What do you say when people brag about how much they spend?

[Megan_J]

Ok, maybe it's our choice of language that makes it sound harsh. I'll try to take it light.

words like "clueless" and "sheepish" cast aspersion on the people, they don't really give your opinion.

So if you say "I think suv's are a waste of money if you don't go off roading" that's an opinion.

if you say "people who buy suv's or $500 shoes are clueless and sheepish" well that's a bit more than an opinion.

but let me ask a question. If some one buys some thing, they can afford it, they like it and they get enjoyment out of it, why is it a waste of money?

Isn't that the purpose of money? not only to buy things to survive but to buy things to live?

I have nothing against people wanting to spend their money as they see fit but when it directly affects me in some way it can bother me sometimes. Such as buying huge cars that use up more gasoline and polute the environment more than say a fuel efficient car would.Get enough of those big cars on the road and they will affect pollution in an adverse way. That in turn can flare up my sinuses in a really bad way. I think all of us have a responsibility to think about how what we buy will affect things as a whole. Now I sound like a hippie! LOL

 

[tlbwriter]

I guess that makes sense. Personally, I don't care what people think (I'm rather proud of my thrifty purchases and I also know my MIL thinks I spent too much at Talbots.) But I do understand how it might make a difference in certain professional environments or just to people who care more about their social status than I do. (If they're going to judge me for shopping at a thrift store, fine for them, but I really don't need 'em as a friend.)

It's not just a social status thing. I have a friend who dresses down to visit her own family because they throw a fit about her buying clothes at department stores instead of cheaper stores. They think she considers herself "better than them" and give her a really hard time about it. She and her husband won't drive their newer car when they visit because they don't want her family to know they have it, because they'll never hear the end of it. Not wanting to be teased or mocked isn't really about social status.

(And yeah, I'd probably limit my visits to a family like that, or eliminate them altogether, but she's not willing... )

 

[mrsklamc]

It's not just a social status thing. I have a friend who dresses down to visit her own family because they throw a fit about her buying clothes at department stores instead of cheaper stores. They think she considers herself "better than them" and give her a really hard time about it. She and her husband won't drive their newer car when they visit because they don't want her family to know they have it, because they'll never hear the end of it. Not wanting to be teased or mocked isn't really about social status.

(And yeah, I'd probably limit my visits to a family like that, or eliminate them altogether, but she's not willing... )

I may be defining the phrase incorrectly, but I personally would include not wanting to be teased or mocked in being concerned with social status. She doesn't want to be put down in status within the social construct of her family, and there's certainly nothing wrong with that at all. It's just not how I choose to interact with people. If they don't like me, or where I shop, or what I do, well that's just too bad for them.

 

[tlbwriter]

I may be defining the phrase incorrectly, but I personally would include not wanting to be teased or mocked in being concerned with social status. She doesn't want to be put down in status within the social construct of her family, and there's certainly nothing wrong with that at all. It's just not how I choose to interact with people. If they don't like me, or where I shop, or what I do, well that's just too bad for them.

Oh, okay, I get you now. Thanks for clarifying.

 

[GinnyEmma]

I have nothing against people wanting to spend their money as they see fit but when it directly affects me in some way it can bother me sometimes. Such as buying huge cars that use up more gasoline and polute the environment more than say a fuel efficient car would.Get enough of those big cars on the road and they will affect pollution in an adverse way. That in turn can flare up my sinuses in a really bad way. I think all of us have a responsibility to think about how what we buy will affect things as a whole. Now I sound like a hippie! LOL

Regardless of your choice of transportation any nonessential travel is a waste by your definition. It pollutes and isnt necessary. Same can be said of owning anything that is not necessary that was produced using any sort of energy.

 

[lisalis]

I think the whole issue comes down to people being secure in who the are. If you are happy with yourself, you can wear $5 or $500 shoes and look good. IMO, only insecure people feel like they need to brag about spending a lot of money on an item. Honestly, if I buy something on clearance and someone asks me where I got it; only more reason for me to feel good about a good buy for cheap.

 

[princesspeach]

This thread has to be the weirdest I have read. Why do people that don't make a lot of money assume that people that buy epensive things are wasting money or buing it on credit.There are actually wealthy people in this world that can afford to spend. Why would you want to save everything. I have never seen a hearst with a uhaul full of money behind it.

 

[SaraJayne]

I'm always amused when someone here on the Dis thinks because you have nice, new things you're somehow tens of thousands of dollars in debt.

Not everyone is an idiot with money and knows how to live sensibly...without being told exactly what to do with our money.

 

[GinnyEmma]

I'm always amused when someone here on the Dis thinks because you have nice, new things you're somehow tens of thousands of dollars in debt.

