What would Dissers do - Teens & drugs

[shortbun]

As a parent of a 15yo and someone who smoked pot in highschool and college, I would NOT over react. I would express my concerns, tighten supervision and talk to all the girls. These girls are old friends so the girls parents/your friends should have a good relationship with them. Talk to them like young adults which is how they see themselves and give them the truth. Tell them that regular pot smoking will cause the decision making part of their brains to function more slowly and poorly. Tell them that smoking dope with ruin their lungs, their skin, their teeth and so forth. Tell them that they could end up in jail and that smoking makes them stink and their breath stink. I would tell them that IF they get the reputation of being dope smokers, many kids parents will not allow them to be their friends. Then, I'd police my house like a sargeant and check coat pockets, purses, emails, drawers and everything else. I might make them sign a pledge not to smoke dope. I'd explain that being around people who sell dope puts them at risk for being around people who are criminals-selling drugs is a felony.
The whole time I was talking to them, I'd be calm and serious. I would tell them that being caught might cause them not to get accepted in their chosen college or worse, it might limit what jobs they could get due to having a criminal record or testing positive for pot in a random test. Get those girls to promise not to use pot as a group. Their is strength in numbers and if they all support each other, they are more likely to be successful. Last, your friend may not know that being high feels good. Make sure she knows that they like it and for good reason. She has her work cut out for her but if she really lets these young women know she cares, she may be able to stop them. She should use their bond and her familiararity with them to her advantage.

 

[tasha99]

No - you would strengthen them by trying to end them.

This. I have a little sister who is more the age of my kids. She had a friend with parents who decided to try to split them up--they were both screwing up, but somehow it was all my sister's fault. It's 5 years later now, and my sister is doing really well and in college. The girl whose parents thought it was "the other kid's fault" is still screwed up--pregnant, homeless (well, living in a van), and unemployed. My sister was no angel, but they were both messing up. Trying to split up kids at that age sends the message (I think) that their failure is someone else's responsibility.

I also think that the people who equate marijuana with other drugs are doing their kids a disservice. It's one thing to say no drugs are acceptable in your household (a reasonable stance) but quite another to equate pot with hard drugs. Once you start doing that and kids see for themselves that that isn't true, they'll see everything mom or dad says about drugs as paranoid hyperbole. Then all conversation is over.

(FWIW, I don't use pot but dabbled as an older teen. Personally, I think it should be legal and the pot prohibition is a big waste of resources).

 

[shortbun]

Such as? Becoming fond of chili dogs at midnight, tie-dyed t-shirts, Hendricks?

LOL!!! Yeah, I have fond memories too but I wish I'd waited until I was in my 20's and my brain had been more developed. Sometimes I just drift off-ya know?

 

[NHdisneylover]

OP--thanks for the update I am glad that your friend is taking a step back and really putting some serious thought into how to handle this situation. That posh/spice/K2 thing sounds pretty scary. I have not heard of it before this thread. Seem there is always somethign new to worry about

, being European Boulderites might give one a skewed view

Again, we are talking about illegal drugs - caffeine and nicotene are legal, so how you handle that may be different than pot or heroine.

Smoking is NOT legal for a 17 year old, nor is alcohol. Actually, I would worry as much or more about some legal items (like the Posh/spice/K2 thing mentioned by several posters, or huffing, etc.) than pot (even though it is illegal).


SOrry to whoever said the bolded--the quote did not come through correctly. I never thought of it in this way but I really like it though Trying to split up kids at that age sends the message (I think) that their failure is someone else's responsibility.

 

[Tiger926]

OP--thanks for the update I am glad that your friend is taking a step back and really putting some serious thought into how to handle this situation. That posh/spice/K2 thing sounds pretty scary. I have not heard of it before this thread. Seem there is always somethign new to worry about




Smoking is NOT legal for a 17 year old, nor is alcohol. Actually, I would worry as much or more about some legal items (like the Posh/spice/K2 thing mentioned by several posters, or huffing, etc.) than pot (even though it is illegal).


