What to do about this gift exchange situation?

[WeLoveLilo05]

What in God's name ever happened to being gracious and simply saying thank you? Even if the person giving the gift did so with little to no thought, you can be the adult and simply accept it with a smile and a "thank you." Use this as an opportunity to teach your child manners.

For that that are outraged, are you kidding me? It's attitudes like yours that have made gift giving more about money and less about the act of giving AND receiving. Talk about taking the meaning of Christmas and *******izing it.

And yes, I speak from experience. I have a relative who does the same thing and I will do nothing but say thank you. Same goes for everyone else when they open their own gifts from said relative. "Thank you" goes a hell of a long way.

Why should I be gracious? Why should I allow someone to put my child down? Its not like she does this to everyone, she just does it to DD. Do you think its ok that a 30+ year old has some kind of beef with my child? My child has manners and does say thank you after every gift, but why should my child get the short end of the stick? Why should DD think its ok for people to walk all over her? DD loves Beanie Babies and how much are they? $5? Seriously, she'd be happy with one Beanie and I would be too, I am not asking the lady to spend a fortune, I am just asking her to put some thought into the gift like I do for her kiddos.

And in my opinion, its more about money to her then me. B/c her 2 kids are walking away with toys or clothes they can use and will use, but mine gets something she could use in about 10 years from now.

In no way do I want to take this out on her kids, but she needs to know what she is doing is wrong, singling out a 4 year old, are you kidding me?!? Giving her items with nuts in it when she is clearly allergic? She really needs to grow up.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

What in God's name ever happened to being gracious and simply saying thank you? Even if the person giving the gift did so with little to no thought, you can be the adult and simply accept it with a smile and a "thank you." Use this as an opportunity to teach your child manners.

For that that are outraged, are you kidding me? It's attitudes like yours that have made gift giving more about money and less about the act of giving AND receiving. Talk about taking the meaning of Christmas and twisted it into materialistic holiday of one-upmanship.

And yes, I speak from experience. I have a relative who does the same thing and I will do nothing but say thank you. Same goes for everyone else when they open their own gifts from said relative. "Thank you" goes a hell of a long way.

My MIL is paranoid schizophrenic, but she gets a pass. And please, my kids are gracious and do not laugh or complain when receiving a gift. They already have those manners.

This about some freaky woman who singles out a child at family gatherings. Perhaps you should read a little closer.

 

[TLSnell1981]

\
This about some freaky woman who singles out a child at family gatherings. Perhaps you should read a little closer.

ITA. I seriously doubt Auntie really has anything against this child. Methinks one should look a little deeper.

I would be more concerned that she feeds the child peanuts...knowing she's allergic to them.

 

[WeLoveLilo05]

ITA. I seriously doubt Auntie really has anything against this child. Methinks one should look a little deeper.

I would be more concerned that she feeds the child peanuts...knowing she's allergic to them.

Well thats why we left the last family get together. I never leave DD unattended b/c of this issue. I also tell her not to take food from anyone but mommy or daddy. I'm one of those helicopter moms. But DD is getting very good with the situation. She is beginning to ask me more and more is it "ok to eat ____, does it have nuts in it?" So I am proud of her, but I still wouldn't leave her unattended with that side of the fam.

I just don't have a clue why she would be this way to DD and as you could see it bothers me lol.

 

[TLSnell1981]

I know it upsets you. Does it bother your DD? I mean, about the gift? If so, tell her all people aren't nice and considerate. It's not her problem...it's Crazy Aunt So and So's. (okay, maybe you shouldn't tell the child she's crazy, but you know what I mean) After you leave, give her a small gift to make up for the slight....or take her some place special. It may make you both feel better.

 

[3boymthr]

I'm wondering if this is more about YOU than your DD.

The Aunt probably knows this drives you crazy, esp the nut thing. She probably either doesn't like you or doesn't like the fact that you have kids but aren't married or you're stealing the attention away from her or you did something that she took as a slight when you first met her or some other weird reason all her own and is using your dd to get back at you.

I would do what PP suggested and get something monogramed - like a backpack or towels or an ipod carry case or... Or else go with GC.

 

[Ciao Mickey]

Well thats why we left the last family get together. I never leave DD unattended b/c of this issue. I also tell her not to take food from anyone but mommy or daddy. I'm one of those helicopter moms. But DD is getting very good with the situation. She is beginning to ask me more and more is it "ok to eat ____, does it have nuts in it?" So I am proud of her, but I still wouldn't leave her unattended with that side of the fam.

I just don't have a clue why she would be this way to DD and as you could see it bothers me lol.

People can be sick (as in the head). For whatever reason, this woman has a problem with you, or your bf, or your situation, or something. That's her problem not yours, and you shouldn't let her get to you or your daughter.

I would ALWAYS keep a close eye on my child while around this family.

Don't let her see that it bothers you. If you act *indifferent* to the situation, that will bother her more.

Be gracious. Just tell her that due to the economy, money is tight, and you will not be exchanging gifts anymore and leave it at that.

I know it hurts your feelings being treated like this. But there is really nothing you can do about it.

 

[It'sWDW4me]

I know exactly how you feel because I have one of those in my family. It's not the amount of money spent, it's the thought (or lack thereof) that really ticks one off. How can she be so thoughtless especially to an innocent child? If she hasn't already, your daughter will one day start wondering why she's being singled out to get crappy gifts that she doesn't like and couldn't possibly use while everyone else gets something cool. I don't care if we're talking $5 or $50 - kids pick up on these things.

Since she is only your DF's aunt, not a sibling, parent, or grandparent, I would do what others have suggested - ask for the receipt so that you can exchange it because it's simply way too big/advanced/not appropriate for your daughter. Since she's regifting her kids' stuff there's no receipt to give you. Now the beauty part - as she's flubbering through whatever reason she tries to give for losing/misplacing/not having the receipt, I'd immediately head over to her daughter, hand it over, smile, and sweetly say something like "this looks like your size, honey. Maybe you'll get some use of it. Merry Christmas!" Nothing like getting your own stuff back for Christmas!

Now before anyone gets upset, I know it's not Auntie's daughter's fault and I'm not suggesting this be taken out on the kid but everyone there will know that you know that it's a pretty thoughtless regift.

By the way - the person in my family who does this? My mother. For Christmas 2007 (I was 38) she regifted something to me that my 12 year old brother (yes, brother - 12 yrs old) didn't even want for his birthday in November.... an alarm clock that projects the time on the ceiling. I was there... on his birthday... when he opened it. I very literally cried on the way home that night because I had spent hours thinking about what to get her and then many trips to different stores to find just the right one (cordless phone set with the main phone and three handsets with docking stations that can be placed anywhere throughout the house - with a larger keypad and number display with just the right backlight in case she doesn't have her glasses with her). Christmas of 2008 she gave me The Clapper Deluxe. It's the thought (or utterly complete lack thereof) that counts. I give up.

 

[Disney Doll]

I would probably just say "You know Auntie Soandso, with the financial world the way it is these days, and all the other expenses we all have on our plates right now, why don't we just forego giving each other gifts this year for Christmas and just spend the day enjoying each other's company?".

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Why doesn't your Fiance open his mouth? Is it his DD too? Why would he not defend his own child? If it isn't his child and he doesn't defend her then I would have to question that as well. If you are your own little family then he should stand up for you. If not then I personally would wonder a lot of things. Good luck.