LOL - "What I say my friends were told" - You crack me up. Passive/aggressive much?
As for the rest, you asked for reasoning. I offered it. It isn't good enough for you. You don't want to accept that reasonable people might feel differently about this than you.
I can tell this is an issue which is really close to you
It must be rough watching your students struggle with so many issues day after day.Well, thanks for trying to answer but I am still confused. I must not be expressing myself well.
). At other times, your concern seem to be the dangers of the drug (specifically as it relates to HEAVY users who are predisposed to bi-polar or schizophrenia). It seem to me like that is comparing apples to oranges. It should be more like this:
I can tell this is an issue which is really close to you
I am not seeing that Disneybama (or anyone else for that matter) is saying they are "letting" their kids smoke pot--only that they would not consider it as big of a deal as many other things a teen could do wrong.
Anyway, no I am not okay with any smoking of cigarettes because they are so highly addictive and all cigarette smoke has a carcinogenic effect. However, there are plenty of other things that I am okay with my kids using in safe ways but not in an extreme manner. For example, I teach my children that a glass or two of alcohol over the course of an evening is safe and perfectly okay--but that drinking to the point of being sick, blacking out, making bad choices that one would not make sober, etc is not okay (and is in fact very bad for one's health). Another example is as simple as soda: I teach my kids that a glass of soda a few times a week is fine, but drinking a 2 liter bottle a day is terrible for one's health (diabetes, obesity and tooth decay being the big issues there).
With most EVERYTHING in life moderation and balance is important--I think denying that would cause MY children to not take me seriously.
Well, thanks for trying to answer but I am still confused. I must not be expressing myself well.
I agree that I do not want my child addicted to any drug (legal or not) or abusing them in any way (using to the point of being sick, unable to make good decisions, etc even once).
However, you seem to go back and forth with WHY you are so heavily opposed to marijuana. For several posts your emphasis was on it is illegal (and for some reason you seem to have a bigger issue with illegal use of a substance which is never legal than illegal use of an age controlled substance--unless I am misinterpreting things
So I guess I am curious what is your overriding concern and why?
It seem to me like that is comparing apples to oranges. It should be more like this:
the vast majority of people who drink a few (1-3) drinks 2-3 times a week over a course of an evening have no ill effects from this. The same is likely true for the vast majority of people who smoke a few (1-3 also?) joints 2-3 times over the course of an evening.
People who are predisposed to alcoholism (family history) or depression are much more likely to become alcoholics if they ever start drinking and need to be hyper aware of the possibility of over use OR abstain all together. Likewise, people with a predisposition to bi-polar or schizophrenia are more likely to have issues if they become heavy used of pot and should there fore also watch carefully or abstain altogether. Many predisposed people (in either case) may not know they carry this genetic marker--thus everyone should be careful not to overuse and to seek treatment immediately if they find they are feeling compelled to do so.
While quite a lot of people do drink and drive without ill effect MANY times such behaviour results in deadly consequences (often to innocent bystanders) and thus this action should never happen--the same is true for driving high.
In other words--comparing MODERATE use of one substance to MODERATE use of the other makes some sense, but comparing moderate use of one to heavy use of the other is just silly (since both have similar effects at moderate versus high levels).
The bolded is the part I was trying to figure out but was not getting
Maybe it is just so obvious to you that you did not think you needed to spell it out. To me, being illegal does not in any way trump everything else. Actually, there are a number of illegal activities that (if i had to choose the lesser evil) I would much prefer my child be involved in than a number of other totally legal ones. There are even a few illegal things that I would have no issue with whatsoever, other than the risk of breaking the law. ). Just out of curiosity, what would you consider to be a more serious offense that doing something illegal several times a week? (I am 100% not trying to be snide, I just want to understand where you're coming from!) Also, don't you think what the OP's friend's daughter is doing is "extensive?" Several times a week is more than socially/experimentally! I read your previous post about your husband getting high every day and still getting an MBA-- good for him getting his degree, but he could have been kicked out of college for getting caught smoking pot! Also, I'd imagine if he was getting high everyday, he had a rather large supply in his dorm room-- if it were large enough, he could have been arrested for a felony and sent to jail! Would you want your kids to think that's okay-- to risk college and thousands of dollars, not to mention future jobs on something that "makes them feel good?" Again, because I know how it feels to be attacked on the Dis, I'm not trying to be accusatory or rude, I just want to understand and see your point of view!
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As for having a large supply, please, he was a college student - he didn't know how he was going to pay for his next meal. He and his friends did get arrested once in HS for having pot, but he took the whole blame, because his dad (my FIL) wouldn't go ballistic, and they said it would be removed from his record when he was 18 (it was). There is no way he would've ever had enough pot on him to be a big legal problem.
Well, for your information, he was kicked out of his dorm in his first year, for hosting a party, so that wouldn't have been a problem.
The bolded is the part I was trying to figure out but was not getting
So I am a little confused by this latest post to. You don't forbid things from you kids, or lecture but then at the end you say you sometimes have to make the choices for a child or teen (isn't that you forbidding something then?
Anyway, I actually think that you are putting as much emphasis on substances as anybody else (and maybe more than the typical person) by the outright refusal to see many things as anything other than a bad substance. For one example, your kids likely see wine as something people drink in order to get drunk and something which is harmful to be ingested.
My kids didn't realize it could make you drunk until they had spent years seeing it as a more or less normal beverage (pone kids did not drink but kids did not drink coffee or Coke or lots of other things as well). If you had asked my son about wine when he was 5 he probably would have told you it is a drink you have in the evening when you have friends over and want cheese and bread--because they go well together. It would not have been much different to him than hot cocoa being something you drink on cold snowy days, lemonade being for summer picnics, etc.
You see, we never put emphasis on it as a SUBSTANCE--we just treated it like any beverage or food and talked about the good and bad things about it just like we talked about the good and bad of iced tea (caffeinated so not good before bedtime) or lemonade (sugar and sour together is especially bad for your teeth).
Well, for your information, he was kicked out of his dorm in his first year, for hosting a party, so that wouldn't have been a problem.
Having three kids, youngest of which is 19 now. We've been down this road a few times. Reality is...it's illegal, and you will be drug tested by almost any employer. So if you want to go the route of "no big deal"...that's wrong, it will be a big deal when they can't get a job. All of my kids know of someone who was turned down for employment because they smoked weed.
I'm also probably the only mom of a teen that wishes the drinking age was 18 again. (which it was when I was young and dinosaurs roamed the earth). When kids today drink, they drink as if they're never gonna see alcohol ever again. Thus the binge drinking. Back in the "old days" if you wanted a beer after work, you could have one. You didn't need to drink a case, thinking that you might not have another any time soon. I think EDUCATION is what was needed in regard to drinking responsibly, and that's what made a difference, not raising the drinking age. Yet, I digress..
As for pot...the thing is, its WAY more potent these days. So while some here are getting a chuckle from reliving their youth and shrug their shoulders with a "no big deal" response, the "product" has also changed. It's also often laced with more potent and addictive drugs.
I agree with the poster who works with kids who use regularly. Now it's pot, then it's laced with other things to give it more kick.
I think condoning it as no big deal to 15 and 16 year olds..is the wrong message to send. I wouldn't condone alcohol for kids that young either. Are you going to supply them a list of drugs that are acceptable, and a list that aren't?
Again, it's been my experience that so many kids turn to drugs, as it's readily available and so EASY to obtain. Certainly drug dealers aren't asking for their ID.
Addiction runs in my family. I've talked to DD (13) about drinking and drugs. She is well aware under-age drinking and drugs will not be tolerated. Smoking pot does often lead to other drugs.
