What do you pay for child car/preschool? How to save?

[tvguy]

And what I am saying and you keep missing is it's not all about the current salary. There are other long term consequences to not working. If I work, even if most of my salary for a few years goes to child care, I am gaining retirement contributions (for me in 403b matching other sit may be different) the opportuny for advancement and raises. Showing my children's you can work and be a good mother. Showing my dds it's ok to use their brain. So while for a short period of time it may not appear to make financial sense, in the long run it makes complete and total sense.
Your mother never sought advancement, that doesn't mean everyone woman doesn't seek advancement. And staying home not only can stop advancement, it can put you right back at square one or below and you have to start all over .

No, I agree. Everything must be considered. That's my point. You have to consider everything. I would lump retirement contributions in with salary. I think what you are missing is come people compare that total compensation package against child care costs, and overall it is better for them to stop working for a while.
I will be honest, these days in a lot of jobs, seniority isn't a factor in advancement, politics is. In recent years I've seen far too many people with the skills, experience and seniority get repeatedly passed over for someone who is a better schmoozer.

 

[crisi]

No, I agree. Everything must be considered. That's my point. You have to consider everything. I would lump retirement contributions in with salary. I think what you are missing is come people compare that total compensation package against child care costs, and overall it is better for them to stop working for a while.
I will be honest, these days in a lot of jobs, seniority isn't a factor in advancement, politics is. In recent years I've seen far too many people with the skills, experience and seniority get repeatedly passed over for someone who is a better schmoozer.

Of course, if you are staying home with kids, you are missing those schmooze opportunities as well as gaining experience and seniority, missing a company match on 401k contributions, etc.

If its at all close, financially you are far better off continuing to work generally speaking - there are certainly individual exceptions. And assuming you can find quality daycare. Sometimes it isn't close - one way or the other. And that's ONLY financially - their may be emotional or family reasons to take a path that is the non-optimal financial path - which is fine. Of course for some people its better financially to stay home with kids - no one disputes that its hard to pay for daycare with an $8 an hour WalMart job.

One of the things that bugged me when my kids were little and you'd look for "expert advice" on making this decision is they often told you to add in all the costs and benefits of working is that they'd throw things in like drycleaning (buy clothes you can throw in the wash!), nylons (pants have been acceptable work clothing for women for several decades now), and lunch out (many people bring their lunch to work) and then forget to mention things like experience, the security of two incomes, 401k matching.

 

[tvguy]

Of course, if you are staying home with kids, you are missing those schmooze opportunities as well as gaining experience and seniority, missing a company match on 401k contributions, etc.
.

I guess it all depends too on the environment you work in. In my industry, most folks sign a 2 year contract and leave for another job in another city after 2 years. Schmoozing and seniority mean nothing, and I think you have to work for the company for 5 years to be fully vested in the employers 401k match. Actually, seniority can be a bad thing, they don't want folks to make the steps up from 2 to 3, and 3 to 4 weeks vacation. Just in the last year, the 3 folks (out of 150) that have worked here 30 years finally got their 5th week of vacation. Our location was the only one out of 100+ in the corporation that did not grant the 5th week of vacation.

 

[alicat8]

My daughter goes to a preschool/daycare with one teacher. It's $46/day. She only goes 3 days a week, so about $550 a month. That's on the cheap side here (CT). For right now, we're planning on keeping her there through 3. We might possibly look for a more preschooly preschool when she's 4 (I think that's a word ). It depends. My friend's kids have stayed with our home daycare lady through 4 and are thriving in school. We both teach elementary school, so we know she'll start k ready, whether she goes to a more structured pre-k or not.

 

[MrsPete]

You're a nurse? There's a national shortage of nurses. Nursing school graduates have jobs before they graduate. Certainly you lost out on the pay and benefits the years you didn't work, but nurses make great money now. I about fainted a couple of years ago when the CNA went on strike against my mom's former employer and they noted the average full time nurse with them earns $137,000 a year.

I'm under the impression that the shortage is for EXPERIENCED nurses and nurses with a SPECIALTY. My daughter's professors are warning them that their first jobs (as BSRNs) will probably be in nursing homes. As for the $137K figure, I suspect that is brought up significantly by the specialty nurses; for example, those in cardiac cath, midwives, nurse anethesiologists

I agree. The issue is folks that seemed to be shocked that their decisions ended up having financial consequences.

I agree with that statement. When you're deciding whether it's better to work or stay home, you really need to consider today's income/expenses . . . and also consider 5, 10, 15, 50 years down the road. The question isn't simply, "Can I make ends meet each month?"; rather, it's, "What's in our family's best interest long-term?"

One of the things that bugged me when my kids were little and you'd look for "expert advice" on making this decision is they often told you to add in all the costs and benefits of working is that they'd throw things in like drycleaning (buy clothes you can throw in the wash!), nylons (pants have been acceptable work clothing for women for several decades now), and lunch out (many people bring their lunch to work) and then forget to mention things like experience, the security of two incomes, 401k matching.

