what do you say?

[ziggystardust]

I'm stretched a little thin right now (8 weddings this summer, just moved and paying down some debt), so last week when i had 3 sets of plans in row (with the same girls), I thought ok, I'll cancel on at least one.

When I say, I can't afford the movies, my sister offers to pay for my ticket. The 3rd set of plans (shopping for my sister's shower dress), I see a $20 ring I love, when my friends say Buy it, I say I can't afford it, friend says, "i'll buy it for you".

Now I obviously have some great, generous friends but i'm not saying I'm broke so they can spend money on me. And I also hate saying that I'm broke all the time.

So what do you say, when you're being frugal?

(oh and disregard the trip counter in my sig, that trip was cancelled due to all the weddings and my being "frugal" )

 

[RachaelRol]

Saying "I can't afford it" makes other people uncomfortable. I think others asume it's the movies or the car payment or groceries.... they just don't get that it's okay to not spend.


Why not try:

" I'd like to, but I'm not spending extra money right now. I have a lot of things going on."

 

[jennyopenny]

EIGHT weddings!!!
Bless your heart, and then bless it again!!
I was mistreated by a bride, while a bridesmaid~and have vowed to never do it again. You are a brave soul.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I think the key is to not tell people you're broke. Go ahead and shop with your friends. But if you admire a ring, don't tell them you can't afford it. Just say, "Oh, I don't need it right now." Or, "I don't like it enough to buy it." Your sister is a different story since she's more likely to know your financial situation. If she offers to buy you a movie ticket once in a while and she can afford it, just accept it graciously. It's probably worth it to her since she wants your company at the movies.

 

[QVCshopper]

Join the no-buy thread and tell them you're doing it. It's fun, plus you save money for all those wedding gifts. People may understand that a little better... BTW, I agree that they are probably feeling awkward with the money situation.

 

[wide awake]

Just say you need to think about it. You like the ring, whatever, but you're not sure. 20 seconds after you've left the store you and your friends will have forgotten about it.

 

[tinkarooni]

I agree with others that maybe just slightly changing the way you're saying something to friends and family might help you. I am careful with my kids so that they don't always think we're broke. We're not, but sometimes that's hard to get across to kids and other people. For my kids if they want to go out to eat or blow my money on something they see in a store I will often say "That is not a way we choose to spend our money right now." For friends I'd keep it even lighter and maybe say, "I like it but I don't love it enough to spend my money on it". This signifies that you are making a choice, not that your finances dictate your choices. Good Luck!

 

[worm761]

I have a shopping problem. (which is why I don't have credit cards. ) but I just tell people that I don't want it more than I want to go to Disney World. That is where all my spare money is going. We decided last minute (for us) to go to Disney for Rob's birthday and F&W Festival. We have another vacation scheduled before that. I am trying my very best to not buy crap I don't need right now. It is killing me though.