What would you have done

[stemikger]

I was just curious how the other fellow disers would have responded.

Last Saturday my Godson celebrated his 2nd birthday. He is adopted and his dad is my uncle who is only 4 years older than me. Well he is a Barney freak as most two year olds are and his dad paid someone to dress in the Barney costume and dance for the kids.

My uncle has money and has a huge house and there were a lot of kids there. Some of the kids were a little wild. When Barney came there was one kid (who I didn't know) who was about 6 but big for his age.

When Barney was trying to dance for the smaller kids, this kid was stepping on his foot very hard and punching him and no one was stopping him. I sensed the guy in the costume was actually getting hurt and I walked up to the kid and very nicely asked him to stop.

Well with that his mother came rushing at me and told me not to correct her kid. I was stunned. This was someone my uncle knows from his church (of all places) who I never met. I just walked away and felt really embrassed, but also mad.

How would you have dealt with that. At the end of the night my uncle took me to the side and apologized. I told him it wasn't his fault and not to worry about it.

Opinions please.

 

[shortbun]

You did the right thing as long as you were being nice. The mother was wrong, she should have thanked you and taken her child in hand.

 

[Charade]

You did the right thing as long as you were being nice. The mother was wrong, she should have thanked you and taken her child in hand.

 

[Rowena]

You did do the right thing....

There may be something that you become aware of later...but you did nothing wrong. With the information you had been given right now....

You did well, and ignore anything else after this.

(I might have called emergency services.....most likely. After a time though, I wouldn't.....ouch, being on both sides....I'd do both, and let the circumstances decide at the moment........)

I have a developmentally disabled child....non-verbal autistic. I tell everyone in grocery stores that "it's not just them, she doesn't talk to anyone..."

Forget the pull-ups we have in the trolley...they see her and don't recognize she is developmentally disabled. She looks so pretty/normal/HUH??

I'm not making this up or lying to you. She is in the autism spectrum, and she's non-verbal....deal with it or go away.

 

[kaylajr]

You did the right thing as long as you were being nice. The mother was wrong, she should have thanked you and taken her child in hand.

Exactly

 

[LindsayDunn228]

You totally did the right thing. No child should be allowed to do that. I'm sorry, disability or not, I'm so glad someone stepped in and saved Barney from getting hurt.

 

[Tantor]

I would have done the same thing.

 

[swanmom]

Rowena,
If it was related to a disability or not, if the parent felt that their child's behavior caused discomfort/pain to others, shouldn't something have been said in private after the incident.
You sound like the kind of parent who, knowing that your child with special needs might be overstimulated by such an event, would be keeping your eye out for any trouble and be ready to intervene on behalf of your child as needed. Or at least have a discussion with the host prior to the party in order to prevent any misunderstandings. Sounds like this parent did nothing to prevent the problem or to foster understanding (if, in fact, it was a disability-related issue rather than just indulgent parenting) afterwards.

 

[aprilgail2]

You did the right thing! I would have turn to the woman though after she said not to correct her child and said "well then YOU control him and make him behave!"

 

[dg39]

I wouldn't have corrected the child myself. I would have told the host what was happening and let him approach the childs mother, especially if I didn't know the parent.

 

[Morganpics]

You did the right thing. If the mother isn't going to step in and act like a parent should, then someone else obviously has to. If the kid didn't know the difference, then he needs to have it explained to him.

 

[believe]

I would have done the same thing. My husband was assisting at a soccer game, coach's daughter was sick. The game went extremely long, the kids were getting out of hand. Not one parent corrected their child as they through things at each other, etc. I went over and said something to the children about cheering their teammates on and not throwing things. One guy, also helping, thanked me. He said if parents have a problem with it then they need to correct their children.

 

[Virgo10]

Rowena,
If it was related to a disability or not, if the parent felt that their child's behavior caused discomfort/pain to others, shouldn't something have been said in private after the incident.
You sound like the kind of parent who, knowing that your child with special needs might be overstimulated by such an event, would be keeping your eye out for any trouble and be ready to intervene on behalf of your child as needed. Or at least have a discussion with the host prior to the party in order to prevent any misunderstandings. Sounds like this parent did nothing to prevent the problem or to foster understanding (if, in fact, it was a disability-related issue rather than just indulgent parenting) afterwards.

Yeah, what you said. Is there any reason we feel that the child in question had a disability issue? Seems more likely that Mom and Dad were out having a beer when they gave parenting instructions.

I worked with special needs student for quite a while and their wonderful parents. To a person, each one of them wanted people to treat their children the same as any other child. That included when they were both behaved and not. A disablility doesn't give you the right to hurt someone else.

 

[Christine]

You did the right thing. The only thing different that I would have done would have been to tell the mother (quietly, in a whisper) to "kiss my you-know-what" as you walked away. But you did the classy thing.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would have told the lady to "beep beep beep". So yes, I think you handled it well.

 

[golfgal]

Well, I would have said "fine, then you take your little monster away" and then stepped on HER foot as I walked away . Ok, I wouldn't have said that, but I would have wanted to. I might have stepped on her foot, though. That kid is headed for jail!

 

[pattyT]

I would have done the same thing -
then when she approached me I would have told her 'Then next time YOU do it so I don't have too'
I would not feel embarrassed at all - i hate when people don't watch their out of control kids!

 

[poohandwendy]

It doesn't make any difference if the child has a developmental disorder or not. If a child is harming someone else and the parents are not doing anything about it, they have to accept the fact that someone else might step in to take control of the situation.

 

[Lynn CC]

I never understood why parents think their child can do no wrong. From what I've seen it leads to bigger problems as they grow. It seems they think everyone else is wrong, from parents to principals, but not their child.
The whole system "world" is wrong and against their misbehaved child, it's sickening if you ask me.

 

[Marseeya]

You totally did the right thing. No child should be allowed to do that. I'm sorry, disability or not, I'm so glad someone stepped in and saved Barney from getting hurt.

I totally agree! My DS has always had a lot of problems, but that's no excuse for causing harm to others. I'd be grateful if someone else stepped in when I wasn't looking, rather than letting him go on like that.