Yes, those articles with titles like "You can afford to stay home!" were often slanted. As you say, they assumed an expensive-to-keep job requiring dry cleaning, meals out, etc., while seeming to assume that you'd spend $0 on your wardrobe and hair if you stayed at home. And, yes, you do have to include the very real opportunity cost of staying out of work for years.

Every family should do the math for itself, using its unique numbers and circumstances. And it's important to do REAL MATH -- not bias confirmation math, which means fudging the numbers to prove what you want them to prove.

 

[tvguy]

I'm under the impression that the shortage is for EXPERIENCED nurses and nurses with a SPECIALTY. My daughter's professors are warning them that their first jobs (as BSRNs) will probably be in nursing homes. As for the $137K figure, I suspect that is brought up significantly by the specialty nurses; for example, those in cardiac cath, midwives, nurse anethesiologists
.

No clue on the specialties, but the union didn't dispute or clarify the number. Yes, a fresh, out of college RN can expect to earn less, starting at about $53,000.
http://www.drexel.com/online-degrees/nursing-degrees/nursing-salary-guide/index.aspx

 

[Divah]

No clue on the specialties, but the union didn't dispute or clarify the number. Yes, a fresh, out of college RN can expect to earn less, starting at about $53,000.
http://www.drexel.com/online-degrees/nursing-degrees/nursing-salary-guide/index.aspx

That is an RN with a BSN.......New fresh RN's are lucky to get starting in mid 30's.....

The shortage is nurses with BSN and Masters. The way of the RN with out a Bsn....is going to get slimmer and slimmer...Most states have done away with Lpn's already.

You do not graduate most nursing programs with a bsn and now most of the high paying reputable hospitals want that degree...

So no a job is not 100 percent and not all fresh nurses make that or even close....geography and degree obtained and place of employment vary drastically.

(20 year nurse R.N. Bsn and a daughter in college and accepted into the 2016 JH nursing academy)

 

[crisi]

Every family should do the math for itself, using its unique numbers and circumstances. And it's important to do REAL MATH -- not bias confirmation math, which means fudging the numbers to prove what you want them to prove.

I actually think that the bias math is fine, as long as you look for your bias. Staying home or working outside the home often as much emotional decision as a financial one, and acknowledging what you want and don't want to count might be the key to figuring out where your true heart is.

 

[Tissa]

And what I am saying and you keep missing is it's not all about the current salary. There are other long term consequences to not working. If I work, even if most of my salary for a few years goes to child care, I am gaining retirement contributions (for me in 403b matching other sit may be different) the opportuny for advancement and raises. Showing my children's you can work and be a good mother. Showing my dds it's ok to use their brain. So while for a short period of time it may not appear to make financial sense, in the long run it makes complete and total sense.
Your mother never sought advancement, that doesn't mean everyone woman doesn't seek advancement. And staying home not only can stop advancement, it can put you right back at square one or below and you have to start all over .

So stay at home moms are showing their children that they do not have a brain and are not smart enough to work? Because I like taking full time care of my children and do all the housework I am some repressed idiot?

Look, I have a friend that has her son in daycare for 12 hours a day and she doesn't even work full time. It works for them and her son is happy so I do not judge. What works for some families do not work for others. Please do not try and defend why you work by putting others that don't down and I will do the same for you.

 

[Mickeyluver37]

I actually think that the bias math is fine, as long as you look for your bias. Staying home or working outside the home often as much emotional decision as a financial one, and acknowledging what you want and don't want to count might be the key to figuring out where your true heart is.

This is so true. I always find these discussions interesting because with a 17, 15, and 7 year old, as well as a 4 month old, I think I've experienced just about every scenario there is. I started off as a military wife and student, and timed my graduation of college with DH getting out of the Army and then going to college himself on the GI Bill. When number 3 came along, I quit my job, as we had always managed to live on 1 salary. I stayed home until he was almost 3 and a job fell in my lap, however at a much lower salary then what I have been making, especially during a time that we were in a recession. At that time DH and I each worked 4 days a week and my son went to preschool 3 days a week. We both went to normal schedules when he entered Kindergarten. Number 4 really caught us by surprise, and while DH is making more than he's ever made.....so am I. I'm finally back to where I was in 2008 when I left my last job, and while my career isn't necessarily a passion for me- having a nice house in a good neighborhood for my family, saving for retirement, and paying for college for 4 kids (one going in August!) is. The downside of this is we phase out of a lot of valuable tax deductions that a couple with student loans, 4 kids, and a college student normally benefit from. So, I continue to work and have an infant in daycare for the first time ever at $324/week. And every day I question if this is the best decision.

