What do you think of this wedding gift?

[Tiger926]

I think the main theme is a GROUPON is not an appropriate gift for many folks on this board.

"Laws?" LOLOL

Agree! She missed the point of many people telling her that Groupon is not an appropriate wedding gift.

No one around here uses Groupon at all, and it sounds like not many use it, as it really depends upon the area in which you live.

There are no "laws", but there is common courtesy and thinking about others when purchasing gifts. What is the point of giving a gift if you don't actually think about whether the giver is going to actually use your gift?

Interesting thread, Tiger

 

[clintswifeymomof4]

maybe i am super traditional, but i cannot stand getting just cash or gift cards for gifts. i think that the thought that someone puts into a gift, however bizarre it is, is truly what makes it a "gift" and not just "GIMME MONEY!"

I completely agree! I was raised to not expect any gift and to always graciously accept and appreciate any gift. I do not require or expect anyone to buy a gift (from a registry or otherwise) or give cash to me or family members for any occasion (wedding, birthday, birth of a child, graduation). Whatever happened to appreciating the thought and effort instead of being disappointed that the gift didn't meet your standards?

OP- If it was my wedding, I would be more than happy to accept the Groupon gift card. I'm sure that $100 could have been put to other uses in your household and I would appreciate the gesture and use it. Forget the naysayers... sounds like a bunch of spoiled brats to me!

 

[mrsklamc]

Whatever happened to appreciating the thought and effort

The point of the thought and effort is thinking to yourself "Is this a good gift for xxxxxx," not "what would I want to get?"

 

[Ciao Mickey]

While it's likely the wedding at issue has come and gone... and I'm using this post for convenience only... it's occurred to me how interesting it is that so many people had/have been pushing the OP to spend money she may not have had available for a gift. But she had the Groupon gift card. I know this wasn't the case, but it could have been.

If she had given the gift card, and the couple truly had no use for it, there's always the quoted example: regifting.

Are you suggesting that she was thinking about regifting a Groupon she already had?

What I don't understand is why bother to ask for people's opinions if you are going to get so bent out of shape by the responses?

 

[Gina-Gina-Bo-Bina]

Wait, so if someone is invited to a wedding, they have to give either a very specific gift that the couple registered for or cash? That's it? Wow, I had no idea that there were laws governing this sort of thing.

I'm just not sensing a lot of love or happiness or appreciation for creativity or gosh, ANYthing positive or joyous from most of these responses. I mean, a lot of you sound absolutely miserable - 'dang it, DH, another wedding invitation - let's drag out the manual. We'd better toe the line or we'll be scoffed at, and isn't that the important thing?'

And I'm not even talking about the Groupon anymore - that ship has sailed. But the mercernary streak in this thread has saddened me, and made me sort of glad I don't personally know a lot of folks who think like this, at least not in person (real people, as opposed to online - y'all know what I mean).

As Mickey is my witness, I vow to encourage my children to accept lovingly whatever anyone wants to give them to celebrate their weddings, and to think of those offerings as GIFTS, not as payback, not as a toll for the reception, not as something to judge and perhaps be snarky about - just as a loving gesture from beloved friends and family as they begin their married lives.

That being said, I'm outta here.

KC

I think the Groupon idea was a great one.....very thoughtful, very generous, and very creative. I am no hipster (but Lord, I wish I was!!) and yet I would love a gift like that. Even if they don't want to use it in Pittsburg, maybe they could have used it for a little getaway elsewhere? We don't live in Florida (or even in the USA for that matter) and we still purchase Groupons for American attractions if we happen to be heading to that particular city.

19 years ago, we got some mighty strange wedding gifts. Some not our style, some absolutely bizarre, but ALL appreciated because they were given with love. I think it was wonderful of you and your DH to come up with a way to give the biggest bang for your wedding gift buck.

As for the "registry item or cash" rule, I guess maybe that's a regional thing. Where I'm from, people give a gift they think the couple can use. The couple doesn't necessarily get to pick it .

Sorry for all the very negative responses, OP. Not everyone thinks poorly of your idea.

 

[sookie]

maybe i am super traditional, but i cannot stand getting just cash or gift cards for gifts. i think that the thought that someone puts into a gift, however bizarre it is, is truly what makes it a "gift" and not just "GIMME MONEY!"

go for it! it is unique, and for the amount of money that people typically get for a wedding, this will not make a huge dent if they cannot "spend it right away" because it isnt cash.

maybe make a nice card with it that says that these are for date nights or something. typically groupon does things like that a lot, dinners and things.

i find that my husband and i never go out to dinner unless we are invited, or receive a groupon as a gift from my mother in law (which we do for birthdays and anni's and stuff)...

go for it!

If you aren't giving CASH or OFF THE REGISTRY.
You should be giving a gift that is personal or meaningful.

Things have changed, people.

 

[sookie]

I think the main theme is a GROUPON is not an appropriate gift for many folks on this board.

"Laws?" LOLOL

It's not. It is called "keepin' it classy".

Jeez louise. Do people have to spell it out? Apparently, yes, they do.

Honestly - I'll go a step further. Let's say you are in a situation where you don't have money or the ability to give a gift. Should you just not go to the wedding? NO! That is not the point we are trying to make here.

