What do you say when people brag about how much they spend?

[morgan98]

You know what's turning out to be scarier than bragging in this thread? How many people here feel just because some spends money on some thing you obviously don't approve of they are "Clueless" or "sheepish" or "stupid".

are we really this judgemental? Does following Dave Ramsey elevate you into a superior being?

Sometimes these types of reactions really make you wonder if it is not a form of jealousy.

There are always people that can actually "afford" more that what you have. It just seems someone strange to assume that everyone that has more than you do lives on credit. To me, that is just the way it is.

To your point, there really are quite a few people that have money and can afford nice things.

 

[ExPirateShopGirl]

It's a mindset he teaches. Some people really need to be told how to handle their money so it probably makes them feel better to imagine others are ruining their financial lives while they get out of the bad money hole they've dug for themselves.

You know what's turning out to be scarier than bragging in this thread? How many people here feel just because some spends money on some thing you obviously don't approve of they are "Clueless" or "sheepish" or "stupid".

are we really this judgemental? Does following Dave Ramsey elevate you into a superior being?

 

[Arielle22]

Maybe the friend in the OP was being frugal. Maybe those $500 shoes retailed at $1,000 and she got a great deal. Likewise for her coat.

I do know several people who have lots of money. Enough to buy luxury items with cash (but always on sale) and enough to fund retirement and college for children plus help relatives with a hand out.

There is always so much gloom and doom on the budget board about people who will lose it all in the future and be homeless. Why is it so hard to realize that life does not always happen that way? Even for someone who has debt, sometimes life happens in a way that allows them to survive with no major job loss or family tragedy.

 

[Megan_J]

Wow! Looks look I got a lot of people mad with my last statement.
Plenty of people bought SUV's because everybody else was doing the same thing. They became the 'in' vehicle to have. People who buy them and who do no off-roading or hauling in them are IMHO wasting their money. The last time gas went this high they were trying to trade them in for smaller cars. Everybody has an opinion about these type of things people, let's lighten up a little bit.

 

[tlbwriter]

Plenty of people bought SUV's because everybody else was doing the same thing. They became the 'in' vehicle to have. People who buy them and who do no off-roading or hauling in them are IMHO wasting their money.

Oh well, that's your opinion. If your friends bought SUVs because it was the thing to do (and I'm assuming it was people you know who bought them, otherwise, how on earth would you know their rationale?), maybe you need to hang out with people whose lifestyle choices are more like yours. Or are you simply making presumptions about complete strangers' choices? And if so, why would you do that? I'm sure all those SUV buyers couldn't care less about your opinion as to whether they "need" them or not.

 

[Megan_J]

Oh well, that's your opinion. If your friends bought SUVs because it was the thing to do (and I'm assuming it was people you know who bought them, otherwise, how on earth would you know their rationale?), maybe you need to hang out with people whose lifestyle choices are more like yours. Or are you simply making presumptions about complete strangers' choices? And if so, why would you do that? I'm sure all those SUV buyers couldn't care less about your opinion as to whether they "need" them or not.

Yep, it's my opinion and I'm entitled to it. I'm sure they could care less about my opinion and I'm fine with that.

 

[GinnyEmma]

Oh well, that's your opinion. If your friends bought SUVs because it was the thing to do (and I'm assuming it was people you know who bought them, otherwise, how on earth would you know their rationale?), maybe you need to hang out with people whose lifestyle choices are more like yours. Or are you simply making presumptions about complete strangers' choices? And if so, why would you do that? I'm sure all those SUV buyers couldn't care less about your opinion as to whether they "need" them or not.

Lighten up obviously means rag on on people other than her.

 

[Megan_J]

Lighten up obviously means rag on on people other than her.

'Lighten up' means people should understand that others may have a different opinion than the do on a subject.

 

[tlbwriter]

'Lighten up' means people should understand that others may have a different opinion than the do on a subject.

Yes, that's true. But there's a difference between expressing your opinion (you don't like SUVs, that's fine, you're entitled to your opinion) and assuming you know what other people are thinking (people buy SUVs only because they want to impress others? that simply makes you look ignorant).

As others have said, "reverse bragging" about what you don't have or wouldn't buy is just as pretentious and annoying as bragging about what you do have.

 

[SunnieRN]

That's when you say, "Yes, it is nice!" "We worked hard to get to this point in our lives!"

This is a great response and I have used a similar line.

I love to find a bargain, like at the Disney store, when I got 50 kooky pens as Christmas gifts for people at work for around $1.10 each. (I went to WDW in November, so it was nice for people to know I had happy Disney thoughts of them, as they were Christmas pattern pens).

