What is the thought process here?

[luvsJack]

Have I fallen in some sort of alternative universe-full of t-shirts,jean and boot wearing hobos who dont own any "good clothes " and all the weddings are "ho-downs"??????

Where the heck do all you folks live?? Appalachia???

Snobby much?

 

[wdwfan16]

I have quite a few relatives that I am very close to and when it comes to something in my life, like a wedding, I would only want the person there for me--regardless of what she or he wore.

What makes you think that you and you niece are the only ones who do this?

You are just as bad at putting others down as the person that you called a snob.

 

[luvsJack]

What makes you think that you and you niece are the only ones who do this?

You are just as bad at putting others down as the person that you called a snob.

Where exactly did I say that we are the only ones?

I was simply saying that everyone in my family asks around before getting rid of old appliances or furniture. Just as I am sure other families, or neighbors or friends do. And several people on this thread stated that they wouldn't care if a loved one showed up in jeans, so its pretty evident that my niece and I are not the only ones that feel that way. I used my niece as an example because her wedding was such a formal affair, where mine was not.

Do you think that you are the only one that can give something to a relative without insulting them, the only one that has a good relationship with their uncle? I certainly hope not and I didn't accuse you of such a thing either.

I wasn't aware that using a real life example of something meant that you thought you were the only one that did that or thought that. I referred to my niece and her wedding in my first post on this thread and told how she insisted a family member come to her wedding; which is why I referred to it again in that later post. It has nothing to do with thinking we are the only ones that do anything.

How on earth do you get me saying "I have quite a few relatives that I am very close to. . ." as putting someone down? I certainly never insinuated I am better than someone else because I don't wear jeans and boots or am not from a certain area of the country--which is exactly what the other poster did.

 

[doxdogy]

Nope I don't live in an alternate universe or Appalachia. I just don't find it necessary to belittle others like you seem to enjoy. One of the best weddings I attended was in a VFW hall. We had us a good old hootenanny.

Oh and since you quoted Miss Manners early, I am sure she would have a thing or two to say about your manners missy.

Have I fallen in some sort of alternative universe-full of t-shirts,jean and boot wearing hobos who dont own any "good clothes " and all the weddings are "ho-downs"??????

Where the heck do all you folks live?? Appalachia???

 

[luvsJack]

Nope I don't live in an alternate universe or Appalachia. I just don't find it necessary to belittle others like you seem to enjoy. One of the best weddings I attended was in a VFW hall. We had us a good old hootenanny.

Oh and since you quoted Miss Manners early, I am sure she would have a thing or two to say about your manners missy.

Those good old hootenanny are the weddings that make the best memories! Such good ol' fun!

 

[onelilspark]

A little bit back on track...people who show up in jeans to weddings aren't only people who can't afford nicer clothes. My Dad's side of the family is kind of notrious for this. They do have the means (not "rich" or "well off" by any means, but they're not living below the poverty line or on welfare) and have nicer clothes, but in general, they wear jeans. At my cousin's wedding for example, my Aunt & Uncle wore something nice (well, suitable anyway) to the ceremony in the Church, but the moment they reached the reception site...which was banquet hall, not a country club or fire hall...they changed into their Harley shirts & jeans...but they were black jeans, does that count for anything?

It's kind of become the family joke. And I'm very much a stickler for customs, traditions, dress codes, etc. There's a certain way you're supposed to dress for weddings. That being said, I will invite them all to my wedding. I fully anticipate those family members to show up in denim. Will it ruin my day? Certainly not. Will I roll my eyes and make a comment that I wish for once they'd wear something appropriate? Absolutely. But I'll drop it there. To be quite honest, I'll be thrilled if they actually show up.

 

[Pumbaa_]

We had a guest come to our August wedding in a Flannel shirt and cords. It was the best outfit he owned.

He did the best he could and we appreciated that fact

 

[FireDancer]

I don't care what another person wears to a restaurant, church, or a country club. I don't care if you hang your clothes on a line in your back yard, keep a car in your driveway, put your garbage out a day early, have a pool, or a shed. I don't feel it necessary to nanny others into doing what I think they should do or dress like. I am only in charge of me and if I am standing in an Armani suit and someone in a t-shirt, shorts, and flip-flops comes up to me I will not turn up my nose and walk away. It has no bearing over my day. If I am sitting in a restaurant in my collared shirt and someone else come in wearing a flannel shirt it will not make my food taste any different or my day any less fulfilling

Caring about what someone else is wearing is so superficial and, ultimately, unproductive. It is funny when there is a discussion about health or weight everyone is so quick to say people are so superficial but a discussion about the right material of pants is not. I guess some people are just so bored or unfulfilled in life that they have to try and control the lives of others instead of just worrying about themselves.

 

[clovergirl5]

I don't care what another person wears to a restaurant, church, or a country club. I don't care if you hang your clothes on a line in your back yard, keep a car in your driveway, put your garbage out a day early, have a pool, or a shed. I don't feel it necessary to nanny others into doing what I think they should do or dress like. I am only in charge of me and if I am standing in an Armani suit and someone in a t-shirt, shorts, and flip-flops comes up to me I will not turn up my nose and walk away. It has no bearing over my day. If I am sitting in a restaurant in my collared shirt and someone else come in wearing a flannel shirt it will not make my food taste any different or my day any less fulfilling

Caring about what someone else is wearing is so superficial and, ultimately, unproductive. It is funny when there is a discussion about health or weight everyone is so quick to say people are so superficial but a discussion about the right material of pants is not. I guess some people are just so bored or unfulfilled in life that they have to try and control the lives of others instead of just worrying about themselves.

Nice!

