Not all colleges provide it, but there are companies that are building private college housing that is super luxurious. I can't find any links quickly, but we're talking cable, internet, gyms, pools, concierge services. Stuff that I would pay 50% than my current rent to afford a complex like that.
Maybe they're out there. We've only toured three colleges so far, but I haven't seen any advertising for such places -- and you'd think they'd hit up the Open House crowd pretty hard.
We've told our high school junior daughter that we'll pay the cost of a dorm each year. If she chooses to live in a more expensive apartment, we'll still give her the cost of a dorm -- but she'll have to figure out how to pay the rest. She's pretty frugal, and I wouldn't be surprised to see her live in the dorms all four years. She's also very social, and she doesn't like to cook or clean. She's really the perfect dorm girl.
Anyway, I consider the dorms a perfect first-place-away-from-home. Not too expensive, not so luxurious that entitlement issues come into play, and a little safer than private apartments. And it leaves plenty of room for "moving up in the world" after graduation.
Unless by concierge they are referring to someone sitting at the front desk. Which I think is pretty standard at any residence hall or apartment building geared to college kids. It's usually a resident working, who gives out spare keys, packages, handles emergencies, etc.
I had that job! Just as you described, we'd give out change for the washing machines, answer questions, give out packages too large to fit in mailboxes, check out the vaccum cleaner and other equipment to students. It was an easy, fun job just sitting in the lobby for a couple hours. If you worked the early hours, you could chat with people coming/going to dinner. If you worked the late shift, you could count on study time. It was nothing like a concierge.
I disagree with your generalization. I know many, MANY hardworking 18-24 year olds wo do "have a clue." I have two kids in that age group, that is where my experience comes from, from them and their peer group. What are you basing that generalization on? Your own kids or something else?
I know loads of hardworking kids that age, but I also know some serious slackards. Both personality types exist.
I'm thinking about one of my students who just got her driver's permit. She's expecting a pink Hummer for her 16th birthday -- just the lttle one, the Hummer 3 -- and IF she "only" gets her mom's old BMW she's going to be so mad she's going to tell her parents off and lock herself in her bedroom (or so she says). That kind of "doesn't have a clue" behavior is quite rampant. Thing is, I know her family, and she's not likely to get her wish. Of course, there are also plenty of kids like mine who are thrilled to be allowed to drive an old, paid-for hand-me-down from their parents.
I have seen a few cases of girls whose parents push them to choose to date the "nice" (clean cut) boy without ever asking the girl why she prefers to "punk" (nose ring, tattoo)--when the "nice" boy was pressuring her to do things she was not ready for and the "punk" was treating her with respect. Sometimes the girls seem able to say no when teh pressure is only coming from the boy, but when they feel mom and dad like this boy and want her to like him they feel like the pressure is coming from both sides and do things they really don't want to do
Sounds like you're doing exactly the same thing -- except that you prefer the punk to the clean-cut boy. You're still talking about judging him by his appearance assuming the hypothetical punk is the more genuine person. In my limited experience, the majority of kids have personalities that match their appearances. Not all, of course -- some will surprise you, and obviously everyone deserves a chance -- but in my experience, most kids' outward appearance does give a clue about their personality and values.
Oh boy I can chime in here. I base my generalizations on the H.S. girls and the freshmen girls I work with at my local CC. I'm a chemist who volunteers with 17-22 year old girls to steer them into careers in science and engineering (women are sorely lacking in those fields). Sorry I don't know 1 girl out of almost the 3000 in our program who doesn't own coach bags, MAC makeup or high tech phones.
I teach high school, and I know a whole bunch of girls who don't have those things. I teach seniors, and it is a rare kid who doesn't have a cell phone, but many of them have basic-Cricket type styles. Perhaps your view is biased by the fact that only the better students would choose to take part in a voluntary program, a program in science and engineering. There's a pretty strong correlation between grades and socio-economic status.
My mother died when I was 24 and it forced me to live on my own; but I was prepared. It was not easy; but I dont think its easy for anyone.
You bring up a good point. The poor kid thinks the rich kid has it made . . . the no-college kid thinks that the kid with a degree has it made . . . the kid with a social work degree thinks that the kid with the medical degee has it made. NONE OF THEM have it easy right out of college. Just about everyone has to live through some lean years before starting to live the good life -- and anyone who doesn't either inherited a bunch of money or is borrowing against his future earnings to do it.
Wow. She needs a man with good career aspirations to support her expensive tastes? I have three dds and I can't believe people ingrain things like this in young girls. How about having some good career aspirations of her own?
Nothing like a comment about wanting a daughter to marry well to bring out comments like this. Did the OP say that was the sole criteria for a potential husband? Did she even say it was the #1 priority?
I definitely want my daughters to marry men who have good career aspirations. What's the other option? To marry bums who'll need supporting? To marry men who'll be chronically under-employed? Who really wants that for their daughters? Who wants that example for their grandchildren? Yes, a good job and the potential to support his family is ONE OF THE THINGS I looked for in a husband, and I hope my daughters'll do the same thing.
Wanting son-in-laws with good jobs and a strong work ethic doens't mean that I don't ALSO WANT my daughters to have career aspirations for themselves. I absolutely expect them to go to college and earn degrees. It's one of the things I want most in the world, and I've spent considerable energy on their educations thusfar.
And I want my daughter to marry a man who will treat her with respect, and love her for who she is, and support her in her life's goals.
and is having a hell of a time getting rid of it, although most recently things have been getting better for him. He begged several times to come home but I dragged it out until after his high school graduation. (He moved back in the next day for the three months until boot camp).
) or your own apartment. At one point DS asked if he would be allowed to stay home if he decided to build a horticulture business and I agreed on several conditions.
my princess will be working and is already looking forward to college. She loves learning and school. I hope she goes far in life.. as do my other children 
).
