What is wrong here?!

[SuperSteelerFan]

I apologize in advance, this is going to be a long rant! I am a nurse and I was at work last night when my friend and co-worker had an unruly patient (I'm being kind). He is elderly and has severe dementia and is confused. He ripped out his IV and flung blood around the room, he hit and kicked, and he yelled out the most vulgar, sexual comments to all the nurses in the room (6 of us, all female). I however, was the lucky one who got to restart his IV and administer the meds to calm him down - here's my problem: while I was doing this, he was fondling my crotch! Of course, this behavior is totally unacceptable, but I can't retaliate like I would to any other man who would do this (like beat the snot out of him) because he's a patient in the hospital. Why is it acceptable for people like him to behave like this (I know he's confused, but he knew what he was doing because he made vulgar comments about it) and nothing gets done? If I had done something back to him, I could be sued for abuse but he can just fondle anyone he pleases and it's ok. Well, it's not OK and the public needs to realize what we go through as nurses. Patients and their families can physically and verbally abuse to their hearts content because nothing is ever done about it, and the nurses have to "take it". There is a situation right now on the same floor where anyone who does not answer a certain patient's call within 5 minutes will face disciplinary action because the family complained that it takes too long to get "service". In the meantime, the staff is now afraid to go get something to eat or use the bathroom and other patients are neglected because of this one family - don't you dare take longer than that 5 minutes - they stay 24 hours a day and they actually time us. We also have a policy that states no visitors in a semi-private room after visiting hours end, but there is no consistent enforcement of this policy. My friends have been "turned in" and disciplined for both not allowing people to stay (which is the policy) and allowing people to stay (which is against policy). There are many, many more situations like this that occur daily as well. It's things like this that are pushing people away from careers in nursing - nurses shouldn't have to put up with crap like this.

 

[msdznyduck]

I agree completely........most of the 'public' have no idea what nurses and other health care professionals have to put up with. All they are concerned with is Dad or Mom getting the best 'service' possible.....the heck with all the other patients and forget about the staff using the bathroom, or heaven forbid, going to LUNCH.

 

[Cool-Beans]

I apologize in advance, this is going to be a long rant! I am a nurse and I was at work last night when my friend and co-worker had an unruly patient (I'm being kind). He is elderly and has severe dementia and is confused. He ripped out his IV and flung blood around the room, he hit and kicked, and he yelled out the most vulgar, sexual comments to all the nurses in the room (6 of us, all female). I however, was the lucky one who got to restart his IV and administer the meds to calm him down - here's my problem: while I was doing this, he was fondling my crotch! Of course, this behavior is totally unacceptable, but I can't retaliate like I would to any other man who would do this (like beat the snot out of him) because he's a patient in the hospital. Why is it acceptable for people like him to behave like this (I know he's confused, but he knew what he was doing because he made vulgar comments about it) and nothing gets done? If I had done something back to him, I could be sued for abuse but he can just fondle anyone he pleases and it's ok. Well, it's not OK and the public needs to realize what we go through as nurses. Patients and their families can physically and verbally abuse to their hearts content because nothing is ever done about it, and the nurses have to "take it". There is a situation right now on the same floor where anyone who does not answer a certain patient's call within 5 minutes will face disciplinary action because the family complained that it takes too long to get "service". In the meantime, the staff is now afraid to go get something to eat or use the bathroom and other patients are neglected because of this one family - don't you dare take longer than that 5 minutes - they stay 24 hours a day and they actually time us. We also have a policy that states no visitors in a semi-private room after visiting hours end, but there is no consistent enforcement of this policy. My friends have been "turned in" and disciplined for both not allowing people to stay (which is the policy) and allowing people to stay (which is against policy). There are many, many more situations like this that occur daily as well. It's things like this that are pushing people away from careers in nursing - nurses shouldn't have to put up with crap like this.

If you are a nurse, this cannot be the first time someone, especially someone with a form of dementia, has said and done inappropriate things.

And it can't be the first time someone has tried to touch a personal area, either.

If this particular patient was touching you the whole time you were starting the IV, it is your fault. You should have positioned yourself (or the bed!) differently or had someone assist you.