Not everyone is an idiot with money and knows how to live sensibly...without being told exactly what to do with our money.

I always wonder when the fanatics will have enough? I mean do they ever get to enjoy the fruits of their labor? I am thrilled that my kids are learning to make positive financial choices, and experience travel, good food, etc.

 

[SaraJayne]

I always wonder when the fanatics will have enough? I mean do they ever get to enjoy the fruits of their labor? I am thrilled that my kids are learning to make positive financial choices, and experience travel, good food, etc.

My DH and I are complete opposites when it comes to money. I'm a spender and he's a saver.

However, we've learned together that for him, spending money to do some fun things isn't the end of the world and for me, saving money for a rainy day is a good thing.

There has to be some balance in life...hoarding money while being miserable is not a balance.

Just like "he who dies with the most toys" isn't true, neither is "he who dies with the most money".

ETA: I'm also glad we've been able to provide our children with travel experiences and new places...something I didn't get to do until I was an adult.

 

[GinnyEmma]

My DH and I are complete opposites when it comes to money. I'm a spender and he's a saver.

However, we've learned together that for him, spending money to do some fun things isn't the end of the world and for me, saving money for a rainy day is a good thing.

There has to be some balance in life...hoarding money while being miserable is not a balance.

Just like "he who dies with the most toys" isn't true, neither is "he who dies with the most money".

We tend to be the same, and I agree. I had to learn not to spend all that I had, and he has learned to enjoy more. His parents have more than they will ever ever need, and we surely don't need, but will eat food that needs mold cut off of it. They have a jar of peanut butter that i swear was from my husband's childhood.

 

[allison443]

honestly, I don't care what other people make, don't make, spend, save, own, etc.etc. etc.
Though I actually find it a little irksome that often people on here are sure that anyone that spends more than they would, must have huge credit card debt and is going to be foreclosed in a matter of hours.

maybe she has a job where she makes a lot, and is expected to dress at that level
(cue op to say that no, she is a day away from living in a cardboard box in 3...2.....1....)

You are so right!!

 

[SaraJayne]

We tend to be the same, and I agree. I had to learn not to spend all that I had, and he has learned to enjoy more. His parents have more than they will ever ever need, and we surely don't need, but will eat food that needs mold cut off of it. They have a jar of peanut butter that i swear was from my husband's childhood.

OMG, are we married to brothers??

DH's mother (and father, before he passed) are the same way. Now DH sees that she doesn't enjoy her wealth and he has vowed not to do the same. He wants to LIVE while he has the opportunity.

 

[ExPirateShopGirl]

What she said!

I'm always amused when someone here on the Dis thinks because you have nice, new things you're somehow tens of thousands of dollars in debt.

Not everyone is an idiot with money and knows how to live sensibly...without being told exactly what to do with our money.

 

[mhsjax]

I think it's nutty in this economy for people to spend huge amounts of money on things just so that they can impress people. Such as the whole SUV craze. Gas is going to probably be $5.00 a gallon this summer so perhaps they will feel a little sheepish when they can't afford to drive to work?

I purchased my SUV to haul my 3 kids around and all of their sports stuff. I also need it for when we travel, 5 people take a lot of stuff. But then again, I don't owe you an explanation. I love mine, yes it takes more gas, but oh well. I can afford it, and I would buy another one right now if mine suddenly broke down.

Again, just how do you know that they won't be able to afford to drive to work.
I have never seen so much nastiness and envy in all my life.

 

[mhsjax]

'Lighten up' means people should understand that others may have a different opinion than the do on a subject.

Yours wasn't an opinion, you stated that they wouldn't be able to afford to drive to work, that isn't an opinion.

 

[tina95]

I have nothing against people wanting to spend their money as they see fit but when it directly affects me in some way it can bother me sometimes. Such as buying huge cars that use up more gasoline and polute the environment more than say a fuel efficient car would.Get enough of those big cars on the road and they will affect pollution in an adverse way. That in turn can flare up my sinuses in a really bad way. I think all of us have a responsibility to think about how what we buy will affect things as a whole. Now I sound like a hippie! LOL

First let me say that I do not believe what I am about to say! If we are to look at thing this way do people who have health issues not have a responsibility not to have children, as they might pass their health issues on to said children and raise my health insurance cost.

 

[mom to minnie&mickey]

First let me say that I do not believe what I am about to say! If we are to look at thing this way do people who have health issues not have a responsibility not to have children, as they might pass their health issues on to said children and raise my health insurance cost.

Ouch!

 

[tina95]

Ouch!

I did say I do not believe that way!

 

[wvjules]

Wow, frugal people seem to be way more judgemental then the non-frugals!

DBF and I are spenders and savers. We like to buy things but we also save. Shopping is a sport! lol