What do you say when people brag about how much they spend?

[cheshireqt]

OP- best just to let it go, she is tacky to brag about her spending to you, especially if you are not in the same financial position as her, or if you know that she is not in a good financial position to be making those purchases. See, either way, TACKY!
For the discussion at hand - We also spend plenty of money in the course of a year and also save plenty of money too. Don't ever assume just because I have something new and shiny that I don't have plenty still in my savings!
Yet, I do know what it is to have someone in your life who brags about spending money but who I also know for a fact, from their own mouth, do not have that money to spend. I never say anything except when asked how did I afford so and so or "that must be nice", grr. Best thing is to live the way you are comfortable, keep your mouth shut about someone else's lifestyle, but be genuine in offering financial advice when asked. I still love the post about not letting a person like this know too much about your savings or you might be hit up for a loan. That happened to us with a family member, and no we did not ever get paid back for it, and yes they bought something new and shiny within 2 weeks of tugging our heartstrings enough to give them a loan. This is why I thought that advice was witty and quite sage!

 

[lakelandgal70]

We put in a pool over the summer and I really hate someone has to say "must be nice". I also hate when people ask how much we paid for something, especially in a group setting.

I hate when people say that "must be nice" too. Nothing ruins something nice than that phrase.

 

[MSSANDRA]

I just smile...

Reality is most of my friends are very frugal. Guess that is what makes us good friends. We love to shop together and compare and brag about out bargains but it is all in a fun, happy for you way. One of our friends is a doctor and makes more than the rest of us but still loves a bargain and NEVER brags about what she spends. She sometimes will quietly pick up our entire dinner check but never makes a big deal of it.

 

[Principessa1284]

I am a very middle of the road person. I spend more on some things and not very much on others. That being said, yes it does annoy me when people brag about how much they spend. However, it also annoys the crap out of me, when people talk about how much they don't spend and get their panties in a wad about how much other people spend.

People think we spend a lot of money on things, but I don't spend much money at all compared to what some of these people spend on other things. I think there is just as much attitude from those non spenders as the spenders. And is just as rude.

+1!!! My inlaws are rather wealthy (they're the type of people that you'd never know it) and ALL my MIL does is brag about her thrift store finds (fantastic if it stopped there!) and then passive-aggressively belittles me about my old navy/target/whatever I purchased at a retail store. I don't normally bother to mention that I probably got it on sale/with coupon/on clearance.. why bother when she's so satisfied with herself!

 

[shortbun]

I can be very frugal OR I can spend more than people think I should. I do not buy $500 shoes, lol, but I do buy my groceries at Whole Foods. Some people thinks it's luxury spending and I happen to think it's healthy for my family-no gmo, no pesticides, no preservatives, no HFCS. I also bought a nice house-by the standards of many-but we scrimp on energy consumption, compost, grow some of our own food. I used to buy a lot of my son's clothes at 2nd hand stores but sometimes I shopped at Pac Sun or bought expensive basketball shoes at Foot Locker. I feel like I cut where I can so I can spend what I want. I am not going to squeeze a nickel so hard that I won't recognize when the better buy is the higher quality for more money. My parents were so frugal that when my mother was dying, she had trouble spending her money on care for herself. She was very wealthy and very sick.
It was heartbreaking having to convince her that she deserved good care and that THIS would be the 'rainy day' she had saved for. When my friends splurge, I celebrate with them. When they find a great deal-brand new, tag on tops at Goodwill for $.10, I celebrate then too!!! Life is too short to worry about this stuff-imho.

 

[princesspeach]

I tell them I am glad they're happy with their purchase and then later when I'm alone I feel smug about how I'm not "wasting" money.

Honestly, though, I don't worry about how other people spend. It's possible she has $500 shoes and $30k in credit card debt. I'd rather have $50 shoes and no credit card debt.

May be she buys 500 dollar shoes has no debt and a ton of money. Why do people on these boards always assume people that spend are using credit.. Some people are just well off, and can afford nice things. Its not a waste of money if you can afford it. It sounds like you have class envy.

 

[sjaakie]

I would say nothing. I'm far from frugal but bragging no.
Always had something "hidden under the mattress" for bad days.
Looking back after many years now the financial crisis has hit us all bad them braggers are now in deep deep shXXX.

 

[tlbwriter]

I'm a Dave Ramsey follower - so when I see someone with a brand new car, I honestly feel sorry for them! People just don't have a clue! I love being debt free!

And that is a good example of the "holier than thou" attitude that's so annoying. What makes you think you know what's going on in those people's wallets? My parents pay cash for new cars and for their current house. You shouldn't make assumptions that those people "don't have a clue."

 

[tlbwriter]

I hate when people say that "must be nice" too. Nothing ruins something nice than that phrase.

