What would you think?

[Jingle]

If your significant other has met up with a person of the opposite sex for lunch and/or drinks, hid it from you and will not introduce you to them, or tell the other person about you, what would you think? Of course the person proclaims their innocence and says it is a long time friend.
I think the answer is obvious. I'm trying to convince someone else. I'm prepared to hear both sides!

 

[kuhltiffany]

Big no. If it’s totally innocent there’s no reason to hide it!

 

[Mle8308]

I’d stay out of it.

 

[nw6675]

Agree with both above posters. Don't get involved and big red huge flashing oh heck no NO.

 

[tinkerbellandpeterpan]

It's clear from your phrasing what you think and also, what is the most reasonable conclusion. But if this were happening to a friend I would just offer support and a sounding board for them to work through it. They may just not yet be ready to face what's in front of them at the moment.

 

[Smugpugmug]

If the interaction is as innocent as the person claims, then why are they jumping through hoops to hide it?

 

[Jingle]

Yes I agree that the best thing is to not get involved. I also agree that my position on this issue is very clear!
I guess I am just frustrated by the excuses this person has. It's better for me to vent a bit here instead of pushing the issue.

 

[tvguy]

I agree, stay out of it. Way, way way out of it.

No advice, my wife and I do everything together, and any member of the opposite either of us would have lunch or drinks with would be mutual friends.

 

[disneychrista]

I think it is very easy to give advice to someone else going through something but it is not so easy to follow that advice if YOU are going through it.

 

[ronandannette]

For us, that would be a shocking violation of the standards of conduct we've set for ourselves. We simply DON'T socialize with persons of the opposite sex alone, ever. Ever. It's either as couples, in a group, or not at all. If this happened, on either of our parts, the other would absolutely know something was not right, regardless of the narrative.

But that's us. Lots of people do it; it might not be an automatic crisis. People need to decide, based on their own relationship and boundaries.

 

[Neapolitan Ice Cream]

Cheating is the 11th sin.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I would think it is a huge red flag unfortunately.

 

[luvnwdwgal]

Sounds suspicious. If there’s nothing to hide then why all the secrecy?

 

[Luv Bunnies]

When a person feels the need to hide any type of interaction with a person of the opposite sex, it's a huge red flag. It doesn't necessarily mean they are cheating but that, for some reason, they want to keep that interaction/relationship a secret from their spouse/SO. There is absolutely no reason not to be fully transparent with your partner. If it was just a text about work, fine. There's no reason to hide it. If it was a phone call to commiserate about a boss or co-worker, fine. There's no reason to hide it. If it was a business lunch to discuss work issues or projects, fine. There's no reason to hide it. If that person doesn't want their partner to know it happened, that's definitely not fine.

 

[cedricandsophie]

My husband and I have good friends of the opposite sex. We meet for lunch or drinks. But we are open and above board about it. If it’s hidden or secret that’s an issue. It’s their issue not yours. No one really knows what goes on behind the front door of their home.

 

[dvcgirl67]

I see you've said you're staying out of it which I think is a good idea.... but that would be a big no-no in my marriage.

 

[holden]

I'm glad you are supporting your friend. The truth will come out eventually. It always does.

 

[fla4fun]

Yes I agree that the best thing is to not get involved. I also agree that my position on this issue is very clear!
I guess I am just frustrated by the excuses this person has. It's better for me to vent a bit here instead of pushing the issue.

It’s hard to stay out of it when you know someone is probably going to end up really hurt by the actions of another. Kudos for coming here to vent instead.

I agree with the general consensus here. Those with nothing to hide, hide nothing.

 

[sam_gordon]

I don't think there's anything wrong with going to lunch with someone of the opposite sex or even being friends with them. However, as others have said, the "hiding" is a red flag to me. Why is there a need to hide if everything is on the up and up? Is someone extremely jealous and won't accept a platonic friendship?

 

[sasywtch]

I would look up other signs of cheating and have a talk with your friend to keep an eye out for those other signs. On second thought after re-reading your post, it sounds like your friend doesn't want to know so I guess you just wait for the ball to drop because it will.