Whatever happened to social etiquette? B'day Party.

[HeatherC]

To keep it short....having a b'day pool party for my 9 year old dd. Invited 9 kids. Three never called to rsvp either way. But they told my dd several times at school that they were definitely coming. None showed or called.
Another one asked my dd at school if she could bring her sister...said ok. Then they don't come.
One mother calls me to drive her kid to the party but never mentions how the kids supposed to get home. This girl along with another one is still here an hour after the invitation said....no phone call or anything.

Other girl's mom tells me she is definitely coming and is a no show.

Two others were polite. They called to rsvp, showed up on time and picked their child up on time and said thank you.

Is it me or are some people rude and inconsiderate?

Luckily I don't have to be anywhere this afternoon, but I still can't belive people do this. And it's not the first party this has happened at. It seems to be a common story with b'day parties.

When my one dd was in first grade I had a mom drive up the driveway....let out 2 kids....one who was not even invited (sister) and drove away. Then she finally showed up two and a half hours after the party ended. I couldn't believe it. She dropped two of her kids off at a house where she had never met the parents before for over 5 hours. No apologies or anything.

Thanks for letting me vent!

 

[PrincessBelle09]

Wow, that is crazy. I do not have kids yet, but I do not remember my mom having problems with parents being quite that rude while I was growing up. I have heard my mom mention a few recent incidents with my much younger sister's friends that were quite shocking to me.

I'm sorry to hear about your birthday party troubles and hope future parties go much more smoothly...and that the parents eventually show up to get their kids!

 

[NeedaVacation03]

Sorry that your experience was so terrible. I do think that it is typical now though. It is bad that the birthday child has to experience the not knowing who is coming though. I hope that your DD had a good time anyway.
My oldest DD is 16, the youngest is 5. I have stopped parties a long time ago. I have decided that the youngest will probably be the most depreived child in her class. I have had enough of rude parents. I love the kids, but the parents make me crazy. My kids can have 3 kids over and we do something special. They are kids that I know their parents and they know me. I have dd's that are 13 and 10 also. As an example we are having an Eclipse party for DD13 on Tuesday. She turns 14 on Thursday. Movie tickets, big blow out Twilight party foods before we go and 3am breakfast food when we get home. DD10's party is going to be paintball with friends and family in the fall. Those are the parties that we do.

 

[buzz2400]

I stopped having birthday parties for my son years and years ago because of this. I would send out the birthday cards and no one would rsvp. I would then have to call to find out who was going to show up. I hated it. After a while I just threw money at my son and said happy birthday. He seemed to like getting the money instead of the parties and I didn't have to bother with all the rude parents.

Anyway, I hope that your daughter still had a very nice birthday.

 

[21yankees]

I am so sorry that this has happened to you.

I hate when additional kids show up that weren't planned for. I wish people would remember to RSVP and follow the show/end times.

steph

 

[CTdiznymom]

Is it me or are some people rude and inconsiderate?

No, it isn't you and yes they're both. Very sad and very frustrating

 

[HeatherC]

Thanks guys! She did have a great day...and still is...because two of the kids are STILL here! Wondering when their parents notice they aren't home and decide to come get them.

I have stopped the parties with my older two, but felt bad for the youngest one. Feel like she gets short-changed with things like that. But I think this is the last one. I'll make sure she has a grand old time next year.....but we'll do something special with maybe our immediate family and one friend.

At least the pool is getting plenty of use!

 

[scrapbookmommy]

Birthday etiquette is a biggie for me and honestly DH's family is the worst offenders. This is the reason I do not invite them to any of my kids parties any more. A few years ago BIL came with his daughter didn't bring a gift or card or anything. Ate a big supper (I always have a meal at our parties) then we he left he asked for extra goodie bags to take home. My SIL's are notorious for not bringing anything and then telling my kids they forgot to get something but they will leave it at MIL's house then they never do. And it's not that my kids are in "need" of anything but when you tell a kid you will leave them a birthday gift that child expects it. Graduation for my oldest was the same thing. DH has 4 brothers/sisters and none of them gave my son anything not even a card in recognition of his accomplishment. What makes it even worse is my BIL was the high school principal at my sons school!

 

[traviesojmt]

Sorry that your experience was so terrible. I do think that it is typical now though. It is bad that the birthday child has to experience the not knowing who is coming though. I hope that your DD had a good time anyway.
My oldest DD is 16, the youngest is 5. I have stopped parties a long time ago. I have decided that the youngest will probably be the most depreived child in her class. I have had enough of rude parents. I love the kids, but the parents make me crazy. My kids can have 3 kids over and we do something special. They are kids that I know their parents and they know me. I have dd's that are 13 and 10 also. As an example we are having an Eclipse party for DD13 on Tuesday. She turns 14 on Thursday. Movie tickets, big blow out Twilight party foods before we go and 3am breakfast food when we get home. DD10's party is going to be paintball with friends and family in the fall. Those are the parties that we do.

My DD is turning 7 today. I invited 4 girls to spend the night last night. I personally called or emailed each parent. Two of the girls were going to be out of town this week and 2 of the girls spent last night with us. We went out to a local pizza place for lunch where another good friend met us (he is a boy, so he wasn't invited to sleepover) and then I took all of the kids to paint pottery. It turned out great. No worries about RSVPing. In the end, I spent less than I would have if I had thrown a big class party and I think that kids had more fun. We tried the class party last summer and the RSVP rate was way under 50%.