SOrry to whoever said the bolded--the quote did not come through correctly. I never thought of it in this way but I really like it though Trying to split up kids at that age sends the message (I think) that their failure is someone else's responsibility.

Sorry, it is in Canada, where I live. It is a purchase law, and not a smoking law, so it is illegal to sell cigarettes to minors or for minors to purchase cigarettes, but it's not illegal for them to actually smoke them. Confusing law, eh? But, if a parent gives their kids smokes, it is not illegal. It is also illegal to smoke in a car with minors in our province as well.

Again, cigarettes and alcohol are legal products, whereas pot is not. They have age limits attached, but they are legal products. Pot is not legal, no matter the age.

Tiger

 

[NHdisneylover]

Sorry, it is in Canada, where I live. It is a purchase law, and not a smoking law, so it is illegal to sell cigarettes to minors or for minors to purchase cigarettes, but it's not illegal for them to actually smoke them. Confusing law, eh? But, if a parent gives their kids smokes, it is not illegal. It is also illegal to smoke in a car with minors in our province as well.

Again, cigarettes and alcohol are legal products, whereas pot is not. They have age limits attached, but they are legal products. Pot is not legal, no matter the age.

Tiger

I am a bit confused--you are okay with a teen breaking the law by using a substance with a nage limit (like udner age drinking) so long as the substance is legal for older people to use? You are just not okay with someone using a susbstance which is not legal at all?
Am I confused (very likely), or was it you who said people would be fools to send the message to teens that some drugs are problematic and others aren't? Seems it would follow that it is also foolish to send the message that some laws are fine to break and others are not.

Sooooo, if your teen moved to Belgium (maybe doing a semester abroad) would you be fine with him/her smoking marijuana there (it's legal)? Would THAT bother you more than if your teen were there but smoking cigarettes (which would also be legal "back home"). If so, why?

I am genuinely curious about the fallback on it just not being legal in your arguments. To me, I am MUCH more concerned with the ways a substance can harm someone (including but by no means limited to legal repercussions) than I am the law. Truly, while I would rather my kid never do either thing, I would be less upset if they broke the law and smoked pot on a smaller scale (not all the time and not out of control) than if they did not break any laws and drank themselves to the point of having alcohol poisoning.

 

[CathrynRose]

My biggest problem with kids smoking weed is simple. It's illegal and kids are stupid.

We're not talking about an adult who goes home after work, and smokes a joint. We're talking about kids sneaking around getting high. They're not doing it in the living room, so where are they doing it? The local park? In their car in the school parking lot? Kids are dumb.

So, the kid gets caught by the the police, and now what? Depending on how much they have on them, could it be a felony? (I don't know the laws on amounts, and I think it varies by states, anyways....)

*This* has always been what scares me most about teens and smoking up. Not the drug itself. But what could come along with being a dumb kid, smoking weed.

I (personally) think they should drop it being illegal, but that's another thread.

As far as the OP and the friend. I'd be happy she's hanging with someone who is ONLY smoking weed, and thankfully occasionally. Would it be better if both girls didn't do anything? Of course... however, I'm not blind to what kids this age, do.

 

[CathrynRose]

That SPICE garbage:

I wish they'd make it illegal. To be absolutely frank, and not tip-toe around attempting to act like a perfect parent - I would rather I found out my child was smoking weed once in awhile, than smoking this crap EVER.

The last I read, this stuff is being worked on, to become illegal in many states. It concerns me a whole lot.

Good ol' fashioned weed is not going to kill you.

 

[Tiger926]

I am a bit confused--you are okay with a teen breaking the law by using a substance with a nage limit (like udner age drinking) so long as the substance is legal for older people to use? You are just not okay with someone using a susbstance which is not legal at all?
Am I confused (very likely), or was it you who said people would be fools to send the message to teens that some drugs are problematic and others aren't? Seems it would follow that it is also foolish to send the message that some laws are fine to break and others are not.