"Yes it is. It's nice when a good decision/saving for a long time/whatever allowed you to spend that money/ finally pays off."

 

[ilovejack02]

I could not have said it better!!!!

I'm a Dave Ramsey follower - so when I see someone with a brand new car, I honestly feel sorry for them! People just don't have a clue! I love being debt free!

Don't feel sorry, as you have no idea what the situation is , unless they tell you .

My parents pay cash for all cars, have done this since I was a child. I got to college, people were talking about car notes and payments on this and that , I had NO idea what they were talking about. People make payments on things instead of buying outright , who knew LOL.


Back to the op, I hate it when money is discussed in anyway. I don't respond to people discussing their overspending or their bargain bin finds. Talking about how much someone spends on something is tacky imo.

Now talking about where to find the best bargains on the budget thread is not tacky lol, best thing ever !!!

 

[GinnyEmma]

I smile and say oh thats nice, or yes those are lovely shoes and I keep my mouth shut about my saving. When their credit runs out or they lose their job or whatever other life event happens that they aren't prepared for I don't want them to think for a minute that I have money to lend.

I bet you are a dandy friend.

 

[Megan_J]

I think it's nutty in this economy for people to spend huge amounts of money on things just so that they can impress people. Such as the whole SUV craze. Gas is going to probably be $5.00 a gallon this summer so perhaps they will feel a little sheepish when they can't afford to drive to work?

 

[tlbwriter]

I think it's nutty in this economy for people to spend huge amounts of money on things just so that they can impress people. Such as the whole SUV craze. Gas is going to probably be $5.00 a gallon this summer so perhaps they will feel a little sheepish when they can't afford to drive to work?

How do you know people buy SUVs to impress people?

 

[Marionnette]

I think it's nutty in this economy for people to spend huge amounts of money on things just so that they can impress people. Such as the whole SUV craze. Gas is going to probably be $5.00 a gallon this summer so perhaps they will feel a little sheepish when they can't afford to drive to work?

Maybe they bought the SUV because they like how it handles in the mud or snow. Maybe it has nothing whatsoever to do with impressing someone. And maybe they will take their spouse's hybrid to work when gas prices go thru the roof.

 

[GinnyEmma]

Maybe they bought the SUV because they like how it handles in the mud or snow. Maybe it has nothing whatsoever to do with impressing someone. And maybe they will take their spouse's hybrid to work when gas prices go thru the roof.

yep. we don't own one, but sure could use one on occasion. we can afford it, and we manage to have a savings and won't have to go begging is a catastrophie. In fact we might even share our food stores if you are in trouble.

 

[Mkaz]

We put in a pool over the summer and I really hate someone has to say "must be nice".

That's when you say, "Yes, it is nice!" "We worked hard to get to this point in our lives!"

 

[eliza61]

I think it's nutty in this economy for people to spend huge amounts of money on things just so that they can impress people. Such as the whole SUV craze. Gas is going to probably be $5.00 a gallon this summer so perhaps they will feel a little sheepish when they can't afford to drive to work?

See once again you're making a huge assumption.

Look I know this is the budget board but I have an announcement.

THERE REALLY ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE LOTS OF MONEY!! In fact there are a bunch of people out there that we would call down right RICH
They got the money legally and the great thing about living in the United states is that they can spend it, save it or burn it in the back yard.

No they will not feel sheepish. Like many well off people the cost of gas is such a small blip on their radar they will simply fill up and keep driving.

 

[Vijoge]

I think it's nutty in this economy for people to spend huge amounts of money on things just so that they can impress people. Such as the whole SUV craze. Gas is going to probably be $5.00 a gallon this summer so perhaps they will feel a little sheepish when they can't afford to drive to work?

How do you know people buy SUVs to impress people?

Maybe they bought the SUV because they like how it handles in the mud or snow. Maybe it has nothing whatsoever to do with impressing someone. And maybe they will take their spouse's hybrid to work when gas prices go thru the roof.

I have one of those SUV's. Paid for it in cash-it cost me $250! Lightly used, runs great, looks great. DH's boss just didn't want it anymore. I love it and I don't mind feeding it. Don't feel sheepish at all and I'm pretty sure I'll make it to work.

 

[eliza61]

You know what's turning out to be scarier than bragging in this thread? How many people here feel just because some spends money on some thing you obviously don't approve of they are "Clueless" or "sheepish" or "stupid".

are we really this judgemental? Does following Dave Ramsey elevate you into a superior being?

 

[GinnyEmma]

You know what's turning out to be scarier than bragging in this thread? How many people here feel just because some spends money on some thing you obviously don't approve of they are "Clueless" or "sheepish" or "stupid".

are we really this judgemental? Does following Dave Ramsey elevate you into a superior being?

no kidding! what the heck is it all about. if people don't purchase what they can afford then where is the economy?