 

[JanaDee]

And what I am saying and you keep missing is it's not all about the current salary. There are other long term consequences to not working. If I work, even if most of my salary for a few years goes to child care, I am gaining retirement contributions (for me in 403b matching other sit may be different) the opportuny for advancement and raises. Showing my children's you can work and be a good mother. Showing my dds it's ok to use their brain. So while for a short period of time it may not appear to make financial sense, in the long run it makes complete and total sense.
Your mother never sought advancement, that doesn't mean everyone woman doesn't seek advancement. And staying home not only can stop advancement, it can put you right back at square one or below and you have to start all over .

Offensive much?

 

[Gracie09]

So stay at home moms are showing their children that they do not have a brain and are not smart enough to work? Because I like taking full time care of my children and do all the housework I am some repressed idiot?

Look, I have a friend that has her son in daycare for 12 hours a day and she doesn't even work full time. It works for them and her son is happy so I do not judge. What works for some families do not work for others. Please do not try and defend why you work by putting others that don't down and I will do the same for you.

Don't put words in my mouth. I never said anyone did not have a brain or wasn't smart. I was a SAHM for several years. However, even with caring for my children and volunteering and running the household, I wasn't using my education and brain to its fullest. Its just a fact. I use the knowledge and education I worked hard to acquire on a daily basis now that I am back at work. I'm sorry if you are insulted that for me staying home was not mentally stimulating but it wasn't. It actually was a common complaint in my mom's group and eventually most of us ended up back at work because we were not fulfilled staying home.

 

[Divah]

Don't put words in my mouth. I never said anyone did not have a brain or wasn't smart. I was a SAHM for several years. However, even with caring for my children and volunteering and running the household, I wasn't using my education and brain to its fullest. Its just a fact. I use the knowledge and education I worked hard to acquire on a daily basis now that I am back at work. I'm sorry if you are insulted that for me staying home was not mentally stimulating but it wasn't. It actually was a common complaint in my mom's group and eventually most of us ended up back at work because we were not fulfilled staying home.

I completely agree with you. I kept my nurse's licence up and took all my classes to keep up with everything and changes over the years,so if the day came I could go back....

I love staying home with my children but I just could not be home...I can only cook clean run errands so much. While being with my child is amazing and I could help them leArn and grow , I felt they needed more than just me. I wanted to put my medical knowledge to use and be home with my children. I looked around for ideas and when my sister had a set of disabled twins and could not find suitable care ( she had to work). I got an idea.

Started a home daycare that specializes in special needs children. While many families have more than one child why spilt them up because one had a more specific need. It was wonderful. My children learned to accept those different. Social interaction for them and best off I was with them.

The need for this prompted me to open a center and still use my training...and be with my kids as they grow up. It was good for them and I felt good being able to work and be with the kids.

I respect those choices made to be with our kids but I could not have done it without doing what I do now. I am not selfish but my well-being is important too and i needed to find away to do both. Everyone picks their own paths and what is right for some may not be for others ,but we all do what we must in the end and that is deserving of respect.

 

[staceyeileen]

I'd like to point out that there can be a happy medium between putting your child in daycare at 6 weeks old and becoming a stay-at-home mom until your child leaves for college. I think it's possible - given the right financial situation - to take some significant time off after the birth of your child without ruining your career or "wasting" your education / years of experience. Certainly, this seems to be acceptable, even the norm, in other countries.

 

[crisi]

I'd like to point out that there can be a happy medium between putting your child in daycare at 6 weeks old and becoming a stay-at-home mom until your child leaves for college. I think it's possible - given the right financial situation - to take some significant time off after the birth of your child without ruining your career or "wasting" your education / years of experience. Certainly, this seems to be acceptable, even the norm, in other countries.

I did it much later. Frankly, my kids needed me far more as middle schoolers than they ever did as small children. And I was a better Mom for that age. I agree that you can do both, just challenging that you need to do it at birth. And if the amount of time you take is significant, you will have a harder time coming in without losing those things we talked of before - income, income growth, experience, networking, resume consistency.

In some ways doing it when my kids were older was a far better financial option. That money that we'd stashed when they were younger was growing in 529s and 401ks and had the benefit of time. Where if I had taken the time when they were young - from a financial standpoint - saving the same amount wouldn't have nearly the effect because of less time for compound interest to work its magic.

 

[tvguy]

I'd like to point out that there can be a happy medium between putting your child in daycare at 6 weeks old and becoming a stay-at-home mom until your child leaves for college. I think it's possible - given the right financial situation - to take some significant time off after the birth of your child without ruining your career or "wasting" your education / years of experience. Certainly, this seems to be acceptable, even the norm, in other countries.

I really think one thing a lot of us did (and a lot still do) is to have both parents work full time and not have child care but having mom and dad work opposite shifts. That's what we did until our youngest was 14 and in high school. Many of my co-workers do that.