What is an "average" inheritance?

[cookingqueen]

When my grandparents passed their 4 children where each left 6 figures and the grandchildren (myself included) received low 5 figures. It was a very unexpected surprise for me and such a game changer! I was able to purchase my first home with a great down payment- I had already graduated from college at the time of their passing.
I have just finished going through the process of setting up an irrevocable trust with my parents and a life estate with them. There is a 5 year look back regarding nursing homes, so we are hoping to protect their home- this is very important to them, they feel like this is a big part of their inheritance to their kids and want it protected. We worked out all their wishes - medical, burial etc- not easy, but very necessary!

 

[CyndiLooWho]

I think normal would be well under 100K unless there is a paid-off home involved. With the cost of health coverage and late-in-life care, most folks are going to be leaving very little unless they were well off indeed during their lifetimes.

My own grandparents were born, mostly lived, and died in the same town. On my dad's side, there was a house and the furnishings left. Mom's folks left enough money for all the grandkids to inherit more than double my dh's annual salary, with Mom and Aunt receiving enough to live on for the rest of their lives. Just differences in their money outlook and life choices during their lifetime.

Unless poor health necessitates my ILs spending all their assets on health care / care homes, they will leave a comfortable 5-6 figures to their two sons. No will, though, so probate will probably kill it. That makes me mad, b/c while dh and I don't care and don't need it, BIL needs every penny and more b/c his life's passion fulfills but does not support him. He will be in a world of hurt when it comes time to settle the ILs estate. I wish we could make FIL see it.

My mom swears she and Dad will spend all theirs, but that's highly unlikely. They will not leave nearly as much as her parents left, but I expect there will be very nice assets left to split between the 4 kids. As long as they get the chance to do all the travel and leisure activities they want, I don't really care if they spend it all. It's theirs, not mine.

Dh and I expect to live very comfortably all our lives and are planning for that. We are not currently planning to leave much behind, unless we find that our mildly special needs son is unable to support himself as an adult. That, of course, will change our plans.

 

[csharpwv]

CookingQueen - I totally understand what you mean.

My Mom passed away two years ago May1, and we had to make the decision to discontinue care (vent, meds, etc etc) and while there wasn't anything in writing, we knew Mom's wishes, and what the result would have been had we not made the decision we did - and it would have been a life she would never have wanted to live.

So I consider that we were very lucky that such a difficult decision was as easy as it was... at such a difficult time.

I am after my Dad all the time that he needs to put an estate plan in place, end of life directives, a will, etc etc etc

No matter how things might happen at the end of his life, I don't want to make a decision (my two brothers are not decision makers... it runs in our family.... deciding where and when to have a family meal out is arduous to say the least... HAHA) if I don't have Dad's wishes/directives on paper in front me at the time, I don't even want to think about the options now... let alone when the time comes.

Anyone have any idea what the cost is for the legal work associated with getting all of this stuff in place?

I know there are tons of free/low cost options like software and such - but I far prefer to have a person there to ask questions, someone who knows all of the laws in our state, and how to make the most out of the different options that are available.

I don't distrust software options... they just aren't for me.

 

[Pigeon]

It depends hugely on what happens in your later years. My 90 yo MIL lives in her own home, but it really is getting to be too much for her. Should she die tomorrow, there would be a fairly substantial estate.

Should she decide to go into assisted living, the costs are pretty steep, so that estate would be steadily whittled down. Should something happen where she needed to go into a nursing home, it would all be gone in a flash.

 

[Pakey]

CookingQueen - I totally understand what you mean.

My Mom passed away two years ago May1, and we had to make the decision to discontinue care (vent, meds, etc etc) and while there wasn't anything in writing, we knew Mom's wishes, and what the result would have been had we not made the decision we did - and it would have been a life she would never have wanted to live.

So I consider that we were very lucky that such a difficult decision was as easy as it was... at such a difficult time.

I am after my Dad all the time that he needs to put an estate plan in place, end of life directives, a will, etc etc etc

No matter how things might happen at the end of his life, I don't want to make a decision (my two brothers are not decision makers... it runs in our family.... deciding where and when to have a family meal out is arduous to say the least... HAHA) if I don't have Dad's wishes/directives on paper in front me at the time, I don't even want to think about the options now... let alone when the time comes.

