whatever happened to....

[live4christp1]

Another vote for please & thank you! Also want to add......smile......have you ever noticed when the people running the register etc. just look like they aren't having the best day etc......SMILE......I've found most of the time they will smile back. Smiles are free to give away!!!!!!

My kids have always been taught please & thank you and DS always holds the door for others. DD would but most of the time she doesn't weigh enough to hold those big doors open.

 

[Handbag Lady]

We are please and thank you people!

I wish we had kids, then we'd teach them.

I wish my husband was a door-opener and holder and fill the gas tank guy.

Unfortunately, the girlfriend just before me was a stark raving mad militant feminist and filled his head with all kinds of poop about why it is demeaning. I've told him a hundred times it is respectful and not demeaning, but she berated him so much, he doesn't know what to think. And we've been together 14 years now. (But, the benefit is that he doesn his own laundry.)

I'd like to punch her in the face, frankly!

 

[DVC Sadie]

I have to say that I am saddened to think that basic manners are not being taught as much as they use to be, even here in the south.

When I lived in Maryland I didn't hear please, thank you, you're welcome or excuse me as much as I did in the south especially from younger adults.

 

[KAMLEM]

It really bothers me when I give girls from DD's soccer team a ride and they don't say thank you. Of course this comes from the same 2 girls who I need to remind to put on their seat belts EVERY SINGLE TIME they get in my car, but that's another thread altogether.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

I'm finding that when I shop, I'm the only one saying "Thank you". It seems like cashiers and sales clerks have been allowed to let those words leave the transaction and replace with whatever nicety they chose, like "Have a Nice Day', or even worse, "You're Welcome"! Seriously, I am the customer and I say "thank you" and the cashier tells me I'M welcome?

 

[zachnsamsmommy]

I'm a good ole Southern girl...so 'please' and 'thank you' are just common courtesy, IMO. But all you PP are right...I don't hear it much anymore.

My DS2 is a late talker, and has had to have lots of speech therapy. But guess what some of his first words are..."peez" and "tank ooh". And we get lots of smiles when he says them in that cute little toddler voice.

 

[NotUrsula]

My 2yo says Please and Thank You all the time -- not a problem with her.

My 12yo? Like pulling teeth. We prompt him EVERY SINGLE TIME we hand him anything or respond to any request. He has Asperger's, and he thinks that politeness rituals are pointless, so he resists as a matter of principle.
I just keep prompting, and trying to remind him that manners are supposed to be automatic, like breathing. (He then likes to point out that failure to breathe causes death, so don't I think that the comparison is a bit ridiculous? Aspies -- argh!)

Mind you, I do think that the "How are you?" "I'm fine, thanks" ritual IS pretty stupid. It's not like anyone wants to hear a real answer to the question. Trust me as the mom of an Aspie, when you tell people the truth about how you're feeling, they stop asking, LOL!

 

[FireDancer]

I find the extra millisecond it takes to say please or thank you makes most interactions runs more smoothly. It also makes people feel appreciated. Same goes with some eye contact and a hand shake in the appropriate situations.

 

[MiniGirl]

Yep, we are "please" and "thank you" people in our family as well. We get compliments on our children's manners all the time. Wait staff and clerks always tell us they nevre hear children saying please and thank you when asking for and receiving a glass of water, etc. Now, while compliments are always nice, I'd much prefer it if their behavior were more commonplace. Meaning children saying these things were more common rather than odd.

Forgot to add. The other item that DH is drilling into the almost 15 year old, is opening and closing the car door for a lady. DH has done this for me for years. DH is making DS open the car door for his sister, in practice for when he gets a girlfriend of his own. DH told him, it doesn't matter if she is just a friend or one that you are dating, you hold the door open for them. DS thought DH and I were the only ones who do this, until on Saturday, a family had just parked and was exiting their car as we were getting back in ours, and the hubby in that family pointed us out to his son and said see, I told you we weren't the only ones who it. It is a custom that isn't seem much any more.

My dh holds the door for me as well -- not when we're getting out but always when we're getting in. I'm always amazed when I see these guys getting out of a car and start walking towards the store. Then I'll see the woman almost having to run to catch up to him -- sometimes with a baby in tow. He doesn't even wait for her to get out. I have also seen guys letting the women they're with carry all the bags and push the baby strollers, etc, while they are carrying nothing. Then they'll get to the car and get in leaving their wife/girlfriend to put the bags, baby, stroller, etc in the car. Crazy!!

 

[pixiewings71]

DBF holds doors for me, but he rarely opens my car door for me. I usually just beat him to it, but sometimes he will say "stay there" and go open it for me.

 

[coolbeans]

It was "give me this" or "get me that." .

I hear that a lot too where I work and it KILLS me beyond belief to hear it!!

I also hate it when people put their hand out without saying a word and expect you to kindly put a pen in their hand.. I always ignore the hand till the mouth speaks.. then they look at me like I'm the rude one... ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU all soo much for your responses...

 

[::Snow_White::]

I'm very impressed with my school, that most of the kids there say Please and Thank You and Excuse me all the time. I'm used to saying it a lot too and it makes me feel good when someone says it to me or when I say it to someone.

 

[AlleyKat]

PLEASE and THANK YOU....

are they really that outdated??

They went the same route as "Excuse me", I'm sorry", After you", etc., down the toilet years ago!

It's "inbred" ignorance, sheer laziness and a general lack of concern for others!

Etiquette, a steady "diet" of church, and common sense has been sorely lacking for decades, in this country(world actually)!

 

[krcit]

I'm finding that when I shop, I'm the only one saying "Thank you". It seems like cashiers and sales clerks have been allowed to let those words leave the transaction and replace with whatever nicety they chose, like "Have a Nice Day', or even worse, "You're Welcome"! Seriously, I am the customer and I say "thank you" and the cashier tells me I'M welcome?

I'm a bit confused by this. I was always taught that the proper response to 'thank you' is 'you're welcome'. I understand that you're saying the cashier SHOULD say 'thank you' but if they don't and I say 'thank you' to them, what should they say in response? I would rather hear a 'you're welcome' than a 'uh-huh' or a 'yep' or just stony silence, lol. Those responses drive me batty!

 

[Tink888]

Add me to the list of please, thank you and excuse me. I like to say it and I like to hear it.

I'm also one of those people who likes saying "Have a nice day". And when I do, you'd think I was from Mars from some of the reactions. I know a lot of people think it's over used, but really, I sincerely want you to have a nice day, ya know?