What would you do?

[JodyLynC]

DH is unemployed so things are really, really tight right now. A friend invited our family over so the kids could participate in an activity. Upon accepting the invitation, I was asked to bring a major component of the activity. Now these items will only cost about $5, but right now $5 is a huge deal for us.

I'm just stunned about the whole situation. How would you handle this? I'm embarrassed to say that this is too much for us right now, but maybe I need to.

 

[happygirl]

DH is unemployed so things are really, really tight right now. A friend invited our family over so the kids could participate in an activity. Upon accepting the invitation, I was asked to bring a major component of the activity. Now these items will only cost about $5, but right now $5 is a huge deal for us.

I'm just stunned about the whole situation. How would you handle this? I'm embarrassed to say that this is too much for us right now, but maybe I need to.

I wonder why she invited you over and you to bring the main thing That's like inviting someone over for dinner and asking them to bring the main course? That seems funny to me. I would tell what excatly what you told us. I hope thing get better for you

 

[SC Minnie]

I would just tell them. If they are really a friend then they will understand.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

for you. Call your friend and be honest, tell her you want the kids to be involved but at this time money or monetary help is out of the question. A true friend will understand.

 

[dismom2]

I'm sorry you have fallen on hard times. Is it possible for you to skimp back on something else so you can spend the $5 for this? For instance, do you ever buy a coffee or soda? Can you use coupons at the store, or make your childs school lunch instead of buy it? Can you sell some used clothes at a resale shop? Five dollars isn't much, and it would be a shame for your kids to miss out on the fun, but if you literally don't have a dime to spare, you'll have to either decline the invitation, or explain the situation.

 

[JodyLynC]

I'm sorry you have fallen on hard times. Is it possible for you to skimp back on something else so you can spend the $5 for this? For instance, do you ever buy a coffee or soda? Can you use coupons at the store, or make your childs school lunch instead of buy it? Can you sell some used clothes at a resale shop? Five dollars isn't much, and it would be a shame for your kids to miss out on the fun, but if you literally don't have a dime to spare, you'll have to either decline the invitation, or explain the situation.

I probably can come up with the money. I'm just stunned that my family would be invited to participate in an activity and then be expected to provide for the bulk of the activity. If that had been mentioned up front, I would have declined.

 

[dismom2]

I probably can come up with the money. I'm just stunned that my family would be invited to participate in an activity and then be expected to provide for the bulk of the activity. If that had been mentioned up front, I would have declined.

I understand-- most people supply everything they need for their own party (and should). Sometimes the invitee will ask the inviter if they can bring something (like a food dish) but it's not really polite to invite someone and tell them to bring something. Some people are just like that. I think if you can do it, and if your kids already know about the party, your kids would probably have a nice time.

 

[NY Disney fan]

If that had been mentioned up front, I would have declined.

Its not too late.

 

[momof1princess]

if i were invited somewhere and THEN asked to provide the major component of the gathering, i would politely decline, especially since, in this case, it is very likely the person who invited you knew your DH is unemployed and money might be tight. it's not being rude or impolite on your part, it's simply being honest.

 

[Missy1961]

I probably can come up with the money. I'm just stunned that my family would be invited to participate in an activity and then be expected to provide for the bulk of the activity. If that had been mentioned up front, I would have declined.

I'd decline now.

 

[puffkin]

I would probably cop out and call with some excuse (believable) of why we can't come and let it at that. I am hesitant to discuss financial matters with many of my friends, to us it is a private matter.

What is the activity? Is there any way to get the component cheaper?

 

[lovetoscrap]

"I'm so sorry. I didn't realize that you needed us tp bring X. With DH laid off right now we just can't fit any extras in the budget. Hopefully we can get together for this next year if things are better for us. Thanks!"

 

[terri01p]

Hey there is no shame in calling and just saying " my dh is laid off and I just don't have the money right now". I have had to do something simular because my dh is laid off too, people have been very understanding.

 

[My sister's princess]

What are you being asked to bring? I just don't know what could be a main component for multiple children that would only cost $5. Or are you just bringing the main component for your child (like a tee shirt for tye dying)

 

[JodyLynC]

What are you being asked to bring? I just don't know what could be a main component for multiple children that would only cost $5. Or are you just bringing the main component for your child (like a tee shirt for tye dying)

We were asked to bring specified food items for everyone to use.

 

[JodyLynC]

"I'm so sorry. I didn't realize that you needed us tp bring X. With DH laid off right now we just can't fit any extras in the budget. Hopefully we can get together for this next year if things are better for us. Thanks!"

I think I will be going this route. Thanks for helping me with the wording!!

 

[disykat]

I think people just don't "think" and forget that $5 could be a dealbreaker for some people. My first thought is that this is a gingerbread decorating party and you're to bring candy or something. I think it's pretty common with those kind of gatherings for all the participants to bring something.

I think lovetoscrap's wording is great. I'm guessing they'll be sorry it hadn't occured to them it would be a hardship and want you to come anyway! I'm sure they didn't mean to offend.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

"I'm so sorry. I didn't realize that you needed us tp bring X. With DH laid off right now we just can't fit any extras in the budget. Hopefully we can get together for this next year if things are better for us. Thanks!"

 

[C.Ann]

What would "I" do? If you were here, I would gladly give you the $5.. I'm sorry that things are so hard for you and your family right now..