What food (s) to bring grieving neighbors?

[JennyWren]

I always like to send a breakfast item. So many times everyone sends dinner items. Although since it is your neighbor, you could just volunteer your time to help out with getting those casserols and such heated up and ready for them when they get home from the funeral home or clean up after.

 

[rszdtrvl]

I am definitely leaning more towards breakfast items now!

I will be going to the store this afternoon, so I will take another quick pick at this post before I leave. (I really wish Costco was not an hour away...... )

Thanks for all of the suggestions!

 

[crazyme5kids]

I always like to send a breakfast item. So many times everyone sends dinner items. Although since it is your neighbor, you could just volunteer your time to help out with getting those casserols and such heated up and ready for them when they get home from the funeral home or clean up after.

English muffins are always a good choice . I know when my father died, sometimes we just didn't feel like having anything heavy, and an english muffin was fast to make, not to mention even comforting to eat.

Another thing I like to do is to give a gift card to a local restaurant that does take out. Weeks after the funeral you often don't feel up to dealing with cooking, or even reheating food. It's nice to just go out to eat or get take out.

 

[rszdtrvl]

I ended up buying :

Bag of Plain Bagels
Bag of Cinnamon Raisin Bagels
Bag of English Muffins
Large tub of Cream Cheese
Box of 8 Frosted Honey Buns
Box of 8 Yoplait Yogurt
Styrofoam Plates
Large box of Plastic Silverware
Nice Serving Tray to put everything on

When my grandmother passed away, I know my mom went out and bought a large box of pastry. It was nice to have around to munch on. Even with that, I never would have thought to bring breakfast/snack items to the neighbors.

Thanks everyone, for your suggestions. I will bring the items by later this morning when I know they are awake.

 

[Bluestars]

rszdtrvl, I think those are great choices. I never would have thought of paper products or breakfast items before reading this thread.

 

[figment52]

I always try and do breakfast items too. People go into auto pilot those first few days and really don't want to prep anything. Stuff we could grab and eat with little or no prep was best. A Fruit/veggie basket/tray is also a favorite go to for me.

 

[christineann]

I agree with taking breakfast items. I usually take a couple quiches wrapped in foil with baking directions - these can be used immediately or put in the freezer for later. I also take juice and a fruit salad.

 

[Swan4Me]

I'll never forget the individually wrapped "bakery basket" (various muffins, danish, bagels, cream cheese, etc.) that my late husband's aunt & family sent. It was perfect those first crazy days when one doesn't want to eat a full meal, but nibbling on those got me through.

i really like this idea-most of the time those grieving really dont want to eat something heavy

 

[Glynis]

When my mother died, so many people brought over dinner foods, and we appreciated it, but what my dad really appreciated was the neighbor who brought over breakfast food. Dad had lots of people staying in the house, and not having to worry about breakfast for them was wonderful.

This neighbor brought over 2 gallons of orange juice, a Costco package of muffins, about 10 ham steaks, packages of bacon, and 3 18 packs of eggs. It was so nice! And none of it was in dishes that had to be returned!

 

[chellt]

When my brother died, we had HUNDREDS of people coming and going. We had more food than we could possibly eat. Lots of it got tossed daily.

But things we had to send people after were toliet paper and deoderant and hand soap and trash bags.

Think of all the people in a large family/close knit community in ONE house for days on end.

Another thoughtful gift was stamps for the hundereds of thank you notes.

My advice: don't take food if you know others are. Go over and do a load of towles, mop the floor, load the dishwasher, clean the bathroom....

And you can never have enough bottled water....

 

[DISshopkeeper]

rszdtrvl, I think those are great choices. I never would have thought of paper products or breakfast items before reading this thread.

Ditto. So nice of you to do this...

 

[clh2]

Don't bring ziti. When the in-laws died everybody brought ziti and you just get so darn sick of eating it. We appreciated the thought but it was like "Oh great! Ziti!".