Sooooo, if your teen moved to Belgium (maybe doing a semester abroad) would you be fine with him/her smoking marijuana there (it's legal)? Would THAT bother you more than if your teen were there but smoking cigarettes (which would also be legal "back home"). If so, why?

I am genuinely curious about the fallback on it just not being legal in your arguments. To me, I am MUCH more concerned with the ways a substance can harm someone (including but by no means limited to legal repercussions) than I am the law. Truly, while I would rather my kid never do either thing, I would be less upset if they broke the law and smoked pot on a smaller scale (not all the time and not out of control) than if they did not break any laws and drank themselves to the point of having alcohol poisoning.

Nope, none of it is fine with me, regardless of the law. Heck, I don't like it when kids drink coffee - LOL! But, when you are talking about legal and illegal substances, you can't regulate how people use legal substances. Pot is illegal, but cigarettes are not. As I said, in my country it's not illegal for teens to smoke, just to purchase the cigarettes. As far as alcohol, it is illegal for kids to purchase alcohol under age 19, but the product itself is legal, so if a parent gives it to their child in their own home, there is not much you can do.

There is no confusion in my household or in my classroom - illegal drugs are not good for the body/brain, and some legal ones aren't either, but we can't regulate how people use legal drugs, and that is why I have made the distinction in this discussion. It is not ok to break the law, but pot is illegal all around, whereas alcohol and cigarettes have age stipulations for purchase.

Not meant to confuse at all...some pro-pot posters on here seem to forget that pot is illegal, and that is why I made the distinction. It is illegal to sell, possess or use, period. Whereas the other legal drugs, if you will, such as cigarettes or alcohol have age limits attached for possession or purchase. I don't condone smoking or drinking under age, but again, I can't stop a parent if they give it to their kids in their home, and it is actually not illegal for them to do so. In our province, you can actually serve alcohol in a bar/restaurant at age 18 - so again, you have to be 19 to purchase, but you can be under that age to serve someoen else. Talk about confusing... We have had to call the police or CAS on parents who have sold drugs to their teens as the act of possession is illegal (although in my province, you are allowed to possess a minute amount without penalty).

Sorry for the confusion, Tiger

 

[klacey1]

I don't think anyone has said they wouldn't harshly punish their child for smoking pot because it might hurt their feelings. I wouldn't punish my child harshly, because I save harsh punishments for infractions that I feel are serious. Honestly, I'd have no problem having marijuana legalized - and if my child is going to experiment, I prefer pot over alcohol.

And when I graduated from HS in 1985, lots of social groups (including the really smart kids ) smoked pot. It seemed like only the "potheads" smoked it extensively - the others just dabbled. There is a difference.

Just out of curiosity, what would you consider to be a more serious offense that doing something illegal several times a week? (I am 100% not trying to be snide, I just want to understand where you're coming from! ) Also, don't you think what the OP's friend's daughter is doing is "extensive?" Several times a week is more than socially/experimentally! I read your previous post about your husband getting high every day and still getting an MBA-- good for him getting his degree, but he could have been kicked out of college for getting caught smoking pot! Also, I'd imagine if he was getting high everyday, he had a rather large supply in his dorm room-- if it were large enough, he could have been arrested for a felony and sent to jail! Would you want your kids to think that's okay-- to risk college and thousands of dollars, not to mention future jobs on something that "makes them feel good?" Again, because I know how it feels to be attacked on the Dis, I'm not trying to be accusatory or rude, I just want to understand and see your point of view!

Exactly. I don't get this, oh, it is only pot, All kid experiment. DH didn't, he was 13 and at a teen club. He saw a kid on PC run in front of a car and literally get ripped apart, as in body parts all over. That pretty much cured him.
It is illegal and you can get arrested. All of this talk about everyone raising responsible adults here on the dis, and yet some seem to think it is ok. WRONG.
Now does this mean if a parent gets involved that the child is a snowflake? not sure just exactly where that stand.

