What should children call non-family adults?

[ZephyrHawk]

This was inspired by another thread on here which mentioned children calling adults by their first names and not Mr./Mrs./Ms./Dr./etc. I have to admit, this is a pet peeve of mine. I was brought up to call all adults by their proper titles, to the point where I had a hard time wrapping my head around calling a friend of mine (about 10 years older and an adult, with a family and everything when I met him) by his first name. I will raise my children to call all our adult friends by their last names, and DH (though he doesn't think it's important like I do) is okay with this.

But I think my friends have other ideas. We're all starting to have kids now and it rankles me every time one of the little darlings (who I adore otherwise) calls me by my first name. One friend, who just had her first, introduced me to the 2 month-old as Aunt MyFirstName. My response was, "Hi sweetie, I'm not really your aunt."

So am I crazy? Should I just get used to all my friends kids acting like they're my friends (they're not, they're my charges every time their parents leave the room)? Will I be the only person whose kids get reprimanded for forgetting that someone should be addressed as Dr. LastName and not Mr. or Mrs.?

 

[NMAmy]

When I grew up, we called our parents' friends by their first name. I've always preferred to have my friends' children call me by my first name, as well.

 

[Acklander]

Personally, we're pretty casual - and so are our friends. So, people we hang with are all on a first name basis. If you prefer to be called Mr., Miss, Mrs. Or Ms - just let the kids (or their parents) know your preference.
When someone addresses me as mrs. I let them know that I prefer my first name, and that first name is fine. I would be sad to think someone was being reprimanded for following my wishes.

 

[Jennasis]

Growing up, all my sister's friends called my mother "MOM". My bff called my Mom "Mrs. Smith", but I called her mom "Joanne" (by request).

Whatever people are comfortable with is fine with me.

 

[dislal]

I just let my kids friends call me whatever they are comfortable with.

I still don't know what to call my MIL weve been married almost 19 yrs .

my DD 17 boyfriend has called me by my first name since day one and I'm ok with that. (they've been dating almost 2 yrs)

I get

My first name
Mrs/miss first name
Mrs/miss last name
Or my favorite by dd14 ( Samantha ) friends
Mrs. Sam's mom

 

[minkydog]

Here in the old South, we call adults Miz and Mister. It's just considered good manners. In my generation you just didn't call an adult by their first name. It was Miz Flowers or Miz Lucy or even Miz D.

Now, when I was very young, my mother and her 3 sisters decided they were going to be liberated women*(this was the 1950s). They thought they would be so forward-thinking by having us nieces and nephews call their by their first name, rather than Aunt. So we did. These aunts were the only adults I ever called by a first name. They thought it was very sophisticated. Well, as they aged, they regretted that decision. Each of them has expressed a sense of loss regarding the use of the word Aunt. So I started calling them Aunt Elizabeth and Aunt Margaret, instead of Liz and Marge and they *loved* it!

I am an aunt to 2 nieces and 3 nephews. From the beginning I have insisted they call us Aunt and Uncle. My own children wouldn't think of calling an adult by their first name, even though they are 19 and 25 now. And I think i will always be MizD to their friends.

 

[cabanafrau]

Generally I agree w/ you that children should address adults w/ their titles. However, some people are not comfortable w/ being addressed that way and their wishes should be respected.

We are probably more relaxed than you are about it, because my kids have plenty of Miss Carol, Miss Sue, Mr. Paul, etc., etc. than they do Mr. Smith, Mrs. Anderson, etc. The last names seem to crop up most often w/ their friends' parents, title and first name w/ our friends.

Did your friend seem at all offended when you responded to her baby w/ "I'm not really your aunt"? To me that likely meant your friend intends you to be a significant presence in her child's life. I have no natural nieces or nephews and it's unlikely I ever will. Among all of the friends and extended family and their children that I am incredibly close with, very few refer to me as Aunt. In my case I know the parents are specifically trying to designate a special relationship w/ the title. That is very special to me and music to my ears when a little voice -- some not so little anymore, pipe up w/ Aunt ___________,

 

[tink20]

My DD's friends have always called me Mrs.(my first name), but DS's friends call me Mrs.(my last name) I spend a lot of time helping out in DS's class and that's what the teacher calls me, so that's what they call me.