I agree 100%. When my FIL passed away - we came in from out of town, and I got forced to eat lasagna for about 1 week. (Going out for something different was simply not an option.) It was June, it was hot, and the FIL's house wasn't air conditioned. I couldn't eat lasagna for about 10 years after this. The family recieved about 4 pans of lasagna. Couldn't really freeze it - since most were in from out of town.

When my grandma passed away, my Dad's employer sent a fruit basket along with a sympathy card. This was really appreciated by all of us.

I love the "sandwich" ideas that others have posted.

Also - don't forget to bring your food dish over in something that is disposable.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

When my wife broke her kneecap, we had a lot of folks bring food. One of my coworkers made a crock-pot roast that we were able to turn into 3 distinct meals. That was the one we appreciated most.

 

[Janepod]

Stuff that is easy to pick at. An assortment of cold cuts, cheese, bread/rolls is perfect. Non-refrigerated fruit (i.e., not cut up stuff - so, apples, oranges, bananas, peaches, etc.) And maybe a sweet treat (plate of brownies/cookies) if kids are around.

Paper products are a great idea!

You are doing a really kind thing.

 

[Gigi22]

I bring one or two home baked apple pies. People can nibble at them as they choose, and the family can always freeze one to use later.

 

[Candace]

I always try to take a big package of sturdy paper plates, plastic flatware, plastic cups, one (or two) 24 packs of bottled water, two bags of ice, and a big package of paper napkins. After burying several parents and in laws, I remember how much food gets thrown away. If I bring food, I bring cold cuts, bread, cheese, chips etc., but I always do the paper, water, cutlery, etc. And as someone else mentioned, it really helps if you sack up and take off the garbage for them when you are there. A crowded house full of people makes a lot of garbage fast!

 

[Hannathy]

Things that don't have to be a sit down meal, that can be picked at.

Sandwich stuff, A spiral ham

Pastry, breakfast stuff-sweet breads, rolls

Cookies or brownies

Beverages! 2liters of soda, water,-especially if it is an older person and younger people will be there, coffee-remember the sugar and sweetener and creamer to go with it, and cups/glasses for all

always send plates napkins with the food.

I Know when my parents died I wasn't hungry but knew I had to eat something, so having things that could be munched on a bit at a time vs having to fix a whole plate was great.

 

[Shelly F - Ohio]

*** Also volunteer to house sit while they are at the funeral home. Burglers read the obits and target houses where they know when the family will be at the funeral home. Plus you can then get the food ready and make coffee for them.

Here is a dish a usually make.

Chicken Casserole

1 pkg. plain Pepperidge Farm dressing
4 tlbs of melted butter
1/2 c. hot water
**combine dressing, water and butter
1 lg. can of french cut green beans - drained
3 lg. chicken breast - cooked - diced

2 cans mushroom soup
1 c. milk
**combine soup and milk

Method
Butter a 9X13 foil pan (use foil so they won't have to worry about returning your dish)
Layer in order:
1/2 of the dressing
green beans
chicken
pour the combination of soup and milk over the chicken
then add the remaining dressing.

Refridgerate over night then bake for 50 minutes at 350.


While you are at it make a second batch to feed your own family!

 

[Missy1961]

I agree with the sandwich makings--great idea! Like others have said, when my mom died, everyone thinks of dinner, but breakfast and lunch things were more useful. And some co-workers sent fruit--that was great--we ate it at breakfast, at lunch, and somehow it always hit the spot.

 

[rszdtrvl]

As per the daughters wishes, there will not be a funeral.

The neighbors appreciated the goodies, and I told her to make sure she eats. When my grandmother passed last month, I was there telling my mom "3 more bites", LOL.

They are still in shock, as expected. The police are there again today, maybe going over more stuff with them. The police was there for 3 hours yesterday too, investigating.

My thoughts are with them, and I told them as much. I did the neighborly thing.