What passes through your mind....

[DisneyBamaFan]

I usually check the thread to see what set the person off. Almost everyone on this forum has been guilty of this at least once, and when I check, it is usually with cause (I say usually because every once in a while they simply come out of the blue ).

We all have bad days...

 

[LuvOrlando]

I'm not talking about the people who have something to say, even if they are upset because that's understandable to me, I'm talking about the drive-by sorts.

I like the answers you guys are giving, some make me think & others make me giggle. So far, I have not used the ignore button because life would be a bore without all the colors. Still, I sometimes wonder why some people choose the ugliest brown crayon they can find to color the world

 

[OceanAnnie]

I usually check the thread to see what set the person off. Almost everyone on this forum has been guilty of this at least once, and when I check, it is usually with cause (I say usually because every once in a while they simply come out of the blue ).

We all have bad days...

True. I agree with your post.

IMO, There is no one answer.

 

[dawson5]

I usually look at who posted it, shake my head and say to myself "why am I not surprised?" Then I log in and the ignore list goes into effect.

If they were nice when it came to disagreeing, I would have no problem with them but rude and nasty earns the ignore. Life is too short to put up with mean/rude/nasty people, especially if their rudeness ends up coloring my day.

 

[TwinsinCA]

What passes through your mind when you stumble across a really nasty unprovoked post even if it has nothing at all to do with you?

I assume there is a history between the posters and it is spilling into the current thread.

 

[cm8]

I usually just think that I'm glad that my life isn't that miserable.

You can say that again.

Then I






Sometimes there are just no words for the emotions I feel. I also at times wish to type out a long response in regards to the comment, but then I end up letting it go because it could be seen as a personal attack and I would be the one getting the points. Some people are just not worth it.

The one thing that works really well for me is something my Mom use to say all the time. It is a well known quote and seems to be quite relevant at times:

"Never argue with a fool; onlookers may not be able to tell the difference." _ MT

 

[lovetoscrap]

I guess I would ask why no one seems to want to report it?

If it is truly a nasty attack then it is against our guidelines. You can disagree, you can be sarcastic to a point. But if someone is directly calling others names or being hateful why either ignore it or respond to it? By responding you are just increasing your chances of problems for yourself if someone else reports it. Remember the saying "Don't wrestle with pigs. You just end up in the mud and the pig enjoys it." And "Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person". . .

Moderators can't and don't read every thread. They have jobs and families and lives and they do rely on others reporting things to alert them to issues. We don't go scouting the boards looking for nasties. We mostly just join in the conversations of topics we are knowledgeable about or enjoy, and offer help when needed, just like we did before becoming moderators. If someone is repeatedly nasty nothing can be done if we don't know about it. That is exactly what the dreaded "points" system is designed for. So if they are nasty on one board and get points, then are nasty on another, and another, and another there is a record to see that there is a pattern of unacceptable behavior. Otherwise, you will see the same rude nasty person over and over again.

Just because you can't agree or don't share their viewpoint is not a reason to report. But if they are being so mean that it makes you go then let the moderators or webmasters know so they can decide if it needs further attention.

 

[lovetoscrap]

It is a well known quote and seems to be quite relevant at times:

"Never argue with a fool; onlookers may not be able to tell the difference." _ MT

I like that one too!

 

[gracie1]

I always thought maybe there was a 'clique' on these boards that posted rude comments. I even got a pm from someone on one of my posts to tell me that they felt sorry for me for the rude comments
They were rude and eventually I just didn't go back onto my post to read it, but oh well. You move on.

Luckily there are people like you guys on here who are friendly and not snarky and rude!

 

[disneychic2]

I also usually think I'm glad I'm not as miserable as they must be. It's one thing to disagree, but really it is uncalled for to be mean spirited. There is a difference! I usually just say a quick prayer for that person and move on.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I always thought maybe there was a 'clique' on these boards that posted rude comments. I even got a pm from someone on one of my posts to tell me that they felt sorry for me for the rude comments
They were rude and eventually I just didn't go back onto my post to read it, but oh well. You move on.

Luckily there are people like you guys on here who are friendly and not snarky and rude!

I do think that happens sometimes. I really don't like to see a "pile on" of mean snarkiness from posters aimed one poster. I don't care about my opinion about the topic, it's just really bad to see someone treated that way. Disagree fine, but don't beat a person up about it.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I guess I would ask why no one seems to want to report it?

If it is truly a nasty attack then it is against our guidelines. You can disagree, you can be sarcastic to a point. But if someone is directly calling others names or being hateful why either ignore it or respond to it? By responding you are just increasing your chances of problems for yourself if someone else reports it. Remember the saying "Don't wrestle with pigs. You just end up in the mud and the pig enjoys it." And "Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person". . .

Moderators can't and don't read every thread. They have jobs and families and lives and they do rely on others reporting things to alert them to issues. We don't go scouting the boards looking for nasties. We mostly just join in the conversations of topics we are knowledgeable about or enjoy, and offer help when needed, just like we did before becoming moderators. If someone is repeatedly nasty nothing can be done if we don't know about it. That is exactly what the dreaded "points" system is designed for. So if they are nasty on one board and get points, then are nasty on another, and another, and another there is a record to see that there is a pattern of unacceptable behavior. Otherwise, you will see the same rude nasty person over and over again.

Just because you can't agree or don't share their viewpoint is not a reason to report. But if they are being so mean that it makes you go then let the moderators or webmasters know so they can decide if it needs further attention.

