What should children call non-family adults?

[mjantz]

As a parent I start with my kids calling someone 'Mr or Mrs/Ms LastName'. If that's what the person wants, that is what they are called. The majority of our friends are fine with 'Mr/Mrs/Ms FirstName' & once they express that preference my kids are allowed to call them that.
I prefer being called 'Ms FirstName' but I teach so there are a lot of kids who call me 'Ms LastName'. I don't know that I can explain it completely but I don't like my kids friends to just call me by my first name. I don't expect them to grovel or anything but I want to remind them that I'm the adult/parent & they're the kid. I'm not their equal.

 

[PaulaSB12]

I have 2 nieces and a nephew all 18 by my sister, they have have called me by by my first name from the moment they could talk. I didn't want to be called auntie and my sister had no problem with it. I still prefer to be called by my name rather than miss or ms (in fact I hate Ms)

 

[JenniferIL]

My friends' kids call me Jen or Miss Jen or Aunt Jen. I am fine with all of those. I would feel very weird if they called me Mrs._________.

 

[LONES]

I'm in my early 40's. I don't know why... but it drives me batty to be referred to as "Miss Firstname". Our friends that have the rudest, most disrespectful child that we are around insist that he call us "Miss and Mr. Firstname". I don't view the "Miss" title as a sign of respect at all. I guess in situations where the parents insist their child can't just call me by my name, I'd rather it was "Mrs. Lastname". My kids are only 7 and 5, but when their friends ask my name or what to call me, I just give them my firstname.

 

[bookgirl]

I voted other.

I actually prefer being called by my first name, but since I work with kids (supervise up to 60 teen volunteers) I get a variation.

Some call me by my first name (which is what I told them to call me)

Some put Ms on the front

Some use Ms and my last name

my godchildren use Aunt as do my nephews

friends children either call me Aunt or first name

nephews friends call me first name or aunt or Ms (my last name and DN last name) I even answer to D...'s Aunt which cracks me up as they know what kid I belong to and my relationship to him.


I actually don't care, I let the kids parents dictate what they call me as it's their call and their choice to raise thier kids at whatever level of fomality THEY are comfortable with. As long as they use whatever title/name respectfully I'm good.

 

[peyjax]

I am extremely curious to the ages of those who are outraged that kids call them by their first name.

Like the PP mentioned, I doubt seriously that by calling a person by a formal name denotes that the child is well behaved.

 

[Handbag Lady]

I am an aunt to so many children, I forget how many. I have one "blood" niece but I love them all so much.

There are some of which we would become guardians of in case of emergency. I am SO glad these precious ones call me Aunt and my husband Uncle. If the worst would happen, we feel it would help the wee one transition instead of having to call us Mr. and Mrs. B.

Besides, Mrs. B is my mother-in-law.

So, I'll take Aunt over Miss/Ms. any day. Also, we have one guy who calls my husband Aunt and I am Uncle. It was on a card we sent to be funny when he just started reading and it just stuck.

 

[jen0610]

For me, the friends of the kids can call me Ms/iss J or Jen. Mom/Momma J or Jen.

When dealing with roughly 120 to 150 band kids, you get Mom/Momma first or last name outta them.

For DH, every single one starts out calling him Sir. He was a MP in the Army and he still very much looks the part and gives off the police authority vibe. Once the kids get to know him, he gets called either Dad or his first name.

 

[MrsDuck]

My parents have always asked my friends to call them by their first names.

However, DFi's parents have always been "Miss. Firstname" and "Mr. Firstname". He was raised in the South and I think it was a culture thing.

 

[shoney]

I always introduce myself to my kid's friends by my first name. That is what I want to be called.

I don't like MRS (last name) at all. It is just too formal for me. I had one parent insist on it...whatever

I really, really don't like MISS (first name)...sounds too much like a Pre-school teacher.

I hate ma'am...don't call me ma'am...LOL

 

[MM27]

I guess whatever the individual person feels comfortable with. My 6 year old niece calls me by my first name (without the aunt) and although I have corrected her, I feel it's a no win battle because my brother and sister in law don't correct her as well. I think for me it's more of a personal hurt feeling because my sil's side of the family is all addressed as aunt/uncle.

 

[eliza61]

But I think my friends have other ideas. We're all starting to have kids now and it rankles me every time one of the little darlings (who I adore otherwise) calls me by my first name. One friend, who just had her first, introduced me to the 2 month-old as Aunt MyFirstName. My response was, "Hi sweetie, I'm not really your aunt."

So am I crazy? Should I just get used to all my friends kids acting like they're my friends (they're not, they're my charges every time their parents leave the room)? Will I be the only person whose kids get reprimanded for forgetting that someone should be addressed as Dr. LastName and not Mr. or Mrs.?