If you don't have money, or a gift, you don't have to give the couple anything at all. Your presence is all they request - and a nice thought. A card is nice with a note written in it if you can manage that. Writing it on a piece of paper tucked in an envelope is OK too.

If you want to give them a present - then follow basic manners. Cash or off the registry. If you get a present that is not on the registry, that is usually something unique or meaningful to the couple. Otherwise - skip it entirely.

In the OP's situation, they have funds available. So, follow basic manners and follow the above.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Are you suggesting that she was thinking about regifting a Groupon she already had?

What I don't understand is why bother to ask people's opinions if you are going to get so bent out of shape by the responses?

Not at all - I apologize for giving that impression. I simply meant she already possessed the Groupon GC when she posted.

The point of the thought and effort is thinking to yourself "Is this a good gift for xxxxxx," not "what would I want to get?"

Based on her description of the couple, she thought they would like the gift and get good use (and value) from it. Her mistake was asking for opinions

Agree! She missed the point of many people telling her that Groupon is not an appropriate wedding gift.

No, I'm relatively certain she "got" that most - but not all - the responders feel it's not an appropriate gift.

 

[leebee]

I don't think a wedding gift has to be "cash or registry," especially if you know the couple well, and I am all for creativity in wedding presents. Heck, I've been known to give webber kettle grills with BBQ tools as a wedding gift, although I usually give "things" as a shower gift and stick to a nice, crisp $100 bill for the wedding. My old bank used to do gift checks, which were basically cashier's checks but themed, so they looked more like a gift than a personal check and were easy to cash because they were a bank check.

If I got a groupon coupon for a gift, it'd never get used. I'd HATE to have to do all the "stuff" associated with using Groupon: Remembering to "resort" to it in the first place, browse through offers, print things out, carry them around, etc. I know I'm going to sound pretty lazy here, but it's just too much work to be bothered with. Also (OK, I know this is going to sound snobby and I don't mean it that way... I ALWAYS love a bargain, but...) groupon has a kind-of "something for nothing" feel about it, and I'm just not sure I'd give that for a wedding. If you know for SURE that a couple uses groupon, I'd think it might be a reasonable gift, but I'd want to know that before giving it.

 

[kaytieeldr]

OP had stated she had $100 slated for the gift. Her intentions were if she gave a groupon they would perhaps be able to double this money by using the groupon deals. I think most of the posters were going off OP's $100 gift amount, not asking her to spend more money.

Yep. I think you (and the poster who thought I was saying the OP was regifting) missed where I said, "I know this isn't the case..." .

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

go with cash. They can spend it on their honeymoon, on their living expenses, on anything THEY want.

 

[MarriedToAPrince]

I am another who says to just to the cash option.

 

[DVCLiz]

I can't even imagine giving a Groupon as a wedding gift. That might be the tackiest thing I've ever heard of.

Cash, a gift from the registry, or something special if you KNOW the couple will appreciate it. As someone up thread said, those are the basics of wedding gift etiquette. The bride will write you a lovely hand written note of thanks for whatever you give her - even a Groupon - but nobody should be struggling with what to give as a wedding gift. Pick something off the registry in your price range or give cash in the amount you can afford.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Did anybody else notice the OP gave in a week and a half ago?

 

[cm8]

As Mickey is my witness, I vow to encourage my children to accept lovingly whatever anyone wants to give them to celebrate their weddings, and to think of those offerings as GIFTS, not as payback, not as a toll for the reception, not as something to judge and perhaps be snarky about - just as a loving gesture from beloved friends and family as they begin their married lives.

That being said, I'm outta here.

KC

Did anybody else notice the OP gave in a week and a half ago?

 

[mrsklamc]

Not at all - I apologize for giving that impression. I simply meant she already possessed the Groupon GC when she posted.


Based on her description of the couple, she thought they would like the gift and get good use (and value) from it. Her mistake was asking for opinions

.

No, her mistake was making GIGANTIC assumptions based on the couple's age and the fact that SHE likes groupon. It's ok to go off registry if you know the couple and the things they like, but if you have the cash to give and don't know them well enough to know if they use and like groupon, it makes zero sense to take the gift you KNOW they would like and exchange it for something many people won't like or use.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I hold my stance that her mistake was asking a bunch of people whose attitude is mostly, "Well, I wouldn't want that so those people don't want that, either".

But again, it doesn't matter. You all convinced her not to give it.

 

[joeyrose]

show me the (cash) money!...in a picture frame, great idea!

 

[mrsklamc]

I hold my stance that her mistake was asking a bunch of people whose attitude is mostly, "Well, I wouldn't want that so those people don't want that, either".

Actually quite a few people responded that they like groupon just fine, it's just not an appropriate wedding gift. Our attitude is that you shouldn't assume people like and want something just because you do.

 

[KCMiller]

Had to come back to give the update. The wedding was this weekend, and we had a shower for the bride the Thursday before. THREE people gave her Groupon gift cards at the shower, and they were the hit of the evening. Everyone, including the bride, went gaga over them, and whipped out their smartphones to talk about what they would buy. The bride ended up using two of them right then and there, and is saving the third to go out to dinner with her new husband.

So yeah. Groupon gift card. I guess you have to know your audience.

KC