What's the longest you dated somebody in hs/college?

[Tiggeroo]

My dd has been dating the same young man off and on all thru high school and now during freshman year of college. They have not really dated anybody else, although they have during a couple brief seperations gone on a few dates. He is a very nice, responsible man, and my dd is a great girl. But I worry about them never seeing other people. I thought this might bite the dust when they went off to college. It's not that I don't want my dd with this guy, she could meet and date people I truly don't like. It's just that I wonder what will happen if they never date anybody else, and end up getting married.
Also, even more then a couple they are best friends. If it should end it would be devastating for both of them. They would lose their closest friend. Since she is 18 I really don't have a say in this. I am just thinking about talking to her about this. Not that she would really listen.
Any thoughts.

 

[Tiggerlover91]

DH and I dated for 3 years before we got married.

 

[mtemm]

I started dating my hs boyfriend when I was not quite 16... feb of sophomore year. We broke up once, but got back together not long after and continued dating into college. In fact (and this was a big mistake on my part) he ended up disrupting his life and moving 3000 miles to be near me when I went away to a different college for my sophomore year in college. I moved in August. He moved in October. By September I knew he shouldn't come, but didn't know what to say...broke up with him the day I saw him in October.

But that is my life, and I came to terms with the horrible thing I did a long time ago. He's very happy now...didn't take long and he was married with children.

Honestly, I knew he wasn't the one from the beginning, but I stayed with him out of comfort, and because he really was a nice guy. Once away at school I became much more independant, developed other interests.

If its meant to be it will be, whether you want it to or not.

I dated my next boyfriend for almost 2 years. I tend to be more of a relationship person...never could get the hang of *************, especially dating more than 1 person at once.

By the way, the second man was definitely w/o a doubt my best friend...and it was devastating. But I did get over it. And eventually found my husband...who is w/o a doubt my very, very best friend.

 

[skuttle]

DH and I started dating in highschool in 1994 (DH senior; I was a soph)...we were married in 2000. DH is two years older than me and we went to different colleges 3 hours apart, which i really think was a good thing for us. DH moved down here in 1998. We did break up for a few months while in college, but then DH came to his senses.

 

[Blueberry]

I dated a guy in HS for 18 months...we broke up after i got out of hs....

 

[browneyes]

I didn't date much. In high school, I went out with a guy about 4 times or so. A friend of mine coerced me into taking him to my Prom. It wasn't a serious relationship at all. I didn't date anyone in college, unless you want to count my SO, but we had been together about 3 years before I went to college.

I had 2 friends that dated in high school. They dated for about the last 3 years of high school, and a year and a half or so of college. They had similiar friends and it really divided a lot of us when they broke up.

 

[bsnyder]

I dated the same guy, very seriously, for the last two years of high school and the first two years of college. He was definitely my first true love and I really thought we would end up getting married!

Luckily, we somehow remained friends after our breakup. He and his family live around the corner from us and we go to the same small church. I've gotten to know his wife quite well through church activities. Also, he's a local custom home builder, and built our house for us 8 years ago. Might be strange for some people, but it works for us.

Tigeroo, my younger DS is a junior in high school and has had the same girlfriend since 8th grade. They've had several small breakups but always maintained their close friendship, even while briefly dating other people.

 

[Princess Michelle]

I dated a guy off and on for close to 2 years when I was 16-18. Little did I know he was dating someone else at the same time. He ended up marrying her.

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

Well, DH and I started dating at the end of Sophomore year in HS, we had become best friends first. We dated exclusively for 7 years, and have now been married for almost 12, so all in all we will have been happily together for 19years!!!


I know you want to protect you DD from heartache, but nothing is better than marrying your best friend and highschool sweetheart!


You wrote....It's just that I wonder what will happen if they never date anybody else, and end up getting married.


What is soooo wrong with that???? You seem to have such a negative attitude about it. Like I said I understand you want to protect your DD, but since you said such wonderful things about your DD and such wonderful things about her boyfriend, I don't understand what it is that is so bad. You also said that you know she could start dating people you don't like. Then that would REALLY cause her some heartache. If you don't like him it will cause tension and if the guy isn't good for her, then it could be very hurtful in many ways to her.

So I am really confused. If he truly is a great guy, rejoice in the fact she has found a nice, responsible guy. If it is meant to be, then it will, and hopefully they too will have ever lasting joy.

