What's the difference between Hugh Hefner and Polygamists?

[Conservative Hippie]

I thought it was a great question by the OP.
-This is also another opportunity to recommend one of the best books I've read in years. Jon Krakauer, the author of "Into Thin Air" (A great book about an ill-fated Everest expedition), wrote a book called "under The Banner Of Heaven". It starts as an investigation into the murder of a polygamist wife and her child, and uses that as a springboard into an examination of the whole relationship between government and religion. As good an eye-opener as I've read in a long time.

Thanks!

I have also read Under the Banner of Heaven, and I thought it was very interesting.

 

[MAKmom]

A closet full of silk bathrobes?

 

[Crankyshank]

And as my good friend countered when he heard of Nepal, "And none of the husbands are in town at the same time!" Nepal's polyandry came about due to the husbands being traders and being on the very dangerous road for long periods of time. The women still needed to be cared for, therefore, multiple husbands are allowed in that culture.


Brandie

It's common in some tribes in Africa as well. In case the lions get the husbands I guess

 

[LadyShiva]

It's common in some tribes in Africa as well. In case the lions get the husbands I guess

Nah, that's 'cause those tribes are matriarchial versus patriarchial. Men acquire social and financial status from their wife, versus vice versa.

Told ya, I gots some weeeeird books in college.

Brandie

 

[ZephyrHawk]

Wherever you find polyandry you find some severe lack of a basic life staple which has resulted in the somewhat odd arrangement. Mind you, it's only odd to us because humans, as a species, lean toward polygyny (or several females per male). As such, social systems that go against our usual tendencies seem weird or wrong. Monogamy is not the most common form of marriage arrangement in the world, however, since it is usually harder to provide for more than one wife, most polygamist societies have many mongamous pairs.

Curiously, marmosets and tamarins (small south american monkeys) do tend to live polyandrously. The females invariably give birth to twins, which weigh about 50% of the monther's body weight. As such, the girls need a lot of male support to raise the children.

I apparently studied the same strange college texts as LadyShiva.

 

[LadyShiva]

Wherever you find polyandry you find some severe lack of a basic life staple which has resulted in the somewhat odd arrangement. Mind you, it's only odd to us because humans, as a species, lean toward polygyny (or several females per male). As such, social systems that go against our usual tendencies seem weird or wrong. Monogamy is not the most common form of marriage arrangement in the world, however, since it is usually harder to provide for more than one wife, most polygamist societies have many mongamous pairs.

Curiously, marmosets and tamarins (small south american monkeys) do tend to live polyandrously. The females invariably give birth to twins, which weigh about 50% of the monther's body weight. As such, the girls need a lot of male support to raise the children.

I apparently studied the same strange college texts as LadyShiva.

Thinking about it, I think the concentration on monogamy in Eastern and Western civilizations can be attributed to the rise of monotheistic, patriarchial religions. I included patriarchial because off hand, I can think of a few religions that have a main goddess figure but do not require monogamy from a female. But I think the introduction of a god forces the realignment of sexual relations against women being consenting and powerful equals and into being non-consenting participants (such as the origination of "chattel").

Because the US is so heavily Christian, I think the idea of a woman being a consenting, willing, and powerful equal to a male is not as acceptable as other cultures.

What do you think?
Brandie

 

[RealMickeysGirl]

I like the show Big Love, don't get to watch it very often but I see it when I can. I also wondered about the married/not married thing (legally that is).

What do you think about multiple men and women living together? I saw an episode of Penn and Teller's BS that was on polyamorous (I think that is what it was called) people. There was a married couple, the wife's boyfriend and the husband's girlfriend. They were all happy with the situation. The married couple had 2 or 3 kids - I think high school and college aged - they talked with one of the sons and he didn't seem to have a problem with his parent's relationships.

I just don't know how this would work - It seems to me that when you get more than two people involved, someone would end up feeling slighted or get their feelings hurt or be dumped by the others.

 

[Mean Queen]

I honestly think most of Hef's relationship with the girls is just for the show and PR. He does seem to have a romantic relationship with Holly, but the other girls seem more like his daughters from the way he kisses them. But the concept of him and 3 girls makes for a great TV show and lots of press.

