What makes your marriage/relationship work?

[Lil Lil]

Notice more threads about divorce/break-ups. Just wanted to hear from those who are happily married and what makes your marriage work? What types of things do you do together as a couple. Luckily I've been happily married for a little over 10 yrs and fortunately we have the same interests and we try to do things together. Like we grocery shop, dine out on the weekends, go to the movies often, etc... One bonus is we don't have kids which allows us plently of quiet time together

 

[sajetto]

Our relationship works because we share responsibilities, we make sure to do romantic things for each other every once in a while, and we do almost everything together like buying groceries, shopping, cooking, excercising,etc.

 

[beckmrk04]

Love, communication, respect, honesty, HUMOR. We've only been married 1 1/2 years, but we're working on 6 years together (5 1/2 living together).

We try to do things we both like to do (museums, movies, going to dinner) and then we each indulge in things the other one likes, but we don't (my dh will take me to see a musical, or I'll do something he likes, but I don't..) We talk, a lot- probably MORE than enough for him- but hey- I'm a talker!!

It's easy for us too, right now, because we don't have kids yet. I guess those times will be a bit harder, but we'll just try to keep our basic principles (love, communication, respect, honesty, humor) the same!

 

[wdwmom2]

I think that love, trust, and communication are the most important parts of my marriage. Just like you, we do everything together. Groceries, odd and end running errands, visiting family and friends, and lots of recreational time (motorcycling, jetsking, traveling, etc.). We just enjoy each others company . I look forward to spending many, many happy years with my hubby!!!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I think getting through the "young kid stage" is key. It is really hard to not feel "cheated", ignored, stressed out....esp. if you have a kid who has higher needs than what you were expecting.
You have to come together as a unit and be on the same page. That really, really helped our marriage.

Basically with everything working it out and giving lots of love, hugs, support, and just being in tune with your partner.

We just "do" the basics of life right now. Kids and dogs keep us busy and that is fine.

 

[THE HAT]

oooo a happy thread yea!!!!
dh and i have been married for 12 years, and together for 13 --though we did date on and off in high school for 2 or 3.
we have one ds age 8 will be 9 in may.
what is the backbone of our marriage, before we fell in love with each other we fell in like, and became the best of friends for a year b4 we dated (after the highschool stuff that was just lame, i wasn't going to "go out" with a guy away at college, 2yrs older then me, going to the biggest party school in our state, though i was up there almost every weekend with girlfriends who went there. he say's i couldn't stay away, i say i was there to warn the others of him lmao)
so no matter what goes on in this crazy world, we still have the friendship as our base, and it is solid, and strong, and holds everything we have built on it.
dh works alot he is a buyer at a local lumber yard, plus he has his own business of building homes, and installing docks. (the dock part being the biggest part). i am able to be a sahm, and volunteer at ds school and be a parent advocate there as well.
dh doesn't miss anything that is HUGE, he might miss a supper with us here and there, but ds is usually busy that night and it is a grab and go meal anyway. ds also knows that dad working like he does ebables me to be home, and for him to belong to his karate club, and theater, and swim etc etc.
dh doesn't go out with the guys, he doesn't come home and plop in front of the tv. with a beer, he doesn't watch sports, he is 110% here with us, when he isn't working for us.
i have never gone to bed without him, we have never slept a night apart, not even when i gave birth to ds.
we go out to eat alone once a month, and out with the inlaws and ds once a month as well.
after ds is in bed, dh and i will talk or play cards.

we are a united front with ds and he knows it. he also knows he has it made in life, and that we have his back for ever. we always say it is us 3 against the world.

we can stay up all night talking, every night if we don't force ourselves to go to bed. it has been this way all our years together. we make each other laugh, every day, deep big hearty can't catch your breath laughs.
we love each other more every day.

yep we sound sappy as heck but oh well.....we have a huge couch but you will find us glued at the hip on it in one corner. oh well, doesn't sound like a bad way to grow old now does it?
i just wish more people had this. we are very lucky! sorry if i bored you!! hehe

 

[paigevz]

We don't sweat the small stuff.............

Ignore the little stuff we each do that bugs the other.......................

Tell each other when to back off.......................

Back off when we're told to back off.................

Face the big stuff head on together.......................

Do not play the "blame game" the "always/never game", the "4 years ago you said" game, or the "veto the other when it comes to the kids" game.

Just edited to say we also do almost everything together except occasional father/son specialties. I read somewhere that physical touching is important, too, and I realized we do touch a lot. Like another poster, we sit close on the couch, we will touch each other's shoulders or hold hands in public (sorry if it bugs others, we like it), kiss each other hello and goodbye, and well............................make time..............

 

[Pigeon]

We'll be having our 25th wedding anniversary this summer. We are more in love than ever. There is no one I'd rather spend time with than my dh.

Not to sound too Pollyannaish, but we are kind to each other and we treat each other with respect. I know so many couples who spend so much time and energy sniping at each other, and who treat their spouses with far less regard than they treat friends, co-workers or pets.