There are many jobs available to nurses. If you do not wish to deal with people who are not in their right minds, and therefore behave in erratic manners, you should switch to some other field.

I love it when family comes and wish there were no limits on how long they could stay. There are some who won't lift a finger, but most of them really want to help their loved one and assist me any way they can. Nobody has ever "timed" me. In fact, I tell them if I'm going to sit down for 5 minutes and ask them if there is anything they need first. I tell them to hit the button if anything comes up.

I almost never take a lunch (who has time?!), so can't comment on that.

 

[Mady/Sophiemom]

Oh please don't get me started, but here is my lastest story: (sorry so long)

Pt w/ severe alcohol dementia, much worse at night. Yells all night, wants 1:1 attention, and family refuses to hire a sitter. Dr. took all pain, and anxiety meds, because he gets too lethargic during the day.

Anyway- 2 weeks ago, light on 11 times by midnight. had tylenol, ice packs, repositioned several times. We sat him in a recliner chair so he could be out in the dayroom w/ more staff to attend to him. He did well, actually, slept about 4 1/2 hours. When going back to bed, he scratched himself on the arm of his chair. Literally a 3 inch scratch, that required no treatment. Next day, WIFE screaming abuse, and social worker says he't totally in his right mind, and helps the wife to blow things totally out of proportion. He says he was forced to stay up, no one would help him, threw him in the chair, causing the injury, etc....of course no one even pays attention to my charting, his cardex, showing that I gave him the tylenol, ice, etc. until I show them, when I'm called back into work at 1 in the afternoon (after working till 8 am)

Now the 2 aides taking care of him, were suspended for 3 days, got a huge write up and are at risk for being fired. Wife says she called state. Luckily, my actions have not been questioned.

Yet- and here is the really crazy part- She refuses to look for anywhere else for him, and states she wants him to stay at our facility. Thank goodness his stay is over next week.

I know that things have to be investigated, but come on, take a look at this history, labwork, charting for the last month. UGGGG


ANYWAY OP- I feel your pain. I think all nurses do

 

[Poohlovr]

Oh, I totally agree with every word you said.

We had a patient recently (not confused--a mid 30s male who was just angry because he wanted alcohol) who attacked one of our nurses (it just happened to be a male nurse, that night). Was anything done to the patient? Nope.

Then there are the families who expect us to wait on them--not just the patient. I am busy enough without having to answer a call light for them and bring them Cokes and Coffee and no, I don't have a newspaper for them to read.
Don't get me wrong--if their loved one is dying, I will do whatever I can for them to make them comfortable. I will get pots of coffee brought up from dietary. I will order trays of cookies and 6 pks of Coke for thier room. But, if they're there 'cause their husband is having tests-- I am not their handmaiden. Hubby is perfectly able to stay by himself for 2 minutes while they walk out to the nurses station and ask for a Coke there. And, no, we don't provide free guest trays any longer (we used to, but that was ruined by a family who ordered 17 of them for one meal!).

I try to treat each of my patients as if they are my only patient and try to give them as much time as possible. I let family members cry on my shoulder. I pass out hugs liberally, to all who need them (family and patients). But, I do wish they would realize that I have 4 or 5 other patients who have the same needs and let me give them the same care I am providing to their family and to their loved one.

 

[Blondy876]

God bless you. I know what it's like to work in an environment where you just have to take it. No one believes me when I tell them some of the things I have to deal with. I have been hurt so severely that I had a miscarriage, I have had blood, mucus, feces and spit thrown at me, along with chairs and other nearby items, I am kicked, hit, punched and cursed at all on a daily basis. I have even occassioanly been sexually harressed. Yet, I have no recourse.

Oh, and I teach preschool.

 

[SwedishMeatball]

I'm sure that was not a pleasant experience, but if he is an elderly man suffering from dementia then that is really sad that he has lost his senses and can't control himself. I really admire nurses and staff that help care for our elderly. It is just so incredibly sad to watch people that we love deteriorate into people that we hardly recognize. It can be really frustrating and scary, so I'm guessing that some people are really sensitive about how their loved ones are taken care of. You do hear about some horror stories of neglect or abuse, so I'm sure that is why many are so quick to make assumptions. It's not fair if you are a consceintious nurse trying your best, but it seems it would just be something that goes along with choosing that career. I hope you get lots of families that are able to express their gratitude.