My DH is the best thing that ever happened to me, and I thank God he was brought into my life.

 

[ltldeb]

I didn't date much in high school. Was having too much fun. I did date my DH for 3 1/2 years before we got married.

 

[Pin Wizard]

DH and I dated 4 1/2 years before we got married. I was 24 when we started dating. Unfortunately, he's no longer here. But I still think of the boy I danced with in 8th grade! Freshman year of high school we sent notes back and forth. LOL! I knew that my parents wouldn't let me date him "because my sisters couldn't date until they were 15." But you know what? We never dated at all and sometimes I really feel like I missed out on something major with him. But I once found him online and we correspond every once in a while. Like tonight!! Am I beaming?

 

[Tiggeroo]

In my heart I would love to see my dd stay with the boy. But what worries me is that it is a safe, comfortable, familiar relationship. That never seeing other people will keep them from becoming independent, from maybe learning about themselves. I wouldn't be against them ending up marrying. This boy is like a part of our family. I just worry. You would see me on here worrying if they broke up, as well. LOL. the stress of being a mother.
Most of her hs friends who were couples have broken up already. My dd and her boyfriend right now go to college 4 hours apart. Just, sometimes it sounds like they might make college/grad school plans based on being together.

 

[Buckalew]

Pin Wizard...yes, you are beaming.


Tiggeroo,
I dated the same boy from the time I was 16yo til I was 20yo. He was a great person and we never fought--never broke up until I met DH. It was a tough breakup but one he handled well (ie. no acting weird or stalking type of behavior). I saw him a few months ago and it was great. I am happy that life took the turn that it did but can look back on those 4 years and know that I spent those years with someone I loved and who loved me.

I understand your concern. I hope they are mature enough to see past the comfort and the familiarity of the relationship and that they have what it takes to make a marriage work w/o ever wondering about the grass on the otherside of the fence. And yes, I think I would talk to her about it. I'd put an idea in her head so she can kick it around. Maybe they have already thought about these things and maybe they haven't. This way she will never say ,"Mom, you should have..." Best of luck to them. First Love is a wonderful thing.

 

[Serena]

I dated one guy for 1 1/2 years in highschool.
I was friends with another one for 2 years before we started dating. Another year and a half and I eventually married him, after I graduated.

 

[bridgettesmom]

I dated my college boyfriend for 3 years.Then, I started to work part time while in school and I realized there were more fish in the sea!!....It was a good thing too, he lives in a farm and I'm a city girl.We are both married now and he married the perfect woman for him and I married the perfect man for me.We still keep in contact....So, have faith in your daughter to chose the right person for her.

 

[higgin704]

I dated this guy my senior year of high school (his junior year) He was such a conservative and I was such a wild child. He insisted on opening doors and pulling out chairs. Never let me pay when we went out. Never let me lift heavy objects. Asked if he could kiss me for the first time. He was so intolerable I just had to marry him.

angie <- married to Dave nearly 8 years, together for almost 12

 

[cuterlt]

Started dating my BF in college, kept dating him for 16 years, had a couple years off during that time as I went out of state for school. I found him cheating on me on my 35th birthday, and I dumped him, never to date him again. I saw him once more, after I had met someone else many months later. He begged me to marry him. I said no. I had a couple other dates with other guys during the 16 years - when we would be on a break, but they didn't last too long.

 

[CourtasanSatine]

I'm still with my bf and we met in college(and made it 7 months of a long distance romance,see Happy Grilfriend Moment for the good news )

 

[snoopy]

I dated my now-husband starting at age 13 and continued dating only him until we got married, with a year-long break in college.

I was in college in New York, he was in Maryland, and during that year we were seperated we dated other people, nothing too seriously. He eventually missed me so much he transferred to NYU for his junior and senior year.

My mother had a lot of the same worries as you do, tiggeroo. She wanted me to experience life to its fullest, and never wanted me to tie down to one guy so early, although they really like my future DH. The highest compliment she and my Dad paid me was on my wedding day, when they told me we made the right decision sticking to each other. And they were right, we've had an easy and happy marriage for the past 16 years.

 

[dianeschlicht]

I dated the same person from junior year of high school and all the way through college ( even though we went to different schools on opposite ends of the state). We were married after 4 yeears of dating, and now we have been married nearly 35 years. Don't worry. Sounds like they are building a great realtionship.