 

[ols386]

I was raised being around mostly relatives, so we called the adults Aunt so-and-so, or uncle so-and-so.

My parents had a couple who they were really close to, but not related, and we also called them Aunt and Uncle.

My kids grew up not being around a lot of relatives, but if they were around an Aunt or Uncle, that's what they called them. Other adults, like friends of mine, they called them by their first name, and everyone seemed ok with that.

Personally, I don't like a kid calling me Mrs. so-and-so. It makes me feel old, for some reason.

I think every family is different, and whatever works for them is fine.

 

[Janepod]

Other: whatever the adult wants to be called.

I insist kids call me Mrs. _______. Other friends want to be called by their first names. Whatever the adult wants is what the kid should do.

I don't see any reason for any kid to have that equal level/familiarity with me. I'm the adult. They're the kid. But to each his own.

 

[cluvsdisney]

I was raised calling all adults Mr. & Mrs. Last Name except for one woman, who we referred to as Aunt I think because her last name was very hard to say. To this day, I still refer to these adults as Mr. & Mrs. even though they gave the green light to use their first names.

Now that I am the adult, I truly have no preference and would go along with what the parents are comfortable with how their kids address adults.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

Growing up, all my sister's friends called my mother "MOM".

Shoot, I forgot this option and should have added it to the poll. My grandma was "Grandma" to everyone.

 

[blana]

The area I grew up in & now live in, most adults go by Mr./Ms. & their first name. However, my parents' best friends were Aunt & Uncle, and still are. And once I hit high school, most other kids' parents became "Mama & Poppa" LastName. It was rare growing up to call anyone by their last name. And in social situations, it was rare to refer to someone as Dr. They were jsut Mr/Ms First. Some transplants to the area have issues with that, & I try to get my children to respect what the person prefers.

 

[dislaney]

We always did the Mrs. (first name) especially when the last name was hard to pronounce.
Funny, my dd would have a fit when one of her friends had the nerve to call me just by my first name. She would tell them that it is Mrs. (first name) or Mrs. (last name) to you.

 

[SC Minnie]

Mr/Mrs First Name unless the adult tells them to call them something different.

 

[J3nn78]

I think it is whatever the adult wants to be called. For me, it is Mrs. X because I am a teacher in the school my children attend. Our friends prefer our kids call them by their first names. To do otherwise would be rude IMO. I have one friend who is also a teacher and though she has known my kids since birth, they address her as Mrs. X.

 

[pyrxtc]

whatever the adult prefers to be called. some of my kids friends call me Linda and some call me Mrs .... I don't think any of it bothers me. I am Mom to my kids and Aunt to my nephew and niece. I would give up Aunt for anything

 

[NY Disney fan]

We're all starting to have kids now and it rankles me every time one of the little darlings (who I adore otherwise) calls me by my first name.

I actually PREFER when little kids call me by my first name. I dont like titles at all. I don't like to be called "aunt" or "Miss".

 

[ols386]

If you call someone Mr. so-and-so, or Mrs. so-and-so while you are a kid growing up, what do you call them when YOU become an adult?

Still Mr. or Mrs., or do you switch to the first name?

Curious.

 

[thruthelookinglass19]

Growing up, most of my friends parents or my parents friends were Mr. or Mrs. so and so. There were a few we called by their first name. Today, at the age of 40, I still have a hard time referring to some of the former "mr or mrs" by their first name; they'll always be Mr. or Mrs. so and so!

Some of my mom's best friends from when *she* was growing up are Aunt's to me. . . and some of my actual Aunt's and Uncle's who married a blood relative of mine when I was an adult are just called by their first names.

And, I personally hate being "Ms. Jen" or "Ms. Watt". . . dunno why, but my preference is just to be called by my first name.