What do you think about this?

[Mouse House Mama]

Now before I start I am not judging anyone but genuinely perplexed by this. I can sort of understand it but not totally. Anyway- at one of my children's school they participate in a Giving Tree. You take a paper and it has the wishes/wants/needs of a child or adult etc. Well, today I took a look (I already picked one) and some of the requests are for the Mom too. Most are gift cards to Borders or Toys R Us, Walmart etc. Then there are a few odd ones. A giftcard to Starbucks? If I couldn't afford winter coats for my kids (that was some of the requests) I couldn't imagine even thinking about gourmet coffee! Am I the only one who finds this odd? I am not complaining as I know we are so lucky and thankful to have all that we need and we do believe in sharing- but that just struck me. Anyone?

 

[MELSMICE]

I think at Christmas time everyone deserves a little treat for themselves. Therefore, I think it's perfectly OK for a mom to ask for something special that she might not splurge on for herself at any other time during the year.

It's a gift & to me a gift is something you might not normally get for yourself. If I couldn't afford Starbucks on a regular basis, but enjoyed it, I would ask for a gift card for it.

I see nothing wrong with it.

 

[a1tinkfans]

Well, I agree my first reaction MAY have been WHAT?? But then MAYBE it really is a WISH type of gift and she just wants to put something down that she knows she'd enjoy. Its not like she said, instead of getting a coat for my kids, get me Starbucks, so, I'd just think of it as her "wish" gift and concentrate on the wonderful things you can afford to get the kids.
Whatever her reason, I think its wonderful that you're participating in the giving tree.
Have a Blessed Holiday Season!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Thanks everyone. That was kind of my response too. I was really taken aback at first glance but then figured, hey, she probably never gets to splurge on herself. I love Starbucks and it is a treat for me as well. I hate the thought that anyone can't even get the basic needs like a coat. It makes me sick. Then to have to ask for that for Christmas? Seriously it makes me well up.

 

[famofsix]

just because you're poor doesn't mean you don't deserve a day to forget you are poor with something most people take for granted

 

[olena]

My sorority chapter adopted a 13 y/o girl in foster care for Christmas. Her list was a little pie-in-the-sky, too. She wanted all kinds of clothes from A&F and Hollister, a locket, an mp3 player, B&BW stuff and make-up. We only had a $250 budget and there was no way we were going to blow it all on a couple of pieces of clothing. We did get her the make-up (on sale), mp3 player, B&BW stuff, an engraved locket, a $50 Hollister card to pick out her own clothes and a $30 Target gift card. I think when they have the kids fill out wish lists, they just tell them to put a lot of options on there. I'm sure she'll like her gifts....

In the past, we'd get older kids who were about to leave the system and they usually asked for practical things to get them started on their own like household wares, tires for their car, etc.

 

[ilovejack02]

Im just fine with that, i have a cpl of singe mom friend that struggle to make ends meet and would be so flipping happy to get a 20.00 gift card to Starbucks.

 

[famofsix]

I think a lot of times the people are encouraged to ask for things that they "dream" of but I'd bet they appreciate whatever they get.

I think you are all very kind to participate in the giving tree

 

[Tink&SquirtsMom]

You also need to understand how SOME of the wish trees work. Around here a person organizing the tree calls up and has a conversation with the family, usually about the current situation that put them in need and also about what their needs and yes wants are. During the course of the conversation things may come up that the organizer will note down as nice ideas for the family... these are not necessarily requests of the family.

I have no idea if this was the case in that situation or not. But I could easily see it coming up in a conversation that maybe mom treated herself to a Starbuck's once a week before she was laid off and missed that one splurge. Then the organizer took it upon herself to write it down, because it is a cheap and easy wish to fullfill and because sometimes the smallest things make a huge impact.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Oh I can totally understand how something so small can make you feel so good. I don't have a problem with it but I do admit I found it odd at first but then figured that it would be a nice little pick me up (spirit wise).

 

[jenrose66]

Now before I start I am not judging anyone but genuinely perplexed by this. I can sort of understand it but not totally. Anyway- at one of my children's school they participate in a Giving Tree. You take a paper and it has the wishes/wants/needs of a child or adult etc. Well, today I took a look (I already picked one) and some of the requests are for the Mom too. Most are gift cards to Borders or Toys R Us, Walmart etc. Then there are a few odd ones. A giftcard to Starbucks? If I couldn't afford winter coats for my kids (that was some of the requests) I couldn't imagine even thinking about gourmet coffee! Am I the only one who finds this odd? I am not complaining as I know we are so lucky and thankful to have all that we need and we do believe in sharing- but that just struck me. Anyone?

I can see how you find this odd. I can understand from the mom's point of view...that it is a nice treat for herself that she can't afford and would enjoy...

on the other hand my local newspaper did a story on poverty. The mother they interviewed said she was too depressed to get off the couch, hasn't worked in 10 years and gets all her groceries, rent, etc paid for by social services. Now this woman went on to say that she has every single cable channel and that her kids have the new x box and several games. I found this to be inappropriate, if you cannot work and live off social services then your kids shouldn't have every cable channel and state of the art video games. I know that I would like to have money handed to me for doing nothing, but it doesn't work that way, I have a job and earn a living and even with the money I make, I don't have every cable channel and my son won't have the newest cutting edge video games. I'm all about giving food/shelter to people in need, but if you are living the high life on social services that my tax dollars pay for, that's just not right.

