What is one comment that you can't forget.

[Chocolate Cake]

At one of my bridal showers many years ago there was a tradition to tie the ribbons from the packages in the bride’s hair. When the shower was almost over someone quietly told me I looked ridiculous.

We do that too! All of the ribbons on a paper plate and make a fun hat. I love old shower traditions!

 

[PollyannaMom]

I actually have a good one to share. It started out like some of the others - somebody had been mean to me somehow (late junior high or early high school)...but that's not the part I remember. What I remember was my dad's reply:

"Be patient with them. They'll grow up eventually."

He went on to explain that they were most likely acting out of immaturity, not malice; that I was just past that phase and they hadn't caught up yet. - Who knows, maybe he was just trying to make me feel all mature and special...but it turned out he was right. My class did eventually grew out of "cliquiness" and gel really well, and when that happened, I was glad I hadn't held onto any resentment. I would have missed a lot of fun my senior year if I had!

I've extrapolated that answer to a lot of situations in my life, and more often than not, it keeps me from interpreting bad behavior as personal. It doesn't mean I tolerate being treated badly, or won't remove myself from an unhealthy situation - but it does go a long way toward not having it eat away at me. It's very freeing to assume people are works in progress, and leave it to them to figure out their stuff rather than me to react to it.

 

[sparkley]

My MIL, while criticizing an overweight family member: "You used to be fat, but at least you finally did something about it."

 

[Owlpost23]

A high school boyfriend broke up with me but we stayed friends and I was still hoping we would get back together but he wasn't interested in me like that anymore. Fast forward a couple of weeks and he is at a dance dancing with my best friend- they kiss. Of course I am heartbroken and he said to me, "Wow, I never thought a girl as pretty as her would be interested in me." I was never the pretty girl.

He's wrong.

 

[TheGoofster]

When my wife was pregnant with our second child, my son who was about 2 at the time, looked at her and asked about her big stomach. My wife explained to him that she had a baby inside of her. My son than looked at me, and said "Daddy has a baby inside of him too?". Yup, back to the diet after that.

 

[goofyernmost]

Please don’t mansplain to a 9 month pregnant woman how she should or should not feel about her weight and shape...just don’t.

Well. you can fat shame a pregnant woman who is not fat, just pregnant, if you want I do not and I do not want that pregnant woman to feel ashamed about her body when she is creating a miracle because someone, apparently like you, think it is OK for her to feel that way. Sorry, that is not at all my telling her how she should feel that is telling her why she shouldn't feel that way. If that is bad, then I intend to stay bad.

 

[Princessclab]

I actually have a good one to share. It started out like some of the others - somebody had been mean to me somehow (late junior high or early high school)...but that's not the part I remember. What I remember was my dad's reply:

"Be patient with them. They'll grow up eventually."

He went on to explain that they were most likely acting out of immaturity, not malice; that I was just past that phase and they hadn't caught up yet. - Who knows, maybe he was just trying to make me feel all mature and special...but it turned out he was right. My class did eventually grew out of "cliquiness" and gel really well, and when that happened, I was glad I hadn't held onto any resentment. I would have missed a lot of fun my senior year if I had!

I've extrapolated that answer to a lot of situations in my life, and more often than not, it keeps me from interpreting bad behavior as personal. It doesn't mean I tolerate being treated badly, or won't remove myself from an unhealthy situation - but it does go a long way toward not having it eat away at me. It's very freeing to assume people are works in progress, and leave it to them to figure out their stuff rather than me to react to it.

Really great advice when you are growing up but when the rude comments come from adults who should know better, well, .........
Those people never grew-up; we all know those kinds of people. Sad.

 

[neverlandsky]

Too many bad ones to list and I’ve moved on from that. So I’m going with something positive.

You’re Beautiful - from DH almost daily

 

[Lilacs4Me]

My 6th grade basketball coach said as the whole team was lined up and she was picking the starters at the last practice before our very first game:

"Sally...Jenny....Amanda....Jessica....and with a resigned sigh she said my name and then added "I really didn't think I would have you start, but I really don't have a better option"

I remember being really, really proud that I was picked to be a starter, which luckily superseded everything else. I also remember feeling kind of bad that she seemed really upset that I did better than she thought I would, and I also took it as a challenge, or more of a "BET!" and worked my rear off the rest of the season to show her that she was wrong about me. I went on to start every game of basketball I ever played from that first game to the last, so I guess her comment was more motivation than anything.

As an adult, thinking about her comment, I would love to find her today and slap her for trying to make a little 12 year old girl feel bad about herself. But it's one of those comments that I always remembered and it made me a better person - I will never forget how she tried to make me feel, and as a current coach of a youth sport, I have always stayed positive with my girls and made sure that every girl on my team feels valued and good about their skills - not everyone can be the best, but that doesn't mean they aren't valued as a teammate.

 

[Tattylou]

A couple of years ago, someone in Starbucks told me I look like Scarlett Johansson. I don't see it, but I definitely will take that compliment and probably never forget it bc it made my day

I have bad one comments from junior high too of course, but I prefer to forget those.

 

[christineann]

I was divorced with two kids, and I started dating a widower with a child. He told me that since I had two kids, I was very lucky that he would go out with someone like me (just one of many belittling comments). When I ended the relationship, he continued to call me for two years asking me to reconsider, and I would not take his calls. He said in his last message that he was going to find someone else younger than I am and would get married (as if that were any concern to me). He is 6 years older than I am, so I don't know why he had a problem with MY age. Anyway, he married a woman older than I am, and it didn't last five years. I really dodged that bullet (apparently she didn't).

I take care of my 90 year old mom and my 15 year old dog, and one cold, rainy Sunday morning, I was running late for church, and Mom left the back door open twice after I asked her not to, and I had to quickly go out without an umbrella and get the dog both times. I was frustrated and was short with both of them, and by the time I got to church i was wet and late and feeling like a horrible person. I felt a tap on my arm, and a little boy who was sitting with his parents across the aisle brought me a Paw Patrol sticker, which I put on my sweater. I still carry that sticker in my wallet as a reminder that a seemingly simple gesture or some kind words can mean so much....a valuable lesson from a four year old.

 

[low-key]

one comment that hurt me so bad, more then other, but I cant say cause I forgot it