Duly noted, I'm guilty of this. I can only remember reporting someone once a good long while back (more than a year) because I had started a thread and the person was plainly taking it into against the rules territory to get the thread banned on purpose, and probably me points.... so sad & obvious but it does tend to work, probably because like you said Mods can't see everything. There seems to be a distant bell that maybe there was one other time when something was really filthy, but that's about it, I guess there could be more but they would have to be ancient. I'm not really comfortable with reporting stuff because I tend to think that people who do are a little on the passive aggressive troublemaker side, but I never thought of it from the Mod point of view. Hmmmm, but how do you report stuff and not be a pest, it seems really easy to drift over 'tis a puzzlement.

 

[Planogirl]

I think that like a PP said, there is sometimes bad history that onlookers may not be aware of. Sometimes you'll see the other person say something about being stalked even though I don't think that squabbling online is actually stalking but that tells you that there's more to it than just one nasty comment.

I don't think that there is any organized effort to be nasty from current DISers or from those from the past. Some people will talk about others but I think that most of the nasty comments are from independent posters.

I believe that it's best to just ignore these comments. Does it really matter so much what one person thinks?

 

[Tiger926]

I assume there is a history between the posters and it is spilling into the current thread.

Not always. I haven't had histories with some posters, and they have been so mean and nasty. And in subsequent posts, I see the same thing, so it had nothing to do with me, but with them.

The one thing that works really well for me is something my Mom use to say all the time. It is a well known quote and seems to be quite relevant at times:

"Never argue with a fool; onlookers may not be able to tell the difference." _ MT

So true!

I guess I would ask why no one seems to want to report it?

If it is truly a nasty attack then it is against our guidelines. You can disagree, you can be sarcastic to a point. But if someone is directly calling others names or being hateful why either ignore it or respond to it? By responding you are just increasing your chances of problems for yourself if someone else reports it. Remember the saying "Don't wrestle with pigs. You just end up in the mud and the pig enjoys it." And "Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person". . .

Moderators can't and don't read every thread. They have jobs and families and lives and they do rely on others reporting things to alert them to issues. We don't go scouting the boards looking for nasties. We mostly just join in the conversations of topics we are knowledgeable about or enjoy, and offer help when needed, just like we did before becoming moderators. If someone is repeatedly nasty nothing can be done if we don't know about it. That is exactly what the dreaded "points" system is designed for. So if they are nasty on one board and get points, then are nasty on another, and another, and another there is a record to see that there is a pattern of unacceptable behavior. Otherwise, you will see the same rude nasty person over and over again.

Just because you can't agree or don't share their viewpoint is not a reason to report. But if they are being so mean that it makes you go then let the moderators or webmasters know so they can decide if it needs further attention.

I attempted to report someone years ago, and it went nowhere, despite people PMing with their support and acknowledgement that certain posters were rude. I have walked away from many threads, as there are a few posters, and I am going through the list in my head, who are mean and nasty in pretty much every post. But perhaps calling someone's husband a disgusting pig or a loser is allowed on the boards? It must be, because I've seen this many times, or words very similar, as well as people being very rude on the parenting board with certain topics.

Like I said, I don't ignore people, and I don't report, as I'm not really sure what will come of it? I think it's all subjective...what is rude to me, might not be rude to someone else, including a moderator? Short of making a list of unacceptable words, what else can be done? Also, there is tone, sarcasm and implications that are thrown around too.

As you said, moderators have a hard job in before them, and they have real lives as well. They can't possibly see each and every conversation that plays out on the DIS, and I would never expect them to. Not sure what the answer is?

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and for doing the hard job of moderating.

I always thought maybe there was a 'clique' on these boards that posted rude comments. I even got a pm from someone on one of my posts to tell me that they felt sorry for me for the rude comments
They were rude and eventually I just didn't go back onto my post to read it, but oh well. You move on.

Luckily there are people like you guys on here who are friendly and not snarky and rude!

I used to think there was a clique as well, and if there isn't, it seems at times that moderators may have different tolerances for certain posters? I have seen some downright puzzling and rude posts that are allowed to continue to be...

Duly noted, I'm guilty of this. I can only remember reporting someone once a good long while back (more than a year) because I had started a thread and the person was plainly taking it into against the rules territory to get the thread banned on purpose, and probably me points.... so sad & obvious but it does tend to work, probably because like you said Mods can't see everything. There seems to be a distant bell that maybe there was one other time when something was really filthy, but that's about it, I guess there could be more but they would have to be ancient. I'm not really comfortable with reporting stuff because I tend to think that people who do are a little on the passive aggressive troublemaker side, but I never thought of it from the Mod point of view. Hmmmm, but how do you report stuff and not be a pest, it seems really easy to drift over 'tis a puzzlement.

Great question, IMHO. Like I said, I feel that calling someone's spouse or children names should not be allowed, yet it repeatedly is. I'm not sure either...?

Tiger

 

[DMRick]

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I'm with you. There are a few people though that start stuff just by the 'smiley's' they use. That saves them points, and they get their nastiness across.
I don't see it as a big problem however..if you ignore it and don't respond they usually lose interest.

 

[rie'smom]

Sometimes, I try to defend the poster who was attacked.

Sometimes, the attacked is me and I'll defend myself.

Sometimes, I can tell by the way a snarky post is written it's clear the snark has misunderstood and I'll try to clear it up.

Sometimes, I get hacked off, think I don't care if I get kicked off the DIS, and type up a really angry response but then I realize how much I really do like the DIS community, erase it, then I unsubscribe from the thread.

Sometimes I let it go with no response.

Sometimes I'm snarky but I tend to have a guilty conscience which makes me feel terrible so I've been working hard not to be a snark.

It depends on the day and on the time of day.