 

[Beth76]

I honestly think most of Hef's relationship with the girls is just for the show and PR. He does seem to have a romantic relationship with Holly, but the other girls seem more like his daughters from the way he kisses them. But the concept of him and 3 girls makes for a great TV show and lots of press.

From what I've read--I won't repeat here, you might want to try a google search--I can assure you that Hef does not consider those girls to be like daughters. And the multiple girlfriend thing was not created for the show nor is it new. He's always had mulitple "official" girlfriends (and mulitple "unofficial"). Even just a few years ago he had 7--Holly was one of the seven.

 

[cheerforchelsea]

I love the Girls Next Door (even though I am old enough to be their mom)!!

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

If I am not mistaken, I believe that Hugh Hefner is still legally married and has 2 young sons.

 

[momof2inPA]

I've never seen Girls Next Door, but do those girls actually sleep with Hefner? How could they? Yuk. Aren't they just paid to be there to give him the aura of virility?

 

[KristaTX]

I have never seen the show and have no desire to. But I do wonder one thing after reading through this thread. If Hugh Hefner is free to have 3 partners, are all three of these women also perfectly free to see have at least 2 other men on the side ?

 

[maelstrom]

Two of my favourite shows!

I have absolutely no problem with polygamy amongst legal consenting adults. I do not agree with anyone, polygamist or not, trying to get into the sack with a fourteen year old girl. I think that the polygamists who engage in this type of behaviour give a bad name to polygamy in general, which is unfortunate for the regular folks just trying to live their lives with multiple spouses. If you aren't molesting underage girls and you aren't frauding the government, I see no reason why you can't have multiple spouses.

Hugh Hefner is still married to Kimberly Conrad and she lives right next door to the mansion. Hef is living a polygamist lifestyle, though he isn't doing it for religious reasons. This isn't something new for Hef, either. He's had a steady train of beautiful women in and out of the Playboy mansion for decades. Someone just decided it'd make a good tv show. I have no problems with Hef's arrangement either. Holly, Bridget, & Kendra are all legal adults, and if they want to live with Hef, that's their business. He seems like he genuinely cares about them and provides for them. It's not a bad gig, in my opinion.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Right Hef has been doing this for decades, except when he was married to Kimberley.

Nothing new, really. In fact he had MORE women living him PRIOR to the TV show. His normal number is 7, I think.

Wonder what happened there?

 

[Mean Queen]

Right Hef has been doing this for decades, except when he was married to Kimberley.

Nothing new, really. In fact he had MORE women living him PRIOR to the TV show. His normal number is 7, I think.

Wonder what happened there?

Maybe 7 women didn't make as good a TV show as the 3? I can't imagine how stupid the ones they cut were. Kendra is a real piece of work with her ghetto act and diamond grill.

 

[Beth76]

I've never seen Girls Next Door, but do those girls actually sleep with Hefner?

Yes they do.

 

[Crankyshank]

Nah, that's 'cause those tribes are matriarchial versus patriarchial. Men acquire social and financial status from their wife, versus vice versa.

Told ya, I gots some weeeeird books in college.

Brandie

I know. I was saying that tongue in cheek.I also read some pretty random things
There are matriarchial tribes in Africa with several wives as well because the wives are status (along with cows) and also because they help out with all of the work that needs to be done in the house and taking care of the cows.
I don't blame them. I think I'd take another wife over another husband if I had that much to do around the house.

 

[Tiggeroo]

Originally Posted by momof2inPA View Post
I've never seen Girls Next Door, but do those girls actually sleep with Hefner?
Yes they do.

I don't really believe this either. I"m not saying it's never ever happened, just that at this point I think he considers Holly his gf and the others are for show. I can't help watching the show even though I"m bothered by certain implications.

 

[Conservative Hippie]

I don't really believe this either. I"m not saying it's never ever happened, just that at this point I think he considers Holly his gf and the others are for show. I can't help watching the show even though I"m bothered by certain implications.

I know...I feel like I'm being such a hypocrite, because I think Playboy and the whole lifestyle is immoral, but it is entertaining. They are free to do what they want and I am free to watch it, even if I am chastising myself in the process.