What Would You Think If You Were Attending This Wedding...?

[AKL_Megs]

My DF and I are in the beginning stages of officially and finally planning our wedding. , but in order for us to begin, we have a question that we need opinions on. We will be getting married in Las Vegas at the wedding chapel at Mandalay Bay around this time of year next year. We don't plan on many people attending, just our parents, our closest friends, probably DF's grandparents, maybe DF's aunt and uncle, and maybe DF's cousin and her BF. Something like 15 or so people.

We plan on having the ceremony around 3pm - 4pm, and after pictures and everything, plan on having dinner around 6pm - 7pm. We plan on paying for everyone to eat at a really nice, what I would call "high-end" buffet. The food is really delicious, and DF and I both love eating there, so it is settled. They have a bar there, and we plan on buying a round of drinks for everyone for toasting, and then having everyone pay for their own drinks if they wish to continue drinking.

Since we will be eating around 6pm - 7pm and don't plan on rushing, after the dinner, we planned on having everyone go their seperate ways. DF and I will probably pick a place that we will be afterwards, such as a bar or a lounge or something like that, and anyone who wishes to join us for more celebration is more than welcome to come. We also understand that we will be in Vegas, and some people might wish to treat this trip as a vacation, so they might want to make their own plans for after the ceremony and dinner.

DF's mom thinks that we should have some sort of "entertainment activity" such as a comedy show or other fun (and expensive) Las Vegas activity planned for after the wedding. She also thinks that everyone should pay for their own dinner (probably because at one time she offered to pay for food at our wedding, and now she has changed her mind.On the other hand, my parents don't mind contributing and helping DF and I pay for everyone to eat.)

My parents aren't partiers or drinkers or "stay-up-laters", so I would hate to have them feel forced to attend such an "entertainment activity". Since they are paying for the wedding ceremony portion of the day, we really want them to enjoy themselves and not be at all uncomfortable. If we just pick a place to meet up afterwards, my parents can come for a while and leave when they feel ready. Most important, DF and I chose Las Vegas for our wedding to SAVE money, not to spend more, and the activities DF's mom has in mind are expensive, and we can't expect people to have money to pay for them, and we sure can't! Besides, at a normal wedding with a normal reception, what happens after the reception is over...? You go home usually!

Now here's the question...

If you were attending a wedding like I have described, what would you expect after the ceremony and dinner was said and done. Do you think what my DF and I have planned sounds like a good idea?

Thanks!!!

 

[Malificient Tater]

I happen to have a friend getting married in LV and doing what you have planned. Exactly they want to get married, go to dinner and enjoy the family and then see what happened.

I had a destination wedding. The only thing I planned was the rehearsal dinner( really just a dinner the night everyone arrived to talk and enjoy) wedding, dinner and then some of us all went out together. I let people have their vacation. Some things we did together but mainly it was just enjoy and relax.

I hope you have a wonderful wedding.

 

[carole88]

After the ceremony and dinner I would think that the wedding were over and I could do what ever I wanted. My issue is having guests pay for their own drinks. If they are my guest, I pay. No flames please, just my opinion.

 

[AKL_Megs]

I happen to have a friend getting married in LV and doing what you have planned. Exactly they want to get married, go to dinner and enjoy the family and then see what happened.

I had a destination wedding. The only thing I planned was the rehearsal dinner( really just a dinner the night everyone arrived to talk and enjoy) wedding, dinner and then some of us all went out together. I let people have their vacation. Some things we did together but mainly it was just enjoy and relax.

I hope you have a wonderful wedding.

Thanks! We won't be having a rehearsal or anything, but plan on doing something the night before, but probably something really simple.

 

[AKL_Megs]

After the ceremony and dinner I would think that the wedding were over and I could do what ever I wanted. My issue is having guests pay for their own drinks. If they are my guest, I pay. No flames please, just my opinion.

I totally understand, cash bars are a touchy subject. It's just a decision DF and I made together.

 

[KristiKelly]

I like what you have planned. Many guests, after the dinner, might be ready to go their separate ways to do their own thing.

Welcome to the world of dealing with the in-laws - Til death do you part!!!!

 

[Beth76]

I know you didn't ask, but I'm going to say it anyway. People are traveling to go to your wedding you need to feed them and "water" them. You should cover the dinner in its entirety including tips. Especially since you're only talking about 15 people. You can probably arrange it with the restaurant to have certain types of liquor though so that people aren't ordering the most expensive champagne on your tab.

Beyond that, what time do you intend the dinner to end? If it's going to be done by say 8pm, then you may want to arrange some entertainment afterward. No one has to attend. What do you and your fiance plan on doing. Do you want to party all night or do you intend on going straight back to the hotel room?