 

[Saffron]

Nursing is not for the faint of heart, that's for sure. My heart and thanks go out to all of you who love your jobs, no matter how frustrating and maddening it must be sometimes. Thanks for all your hard work. Nurses do it with heart.

 

[SuperSteelerFan]

If you are a nurse, this cannot be the first time someone, especially someone with a form of dementia, has said and done inappropriate things.

And it can't be the first time someone has tried to touch a personal area, either.

If this particular patient was touching you the whole time you were starting the IV, it is your fault. You should have positioned yourself (or the bed!) differently or had someone assist you.

There are many jobs available to nurses. If you do not wish to deal with people who are not in their right minds, and therefore behave in erratic manners, you should switch to some other field.

I love it when family comes and wish there were no limits on how long they could stay. There are some who won't lift a finger, but most of them really want to help their loved one and assist me any way they can. Nobody has ever "timed" me. In fact, I tell them if I'm going to sit down for 5 minutes and ask them if there is anything they need first. I tell them to hit the button if anything comes up.

I almost never take a lunch (who has time?!), so can't comment on that.

Wow, for someone who doesn't know me, you've made a lot of assumptions - and a number of them are incorrect!

I'm glad you really like your job - I can't say I love it, but much of the time I don't dislike mine either. As far as many jobs available to nurses, there really aren't in my area - there is a limited number of nursing jobs that would not involve confused patients and those are impossible to come by. I live in a rural area about 1 hour from Pittsburgh. It's either my local hospital or nursing homes unless I want to travel 45 min plus each way.

I'm also glad that your patients and families are so accomodating to your needs as their nurse. I would like to ask what type of floor you work on and what type of patients you care for. Perhaps the type of patients that you are caring for versus what I care for is what makes the difference in our experiences.

As far as positioning myself out of reach, there's only so far my body bends and can move out of the way when I've got a needle in someone's arm - and I really don't appreciate your assumption that it's my fault and that I allowed him to do it! We had 5 people holding him down at that point just to get the IV in and the meds given. This story was not meant to question my moral values but to point out some of the hazards of the job that we have to put up with. There are many times when the job is rewarding, but also many times when it is not. I do try my best to be sure that my patients (and their families) are well-cared-for and happy, but sometimes it's just not good enough for some.

 

[DisneyBlonde]

This is why I cannot be a nurse. Dimentia or not...I would have broken his hand.

Thank you for the work you do, and don't let the pot-stirrers get to you.

 

[SwedishMeatball]

In all fairness though, if and when the time comes that I have to place a loved one in a nursing home facility, then they will be my only concern. I know that is selfish, but I'm just being honest. I would try to be reasonable, but I would also be vigilant in making sure that my loved one was being properly cared for. I would hope that I was respectful, but I wouldn't hesitate in expressing my concerns. I sure would not be comfortable leaving my Mom with someone who I knew didn't love their job. I realize there are challenges, but if the rewards aren't enough to make it worth enduring the rough parts, then I would think that a career change is in order. I understand that this is a venting thread, but I'm just expressing my opinions as an outsider and how I would feel placing my loved one in the care of anyone who had bitterness or resentment towards their job.

 

[tiggersmom2]

I have a BSN in nursing. I......HATE......NURSING. That is why I immediately sought another field when I figured out it was not for me. I am now a RDH with absolutely NO work-related stress!

God Bless all the nurses - it definitely takes a special person.

 

[Cool-Beans]

Wow, for someone who doesn't know me, you've made a lot of assumptions - and a number of them are incorrect!

I'm glad you really like your job - I can't say I love it, but much of the time I don't dislike mine either. As far as many jobs available to nurses, there really aren't in my area - there is a limited number of nursing jobs that would not involve confused patients and those are impossible to come by. I live in a rural area about 1 hour from Pittsburgh. It's either my local hospital or nursing homes unless I want to travel 45 min plus each way.

I'm also glad that your patients and families are so accomodating to your needs as their nurse. I would like to ask what type of floor you work on and what type of patients you care for. Perhaps the type of patients that you are caring for versus what I care for is what makes the difference in our experiences.