This is exactly how I feel...I'm having trouble understanding the opposite point of view...

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

...I'm having trouble understanding the opposite point of view...

For me, the only risks associated with pot smoking are those tied to over-reaching laws. Since I don't support those laws, I really don't have a problem with pot smoking. I choose not to smoke pot (have not done so in over 20 years), but I would not be greatly concerned if I discovered that my son was smoking pot at 16 or 17 years old. In fact, I would consider it to be normal.

So, if you are trying to understand then consider that some people really are not afraid of pot, nor do they consider its use to be of any greater concern than many other things. And, some people do not make their decision about how they will react to something based on the legality of that something.

Pot smoking just isn't a big deal to me. I am much more concerned about my son practicing safe sex.

 

[shortbun]

To all of you who think pot is different or worse than alcohol or cigarettes....both the latter two substances kill way more people every year than pot...and pot is legal in some way in 17 states....and alcohol and tobacco are not legal IF you are drinking and driving or in a public place in most states in the U.S. For instance, there is no where you are allowed to be publicly intoxicated or drink an open container in public or drive drunk in this country. There are few states that have not passed a public smoking ban. So, to say those two substances are 'legal' is debatable. It's NOT just an age issue anymore. AND, marijuana has been found to be a medically acceptable treatment for many pain related issues-prescribed and recommended by doctors where tobacco is NOT recommended by doctors for anything and only wine(one or two 4oz glasses) may be beneficial for heart health. Thus, marijuana seems to be the better of the three, especially if injested by some way other than smoking it. I am NOT recommending we turn our kids on, au contraire, but demonizing pot is a dumb thing to do with kids unless one has the correct information. Capice?

 

[Tiger926]

For me, the only risks associated with pot smoking are those tied to over-reaching laws. Since I don't support those laws, I really don't have a problem with pot smoking. I choose not to smoke pot (have not done so in over 20 years), but I would not be greatly concerned if I discovered that my son was smoking pot at 16 or 17 years old. In fact, I would consider it to be normal.

So, if you are trying to understand then consider that some people really are not afraid of pot, nor do they consider its use to be of any greater concern than many other things. And, some people do not make their decision about how they will react to something based on the legality of that something.

Pot smoking just isn't a big deal to me. I am much more concerned about my son practicing safe sex.

Hmmm...have you actually read any research on pot? The new research with pot smoking and ties to schizophrenia is very serious...

Just something to think about for those of you who think it's no big deal. You should read the new research, and I wonder if you would still feel this way?

Tiger

 

[Rora]

Pot smoking just isn't a big deal to me. I am much more concerned about my son practicing safe sex.

If I was a parent, this concern would trump my concerns about pot.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

FWIW, normal or not, I expect kids to experiment... I'd rather them wait until colleg to do so.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Hmmm...have you actually read any research on pot? The new research with pot smoking and ties to schizophrenia is very serious...

Not only have I seen the research, but two people very close to me suffered from bouts of schizophrenia as a result of pot use. But you need to understand something - neither one of these people were stable to start with, and both smoked HUGE amounts of weed. HUGE amounts.

So, yes, there is a risk. If you smoke pot like they did - 5-10 joints per day - you may wind up in a facility for a week or two. (They were both fine within 24 hours of the THC leaving their system)

That isn't pot use - that is pot abuse. Nothing in this world is safe when used/consumed in extremes. Heck, you can kill yourself by drinking too much water.

 

[Tiger926]

Not only have I seen the research, but two people very close to me suffered from bouts of schizophrenia as a result of pot use. But you need to understand something - neither one of these people were stable to start with, and both smoked HUGE amounts of weed. HUGE amounts.

