What would you do . . .

[ShuisFan584]

What would you do in this situation:

You have a really good friend who was abused by their father and stepmother from the time they were about 8 or 9 years old (and was even almost killed one time). They never told anyone about it because their parents would threaten them. Finally when they were a teenager they moved out to live with their grandparents and only told a few close friends what happened. After a few months this friend tells you that they want to move back with their family. They say that they miss living with their family and know that they have changed. They also promise that if anything happens to them they will let you know. What do you do or say to this friend? Please answer completely honest.

 

[Kermit]

{{{Hugs}}} I honestly don't know. I'd start by praying about it, and I'll pray for you. Can you talk to her grandmother about it? Or is there maybe some other family member who might be willing to intervene with just a little coaxing?

 

[nativetxn]

I would be afraid for them but I don't think there is much that you can do

 

[helenabear]

That is so terrible... I really don't know what I would do about it. My thought is that I would tell them what I really thought of it and ask them why they think their parents would have changed in only a few months if it has been going on so long. Otherwise I am not sure what I would do. My thoughts and prayers are with your them.

 

[JasonLyons]

if you get involved everyone will hate you and nothing will change

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

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If I had a real concern, I would go to the local authorities... Maybe they can recommend some type of counseling for your friend.

Other than that, just be there for her. I wish I had good advice.

 

[gemmie214]

That is a serious situation. I would consider talking it over with an adult at your school. You do not have to give any names.

 

[Tiggerkeeper]

I agree with Mary Jo. If this person feels he/she has to go back suggest counseling first. Other than that be a friend sounds like he/she needs one. We will say a prayer for you both.

 

[CajunDixie]

I'd suggest talking to your school's guidance counselor. They are in a better situation to watch for potential abuse once they know where to look. And it keeps you out of it and lets you keep being a friend that can be there for that person.

 

[Snow White]

It sounds like they need some family counseling if they are going to make a go of it....that would help to see if the possibility of more abuse was there. Most often I think that if they were that abused, that there is a big enough problem that they shouldn't overlook it and just assume that whatever or whomever the problem was has gone away. They could probably use some individual counseling too, there may be deeper issues than you are aware of. There are lots of agencies out there that can help reunify the family if that is the best thing, but it might be good to have a social worker or counselor look into the family issues first.

 

[Boots]

I think I would ask them to be sure this is what they want to do and ask them to promise that if anything ever seems to be threatening to immediately let someone know. Also the counseling advice is very good. I think that is about all you can do. {{{{HUGS}}}}

 

[mickey65]

I would also suggest talking to someone to intervene. Maybe her parents have changed, and maybe it will work out. What happens though if it has not changed, what happens if next time it happens it is too late to do something? You asked fo honesty, so if I were in the situation I would do everything I could to keep my friend safe. If that meant that I had to go to someone with more experience. A teacher, a parent..whoever you have to talk to to make sure she is safe. I would hate for her to go back and something happen.

{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Well here is my honest answer.

I would let them go and tell friend 'I hope you are right.' It is better for a person to figure things out on their own, the sooner the better, imho. Esp after having moved out they remember things through rose colored glasses and the friend does miss their family, I am sure.
I would have confidence that if they moved out once they would move out again if necessary.
Also it would give them a more "mature" look at the situation. So when they are older, married, with kids they will know NOT to let Grma & Grpa alone with the grandkids.