What gives you the right( is just a title nothing else)

[JessicaR]

It's the anonymity. People hide behind their created online personas and behave in a way and say things that are not only completely out of line but likely things they would never ever dare to do or say out loud in person. I like to think of it as cowardice, AND I am not afraid to say that I've stooped to that level a time or two. Not PROUD of that, but realistic. I generally try not to join in dog-piles and feeding frenzies.

But I am intelligent enough to disseminate when i poster is just venting or reaching out for support, vs asking for legitamate solutions to their problems. It's almost ALWAYS the former, and that's fine too.

So sorry to go off topic but - You had your surgery? How are you feeling? I looked but didnt see you posting! Hope you are feeling well.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

So how who wants to take bets on how many posts before the thread gets locked?

It really stinks for the OP. She was obviously upset. And like she said, and I don't know if anyone really picked up on it at all, you just don't know what is going on in someones life and if a snarky comment is directed at someone who is having a rough time, they might take it pretty hard.
Someone on here said "it's just a message board", but there are real people on the other side of your screen and words can really hurt. It's hard to believe it, but it actually used to be much worse on here. It got to the point where I avoided ALL hot topic threads because I would get stressed just reading them.
Anyway, the OP wanted to vent and she said thank you for letting her do that. The fact that her thread has now turned into typical CB drama, is probably something she didn't intend. I think she would just like people to be nicer. Is that really too much to ask?

 

[Jennasis]

So sorry to go off topic but - You had your surgery? How are you feeling? I looked but didnt see you posting! Hope you are feeling well.

Well...since you asked...YES I did and it was totally a success! The surgeon wound up removing a piece of disc 10x's the size of what he usually has to remove, and it was jammed out and UP into my spinal cord. He said it was like trying to pull a hair ball out of a clogged drain with forceps. I woke up 95% pain free and am getting stronger everyday. The numbness may be permanent in my right leg...time will tell if the nerve will heal.

Had I not had the surgery he feels confident I would have become permanently disabled and eventually paralyzed.

 

[FireDancer]

I would also like to point out the irony in the judgmental OP about judgmental posts.

It is almost as good as taking the time to post something that another poster is wasting their time posting about a topic that was not worth the time it took to post about.

It's the anonymity. People hide behind their created online personas and behave in a way and say things that are not only completely out of line but likely things they would never ever dare to do or say out loud in person.

I hate that which is why I have a link to my real life persona in my signature. I don't say anything online I won't say in real life. I also know a lot of the people on these boards (the podcast and WISH boards mostly) in "real life".

 

[kwelch10377]

You must be new to the CB. Telling other people how they should live their lives seems to be an epidemic here.

People are free to have differing opinions, God knows I do from time to time, but when people think their opinion is the only valid one it is a bit annoying but, it is what it is.

Of course expecting everyone to agree with you is in effect saying your opinion is the only right one and you don't accept the opposing viewpoint.

In the end if you put anything out publicly on a forum with thousands of users you have to expect contradictory POV's, it is the way it works.

I couldn't agree more.


To the OP I will say though that I am pretty sure that some people will miss the point of your thread because of the way it comes across. It comes across as a lecture and people are automatically going to get defensive. I also find the phrase 'Who do you think you are" a little belitting, but that is just me.

When I re-read it I understood more of where you were coming from and the point you were trying to make. I know you were just trying to vent, but you are coming across just like the people you are venting about.

 

[TheZue]

Well...since you asked...YES I did and it was totally a success! The surgeon wound up removing a piece of disc 10x's the size of what he usually has to remove, and it was jammed out and UP into my spinal cord. He said it was like trying to pull a hair ball out of a clogged drain with forceps. I woke up 95% pain free and am getting stronger everyday. The numbness may be permanent in my right leg...time will tell if the nerve will heal.

Had I not had the surgery he feels confident I would have become permanently disabled and eventually paralyzed.

that just sounds painful! Did that just randomly happen or did you have an accident at some point?

 

[NeverlandClub23]

If you've ever worked at a Call Center or Contact Center it's like a real live CB. People can be all sorts of nasty when they're not face to face. I think people that have real problems with nowhere else to turn to should be going to get professional help (like a free helpline) instead of posting on the CB here (or at least get a feel for how message boards work before posting, most message boards are like this, you take the good with the bad). I don't come here with any sort of serious problem as you can usually at least google better help to a solution than the cluster... of responses you get here . I think the CB has gotten soft over the past couple of years anyways. Try not to take it personally

 

[NeverlandClub23]

This post finally helped me figure out what SMH means in the post the OP made in the offending thread.

Really? 'Cause I still have no idea

 

[JennaWest]

The 4th stickied thread from the top of this forum.