 

[1-disneyfan]

Yes, Yes they are very rude . We have a circle of close knit friends, so it really doesn't happen to my DD6...yet. But, have gone to many parties with DD that this has happened! I really don't understand how you can leave your child at a person's house you don't even know!! the last one both my husband and myself stayed, new friend just moved here and they had a few adult friends over......not going to happen it was Feb. and one of the parents friend dressed up as the easter bunny??? can you imagine how you would feel walking into a birthday party and having your child sitting on a strangers lap dressed as the easter bunny!!! What the Heck are people thinking?

 

[Gr8t Fan]

Birthday etiquette is a biggie for me and honestly DH's family is the worst offenders. This is the reason I do not invite them to any of my kids parties any more. A few years ago BIL came with his daughter didn't bring a gift or card or anything. Ate a big supper (I always have a meal at our parties) then we he left he asked for extra goodie bags to take home. My SIL's are notorious for not bringing anything and then telling my kids they forgot to get something but they will leave it at MIL's house then they never do. And it's not that my kids are in "need" of anything but when you tell a kid you will leave them a birthday gift that child expects it. Graduation for my oldest was the same thing. DH has 4 brothers/sisters and none of them gave my son anything not even a card in recognition of his accomplishment. What makes it even worse is my BIL was the high school principal at my sons school!

I think we may have the same inlaws. I could have completely written your post except for the very last line.

 

[SnowWhite2]

I had a party for DD at a lazer tag place. One of the parents did show up on time to pick the kid up but the mother was drunk! Yep, that was the last party.

 

[leebee]

My sister is the worst of the bunch, I think. She accepts any and all invitations for her kids and then on the day of the event, they decide which to go to. Her reasoning is that they are children and can't be expected to make a decision in advance, and if they accept the "wrong" invitation, her children will be upset because of missing the one they decide (now) that they want to go to and won't have a good time at the one they end up at. I think this is just an excuse for bad behaviour and self-centeredness!!! We don't bother to invite them to anything anymore, because DD (who is now 15) has been so disappointed on more than one occasion!

 

[the Fidge]

Get out the sleeping bags they maybe there for the night! I asked a Mom once about her RSVP she said whats that????? I feel your agony, I had a Mom ask for my leftovers and found her head in my fridge as she was taking out what I had made for dinner for the following evening???? BTW it wasn't due to lack of food ...had burgers, hot dogs, baked ziti, mac n cheese, chicken nuggets, veggie platters, chips dips and a 5 ft hero. Another one dropped off her classmate with their special needs younger child without any diapers etc! My son was 8 and I had to send hubby out for a diaper run! The child left here it seems Mom went out partying like a rockstar since she decided I was having a sleepover!

Thank God I now take him to Disney or some other vacation for his birthdays much easier!

Oh did I mention only 4 of the 18 kids gave him a card and gift, I was so hoping the magician I had for the party was going to make ME disappear!

 

[mjkacmom]

I just had a swim party for dd7 and ds7 - invited both classes, and didn't hear from about 10 kids at all. I had people RSVP yes the day of the party. I was inside when the first arrived (my mom was outside), and it turns out one girl, who's mom didn't stay (or she came with another child), forgot to mention her child couldn't swim! She was in the deep end, lost her hold on a raft, and my dd13 (who luckily had a suit on, because her job was to watch the pool) jumped in to get her! 25 kids, 7 parents stayed.

 

[Tinkerbell58]

My daughter was invited to a party on a Wednesday....and the party was Saturday. Three days notice! I had to make a special trip to the store for a gift.

When I had parties for my kids, I gave two weeks notice. Is three days' notice the norm anymore?

 

[mjkacmom]

My sister is the worst of the bunch, I think. She accepts any and all invitations for her kids and then on the day of the event, they decide which to go to. Her reasoning is that they are children and can't be expected to make a decision in advance, and if they accept the "wrong" invitation, her children will be upset because of missing the one they decide (now) that they want to go to and won't have a good time at the one they end up at. I think this is just an excuse for bad behaviour and self-centeredness!!! We don't bother to invite them to anything anymore, because DD (who is now 15) has been so disappointed on more than one occasion!

I once had a mom call me 15 minutes before the bowling party was going to start, to let me know her ds8 wasn't coming, because he was outside playing, and didn't want to go. Needless to say, I didn't sent his favor to school (which I usually do if a child can't come last minute do to illness or an emergency).

 

[mjkacmom]

My daughter was invited to a party on a Wednesday....and the party was Saturday. Three days notice! I had to make a special trip to the store for a gift.

When I had parties for my kids, I gave two weeks notice. Is three days' notice the norm anymore?

I usually do the standard 1 1/2 weeks, but I did do invites 3 days in advance for the pool party. It wasn't a birthday party (I didn't want to do a birthday party because of all of the gifts), and I had 2 pool parties, 2 days in a row, and after being burned with rain-outs (and rain on the rain date), I wanted to have the weather forcast!

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

Count me as another one who has stopped parties. I have started taking them someplace fun as a family instead. My 9yo decided he really wanted a party this year, I tried to dissuade him, but he has never really had a party since he's the fourth child and I had already learned my lesson so I said yes and I still regret it. One child out of his class of 20 came. No one else called at all. Luckily since I have 5 kids it still felt like a party to him and they still played games (it was actually very budget) so he had a fun birthday, but never again.

 

[Jessica14]

This is just not with kids' parties. For a few years, I did parties for Pampered Chef. Invites were sent out two weeks in advance with an rsvp date. The hostess was always telling me that two days prior, she had heard from very few people. Should she cancel? I would tell her to call everyone and "remind" them. Sure enough, about 8-12 people would show up, many of which had to have the host call and they would say, "Yeah, of course I'm coming." as if the rsvp didn't apply to them or there wsa some kind of telepathy going on. Yes, definately rude. Parties need planning, so I'm not sure why folks think they can just show up or not. I even had to chase people down for my wedding 16 years ago!