Whatever happened to being Modest?

[irisbud]

I tend to think that when you put too much importance on how your daughter dresses that it won't help their self esteem... instead it will simply train them to believe that they are only as good as the clothes they wear... they'll grow up thinking they are less of a woman unless they are wearing the newest Versace... they'll start starving themselves so they can fit into those designer clothes that were made for anorexic women with the body of a young boy... I tended to think that simply reinforcing the good things my daughter did would help her develop good self esteem much more than trying to brain wash her into believing that she was only as good as the clothes she was wearing... but hey I'm guessing one of use is probably wrong... why don't we catch up with each other when my daughter finishes med school and we'll see which one was right.

I completely disagree with you. I simply cannot see how Praline3001 teaching her daughter to respect herself will lead to her daughter becoming anorexic (for many reasons, to be discussed following the next quotation). I think it is wonderful to see that she is taking steps early to ensure that her daughter understands that there is MORE to her than her body. By teaching her daughter to cover up and be modest, she is teaching her NOT to falunt herself. She never said that she was teaching her to wear only what some would consider the latest and greatest. She stated that she was teaching her to dress properly and modestly. I don't know where anorexia and versace come into that.

1. You might want to read your post again haha
you are saying exactly what I am talking about... but at a 180 degree turn... the girls who do wear the tacky bikini's in the lobby of resorts ARE the ones who will starve themselves as they are put on display ...and thier bodies are what they are trying to show off... don't those SAME women NOW think they would be less than a woman if they put a cover up on walking in a lobby?!?! I am not a prude or part of the amish culture but a properly dressed lady (and you can properly dress in Target... not just Versace)
will have much more self respect in herself rather than one who is allowed to run around with it all hanging out


Also, Anorexia is a disease ... ask your med student of a daughter... that has nothing to do with clothes or style. It is a mental condition that people get when their world is out of control... they control outside forces by controling the lack of food. It has nothing to do with body image as some might think. To use that as an example of how I raise my daughter to be a proper young lady is very incorrect and borders on rude.

my daughter knows what is proper and what is improper.
She does not walk into some place grossly underdressed or showing off parts of her body that only gain her the wrong kind of attention. She values HERSELF and not for her body being on display.

You are completely right, Anorexia is a mental disorder. Contrary to popular belief, as you stated, it is a control issue not necessarily a body image issue. Some researches actually consider it it be in the family of OCD, but there is still a lot of research being done on this topic.

No matter what anorexia is (or is not), however, I don't see how being taught modesty would be a correlate of it. I would tend to think that being allowed to be immodest and exposed would be more likely to lead to body image issues (if that is what you consider the totality of anorexia to be)

I don't think you've been reading all the posts... not only are some people up in arms about the shame of someone wearing a swimsuit but by the horrid notion of someone with a less than perfect body doing so... or oh my god... a woman that hadn't shaved... I think I've seen quite a few girls and women in bikinis at Disney that were clearly not concerned with starving themselves.... Oddly enough I think I've seen more anorexics wearing clothes than I have wearing swimsuits... but as I said... catch up when your daughter is grown and we'll see which method worked better.... and if your daughter does become a fashion horse or anorexic I promise not to say I told you so.

On the issue posted by the OP: Swimsuits in the lobby of the GF . Cover up people!

 

[jamieT]

I've wondered why when Americans go to another country and act "American" we are "ugly Americans" who are not respecting the local customs and norms...but if someone is in America, and acts in a manner that is inconsistent with the local customs and norms and a local questions the visitor they are considered to be "nativist" "xenophobic", "culturally insensitive", "up tight", "intolerant", etc, etc, etc.....in short....we are never sophisticated, enlightened or even right!

I also have no idea when being properly attired became the sole province of the "uptight".....whether it means a cover-up from the pool or not wearing blue jeans to a black tie wedding. The whole concept that a person should trouble themselves in any fashion to be unobtrusive is completely foreign in today's society. Instead, we have reduced our culture to the lowest common denominator of coarseness, crudity and rudeness....and we call it "freedom"....and it grand!

Yes, I am a card carrying member of the "morality police."

beautifully put!

 

[KingTriton77]

I for one would like to say I don't mind one bit when women wears a thong, bikini or any see through piece of clothing. More power to you and God Bless America!!

 

[thomas998]

I have been responding to the OP
Isn't that what we are supposed to do?
the OP stated that wearing bikini's and speedo's in the lobby of resorts is TACKY...
I completely agree. Anyother poster who gets off the subject of the OP ...well I can't speak for them

i was the one who posted about seeing a lady who had not shaved and was running around the resort (not the pool) in a bikini. It was gross to see long pubic hair bushing out all over her suit. It goes with that good hygeine common sense approach.

Some people are raised with manners and some people are not. Some people are raised with a sense of class and some people are not

Well I guess we all now where you look when you see a woman... I could ponder a guess as to why but I think we can call just guess on that one.

Some people are smart enough to realize times change... some people are not... Some people are capable of enjoying life without having to try and change the rest of the world to fit their constrained puritanical and repressive notions... some are not.... I used to think those self righteous folks lived in the middle east and bowed to Meca... looks like I found someone here just as bad.

 

[jorgelm]

Forget about everyone letting it all hangout at the pool itself (and this includes those crazy families who have their daughters topless and those men who must have put on thier wives bikini bottom) what is wrong with people that they don't cover up when walking back to thier room?

Ok this thread got a little lost.... i think the original idea was people covering up from their way from the pool to the room (and I mean only on their way to the room)..... Which in my opinion they shouldnt do.... but that is my opinion

Now speaking of people just hanging around in the hotel lobby, in the parks or in restaurants in bathing suits, then people should cover up.... again my opinion.....

 

[praline3001]

Well I guess we all now where you look when you see a woman... I could ponder a guess as to why but I think we can call just guess on that one.

Some people are smart enough to realize times change... some people are not... Some people are capable of enjoying life without having to try and change the rest of the world to fit their constrained puritanical and repressive notions... some are not.... I used to think those self righteous folks lived in the middle east and bowed to Meca... looks like I found someone here just as bad.

Oh but my friend I can see from this post how very open minded you are

 

[irisbud]

Well I guess we all now where you look when you see a woman... I could ponder a guess as to why but I think we can call just guess on that one.

Some people are smart enough to realize times change... some people are not... Some people are capable of enjoying life without having to try and change the rest of the world to fit their constrained puritanical and repressive notions... some are not.... I used to think those self righteous folks lived in the middle east and bowed to Meca... looks like I found someone here just as bad.

Um, I think in a situation like that, it would be hard to miss.

I think this is a little uncalled for Didn't you try to tell this poster how to raise her duaghter a few posts ago? Judge much?

 

[irisbud]

Oh but my friend I can see from this post how very open minded you are