 

[carole88]

I hope you have a wonderful wedding and do everything that you want. It is your day and you and your DF should make all of the decisions. Have a great time in Vegas! Mandaly Bay is a nice hotel. I haven't been to the chapel but I bet it is really nice!

 

[DawnCt1]

After the ceremony and dinner I would think that the wedding were over and I could do what ever I wanted. My issue is having guests pay for their own drinks. If they are my guest, I pay. No flames please, just my opinion.

I agree. That is the only thing I would change. I would pick up the entire bill for the dinner and drinks. If the guests want to join you for another activity later, it would be their choice.

 

[Beth76]

I totally understand, cash bars are a touchy subject. It's just a decision DF and I made together.

OK fine, then don't offer the first drink for free.

 

[KristiKelly]

Oops, double post.

 

[AKL_Megs]

Welcome to the world of dealing with the in-laws - Til death do you part!!!!

Thanks! I'm realizing how much fun this is going to be!

Is it normal for them to have wonderful and expensive ideas for ways for you to spend your money for their enjoyment???

 

[Aimeedyan]

I would not expect something afterwards; they don't do that at weddings at home, why expect it just because it's in Vegas? Besides, the couple has better things to be doing after their wedding (wink wink).

 

[mickeyfan2]

I would expect my meal to be paid for including tip. I would also expect a reasonable amount of drinks to be included. If I am paying to attend a destination vacation and give a gift I should not also pay to eat and drink.

I would also expect to be entertained for a few additional hours too. Just like I would after a wedding reception at a hall - food, drinks and then dancing. I would also expect this to be paid for.

You are talking 15 people tops, so this should not be too expensive.

 

[AKL_Megs]

OK fine, then don't offer the first drink for free.

I guess I understand where you are coming from. We're paying for the first drink so everyone can toast us and not have to worry about paying for that. If we were to change our minds and pay for drinks, we would probably only pay for beer, wine, and liquor and soda type drinks. I honestly don't see anything wrong with that and have been to weddings with a drink menu before. But thanks for your perspective, it actually makes a lot of sense.

 

[Lizzy2]

I think your plan sounds great. Good luck!

 

[crz4mm2]

If I went to a destination wedding such as you are planning, I would be thrilled if you treated me to the dinner after the wedding! I don't think you need to plan to pay for unlimited bar though (although I am probably in the minority here-I don't agree with free booze at weddings). If you want to buy a bottle of bubbly to toast your wedding, then do that. Share it all the way around and then let them buy their own drinks after that.

I wouldn't expect to be entertained after dinner.

 

[Aimeedyan]

Since others have offered an opinion on the drink issue, I'll bite as well.

If you don't want to buy them all, don't buy them any. Can you imagine the chaos of getting seperate checks for some but not all, who had what drink, keeping tabs on it, etc at the end of the meal? I'd feel very uncomfortable trying to explain your system to the waitress and having her keep tabs on it or trying to split things at the end. For the sake of less stress and no embarassment at the table, I'd budget to cover any and all drinks. Most adults don't take advantage of that and may drink one or none knowing the tab is covered - and there are only 15 of you. So putting the 'miss manners' stuff aside, logistically covering a portion of a tab is a nightmare for all involved that I'd avoid. Just not worth saving that extra, maybe, $30.

 

[froglady]

If you don't want to go the whole open bar route, you could have wine, beer, and perhaps another drink choice (pitcher of Margaritas?) available at dinner.

Have a couple bottles of house white and red/table or every 5 guests, and domestic beer, if money is an issue.

Sorry, you posted while I was replying. It appears that this is your plan, and I would certainly agree with you. After all, when you're invited to someone's house, or to an office party, etc, you usually accept whatever you are offered.

 

[AKL_Megs]

Since others have offered an opinion on the drink issue, I'll bite as well.

If you don't want to buy them all, don't buy them any. Can you imagine the chaos of getting seperate checks for some but not all, who had what drink, keeping tabs on it, etc at the end of the meal? I'd feel very uncomfortable trying to explain your system to the waitress and having her keep tabs on it or trying to split things at the end. For the sake of less stress and no embarassment at the table, I'd budget to cover any and all drinks. Most adults don't take advantage of that and may drink one or none knowing the tab is covered - and there are only 15 of you. So putting the 'miss manners' stuff aside, logistically covering a portion of a tab is a nightmare for all involved that I'd avoid. Just not worth saving that extra, maybe, $30.

I understand your point, but the bar at the resturant is actually a totally cash bar, as in you go up with cash in hand, order your drink, and pay right then and there, no tabs. I am sure they make exceptions on tabs in the event that we decide to pay for drinks, like, "Put this on AKL_Megs tab!!!" But otherwise, it's a crowded bar and they don't do tabs.