 

[Lil Lil]

oooo a happy thread yea!!!!
dh and i have been married for 12 years, and together for 13 --though we did date on and off in high school for 2 or 3.
we have one ds age 8 will be 9 in may.
what is the backbone of our marriage, before we fell in love with each other we fell in like, and became the best of friends for a year b4 we dated (after the highschool stuff that was just lame, i wasn't going to "go out" with a guy away at college, 2yrs older then me, going to the biggest party school in our state, though i was up there almost every weekend with girlfriends who went there. he say's i couldn't stay away, i say i was there to warn the others of him lmao)
so no matter what goes on in this crazy world, we still have the friendship as our base, and it is solid, and strong, and holds everything we have built on it.
dh works alot he is a buyer at a local lumber yard, plus he has his own business of building homes, and installing docks. (the dock part being the biggest part). i am able to be a sahm, and volunteer at ds school and be a parent advocate there as well.
dh doesn't miss anything that is HUGE, he might miss a supper with us here and there, but ds is usually busy that night and it is a grab and go meal anyway. ds also knows that dad working like he does ebables me to be home, and for him to belong to his karate club, and theater, and swim etc etc.
dh doesn't go out with the guys, he doesn't come home and plop in front of the tv. with a beer, he doesn't watch sports, he is 110% here with us, when he isn't working for us.
i have never gone to bed without him, we have never slept a night apart, not even when i gave birth to ds.
we go out to eat alone once a month, and out with the inlaws and ds once a month as well.
after ds is in bed, dh and i will talk or play cards.

we are a united front with ds and he knows it. he also knows he has it made in life, and that we have his back for ever. we always say it is us 3 against the world.

we can stay up all night talking, every night if we don't force ourselves to go to bed. it has been this way all our years together. we make each other laugh, every day, deep big hearty can't catch your breath laughs.
we love each other more every day.

yep we sound sappy as heck but oh well.....we have a huge couch but you will find us glued at the hip on it in one corner. oh well, doesn't sound like a bad way to grow old now does it?
i just wish more people had this. we are very lucky! sorry if i bored you!! hehe

No your story didn't bore me. I love reading heartwarming stories! I also feel very lucky & Very blessed ! DH and I enjoy cuddling up and watching the tube too!

 

[JadenLayne]

The first thing that came to my mind was humor and fun but it goes so much deeper than that.

You have to have love (of course) and trust. You have to truly like each other as people and like spending time together. My husband is my best friend. We don't go out without each other. Neither of us has any desire to do so. There is no Boys or Girls night out in our house.

We like to have fun and constantly pick on each other. I guess it also helps that there is no doubt in my mind that he is my soul mate as well.

 

[tmt martins]

Pick Your Battles There will always be one

DW and I coming up on 14 yrs of bliss.been together on and off ( before Marriage) for 21 yrs.total.

Have some just your time (and that doesn't mean at a bar) We do an adult only 3 or 4 day trip everyyear .
We talked about what we wanted in this before we did it (both from bad broken homes) and we work very hard everyday to keep this train rolling.

 

[grlpwrd]

This May marks our 20th that we've been friends - best friends. We've been married for almost 15 years.

What makes it work for us? I married my best friend.

 

[polly p]

Making time for each other. DH and I have very busy schedules. We have been married for almost 17 years and have 3 very busy children. We are usually running in opposite directions most nights of the week.

He works all shifts and I work days, so when we can we meet for lunch. We have "dates" at least once a month. we love our time together and do shopping and errands together when we can.

We know it won't be this crazy forever. The kids will be grown before we know it, but I don't want to look at him in 10 years and think "who are you?"

 

[Shugardrawers]

On the surface, love is the answer. We love each other deeply. But it's more than that. Love is not a feeling. It's an action, a choice we make every day. Some days Dh isn't quite as lovable as others (I have my days too) and I have to remind myself I made a commitment to him, and to myself, and that I need to honor that. Fortunately, it's usually not too hard. We also don't argue. We talk, we discuss, sometimes we disagree, but we don't argue. We don't yell, we don't fight, we don't hurt each other's feelings. At our wedding we promised to do 4 things: love, honor, cherish and respect one another. We do that. Every day. In our marriage, failure is not an option.

 

[Clumsy]

Definitely communication! We never keep secrets from one another. We don't fight. If we disagree, we talk to each other. Also we try and make time to do things together, especially the weekends. That's our time. We don't do boys night or girls night. He is definitely my best friend. We can talk about anything. We love to travel and share the same interests. He always keeps me laughing. I'm a lucky lady !

 

[slo]

I feel our marriage works because:

*We give each other our space w/o guilt
*We have clear understandings about our responsibilites around the house. My DH does everything outside and I do everything inside. We agreed that I won't ask him to pick up a vaccuum if he doesn't ask me to cut the lawn or blow the snow.
*We respect each other's interests. I love my Disney things and he loves his auto racing. Neither one is less important than another.
*We try to make each other happy regardless what day it is - even with just small things.
*When he goes out with his friends, just a couple times a year, I am open with what they have done or where they went. I don't Police him like other wives do with their husbands . I don't believe in keeping secrets unless you are planning a surprise.

I've been married to my DH almost 11 years and I've been with him since we were 16 years old - that's almost 19 years. We've had our highs and our lows, but most important, we learned from them, didn't hold grudges, and made our relationship stronger. I definitly feel that we'll be together until death due us part!!!!

 

[Ranatra]

Love, communication, respect, honesty, HUMOR.

That's it exactly.

It also helps seeing eye to eye on most things, as we usually do.

 

[KelNottAt]

Our marriage has a very firm and stable foundation of deep, deep love. But, like Mama always said, "love don't pay the bills, change the diapers, or cook the dinner."

So, if marriage were a coin, love would be "heads" for us. The other side, tails, would be sharing the responsibilities: earning a paycheck, doing the household chores, keeping obligations to the ILs, etc. etc. It takes a lot of work, sacrifice, and - as unromantic as it is - financial agreement to help a marriage succeed.

One minor factor I can also point to is DH's travel schedule. He's out of town for work about 100 - 120 days per year. Absence really does make hearts grow fonder.

 

[pta-mom]

Our marriage works because I am the Queen and he is the servant, here to fulfill my every whim!!




DON'T FLAME ME!!! IT IS A JOKE!!!

 

[we3disneygo]

were celebrating 20 years of marriage this year and 27 years as a couple!!! working together and being best friends--