 

[MushyMushy]

It could also be that she's only recently poor and already has a lot of necessities. I don't know.

 

[EMom]

I'll jump on this one. (And I'll probably get jumped ON, but what the heck?)

DH and I have gotten very selective about the groups/individuals we support at Christmas. I guess about 5 years ago, I noticed a trend around here (it's a very affluent area) for people on these lists to ask for what I consider outrageous things. The lists were long and the items expensive. One kid would have a list that added up to more than my family was going to spend on DH, DD and me put together. I'd see items on there that I wouldn't even buy for my OWN kid. Well, kids can dream, you say. But the moms were just as bad. The designer purses and clothes, etc. I couldn't decide if they asked for these items because (1) they knew the sponsors were from X community and figured "they can afford it," or (2) they actually lived in X community, used to be well off themselves.....recently lost jobs after living beyond their means so they could keep up with the Joneses....and they didn't realize it was completely inappropriate to expect gifts of the same level they'd have bought if they were still earning a 6 figure income.

Sorry, but I was not about to sponsor a family and spend more on them than I'd spend on my own family. No way. And make no mistake, we were expected to finish off that list and not just select a few items from it. Nope, we started looking for lists where the families ask for non-luxury clothing items, toys that don't cost a few hundred dollars per child and cause fist fights at Walmart on Black Friday, and then we'll add on some surprises. Basically, I don't want to sponsor a gimme, gimme, gimme family. There is nothing wrong with an occasional request for a "pampering" item like a modest Starbucks giftcard. But when the 20-25 item list looks like a Neiman Marcus catalog, I have to draw the line and look elsewhere.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

just because you're poor doesn't mean you don't deserve a day to forget you are poor with something most people take for granted

Sorry but I don't take $4.00 cups of coffee for granted, thats why I never buy my coffee, either from Starbucks or Joe shmoe gas station. I bring my coffee from home every morning.

Yea it may be a wish for the mom, but sorry in my world if I couldn't afford Christmas presents and necessities for my kids, Starbucks wouldn't even be on my mind.

Sounds a little selfish to me, IMOP!

 

[famofsix]

Sorry but I don't take $4.00 cups of coffee for granted, thats why I never buy my coffee, either from Starbucks or Joe shmoe gas station. I bring my coffee from home every morning.

Yea it may be a wish for the mom, but sorry in my world if I couldn't afford Christmas presents and necessities for my kids, Starbucks wouldn't even be on my mind.

Sounds a little selfish to me, IMOP!

don't be sorry...that's why I said most people

I don't think it's selfish to name a christmas wish if you're asked to name something non-essential which is what most of these programs do.

 

[Beth76]

I hate the thought that anyone can't even get the basic needs like a coat. It makes me sick. Then to have to ask for that for Christmas?

We have a giving tree for families at our school. My son brought home a few requests. One of them is a coat. Another is cleaning supplies. Some family--at my son's school--is so bad off that they have to ask for cleaning supplies for a christmas gift. That's just not right. I would love to give a Starbuck's gift card because then I know my gift is bringing a special treat to someone.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

don't be sorry...that's why I said most people

I don't think it's selfish to name a christmas wish if you're asked to name something non-essential which is what most of these programs do.

Well sorry but if I seen alot of non-essential things named, it would totally turn me off to give. I've had experience with this type of donation since my DD's pre-school church does it. The only things on that tree is essentials for adults and wish things for kids.

I know alot of people buy their lunch out everyday, buy their morning coffee everyday etc. Those are luxuries I can't afford everyday. I still like to give to people who are less fortunate, but if it were me instead of asking for Starbucks, I'd be asking for Chuck E Cheese, to give my kids some time to forget they are poor.

My life doesn't revolve around my kids, but if I was so poor I couldn't afford Christmas, as I said, StarBucks would be the last thing on my mind.

 

[allison443]

Several years ago my girl scout troop helped at a Christmas party for residents of a women's transitional housing facility. The girls each donated a new kid's coat as well as toys. The organizers also got many other donations of coats and toys, gifts for the moms, they had a nice catered party, etc. The girls organized crafts and games for the kids. It was very nice. However, the girls were shocked that some of the moms had their nails done, leather coats, designer purses, lots of jewelry, cell phones. They could not understand why these women didn't provide coats for their kids. I did my best to explain.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

We have a giving tree for families at our school. My son brought home a few requests. One of them is a coat. Another is cleaning supplies. Some family--at my son's school--is so bad off that they have to ask for cleaning supplies for a christmas gift. That's just not right. I would love to give a Starbuck's gift card because then I know my gift is bringing a special treat to someone.

See in this situation thats fine, give these poor people a special "go out and forget card". They know they are in need and ask for what is needed to make life better for their family.

I agree to ask for cleaning supplies is sad. That poor family. In that situation, I would buy the cleaning supples, and maybe a gift card the whole family could use and enjoy.

 

[allison443]

I just want to add that at the giving tree at our church, there are several organizations that submit the requests. Some are for certain sizes of clothes, toys for certain age and gender, etc. but others are generic and then the organization gives them to people who need them. Like they ask for various gift cards for CVS, Target, etc. but then can use them for a variety of different recipients. So the Starbucks request may not have come from a particular person-not sure how your system works.