So, yes, there is a risk. If you smoke pot like they did - 5-10 joints per day - you may wind up in a facility for a week or two. (They were both fine within 24 hours of the THC leaving their system)

That isn't pot use - that is pot abuse. Nothing in this world is safe when used/consumed in extremes. Heck, you can kill yourself by drinking too much water.

I agree that nothing is safe when used in an extreme manner. So, do you let your kids smoke, but only a certain amount? Again, I'm not sure how they would take you seriously at that point, I know I wouldn't.

Why would you want to take that chance with young people anyway? You kind of had an idea with your friends as they weren't stable before, but the bigger issue for us are the students who don't exhibit symptoms, until they have a mental breakdown. That is scary...Our young people are not just fine within a week or two, as your friends were. Schizophrenia just doesn't go away...The research shows that if you have a certain genetic makeup for mental illness, your risk of schizophrenia can increase to 1000%, and heavy pot users by age 15, regardless of genetic makeup, have a 300% chance of developing schizophrenia. The risk of psychosis can go up by 700% and by age 18, experts estimate that between 9-15% of schizophrenia cases were caused by marijuana. I'm sure some are going to say that 9-15% is nothing major, but it definitely is. Any amount of risk involved in developing mental illness is serious.

The fact is, pot is serious for many (it is estimated that 10% of people who enter rehab facilities do so for marijuana abuse), and can be life threatening in a mental way. Not sure why anyone wants to take that chance for a few minutes of feeling good...? Dead brain cells and laziness are one thing, but mental illness is something else entirely...

Tiger

 

[disney1990]

Such as? Becoming fond of chili dogs at midnight, tie-dyed t-shirts, Hendricks?

Yes, MUNCHIES.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I agree that nothing is safe when used in an extreme manner. So, do you let your kids smoke, but only a certain amount? Again, I'm not sure how they would take you seriously at that point, I know I wouldn't.

Who said "let"? I just said that if it happened I wouldn't over-react.

Schizophrenia just doesn't go away...

Unless it is brought on by THC overuse. Per two separate medical staffs in two separate states (where my friends were treated), the symptoms will not return unless they start using heavily again. Both were told that they were of no higher risk of a recurrence because of the incident, and they were both bi-polar going into the incidents. One smokes pot regularly again (he is 20).

There are all sorts of horror stories out there. I find that each of us believes what we want to believe.

 

[Tiger926]

Who said "let"? I just said that if it happened I wouldn't over-react.


Unless it is brought on by THC overuse. Per two separate medical staffs in two separate states (where my friends were treated), the symptoms will not return unless they start using heavily again. Both were told that they were of no higher risk of a recurrence because of the incident, and they were both bi-polar going into the incidents. One smokes pot regularly again (he is 20).

There are all sorts of horror stories out there. I find that each of us believes what we want to believe.

That is not according to the new research. The big question in the medical and scientific community is causation vs. correlation - kind of like the chicken and the egg argument. They are trying to figure out whether smoking marijuana causes schizophrenia or do those who already suffer from it self-medicate to alleviate the effects of their mental illness. After years and years of study, scientists are leaning towards the fact that smoking marijuana seems to trigger schizophrenia. And, among schizophrenics, marijuana is the most used drug of choice.

According to the research, if you have the genetic makeup or predisposition to mental illness, as your friends have because they are bipolar, you are advised to absolutely not, under any circumstances, smoke marijuana, or do any other street drugs for that matter. Avoiding marijuana helps reduce relapse episodes. The facts are that marijuana doubles the risk of schizophrenia in some people, for certain your friends are in this category as they are already bipolar. The problem is that the number one problem with bipolars is that heavily self-medicate, so chances are your friends are in for a lifetime of psychosis and possibly schizophrenia. Contrary to what you were told, schizophrenia is not irreversible.

The new research is all contrary to what you say your friends were told, but I hope for their sake all of the scientific evidence is incorrect. Unfortunately, I don't think it is...

Tiger