 

[Carly_Roach]

I guess some people are just so bored or unfulfilled in life that they have to try and control the lives of others instead of just worrying about themselves.

Agreed.

Actually I think that the "worst case" conversations came from some people saying that "no one" should "EVER" show up to a wedding in jeans. Having had someone in jeans at my wedding (and no one offended by the fact), I offered another opinion. At that point, I believe that my family was called low-class. I responded that I thought that was a rather snobbish view of life....and the Dis goes on.

Yes. When people started on the back-fence, hen-party gossiping about how low-class others could be because they couldn't afford the "right" clothes, that's when I stood up and said, "Hey now, hold on a second there".

The worst case scenario rarely exists. If invited to a country club wedding, if you can' t be bothered to put on the decent clothes that you probably happen to actually own or could get, then you should stay home. Showing up in jeans and untucked shirt and sneakers shows disdain and disrespect on the occasion and the couple. If you are destitute and have a valid excuse, then fine.

So now it's up to you to decide who's "fine" and who's not? I'm sorry, but who died and made you king or queen of the rest of us?

You don't know this person, or the bride and groom any more than any of us do. Your alleged scenerio is no different than any other. For all we know this person was destiutute, or lazy, or he spoke to the bride and groom and asked if it was okay, maybe his luggage was stolen out of his hotel room while he was in the shower, maybe he was a wedding crasher, maybe his dog ate his tux. I could go on and on but I have no idea what the situation was, and neither do you

I'm glad luvmy3 brought this up. For all we know, this could have been a guest who had flown all day, been through the ringer at the airport and, on top of it all, lost his luggage. We have no idea what really happened which is precisely why people who were born and raised with some modicum of class will cut others some slack instead of pointing them out as trash and snickering about them. That kind of behavior says way, way, WAY more about the person with their nose in the air doing the "Miss Manners"-ing than it says about the person wearing the questionable attire.

Truthfully, I'd rather have an honest person in my life who might dress inappropriately every once in awhile than have someone who brags about her designer this and her designer that but talks bad about me behind my back whenever I'm not in earshot.

 

[Bluestars]

I have a few relatives who have worn jeans to weddings. It's not something I would do, but I am not them.

Now the short shorts, flip flops, and other things mentioned on this thread are a little much...or, shall I say...not enough. That is disrespectful.

 

[okeydokey]

You don't know this person, or the bride and groom any more than any of us do. Your alleged scenerio is no different than any other. For all we know this person was destiutute, or lazy, or he spoke to the bride and groom and asked if it was okay, maybe his luggage was stolen out of his hotel room while he was in the shower, maybe he was a wedding crasher, maybe his dog ate his tux. I could go on and on but I have no idea what the situation was, and neither do you

And these things prevented him from at least tucking in his shirt? Oh wait, maybe he lost his arms in a farming accident. You never know, right?

 

[BelleWDW]

Truthfully, I'd rather have an honest person in my life who might dress inappropriately every once in awhile than have someone who brags about her designer this and her designer that but talks bad about me behind my back whenever I'm not in earshot.

 

[BelleWDW]

You receive an invitation to a wedding being held at a country club. Your choice of attire is faded blue jeans, and untucked shirt, and tennis shoes. Is this considered appropriate for this occasion?

Just a reminder of the original post

 

[pls5286]

Not proper attire at all. I used to work EMS and when my uncle got married, I went to the rehersal supper while on duty. I naturally was in uniform. Several family pics were taken that night, and I hated being in uniform, and not dressed properly. I made them put me in the back of the pics so I was shielded as much as possible.

PS...I was in the middle of a 48 hr shift and was not able to get coverage for both nights. Did dress properly for the wedding in dress pants and a dress sweater and returned to my uniform when I went back on duty.

 

[luvmy3]

And these things prevented him from at least tucking in his shirt? Oh wait, maybe he lost his arms in a farming accident. You never know, right?

Well duh, some shirts just don't look right tucked into jeans

 

[DizBelle]

Hmmmm......my unemployed uncle who lived in the projects at the time and was expecting his third child the week after my wedding should, instead of feeding his family, go and buy clothing just to please me....I don't think so. We would have bought his family clothes (and I did, in fact, buy his daughters dresses to be my "helpers" in the wedding) but it would have insulted his pride to offer it to him. Even people going through tough times have a right to pride.

I could care less if he wore jeans. I was glad he came.

Way OT (but I started this thread so I guess I can go on a tangent), but what the heck is your uncle doing having a third child when they live in the projects and have the potential of not being able to feed their family???

 

[DizBelle]

And these things prevented him from at least tucking in his shirt? Oh wait, maybe he lost his arms in a farming accident. You never know, right?

He had arms - two of them.

 

[Sanchez]

So now it's up to you to decide who's "fine" and who's not? I'm sorry, but who died and made you king or queen of the rest of us?

Darn right! That's your job!

I cannot believe that with all the dire scenarios presented (extreme poverty, lost luggage) no one has mentioned the old DIS standby: hidden disability. I'll go with that.

By the way, I think that lost luggage scenario is a poor excuse. In "My Cousin Vinny" Vincent Gambino's suit fell in the mud. Even Vinny, stuck in podunk Alabama, was able to find a Colonel Sanders suit in a second hand store to wear to court. If Vinny could do it, the jeans clad wedding guest sure could.

 

[DizBelle]

He had arms - two of them.

To those of you that say it doesn't matter what you wear but only that you are there, I challenge you to show up at the next wedding or party you are invited to in your swimsuit and flipflops. Even better, show up in a thong and pasties (sans pasties if you are male). After all, if it doesn't matter then it doesn't matter if it is a thong and pasties.