

My DD20 took 2.5 years before she took her driving test, ok driver with ADD and anxiety issues. She didnt even pass drivers ed they told her to get some more experience and come back because she wasnt ready.

We had to rent a car because my car at the time wouldnt pass the MVA regulations (had a light on in the dash and a crack in the windshield). Go online and look at all the drivers school in your area, we found one that was great. We rented the car from them, they took her out the morning of her test for an hour and drove the exact route that MVA gives and went through the entire test a few times before her appointment. He took her to the testing center and she passed first time. Hiring someone else may get him use to having someone else he's not comfortable with in the car. Sounds completely psychological since he's a good driver.

 

[marcyinPA]

If he's driven on 78 and 22 then I agree - he's got test anxiety.

The company I work for gets international workers all the time. We use ABE Driving School. They're in Bethlehem off of Freemansburg around the 33 interchange. I think it's about $55 per hour (may be a corporate discount so maybe $75/hour regular?) and I'm pretty sure you can schedule a Saturday appointment - yep, I just checked the yellow pages... they have Saturday 7am-7pm hours and I think it can be set up that they come to you.

Having a professional instructor in the car with him for a bit could be just the thing to help get him over his anxiety.

And thank you for posting about this! DS STILL doesn't even have his permit. He took the permit test once and bombed it (he assured me ALL his friends told him how EASY it was - he didn't need to study the book! ) He's already nervous about the actual learning how to drive bit so I just might use ABE DS myself.

You know my area! Yes!! So you know exactly what I am saying! The kid has been on 22, 78, and 33 so many times now- plus he has driven all over Bethlehem, Allentown, and Easton. He took the test the first 2x in Easton- and if you know it at all- it is crazy busy over there. First time failed parking, second time didn't use his turn signal to merge, but had it on to make an immediate right (hard to explain in writing- but it was very vague). Yesterday we went to Snydersville, and he couldn't get past the parking. So annoying, since he was just there on Sunday practicing and did the parking perfectly a half dozen times. Plus, as I said, he parallel parks here at home all the time, because that is all we have.

Ok, so I did a little research last night, and I came up with our IU (Colonial). They do drivers ed for a fee. I think this might work. I asked a few local friends and they recommended one of the instructors there, and that instructor actually gives the test- so he won't have to go to the DMV. My DH is calling today to see if they can work with us through my DS's crazy summer.

This is definitely an anxiety issue (test-wise). I think he totally has that self-fulfilling prophecy now too- he failed three times, and he will fail again. In fact, he kept saying "I'm such a failure" after the test yesterday.

I hope this drivers ed thing works out!! (I also hope he didn't "age out" because he graduated...)

 

[mom2rtk]

Oh my! You are completely describing my 20 year old!

He never wanted to drive so I didn't push him. His younger brother was chomping at the bit to drive and got his permit on his 15th birthday and license on his 16th birthday. But the older one just had no interest. And I figured I didn't want a reluctant driver on the road. So I didn't push. (I wish now I had!)

Fast forward to age 18 and he chose a college about a half hour drive from home. He had to commute. It would require city driving during rush hour.

He finally got a permit and practiced all summer. But then came the driving test.......... he was so nervous he couldn't remember where we had parked the car! And the examiner was NOT nice about it. She flunked him for some small violation before they even left the parking lot. He was mortified. And a mess.

We were closing in on school starting and didn't know what to do. We drove. And drove. And drove.

Then it occurred to me that some of it was his nerves related to driving with an authority figure in such close proximity sitting in the car. So we hired a big burly guy (who used to be a police officer) to give him some driving instruction.

He passed his test 2 days before classes started. Sending him out on that car to school that first day was crazy nerve-wracking for all of us. Just a really awful experience. And I have the gray hair to prove it.

Hang in there. Fingers crossed you can get this behind you soon.

 

[It'sWDW4me]

You know my area! Yes!! So you know exactly what I am saying! The kid has been on 22, 78, and 33 so many times now- plus he has driven all over Bethlehem, Allentown, and Easton. He took the test the first 2x in Easton- and if you know it at all- it is crazy busy over there. First time failed parking, second time didn't use his turn signal to merge, but had it on to make an immediate right (hard to explain in writing- but it was very vague). Yesterday we went to Snydersville, and he couldn't get past the parking. So annoying, since he was just there on Sunday practicing and did the parking perfectly a half dozen times. Plus, as I said, he parallel parks here at home all the time, because that is all we have.

Ok, so I did a little research last night, and I came up with our IU (Colonial). They do drivers ed for a fee. I think this might work. I asked a few local friends and they recommended one of the instructors there, and that instructor actually gives the test- so he won't have to go to the DMV. My DH is calling today to see if they can work with us through my DS's crazy summer.

This is definitely an anxiety issue (test-wise). I think he totally has that self-fulfilling prophecy now too- he failed three times, and he will fail again. In fact, he kept saying "I'm such a failure" after the test yesterday.

I hope this drivers ed thing works out!! (I also hope he didn't "age out" because he graduated...)

Awww, poor dude. Has he driven the circle in Easton?? If so... let him know that my aunt REFUSES to drive the circle. She very nearly had a full blown panic attack one day many years ago (she might have been 40 at the time so not a new driver by any means) while we were driving down Northampton St. I was gonna have her make that right turn about a block or so before the circle and she started panicking about 4 blocks out. Same aunt also is terrified of 22 (and this was back in the 80's/early 90's - way before the mess it is today!) and will NOT drive anywhere in Allentown.


So, no, he's so NOT a failure.. just nervous. It's amazing how anxiety can make you go completely blank as if you've never done or seen things that you've done a million times before! I do hope Colonial can get him over this hump and he has his official DL in hand after his next test.

 

[momof5boys]

Marcy, my son and nephew both failed at Easton. I was able to get an appointment 2 weeks out down in Malvern ( down the turnpike off 76) it was quite a ride but they have several testers. My son was so nervous but he passed. I do think you may be better off getting an instructor that can then test him, that way he would be used to the person and know he has seen him drive well! Back when the school had drivers Ed the instructor could test the kids, my oldest took his test that way, so easy!

My 16 yo won't even discuss getting his permit, I can't even get that kid to drive the go karts at the beach! He's going to be a tough one!

Good luck, he'll get it!

 

[DeaverTex]

I flunked my behind the wheel test MISERABLY the first time. I was a VERY hesitant driver, and nervous, and intimidated by a rude and , and I managed to clip one of the uprights when parallel parking -- automatic failure. Mrs. Tex flunked her first time, too, for similar reasons.

The only thing to do is to keep trying. Your DS might try remembering that the examiner doesn't know how good a driver he is, and that he or she is quite possibly as nervous as your DS.

 

[Skippy918]

This happened to me! I failed my test 3 times my senior year and finally passed on the 4th try. I got so nervous and anxious and made so many mistakes so I failed. I think on the last go around, I had to use some deep breathing techniques to relax. It was so long ago, I don't remember what else calmed my nerves. I took my test in Brooklyn. I passed it a week before I went off to college.