Im sorry how do I get to that? I just normally look at the new posts and use the search.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

It is almost as good as taking the time to post something that another poster is wasting their time posting about a topic that was not worth the time it took to post about.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

So how who wants to take bets on how many posts before the thread gets locked?

It really stinks for the OP. She was obviously upset. And like she said, and I don't know if anyone really picked up on it at all, you just don't know what is going on in someones life and if a snarky comment is directed at someone who is having a rough time, they might take it pretty hard.
Someone on here said "it's just a message board", but there are real people on the other side of your screen and words can really hurt. It's hard to believe it, but it actually used to be much worse on here. It got to the point where I avoided ALL hot topic threads because I would get stressed just reading them.
Anyway, the OP wanted to vent and she said thank you for letting her do that. The fact that her thread has now turned into typical CB drama, is probably something she didn't intend. I think she would just like people to be nicer. Is that really too much to ask?

Respectfully--she posted some pretty harsh words with the command that if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say it at all.

We are not a world of robots at the beck and call of those who only solicit positive opinions. We don't own the board and only a very few of us are moderators that have any power to offer advisement on proper protocol.

It didn't turn into drama--it began with drama.

There are tools to handle situations that arise--but all too often, folks forget they are there and then take it upon themselves to police other posters for being too mean.

Having a different opinion when opinions were solicited is not being mean--it's being different.

Now are some folks rude--sure, they are. But that is what the "report" button is for....to report rude or harrassing posts.


Was the OP venting? Sure.

Are folks going to disagree with the manner in which she chose to share it.....yes they are.

What right do they have to post? They have an account on this board and so long asthey folllow the rules of the board, they have every right to post what they wish in response to her lashing as much as she had the right to post what she did.

If she didn't intend drama, that is the point where she must reconsider her post and how it may come across--the very thing she has advised all of us.

 

[JessicaR]

Well...since you asked...YES I did and it was totally a success! The surgeon wound up removing a piece of disc 10x's the size of what he usually has to remove, and it was jammed out and UP into my spinal cord. He said it was like trying to pull a hair ball out of a clogged drain with forceps. I woke up 95% pain free and am getting stronger everyday. The numbness may be permanent in my right leg...time will tell if the nerve will heal.

Had I not had the surgery he feels confident I would have become permanently disabled and eventually paralyzed.

Oh boy. Sounds like you were very lucky! I'm glad with each day you are feeling stronger. Just take it easy and dont do what you shouldn't. Also, I had nerve damage and sensation returned a year after my surgery so there is hope! Glad you are doing so well.

I did not write any of this for anyone to respond to negatively, If you have something positive to say feel free to post, if this leaves you seething in your bones, than feel free to not post any response. I did not start this thread to attack anyone, just wanted to vent how I was feeling.

Ps, I think we need to get back to practicing the saying............."if you can not say anything nice, positive, or uplifting, then learn to say nothing at all.

Okay, I feel better now, thanks for letting me get this off my chest,

PSS, and please no , this is not a movie and we are not waiting for drama to unfold

love, CM8

The problem with that is you dont have the right to make that request. Well actually you do have the right but you shouldn't expect that your wishes will be respected. People have differing opinions. They feel just as entitled to their opinion as you do to yours. When someone gets you down - move on and ignore. Some people suck - they are going to keep on sucking no matter what your expectations of them are. It isn't just this message board its all of them.

 

[debster812]

Im sorry how do I get to that? I just normally look at the new posts and use the search.

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2125870

Go to that thread, and you'll see it spelled out.

And since I clearly am not one of the chosen ones, that's all I'll say on this thread.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

What??? I read those threads, they didn't seem so bad to me.

 

[FireDancer]

Perhaps that didn't come across as clear as it could, though it did illustrate the circular logic that those kinds of posts demonstrate.

Here, I'll try again.

It is like taking the time to post that something another poster started a thread on wasn't worth the time it took to make the original post in the first place.

 

[JennaWest]

Everyone should know although it would be great when posting on here if everyone agreed with one another but everyone should be aware when you post in a public place you are opening yourself up to responses of every kind. We are all entitled to have our own opinion (silently hoping they all agree with us inside) but realisticly that will never happen. I don't think I have ever read a post on here that stayed "one sided".

 

[LoraJ]

Why are people so judgemental of the judgemental?

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

Why are people so judgemental of the judgemental?

 

[chloelovesdisney]

Why are people so judgemental of the judgemental?

You I like.

 

[FireDancer]

I don't think I have ever read a post on here that stayed "one sided".

Start a thread asking if you should pack your laptop in the bag you are checking and you will get a thread of like-minded solidarity.