Anyone have any idea what the cost is for the legal work associated with getting all of this stuff in place?

I know there are tons of free/low cost options like software and such - but I far prefer to have a person there to ask questions, someone who knows all of the laws in our state, and how to make the most out of the different options that are available.

I don't distrust software options... they just aren't for me.

We paid a few thousand dollars to have our family trust and directives done. It was an easy process.

As far as inheritance, I expect nothing. My parents both retired at 50 and they are now in their early 80s with no signs that they are going anywhere soon. My mom often comments that they thought they had put away so much (they did, and still do, live very frugally) but they never thought they would live as long as they have.

 

[cookingqueen]

Doing all of the legal work was a few thousand dollars- money very well spent!! Everything is spelled out, medical directives, funeral plans- who gets what $ and also material things. We got everything in a huge binder that has a big section that lists my parents life ins info/ all financial info etc so its all in one place. Its also on a cd. Of course the lawyer has it as well. It was nice to have someone to walk us through all of it!

 

[cvjw]

My grandfather passed away almost 3 years ago at the age of 95. He only made it thru the 4th grade, worked as a carpenter all his life, and left an estate worth over a million dollars to his family. He saved every penny that he made his whole life. My Dad and his 2 siblings received about $350,000 each, and the grandkids each received $25,000.

My FIL grew up in a trailer with no bathroom and ended up a Fortune 500 CEO. His estate will end up being in the 8 figures range when he dies. Just goes to show that you don't have to be born rich to end up rich. Hard work, saving and living below your means goes a long way towards building wealth.

 

[Carter'sMommy]

I have no idea what the average is, but in terms of my parents all i can say is that it is a good thing that debt cannot be inherited!

 

[mmcxiiad]

I just had this discussion recently with a sister-in-law. She was adamant that when a parent dies they have the obligation to leave a substantial and equal amount to each child. Personally, I think that is a greedy assumption.

I am not sure what others think, but my thought is no ammount of money compensates for loss of a loved one. And if someone want to spend it all in life, why shouldn't they? Finally, if you want to leave everything to one person, that is your right.

maybe that is just my 2¢

 

[AntePrincess]

It depends on so much, a paid off house, brief final illness, and a life insurance policy are game changers. That said, my family has always had tidy inheritances even though no one has been especially rich, simply because we have never done assisted living or nursing homes. I looked after my great grandparents myself (and this was not a financially motivated decision, their estate was divided equally among their children and I got two items worth less than $5 each that were very meaningful to me, but there was a lot more of it to go around because I looked after them). Obviously this isn't feasible for everyone and I think it makes a difference that my family has also been big on refusing care after a certain point, signed DNRs, and entered hospice when they reached a certain age that any new condition was liable to cause chronic problems if they were kept alive. My relations have lived fairly long lives so I think we were all quite satisfied with the arrangement, as difficult as caretaking was.

 

[LocaRoja]

My MIL died last summer. Six siblings received an inheritance of $2k. One received the house worth about $50k as her and her illegitimate child had no where to live and the others felt bad. I am assuming her $60k estate is way under the average.

We will probably receive a nice inheritance from my mother, but who knows what the future may bring. We paid for all three of our kids to go to college (once the youngest graduates next spring) and are funding our own retirement.

If we can leave money to our kids we will, but our two boys who are working are currently putting a substantial amount of their salaries into 401ks and other investments. Our college age daughter is a finance major and has been investing her own money for years and is doing quite well. We have taught them to be able to take care of themselves, unlike my SIL. I would never count on an inheritance for anything.

I hope said niece or nephew never reads this post; it's not terribly nice to judge a child by something they cannot control.

 

[ceecee]

There is no answer to that question. A lot depends on your MIL if she goes into assisted living, etc. it can eat up a lot of cash. Up to $8000 a month in one around here. So there are a lot of variables and her will, I knew someone who expected an inhertitance and got nothing the uncle donated it all to his church! I plan on our retirement to take care of us not my kids. If you expect nothing, you will be happy with what you get.

 

[tvguy]

There is no answer to that question. A lot depends on your MIL if she goes into assisted living, etc. it can eat up a lot of cash. Up to $8000 a month in one around here. So there are a lot of variables and her will, I knew someone who expected an inhertitance and got nothing the uncle donated it all to his church! I plan on our retirement to take care of us not my kids. If you expect nothing, you will be happy with what you get.