I also don't mind spending money at other times, or in other situations. (DVC).

The one thing that does bother me, is when friends of mine spend big bucks on expensive cars, vacations, clothing, meals out, shopping extravaganzas, gambling trips, etc., but make comments about 'you're going to WDW AGAIN?! How many times are you going to go there?! You should go to NY, Las Vegas, Israel, Scotland, etc, fill in the blank, instead.'

Don't take this as me being resentful of what they do. I'm not. Don't think I am unhappy about people having nice things, or going on nice, fun vacations. I am very happy for them. It is none of my business whether they pay for things, have a mountain of debt, or anywhere in-between. That is their financial picture, I hope they are happy. I have helped friends of mine in the past that seemed MUCH wealthier than I was, as I was a single parent, living paycheck to paycheck. I didn't judge them and wouldn't in the future. I would help them again, if I could!

We bought DVC because we LOVE going to WDW! My vacations are pretty darn budget and my souvenirs are usually just ornaments that are Christmas presents.

 

[Megan_J]

Yes, that's true. But there's a difference between expressing your opinion (you don't like SUVs, that's fine, you're entitled to your opinion) and assuming you know what other people are thinking (people buy SUVs only because they want to impress others? that simply makes you look ignorant).

As others have said, "reverse bragging" about what you don't have or wouldn't buy is just as pretentious and annoying as bragging about what you do have.

I'm very opinionated about things, and if I came across as being pretentious then I didn't mean it. I just get very passionate about certain subjects and sometimes I can come across a little rough. *sighs*

 

[lost*in*cyberspace]

What do you say when people brag about how much they spend?

Nothing. Why acknowledge bad manners?

I don't care how other people spend their money.

 

[Marionnette]

I'm very opinionated about things, and if I came across as being pretentious then I didn't mean it. I just get very passionate about certain subjects and sometimes I can come across a little rough. *sighs*

Well, welcome to the disboards!

I think that you will find that you are not the only one here who has passionate views about things! A common love of Disney is what unites us.

 

[Megan_J]

Well, welcome to the disboards!

I think that you will find that you are not the only one here who has passionate views about things! A common love of Disney is what unites us.

Thank you for the welcome.

 

[tlbwriter]

I'm very opinionated about things

Opinionated? Then welcome home!

 

[Megan_J]

Opinionated? Then welcome home!

HA! I've been trying to reign it in the last few years but sometimes it comes out without me even thinking. For example, I used to be really, really anti-corporate and was hardcore punk/goth all of my late teens/twenties and part of my thirties. Trying to mellow out from all of that has been an effort!

 

[mrsklamc]

I hate it when people ask me where I bought something or how much did it cost!

I can understand the cost, but why would you mind being asked where you bought something? I think it's a compliment.

 

[tlbwriter]

I can understand the cost, but why would you mind being asked where you bought something? I think it's a compliment.

It can depend on who's asking. Sometimes people feel uncomfortable announcing that they bought an item at a garage sale, or thrift store, or Walmart, etc., because the person asking will mock them for being "cheap." Or if you bought it at a high-end store, they'll harass you for being a spendthrift.

 

[eliza61]

Wow! Looks look I got a lot of people mad with my last statement.
Plenty of people bought SUV's because everybody else was doing the same thing. They became the 'in' vehicle to have. People who buy them and who do no off-roading or hauling in them are IMHO wasting their money. The last time gas went this high they were trying to trade them in for smaller cars. Everybody has an opinion about these type of things people, let's lighten up a little bit.

Ok, maybe it's our choice of language that makes it sound harsh. I'll try to take it light.

words like "clueless" and "sheepish" cast aspersion on the people, they don't really give your opinion.

So if you say "I think suv's are a waste of money if you don't go off roading" that's an opinion.

if you say "people who buy suv's or $500 shoes are clueless and sheepish" well that's a bit more than an opinion.

but let me ask a question. If some one buys some thing, they can afford it, they like it and they get enjoyment out of it, why is it a waste of money?

Isn't that the purpose of money? not only to buy things to survive but to buy things to live?

 

[mrsklamc]

It can depend on who's asking. Sometimes people feel uncomfortable announcing that they bought an item at a garage sale, or thrift store, or Walmart, etc., because the person asking will mock them for being "cheap." Or if you bought it at a high-end store, they'll harass you for being a spendthrift.

I guess that makes sense. Personally, I don't care what people think (I'm rather proud of my thrifty purchases and I also know my MIL thinks I spent too much at Talbots.) But I do understand how it might make a difference in certain professional environments or just to people who care more about their social status than I do. (If they're going to judge me for shopping at a thrift store, fine for them, but I really don't need 'em as a friend.)