As far as positioning myself out of reach, there's only so far my body bends and can move out of the way when I've got a needle in someone's arm - and I really don't appreciate your assumption that it's my fault and that I allowed him to do it! We had 5 people holding him down at that point just to get the IV in and the meds given. This story was not meant to question my moral values but to point out some of the hazards of the job that we have to put up with.

I did med-surg, hospice, med-surg again, and now work cardiac care. I'm currently brusing up my peds skills to do pediatric hospice.

I've worked with all kinds of patients.

I don't see how 5 people would not be able to stop one man from continually fondling you. It kind of creeps me out to think of 5 nurses in a room not stopping that from happening. I mean, I've had people go for it, more than a few times, but it doesn't go on for minutes! Especially with a group of people helping!

Obviously, if he was fondling you all that time and talking about what he was doing, he wasn't flailing about wildly. What was everyone doing that he was able to keep that up? Wait, I don't want to know.

I get so tired of hearing people complain about patients at work. I don't say anything there and this is my outlet, as it is yours.

I really think that nurses who can't deal with people who do inappropriate things should just find another job. The dementia patients, drug addicts, etc. aren't going anywhere. So, either love them or leave them.

 

[Mady/Sophiemom]

If you are a nurse, this cannot be the first time someone, especially someone with a form of dementia, has said and done inappropriate things.

And it can't be the first time someone has tried to touch a personal area, either.

If this particular patient was touching you the whole time you were starting the IV, it is your fault. You should have positioned yourself (or the bed!) differently or had someone assist you.

There are many jobs available to nurses. If you do not wish to deal with people who are not in their right minds, and therefore behave in erratic manners, you should switch to some other field.

I love it when family comes and wish there were no limits on how long they could stay. There are some who won't lift a finger, but most of them really want to help their loved one and assist me any way they can. Nobody has ever "timed" me. In fact, I tell them if I'm going to sit down for 5 minutes and ask them if there is anything they need first. I tell them to hit the button if anything comes up.

I almost never take a lunch (who has time?!), so can't comment on that.

 

[joshsmom]

I'm on the other side of this--my son has spent a whole bunch of time in the hospital since birth. His hospital is a children's hospital, so the nurses don't have to deal with adults, right? WRONG!!! I have seen the most horrible things done to nurses who are just there trying to provide the best care they can. When Josh was about 4, he was in the hospital for an extended period of time due to a bad infection. This was at a time when we still had to share rooms. Due to the very high census at the hospital, we were in the room with a 16 year old gunshot patient. The patient was literally out of it the entire time we were there--but his entire family was NOT out of it--they were VERY much there, all the time, day and night. Every patient has the right to have one adult spend the night at their bedside--this family had at least 4 adults and numerous children staying there all the time. They monopolized the phone, they monopolized the TV, they messed up the bathroom (even though family members were not allowed to use the patient bathroom--there was a separate one for family members), they stayed in the room all night calling people, having pizza delivered, and having a party while the patient was mostly medicated to the point of being asleep. After 2 days of this, I was exhausted and asked for another room--none to be had. The poor nurses were at their wits end with these people. On the second day, the trays came and the vultures desended upon the tray as if they hadn't eaten for a week. They were angry that there was no ketchup included and that the fries were cold. These people had the NERVE to ring the buzzer and TELL the nurse that she better get to the room with some ketchup and hot fries, or they were going to report her!!! I felt SO BAD for her. They ordered people around like they were royalty, they screamed at nurses for the littlest thing, and they generally made our stay miserable--along with anyone else who came in contact with them.

I do NOT envy nurses their job. They work hard, long hours and are expected to be nurses, waitressess, maids, and a million other things. I know that it is their chosen profession, but they should be treated with the respect they deserve.

 

[Disney Doll]

I have a BSN in nursing. I......HATE......NURSING. That is why I immediately sought another field when I figured out it was not for me. I am now a RDH with absolutely NO work-related stress!

God Bless all the nurses - it definitely takes a special person.

What is an RDH????

SSF, sometimes our job is hard, isn't it? I have worked on a med/surg floor in an urban hospital for 23 years now, and I can tell you stories that would curl your hair.