You touch on a good point. Which is why everyone should have a long term care component to any life insurance they have.

It also depends on lifestyle. I took over my moms bills last year. Her expenses are amazingly low. Social security has more than covered all her expenses for the 28 years she has been drawing it. She has been banking her pension for 28 years, and put off taking her minimum 401k distributions until age 70 1/2 and so has been banking that money for 20 years.

 

[akcire]

Those of you that think $8000 a month is a lot for nursing homes need to do more research. My FIL monthly nursing home bills were $14000 before we got him I to the va home.

Also those suggesting long term care insurance need to see if you can even buy it. My husband was telling me many insurance companies are phasing it out.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

I don't think there is an average. Plus, a lot of it is dependent upon how they lived (and how long they lived) before they died. My grandmother is in assisted living and is 93. She doesn't have a lot left from her life savings and the like (90+ years will do that to your nest egg, and she never had much to begin with), but she does still have a house we're trying to sell. We don't expect anything from her aside from the personal possessions we already distributed when she moved out of her house. Now, if she had died a few years ago when my grandfather did (before she went into assisted living) there would have been some, though not a lot, of money to go around.

Now, my parents (in their 60's) have quite a bit of money squared away, but have always told me not to expect anything as they fully intend to blow it all before they die. I think they'd have to try pretty hard to get rid of all of it, but I certainly don't expect anything from them. Of course if they died now (at the same time), I'd get a boatload (only child). So really, it all depends on the circumstances.

 

[Bonnie151]

I received a very large sum after my mother passed away. It will sound crazy but I don't actually consider the money to be mine. It's multigenerational money which came down from my great grandfather. I grew up knowing I would inherit it one day but it's always been the understanding in my family that the money is not to be spent unless it's on something that will appreciate in value - that includes education.

So- we've paid off the mortgage to our house and it will help ease the pain of private school fees once DD switches to private school in three years time (we would have struggled to pay fees for both our children otherwise!). Other than that nothing has changed. We live within our salaries and have our own personal savings outwith the inheritance. It's nice to have the security, but I fully intend to raise my children with the same understanding that we are caretakers not spenders!

On DH's side, I think MIL would happily spend all of her money. FIL seems to feel its important to leave us something and I keep trying to tell him that we neither want nor need money from them!

In terms of average, I don't think there's such a thing - my family had a lot but it was planned to be passed down and passed down again. My ILs are more "normal" and they'll maybe leave a 5 figure sum? Assuming siblings, maybe 5 figures is an average sum?

 

[Lewisc]

The story goes a statistician puts his head in the oven, his feet in a bucket of ice and says the average temperature is good.

You said your MIL is in good health. My concern wouldn't be how much I might inherit but rather if she goes through money too fast and needs her kids to help out in 10 years.

I suspect the average inheritance is nominal.

 

[Njord]

Both of my parents have negative net worth. I'll get nothing from them.

My grandmother has some money that she plans on as our inheritance (money she inherited when my grandfather died), but I have no idea how much it is, only that it exists.

I have no idea about my husband's side, only there has been serious problems before in the family over inheritances.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

A lot of my parents' net worth is tied up in family land, which isn't liquid unless you sell it, which I would never do. This is why I already know I will wind up with it in the will. . .and I'll perpetuate the ball and chain by only passing it down to a dear relation who also wouldn't dream of selling it.

Still, it's a nice source of income every so often, so long as you keep it well managed.

 

[tvguy]

Those of you that think $8000 a month is a lot for nursing homes need to do more research. My FIL monthly nursing home bills were $14000 before we got him I to the va home.

Also those suggesting long term care insurance need to see if you can even buy it. My husband was telling me many insurance companies are phasing it out.

The range here is from $1,000 (which is the maximum Social Security will pay, and openings in facilities that take SS are rare and have waiting lists ) to about $8,000 (for the country club type facility) , with $4,000 about the middle ground for a good facility.
With my mom using her long term care insurance, DW and I have been looking into buying it for ourselves. No shortage of options here, although prices are creeping up. My mom paid $75,000 (half her life savings) for her policy 13 years ago....it was a combo long term care/life insurance policy. So beneficiaries would get the full $75,000 back plus interest if the long term care went unused.