What is the ideal age between siblings

[daughtersrus]

My two older girls are 3 years apart. They were never "close" but that's more because of different personalities, likes and dislikes. Now that they're older, it's better.

The best part is that both of them are in college at the same time so it helps with financial aid since FAFSA is based on the total family expense.

Every little bit helps!

 

[tink20]

One sister is 4years older and one is 4 years younger, I love them both and talk to them both, but I think I am closer to the younger sister, (one reason we are more alike, second reason older sister lives out of town) Our brother is the oldest, 6years older than me. (we love each other, and get along, but he really isn't close to any of the girls, guess we don't have alot in common.

My kids are 8 years apart (not by choice, they have two different dads) I would have liked them to be closer, but that wasn't in the cards. They are not close, DS is typical little brother and aggrivates DD, but they love each other, and the protective mommy comes out in her when someone messes with him. Same with him, if I am getting on to DD, DS will come to her defense. The only positive, is for me I am getting sad that my little girl, isn't so little anymore, so it is nice to still have a little one in the house, plus I don't think I could handle two teenagers at once. LOL!

 

[clutter]

I realize there is no ideal age, but I do appreciate hearing others' perspectives on what works for them. I have a feeling that the financial aspect is going to win out over any other consideration right now.

2 1/2 years is not necessarily the perfect age. I'm the youngest of 3 girls, one 2 1/2 years older, the other 4 1/2 years older.

For us, it was simply a personality/family custom thing. My oldest sister would tell you we're close, but I talk to her maybe 4 times a year, and see her an equal number of times. She lives 4 hours away, but her son and his family are 20 minutes from us. (They don't communicate much either.) My middle sister and I talk a bit more frequently, but that's because she's physically closest to my dad, so we chat about how he's doing.

Now that mom is gone, we're in touch less. Once Dad is gone, I don't know if we'll ever see them again.

 

[mickeyboat]

My DDs are less than a year apart, and ended up in the same grade in school because of where the cut off falls. It was incredibly difficult when they were little - I am not sure how we made it through.

It is nice in many ways now, but not so nice in others. They are lucky to always have each other and participate in all the same activities, so that's easier for us. But they compete for out attention and against one another terribly, and sometimes it hurts for me to see it. DD9 scored a goal in soccer last night, and it was hard for DD10 to be happy for her. I hate that!

All in all I think that someday they will be grateful for one another. I hope that they are close.

My brother and I are also less than a year apart. He teased me mercilessly while growing up, and although we were thankful to have one another, we are not close now.

There is no magic age difference. Good luck to you.

 

[justjulie]

My boys are five years apart (not by choice). If I could do it all over again (and had control over the situation) I would have liked it so my youngest would have been in his first year of high school when my oldest was in his last - so I guess that would make them three years apart.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

didn't read through all responses...

my SIL had hers 2 yrs apart hoping that would ensure closeness...others are correct, there is no magic age for that.(then again she was trying to expain away an "oopsie" after she and her DH had publicly stated, not one month before, that they had mutually agreed to wait at least ayear for financial reasons)

when DD was little, I had the book "The Portable Pediatrician" . SHe had her theory that 3 yrs was better than two because the first would be at a stage of language development where they would need quality and quantity one on one time from the parents. Time they more than likely would lack if the parents were bsy with a new born. Sounds like a plausible and common sense reason to wait that year.

As for each individual family, it totally depepnds on what is best for you and the first child! I wouldn't worry about being out of practice!