I'm a city dweller, though not in the dense part of the urban core; I live in an 1100 sq. ft. single-family home with a front and back yard, with a separate 2-car garage on the alley. In my world, anything over 2000 sq. feet is big. Anything over 3500 may as well be a hotel, unless you have a really large family.
Same here - our urban/suburban neighborhood about 15-20 miles from one of the biggest cities in the US boasts mid-century homes with an original footprint of between the 1000-1500 sq foot range. Ours is about 1350-1400, including a very small addition of a 2nd floor bathroom. I'd say that at least 60% of the homes in my neighborhood have had some sort of addition added over the past 70 years, so we now have a wide range of styles from the original 1000 sq feet houses to sprawling 3,000-4,000 3/4 of a million dollar jobs.
For the 5 of us, our 4 bedroom, 2 bath with a semi-finished basement would be perfect if not for the horrible layout. I would actually prefer to have lost a bedroom to gain more living space on the main floor. The kitchen is smaller than most walk in closets, and there is no dedicated dining area anywhere so our dining table that seats 6 is pushed into the corner of our 16x16 living room. I had visions when we bought the house for making one of the two downstairs bedrooms the dining room (It's not far from the kitchen), but DH vetoed that idea and opted instead to finish the basement off. ( so now one side is a large finished family room with carpeting, the other is about 1/2 done with a cement floor covered by area rugs and white paint on the walls but very clean-looking, at least for a basement). I love the family room, but it is so awkward with guests - "come down a flight of stairs and through the non-finished part of the basement so we can entertain you in our awesome family room!"
There is really nowhere upstairs to entertain unless people crowd around the dining table, and forget about having more than one person in the kitchen at once. That is becoming a HUGE problem now that my kids are older - I want to teach them how to cook, but there is no room! It didn't matter when they were little and I didn't WANT them in the kitchen, but now I would enjoy their company!
Anyway, I think that anything between 1300-2000 is average, anything over 2000 is on the larger side. I also agree with whomever said it is all perception. Case in point -
My sister's family moved from a 1500 sq foot 3 bed, 1 1/2 bath, upper floor laundry, big eat in kitchen, family room and and full basement because they were having a 2nd baby and wanted more space. My sister has fairly unique and rare health problems and will not be having more than 2 kids (even 2 was slightly frowned upon by her Neurologist). They moved about a mile away into a sprawling 3800 sq foot house where you guessed it....their walk in closet is about 2 times bigger than my kitchen LOL
So, they have a living room, dining room, huge kitchen with island and a seperate eating area that holds a 6 person table, a gigantic family room, a powder room, laundry room, and an office on the main floor. The 2nd story has 4 bedrooms, a loft, a full bathroom for the kids, and a master suite that has a double door entry into a master that is bigger than my whole main floor!
Although admitting that they only use about 1/3 of the house as it is, they want to turn their main floor office into another TV room so the kids can go in there to watch TV when the parents are watching movies in the family room.
They couldn't host Christmas this year because their basement wasn't finished yet. Instead, everyone (30 people) came out to my house 5 hours away and we all crowded into my 1400 sq foot house and had a blast being close and cozy