This is me. I don't let strangers or children call me by my given name. My sons friends are not my friends. I don't have 18 year old friends. I don't mind "Mrs. Eliza" but there has to be a "Mrs" in front.
One of my neighbors kids tried to call me by my first name but I simply corrected her.
My nieces and nephews all call me "Auntie".
To this day, I still cannot call any of my parents friends by their given name.

 

[Minnesota!]

I hate hate hate hate hate hearing kids say "Mrs./Mr." etc. It grates on me like crazy. I grew up calling people by their first name....all adults (except teachers).

And I know my friends were raised the same way as they never once called my mom anything other than her first name.

Going even further, I hate calling actual blood relatives by their titles..like "Aunt Nancy" or "Uncle Jim"...it's so redundant! Everyone KNOWS they are your aunt/uncle...why the added moniker?

However, my godchildren call me Auntie (no blood relation) and I have no problem with it (and vice versa for my kids...adding Aunt and Uncle to the names of my BFF's and their spouses, or their god parents).

It's a huge pet peeve of mine.

 

[design_mom]

I agree that it should be whatever the adult prefers.

For my kids, they are supposed to start with Mrs./Mr./Coach Lastname, as a sign of respect. However, if the adult says "you can call me _________," then they are permitted to use that name. Most of their friends' parents go by Mrs./Mr. Lastname, but we have a few neighbors who have requested first names.

We have a couple of family members that we see at extended family functions who get "honorary titles" like Aunt and Grandpa even if they're not technically MY kids' relations. (Like their cousins' grandpa, from the other side, is "Grandpa Lastname" even though he's no relation to my kids. And my husband's cousin who has kids the same age as ours is Aunt Firstname, because that's easier than First-Cousin-Once-Removed Firstname -- but calling her JUST by her first name or calling her Mrs. Lastname doesn't seem right either.) It works for us, and as far as I know everyone is satisfied with what they are called.

So as long as everyone is satisfied and feels that they are being treated with respect, then I don't care what my kids call them.

 

[1Mouse2RulethemAll]

I responded other. My girls say Sir/Ma'am until told otherwise by the person.

 

[cabanafrau]

I voted other. I think kids should call adults whatever they want to be called. I think at first they should address them as Mrs. or Mr. So-and-So, but if the adult says "please, call me by my first name" then that is just fine. Personally I didn't care to be called Mrs., and always asked my kids' friends to call me by my first name.

I do think you went a tad overboard with your friend who introduced her 2-month old baby to you and said "this is your AuntMyFirstName." She probably feels like she is a close enough friend to you to do that, and you shot her down. I would have been flattered to be introduced that way, knowing that my friend thought enough of me to think of me as an "aunt" to her baby.

I thought the same thing about the friend's feelings until I read the OP's response. Sounds like the friend has newmommyitis & may be extending the titles to everyone.

 

[The Wise One]

When I was growing up it just depended. My parents close friends were just called by their first names. Anyone else it was Ms./Mr. First Name.

 

[Coconut36]

I teach my kids to go by whatever the adult prefers. They default to Mr/Mrs but if told to call by first name they do.

My best friend is Uncle to them and he likes that and considers it a honor to be an honorary uncle (I am an only child and he is godfather to one of my kids) but I would not use an aunt/uncle title unless previously cleared/liked by someone.

I don't think Mr/Mrs or Firstname indicates anything regarding how well behaved a child is at all. Everyone is different in regards to what they are comfortable with and the child might be more familiar with a certain way (first name, Mrs/Mr First name, Mr/Mrs Last name) and go with that by default with everyone they meet.

At my youngest preschool they taught the kids to call them Miss Firstname instead of last name for example.

Growing up very close family friends I called by first name..friends parents or people not as close I called by Mr/Mrs Lastname unless they requested I use first name.

 

[NikitaZee]

I voted other. Mrs. NikitaZee is too formal to me, but a 6 year old calling me by my first name feels too casual. So I'm Mrs. 'N' to my kids' friends - that feels just right.

 

[momto2girls]

I hate children calling adults by their first names. It just seems so wrong to me. When I introduce my kids to adults, I always say, "Daughter, this is Mrs. Smith" (or sometimes Miss Smith if the child is young). Fortunately, we've never had an adult say, "Please, call me Nancy." If that happened, my kids would probably call her "Miss Nancy" or just nothing at all. Around here at least, adults are more concerned about the children addressing the adults the way the parent wants than how they prefer to be addressed. I'd feel very uncomfortable having my kids address an adult without a title.