What to do next time this happens

[Nancyg56]

I think you are being overly sensitive. You need to take some responsibility. Instead of coming up with your own snarky remarks (which will only confirm to them that you're not someone they care to know), just stand up and introduce yourself. How hard is that? Who cares where the baby got the blond hair?
[/QUOT

This is what I think. There is nothing to be gained by snarky remarks, quick comments or hurt feelings.
Honestly, most folks have no idea that the comments they are making should probably be left unsaid so just stepping over the comments and acting like the grownup in the conversation usually works wonders

 

[Ceila]

Two thoughts:

1) Using uncommon abbreviations does not help you get your point across. What's a b-family? b-grandmother? b-mom? v.v.v.v.?

I've never seen those abbreviations before, either, but using the context of the post it wasn't hard to figure out that the "b-" stands for "birth" and the "v." stands for very.

 

[Robinrs]

I think you are being overly sensitive. You need to take some responsibility. Instead of coming up with your own snarky remarks (which will only confirm to them that you're not someone they care to know), just stand up and introduce yourself. How hard is that? Who cares where the baby got the blond hair?

I do understand your situation. My DHs family thinks he hung the moon and I'm just along for the ride. Meh. So not a big deal. My youngest one doesn't look like anyone. I tell them he looks like the preacher. My point is, this is not a hill you want to die on. Just roll with it and consider the source.

And remember the source is acknowledging the bloodline that is part of HER, and you're not. She's deliberately excluding you, but that's HER problem, not yours.

People can dole it out, it's up to you NOT to accept it. She doesn't define you, you do. And YOU are Piglet's Mommy!

 

[christineann]

My (now ex) husband's family made comments like that about my children, too, even though my daughter looks very much like me. When I divorced the ex, they said they didn't blame me and then more or less disowned my children and me even when I tried to keep in contact with them. For a while, I was sad that my children didn't have a relationship with them, but hey, our lives improved so much after that!

 

[EeyoreEma]

I think that although it can leave you feeling hurt/left out, that the best thing to do is just ignore it. If you want to be proactive about it, just make sure you introduce yourself.

 

[jeepgirl30]

My DD looks identical to me. My MIL refuses to acknowledge it and constantly comments that DD's habits and favorites are all her side of the families. I started making a game out of it in my own head. it helps. Now when she comments how much like whoever on her side people give her a questioning look and say "oh but she looks just like her mother".

Now DS on the other hand, spitting image of my husband. Although when he was born she actually questioning whos son he was as he didn't look like anyone. I said "oh i think he looks just like DD did at that age and exactly like himself". I travel for work and she made a comment about how I needed to stop traveling because I kept coming home pregnant. Now look how silly she looks!

The point is, when people are stupid, rude, whatever it eventually shows. I know it is hard to bite your lip but kids figure it out and aren't they the ones that matter most to you?

You will look like the bigger better person by just simplying smiling and saying "oh and I'm W's wife and mom to this angel" or close to that.

 

[ols386]

I think you are being overly sensitive. You need to take some responsibility. Instead of coming up with your own snarky remarks (which will only confirm to them that you're not someone they care to know), just stand up and introduce yourself. How hard is that? Who cares where the baby got the blond hair?

I do understand your situation. My DHs family thinks he hung the moon and I'm just along for the ride. Meh. So not a big deal. My youngest one doesn't look like anyone. I tell them he looks like the preacher. My point is, this is not a hill you want to die on. Just roll with it and consider the source.

I agree.

And sometimes it's best to be the bigger person and just speak up and introduce yourself politely. Trying to think up snarky responses is small, IMO.