And, yes, some patients and their families are just terrible to deal with. And it is easy to say that if a person is demented that they cannot help themselves, but it does get a bit old after they have been wailing on you for an 8 or 12 hour shift...yep, I know they don't know what they are doing, but it's my arm they've been grabbing and digging their nails into for the last 8 hours, and quite frnakly, it gets tiresome. And I know that you, as a visitor are concerned that your loved one gets the best care possible and I will try y best to give it, but remember that there are also 4, 5 or maybe 6 other patients that I am caring for whose families expect the same things.

Unfortunately, I think some of the issues are based on a hospital's fear of getting sued. In my hospital, most of the time the administration will kowtow to an unhapy family member, whether or not they have a good reason to, because they don't want the family calling the State or sueing...that really does create some monstrous situations when the folks who are supposed to support you, their employee, do not. Holding disciplinary action over someone's head if they don't perform like a circus monkey doesn't get the patient better care...if anything, they get less care because staff wants to get in and out of a nasty patient's room ASAP. So yeah, I'll answer your call light within 5 minutes, but I'll spend 30 seconds in your room instead of 5 or 10 minutes, because you are so freakin' miserable.

Here's what I do...I try to find the reason every day that I was meant to be there. Sometimes that reason is very hard to find, and I have to look very hard, but I always manage to find it. I usually start to look for it in a nice patient's room. If I can't find it there, then I turn to my co-workers and see what I may have done for them that could have been my reason for going into work. Maybe I told someone a joke that made them smile and lightened their mood. Maybe I was able to do something for someone so they could get to a quick coffee break, or a quick bathroom break. Whatever...there is usually something.

As far as the nasty people...I force myself to feel sorry for them. I mean, think about it...can you imagine being that miserable and nasty all the time? Always being cranky, always having to "force" people to interact with you? They clearly have a sad existence. Once I can feel sorry for someone, think of them as pathetic and so forth, I can't really get aggravated at them any more.

Good nurses are hard to find, so stay with it. You do have patients who appreciate you, whether you think you do or not.

 

[tiggersmom2]

What is an RDH????

Registered Dental Hygienist. So stress free - 4 day work weeks, no patient abuse, no coding.....my dream job.

ETA: AND I get to sit down most of the day and DIS between patients....that is so important....

 

[Cool-Beans]

Registered Dental Hygienist. So stress free - 4 day work weeks, no patient abuse, no coding.....my dream job.

Oh, my gosh. I hope you knocked on wood when you posted that. Otherwise, your next person will code.

 

[tiggersmom2]

Oh, my gosh. I hope you knocked on wood when you posted that. Otherwise, your next person will code.

knocking on wood NOW!!!!!!

 

[UrsulasMyHero]

I did med-surg, hospice, med-surg again, and now work cardiac care. I'm currently brusing up my peds skills to do pediatric hospice.

I've worked with all kinds of patients.

I don't see how 5 people would not be able to stop one man from continually fondling you. It kind of creeps me out to think of 5 nurses in a room not stopping that from happening. I mean, I've had people go for it, more than a few times, but it doesn't go on for minutes! Especially with a group of people helping!

Obviously, if he was fondling you all that time and talking about what he was doing, he wasn't flailing about wildly. What was everyone doing that he was able to keep that up? Wait, I don't want to know.

I get so tired of hearing people complain about patients at work. I don't say anything there and this is my outlet, as it is yours.

I really think that nurses who can't deal with people who do inappropriate things should just find another job. The dementia patients, drug addicts, etc. aren't going anywhere. So, either love them or leave them.

WOW! I thought your FIRST post was antagonistic, but this one is just as bad. Aapparently you're just a 'er. Well if it makes you happy to come down hard on people who are having a bad day and venting, See you Next Tuesday, Honey.

As for the OP... Pay no attention to the Holier than thou Florence Nightengales. Her world is made of sugarpuffs and NOTHING ever goes wrong because she is Nurse of the Year. *sarcasm* I'm sorry, that attitude just puts me right off. I'm sorry that you had to endure what you did. Please make sure the incident was doccumented and perhaps you can get him removed from your facility.